JESSIE
I haven't felt this way in a long time, the feeling of spending time with a true friend. Sure, I made a lot of friends in New York, but nothing beats the connection both Sebby and I have.
Our conversation feels like I never left, and we're just picking up where we left off. I missed this. Just us drinking beer, or in this case vodka. Yes, we've been drinking since we were sixteen, but the weird part is that Sebby never gets drunk.
I have, my dad almost killed me when he found out.
"I'M THE ONLY ONE ALLOWED TO BE DRUNK IN THIS HOUSE!" he yelled. I'm surprised alcohol isn't what killed him.
But I love this, this is nice.
We've been reminiscing, laughing at all the dumb things we've done and the dumb things other people have done, and so far, I forgot why I came back, I forgot that my father is dead and that I've been fighting traumatic memories since I got here.
That's how Sebby makes me feel, he makes me forget my problems. And when we were kids, he'd make me forget that I had an abusive father back home.
I laugh hard because Sebby is that funny, even though I don't like to admit it. I don't admit it because it will only feed his annoying ego.
"That is not what happened. The ball didn't hit my head three times in a row."
"Yes, it did."
"No, it didn't. He kicked the ball, and then it hit my head, and it went rolling to the ground. You only think that it went bouncing on my head because you love to see things through a cinematic lens." I say, sipping my vodka.
"Huh, you're right. Like five minutes ago, when I saw you, everything was in slow motion," he says, acting like this is the first time he sees things like it was a movie.
I shake my head. "Honestly, I'm surprised you don't want to be an actor or movie director."
"Nah, I love movies and cinema. But my job is here, my life is here," he says, gesturing to the bar. And I know this because he loves this bar so much, and I also love this bar. And the fact that he runs it makes me so happy for him because it's all he's always wanted.
Rosa's is a bar created in the sixties by Sebby's grandfather, Alfonso De La Rosa, and the business has been going strong for years with people coming in to relax, eat some nice, delicious food with a touch of a secret ingredient that no one knows about, not even me. Only people in the family know it. And honestly, that's fair.
"So I read your books."
I almost choke on the vodka that I'm drinking. "You, read my book. Sebby, you don't read."
"Oh, come on, I read now!"
"Oh my God, you're not joking, you're being serious."
"Of course I'm being serious, Jezzy." Jezzy, a nickname he gave me when we first met. We were ten, and I was reading Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, and he asked me if the book was any good. I told him yes, and he told me his name, and I told him mine, and then he decided to just call me Jezzy.
He's funny like that.
But he's the only one who calls me Jezzy, and I love the fact that he's the only one who calls me that.
"Those books made me cry. How dare you play with my emotions like that, Jezzy? The two of them deserved to be together."
And by the two of them, I'm guessing he's referring to my characters Jackson and Mateo from my first book, Chasing Fate. Yeah, it might have been people's favourite romance novel, but a lot of people did cry.
I'm just more surprised that Sebby read the book; he never reads.
"Wow, the fact that you read it shocks me."
"Now what does that mean? I'll always support you, you know that," he says in all seriousness.
"I know, it's just that…it's just that I thought-I thought you'd be mad at me. I thought you hated me because I left without saying goodbye. I mean, yes, I sent you a letter, but still you deser-"
He shuts me up by placing his hands on mine, he puts his hand on my face, and he wills my head forward so I'm looking at him. We're both looking at each other. Keeping eye contact and not breaking it.
"Hey, I understand why you had to leave. Hell, I encouraged you to leave that house, remember."
Yes, he did countlessly; he even suggested murder.
"It kills me to think that you thought I'd hate you. I would never hate you, Jezzy."
I smile. And him being this close, and him looking at me like that, has brought flashbacks of when we were both staring at each other so intimately until we kissed. One of the best nights of my life.
But we were teenagers then, things have changed.
I clear my throat, and I chuckle nervously. "That's me overthinking again."
"I really wish you'd stop doing that," he says. And yeah, he's always hated the fact that I overthink. He hates it more than I do.
A small smile creeps on my face because it's good to know he still cares about me. It's good to know he doesn't hate me.
"So, how has New York been treating you? Are you tired of watching Broadway shows?"
"Firstly, I'll never get tired of watching Broadway shows, you know me."
"I do," he winks at me, and that sends electricity down my spine. That always affects me, and he knows it. Maybe if I tell him I have a boyfriend, he'll stop flirting with me. But do I need to bring Jeremy up?
"New York is a jungle, and everyone minds their business. Two people could be having sex on a train and no one would care."
"Hot," he says. "Man on woman action. My dick will react to both the man and the woman," he says shamelessly.
Sebby is bisexual. He started out liking girls and then, according to him, it was my lips that made him like boys. He hasn't stopped looking and thinking about my lips. He was even the one who initiated the kiss,
According to him, I might have fallen first, but he fell harder.
"You're crazy," I say, laughing at his goofiness.
"You know me so well," he says with raised brow. "Uh… so what about romance. You've always been a romantic. Is there… anyone in the picture?"
Oh no. I mean, it's only fitting I tell him the truth, right?
He's going to find out anyway.
"Uh… yeah, I uh, I have a boyfriend, his name's Jeremy. He's nice."
"Oh, cool, cool," he says and is that disappointment in his voice, or am I just overthinking it? I'm probably overthinking it. Ugh, I hate this feeling. I wish I knew what he was thinking.
"He's probably hot because you have good taste." He says, and I just roll my eyes with my smile intact.
"How about you? Are you…" I shrug. "Seeing anyone?"
"Nah, maybe hook-ups here and there, threesomes here and there, but I haven't had anything serious with anyone since..." he stops talking, and then he looks at me, then once again we're stuck looking at each other.
I can't believe this. He hasn't dated anyone since me? I mean, we never dated, we just confessed our feelings, and we kissed, and then I disappeared, that's all that happened. But still, when we were kids, Sebby had been dating since he was ten. To know he only has sex and hasn't had any emotional connection with anyone just feels too unbelievable.
Because just like me, he's also a romantic, always has been.
I don't even realise we're staring at each other until he clears his throat, and I am back to reality, the reality where I have a boyfriend and I'm not going to be here for a long time.
"Oh, would you look at that, we're almost out of vodka, and you're not drunk yet."
"That's because it was a half bottle. Why are you acting like I'm some drunk?" I ask him, and he tilts his head.
"Hmmm, I'm not going to answer that. I'm just going to go get another bottle," he picks up the empty bottle and heads out back.
"Are you trying to get me drunk, De La Rosa!?"
"That's the plan, Humphrey!" he yells back, and I shake my head.
"Clown," I mutter, giggling.
I look around, and everyone's gone; the bar is literally empty. I look at the time on my phone. 12am.
Oh my God.
This is also what life is like when you're hanging out with Sebastian De La Rose. Time goes by, and you don't even care about it.
I stand from my stool and I look around me. It's truly good to be back, like seriously. I missed this place so much. I head straight to the memory wall, where there are pics of customers, family friends, and friends.
A picture of Sebby's late dad is in the middle. I never met him; he died before me. Sebby and I met him, but he was an extremely handsome man.
I see a picture of young Seb with his girls, his mom and older sister. I smile when I see a picture of me and Seb, our arms wrapped around each other's shoulders.
There are like four pictures of us on this wall. We were in our prom suits and our graduation gowns.
God, life with him is just so perfect. It's like living in a dream world.
I hear the door swing open.
"Took you long enough," I say, turning around, but what I see is not Sebby, it's something strange, something large and… monstrous.
This thing looks like a beast, with their large horns, beast-like body and legs, and the claws are longer than anything.
What the fuck is this? Is it the alcohol that's making me imagine this? I've never imagined anything wild because of alcohol before, so what the fuck is going on?
I attempt to run, but I receive a sharp pain in my back, like I've been stabbed.
I have been stabbed.
I've never been stabbed before
Everywhere's going dark.
I've never had a near-death experience before.
Hell, I've never died before.