JESSIE
I drop my plate, I rest my back on the chair, and I place my hand on my stomach.
"Oh my God, Mom, I have missed your cooking."
Mom giggles, she flips her curly dark hair, and takes my plate and hers. "I knew you were going to love it. My Gumbo has always been your favourite."
"Always."
She goes to drop the plates in the kitchen, and then she comes back and she sits down, she rests her chin on her hand, and she just stares at me, she doesn't say anything. I look from left to right, and I look at her.
"Uh, why are you staring at me like that, mother?"
"I just haven't seen you in years. And video calls don't count," she says, smiling at me, and she looks so cute right now. "You're taller, you look more confident, you look happy, you're a best-selling author." She lets out a sigh of happiness. "I am so proud of you, my dear." She says, placing her hands on my hand, and I hold hers.
"I always knew you were going to do something good with your life. That's why I wanted you to go to New York."
I look away from her.
"I wish you had come with me, though."
"I know, honey, I know, but I wanted you to be on your feet, to make your own choices, do things your way. And besides, you figured it out. You got on your feet. You should be proud of yourself, honey."
I smile, because even though I had a parent who would berate me and burn my writings. At least I have a parent who always loved and took care of me. I love my mom so much, and even if I got my happiness, she deserves to be happy too.
"So how's Jeremy?"
"He's fine. He says I should say hi to you."
"Aww, I want to meet him. Anyone who makes my baby happy makes me happy."
"You'll meet him soon," I say, and seeing my boyfriend in the same room as my mom will actually make me the happiest man on earth.
"So, are you going to Rosa's tonight, to see a special someone?" She waggles her brows, and it makes me cringe. I hate it when she does that. But I do, of course, know who she's talking about.
I drop my glass of water, and I clear my throat.
"Do you uh… think he'll be there."
"He basically runs the place now."
I raise my brows in shock. But I don't know why I'm shocked. Sebby has always wanted to run his family's bar. He's always loved being a businessman, and he's always loved New Orleans and never wants to leave, so… I'm not surprised. It is Sebastian De La Rosa after all. My best friend, my first love.
"Wow, good for him, I just… I don't know if he wants to see me."
"How about you go to Rosa's and see for yourself." Mom gets up, and she places a hand on my shoulder, and then she disappears into the kitchen.
Oh well, there's only one way to find out.
It's eight pm and I'm at Rosa's, but before I get here, I have been saying hi to people who have known me before. And the conversations were so fucking awkward. I wasn't close to those people, though, so it makes sense.
But what if I and I meet, are we going to be awkward? I hope not.
Seeing Rosa's puts a smile on my face. I remember when I'd run here when things would get tough at home, and Sebby's mom would give me a burger to eat, and after, Sebby and I would do our own thing, like making fun of drunk people or smiling at couples who were on their first date.
Those were good times.
And seeing that people still come to Rosa's makes me so happy. Rosa's isn't just a bar; it's a home where people go to just relax and run away from the harshness of life.
I breathe in and out before walking in. The place is packed, but of course it is; the place will always be packed. I love this place so much, it's like heaven.
I look around, admiring Rosa's, some things have changed, but it's still the same Rosa's I grew up loving. The same place that gave me a home when I'd run away from my house to hide from my father.
I truly missed this place.
And as I look around, there are lots of people who are just being happy, people getting drunk, couples going on dates, people just having a great time.
Flashbacks of me and Sebby sitting in a booth, eating our food while we gossip about people. I missed him so much. Where the fuck is he?
"Jessie?" I turn around at the familiar voice, and it's a beautiful Puerto Rican woman with long curly hair and wide hips walking toward me with a grin on her face.
"Hello, Camila."
"Mi Amor, my darling, oh my God." She hugs me, and I hug her back. Camila De La Rosa, Sebastian's mom, is also my second mom.
"I have missed you so much. You're so tall and you're even more handsome than before."
I blush. I never used to get that compliment when I was a teenager. Until I got taller, I kept my hair in an afro and kept my facial hair. Well, actually, Camila and my mom always called me handsome. But other people in general never used to.
Huh, Jeremy is right, the facial hair does make me look hotter.
"And you look beautiful as always," I say to her.
"Aww," she waves me off. "You always know just what to say, my dear," she says, smiling, but that smile slowly disappears from her face.
"Also, I'm truly sorry for your loss."
This has been the statement from the people I met while I was coming here. And I love Camila; her heart is in a good place, but honestly, I am tired of hearing that.
"Yeah, he was a piece of shit, but he was still your father."
"Yeah." Ain't that the unfortunate truth?
"Uh, Sebastian's by the bar. He'll be very happy to see you." Camila pats me on the shoulder. "It's really good to see you again, Mi Amor," she smiles and then walks away.
I take in a deep breath and I exhale. Which is something my therapist said I should do once I sense the anxiety creeping in.
I move forward, walking past some bikers and a family of four (the wife looks miserable). I head over to the bar. Some people recognise me, and they're whispering to themselves. I pay them no mind, I just head straight to my destination, to the person I've always wanted to meet.
The person I regret leaving behind the most.
Seeing him again is like being lost in a trance or being stuck in a good dream.
Sebastian De La Rosa has not lost his handsomeness or his charm. He's muscular now, but he was skinny back when he was a teenager, so was I. Well, I still am skinny.
He's wearing a black shirt that shows his biceps.
He's more muscular, more handsome than before with his curly dark hair, light brown eyes, full lips, beige skin and defined jawline. He's perfection, and seeing him right now brings back memories, memories of me having a huge crush on him and him showing me that he also had feelings for me by kissing me on the lips.
He's standing behind the bar, flirting with two ladies, Sebastian De La Rosa, always the flirt. I shake my head at him. He still uses the same tactics and gestures to flirt with people. The head tilt, the raised brows, the eye contact of longing, the sense of humour, the words of affirmation, the winking, and the subtle physical touch.
Ugh, I don't blame these women for falling. I was once in their position.
I walk closer to him.
I clear my throat, and he stops talking to face me.
The smile on his face disappears, and he looks shocked to see me right now. We both look into each other's eyes like we did last time before we shared that kiss, before everything came falling apart.
"Jessie," he says in a soft voice.
"Hello, Sebby."
We both stare at each other for the longest time, and the woman he was flirting with looks between the both of us, confused as to what the hell is happening right now.
"Uh," he clears his throat. Then looks at the two women he was flirting with. "Ladies. I'll talk to you later. Jessie here is an old friend of mine, and we have a lot of catching up to do," he says, but he keeps eye contact with me.
"That's okay, we were going to Vampire Cafe anyway." The blond woman says, and both of them stand on their feet.
"See you later." Sebby sings. They wave and they head out the door.
"I really hate the fact that people celebrate vampires," Sebby says in a grimace.
"Wow, you still hate vampires."
"Of course I do, they're disgusting."
I laugh, and then he walks out of the bar, and then he throws himself on me.
"I've missed you so much," he says, and I can't help but smile.
"I've missed you, too."