Previously: After the last kendo class, we discovered that Kamishiro Shiro and the others are… still university students!
And as science majors, what tortures them most isn't the lectures, internships, or even exams.
It's writing reports!
Completing a report requires students to truly understand the material, sift through an ocean of knowledge to find the few drops they need, and finally compile it all into something coherent!
Compared to that, sitting through a class for an hour or so is nothing.
They used to think writing reports was the worst... until they saw—
An associate professor who fell asleep reading them!
Bastard! Can't you respect the blood, sweat, and tears of others?!
And why, for god's sake, do you have pigeon sound effects while you sleep?! Are you some kind of magician?!
...
Watching the snoozing associate professor, Kamishiro Shiro silently shot a look at Iori. Yesterday, he'd taught Iori a secret technique.
Iori nodded, then placed his open palm behind his own butt.
Pffft~
#Hand-Grasped Fart: Activated!
A pungent stench wafted up directly under the professor's nose.
#Inhale
He suddenly broke into a blissful smile. "Ah, stinky tofu aroma~"
╭(°A°`)╮
The group instantly wore horrified expressions. This guy's hairstyle was already questionable—now his tastes were too?!
As expected from someone who styles their hair to cover one eye—he's clearly something else.
But fortunately, Iori's "Hand-Grasped Fart" worked. Maybe that stench of "stinky tofu" really did wake him up.
"Huh? Where's my stinky tofu?"
His first concern upon waking was his non-existent tofu snack, completely forgetting that they were in the middle of a presentation session.
(?°?д°?)
Seeing his drowsy, clueless look, the whole class was fuming. They all wished they could hit him with their own version of the hand-fart technique.
"Professor, this is supposed to be the presentation time. Falling asleep during someone else's report is extremely rude."
Kamishiro Shiro restrained his rage and spoke calmly. After all, this man still held their grades in his hand…
However…
This particular professor didn't seem to care about second chances.
"The ones at fault here are you lot!"
!!!
He stepped straight onto the execution platform with that line, completely unaware of the kind of degenerates he was dealing with.
"To write such boring, sleep-inducing reports—you should be ashamed of yourselves!
The essence of a presentation is refined beauty! Like brewing your favorite rosehip tea on a crisp morning, accompanied by my melodious humming… Understand now, you academic bottom-feeders?"
The associate professor flicked his hair narcissistically, then dramatically tossed the students' reports into the air as though they were garbage.
Kamishiro Shiro's face turned expressionless as he watched his report flutter away.
In his mind, he had already sentenced this weird-haired man to death.
Seriously, what is up with all the weirdos working as teachers at this school?!
（▼へ▼メ）
...
Cafeteria
The seven-man scumbag team could no longer hold back their collective rage!
"That bastard! What the hell is wrong with him?! I'm livid!"
"What the hell was with all that nonsense he spouted?!"
"Does he even realize how much effort we put into those reports?!"
"I even… I even skipped through a long-awaited adult video just to finish mine!"
"I went so far as to record this season's best anime instead of watching it live…"
Yamamoto and Kohei both shed tears of regret. They had paid unbearable prices for these reports!
"That guy… that guy had the nerve to call my report boring?! Called it academic trash?!"
"Honor student" Kamishiro Shiro slammed the table in fury. Ever since childhood—aside from language classes—he was hailed as a genius!
Now his report had been mocked?!
Unforgivable!
It must've been that professor's lack of skill, not his own!
(Though in truth, our fake "genius" Kamishiro was only ever called a prodigy because he has memories of his past life…)
As someone who never lets grudges slide, Kamishiro Shiro certainly wasn't going to let that idiot off the hook.
"Hey, Kitahara, didn't that guy also say, 'It's the fault of the people who wrote such boring reports'?"
A cruel grin curled on Kamishiro Shiro's face. His childhood friend Iori instantly understood.
His expression turned equally sinister. "Now that you mention it, that old guy really did ask for it."
Everyone there smiled—grins that looked exactly like oni (demon) masks.
"Then let's show him exactly who he picked a fight with!"
...
The Next Day – In the Associate Professor's Class
Having just sipped some rosehip tea, the associate professor entered the classroom and nodded in satisfaction at the full attendance. Adjusting his white gloves, he said with a smug face:
"You are being taught by the top candidate for the next professorship. I expect you to savor every second."
"Now, let's begin today's lecture on Material Mechanics…"
Gulp, gulp, gulp~
A tiny noise caught his ear.
Instantly!
He jumped like a startled cat. "Who was that?! Who dares eat during my class?!"
The classroom fell into a tense silence.
Smirking slightly, the professor strutted around with a twisted grin, trying to catch the culprit red-handed.
But...
He found nothing.
Frustrated, he returned to the podium and struck a dramatic pose, emphasizing:
"NO food or drink during lecture! That's common sense!"
Down below...
Model student Kamishiro Shiro quietly stashed away his bag of chips and smiled smugly.
Yesterday, he'd already dug up everything there was to know about this associate professor—Ushironomiya.
That's right!
He was an obsessive perfectionist and a pathological control freak when it came to his classes.
Students had to follow his every rule to the letter—otherwise, he'd go full-on torture mode.
It's said his former students all rated him highly.
After all, anyone who survived his class had maxed-out survival skills!
At this moment—
Kamishiro Shiro's plan was to agitate Ushironomiya's nerves and pave the way for what was to come.
They had spent an entire day preparing for this operation. Hopefully, Ushironomiya wouldn't fold too quickly.
As the associate professor turned around...
All seven degenerates in the classroom wore the same cruel grin.
This class...
Will absolutely not go peacefully!
Brace yourself for revenge... Ushironomiya!
"I told you not to drink water, didn't I?!"
Assistant Professor Ushironomiya's face twisted in rage as he stared at Iori. This was nothing less than trampling all over his authority!
"Eh?"
Facing the furious professor, Iori remained calm and unshaken—this was all part of their plan.
"You misunderstood, Sensei."
Saying that, he calmly pulled out the item in his hand—
A 500ml can of beer!
"I absolutely wasn't drinking water!"
His expression was just like that friend of yours who gets accused of drinking water when he's clearly downing alcohol.
(-ι_- )
(???皿??)??3??
Professor Ushironomiya's face kept twitching at the sight of the beer can.
"You little brat, drinking beer is even worse than water!"
Splash splash~
Just as the professor was about to hold Iori accountable, the sound of liquid came from nearby. He turned his head and saw Shiro Kamishiro's desk completely covered in bottles of alcohol.
That damn squinty-eyed guy was even shaking a cocktail shaker with practiced flair.
"Kamishiro-kun, what exactly do you think you're doing?"
Ushironomiya looked downright monstrous—veins bulging on his face like he could star in a horror film!
"Reporting in, Professor. I'm not drinking alcohol or water, I'm just mixing some beverages."
Kamishiro replied calmly and even passed a freshly mixed oolong tea to Kohei sitting next to him.
(σ;Д)σ
"That's even worse! Are you planning to open a damn bar during my lecture?!"
Ushironomiya flipped over Kamishiro's setup on the spot. This was completely absurd!
Looks like it was time to teach these punks what classroom discipline really meant.
However...
"Instead of wasting time on this, please continue the lecture, Sensei."
"Yes, let's not squander our limited time."
Tch!
"You rotten soggy chamomile tea bags!"
With even the students saying this, Ushironomiya had no choice but to drop it. After all, as a teacher, continuing the class was more important—
It definitely wasn't because he was afraid of being reported for derailing the lesson!
"Ugh..."
Crunch crunch~
Just as Ushironomiya tried to recall where he'd left off, he heard someone munching again.
For someone with perfectionist tendencies about his lectures, this was the last straw. He teleported to the student eating a sandwich.
"Eating lunch early?"
"I told you no eating in class!"
The veins on Ushironomiya's head still hadn't gone down. He felt utterly disrespected—back in the day, no one dared eat in his classroom!
Gulp~
Facing the demon-like professor, Fujiwara calmly swallowed his sandwich and replied, "It's not just me."
Ushironomiya looked around and noticed several students hiding behind their textbooks.
He silently began lifting the books one by one...
Cookies.
Bento boxes.
Grilled meat.
Pig's head.
...
Wait a second! Something's not right here!!!
Ushironomiya was horrified when he looked over at Iori and Kamishiro. He could tolerate cookies and bento boxes—but grilled meat and a whole pig's head?
"You guys are actually barbecuing in class? Are you trying to ascend to heaven?! And what's with the pig's head? How the hell did you even sneak an entire pig's head onto campus?!"
The professor was losing his mind. This couldn't possibly be a normal classroom!
"What are you referring to, Professor?"
"These things just happened to be in our bags."
"That's just a pig's head... mask."
!!!
"Who the hell just casually brings something like that to school?! And why the hell would a mask be missing one ear and smell like actual meat?!"
Meanwhile, in the Izu University Security Office
A white-haired man in a security uniform sat chomping on a pig's ear while watching a girl sprinting in late.
...
"I've had enough! Everyone, empty your bags right now!"
Seeing how ridiculous the class had become, Ushironomiya decided to do a full cleanse before continuing. He was determined to see just what kind of garbage these idiots had brought to school!
Bang! Bang! Bang!
After forcibly inspecting everyone's bags, dear Assistant Professor Ushironomiya straightened his white gloves and returned to the podium.
It was time for judgment!
First category: Hentai manga and R18 magazines.
They were all adult males, so this was... barely understandable.
Second category: AVs and gaming consoles.
Still crude and aggravating, but okay—they're full of youthful energy, after all.
Third category: All sorts of alcohol.
Almost all of this came from one bag—Kamishiro Shiro's. Before today's class, Ushironomiya never would've believed one backpack could fit so much booze.
That guy must've robbed a bar!
But considering the pig's head, this was still within the bounds of human understanding. Because the most absurd thing was yet to come—
Fourth category…
Staring at the vacuum cleaner on the table, Ushironomiya looked like a broken man.
"This thing... I don't get it at all... Why bring it?!"
He couldn't fathom why a university student would bring a vacuum cleaner to class. To clean the classroom? Really?
"I don't see you guys as the type who'd voluntarily clean anything."
His previously self-confident brain was utterly shattered by this one appliance.
Turns out the books were right—geniuses truly can't understand idiots.
"What are you even saying, Professor!"
Hearing Ushironomiya's doubt, the students acted deeply hurt.
Iori even pounded his chest and said proudly, "Don't judge us by appearances—we're extremely considerate and responsible men!"
...
Meanwhile, just outside the classroom...
A figure was rushing over.
"Whew... Helping at the shop made me lose track of time. I hope I'm not late."
Chisa looked at the classroom door and suddenly felt nervous. This was her first time being late for class.
What she didn't know was that Professor Ushironomiya didn't even notice her~
In his eyes, there were only a few beloved little idiots.
Just as Chisa was about to open the door, she spotted something familiar through the window.
A vacuum cleaner?
She stared in confusion at the object that had no business being here. Her curiosity piqued, she peeked through the window.
And saw a sight she would never forget for the rest of the day.
Inside the classroom:
Kohei and the others were grilling meat on an electric stove, while Kamishiro was mixing cocktails from a wine bottle for everyone.
Most shocking of all—Iori, holding the vacuum cleaner and using it to suck away the smoke from the barbecue...
At that moment, honor student Chisa suddenly really didn't feel like going to class anymore.