There was something about the way city lights blinked that reminded me of the cameras i used to face.
Always on.
Always waiting.
But these lights didn't demand anything from me. They just... existed. And somehow, that made them beautiful.
I stepped out onto the balcony, well, more of a small terrace, really.
Just enough for a chair and a potted plant that i kept forgetting to water.
The Seoul air was cool tonight, laced with the faint scent of grilled meat from a nearby restaurant and the distant hum of life.
And there it was. The billboard again.
Sebastian Blair Gutierrez, ten feet tall and glowing.
His jaw sharp, his eyes intense, the words SOLSTICE World Tour: Thank You, Seoul! printed beside him in bold silver letters.
God. He was everywhere.
I had just seen him last night, live onstage. And now his face hovered across from my apartment like some kind of cosmic joke.
I pulled the oversized sweater tighter around my frame and sipped from the cup of hot barley tea in my hand. It was lukewarm. Not terrible. But not great either.
Much like my mood.
My phone buzzed against the metal table beside me. I didn't bother checking it.
I already knew what it was.
Margaux Imperial spotted at SOLSTICE concert in Seoul!
Is the former controversial actress finally embracing K-pop?
The people's fallen star might just be rising again.
Filipino fans had taken my photo during the concert. I didn't even know they were there. I thought i'd blended in hair tucked under a cap, oversized mask on, hoodie zipped up to my chin. But apparently, fame was harder to escape than i thought.
The posts were everywhere.
Facebook.
Twitter.
Even TikTok.
And the comments?
Shockingly kind.
"Margaux looks so peaceful."
"Come back home, we miss you."
"She deserves a second chance."
"I wanna see her act again!"
It had been months since i left the Philippines.
Months since i last updated my socials. Months since i let anyone really know what was going on in my life.
I didn't think people cared anymore. Honestly, I wasn't sure i wanted them to.
But now... they did.
Or maybe, now that i had nothing left to prove, they finally saw me for who i was.
Still, I didn't reply. I didn't post. I didn't reshare the concert photos or thank anyone for the support.
Not because i was ungrateful, but because... I didn't know how to come back without falling into the same cycle again.
I'm happy here.
Happy in a way that didn't feel performative.
No lights.
No scripts.
No sides to pick.
No networks pulling strings behind the scenes.
Just me.
Just this silence.
Just this version of life where i didn't have to be anyone's idea of redemption.
A sliding door clicked open from the unit across mine.
My eyes lifted instinctively.
There he was again.
Sebastian Blair Gutierrez.
White shirt, black joggers, a mug in his hand, and a look on his face that said he hadn't quite decided if he was going to acknowledge me or not.
I waited.
He took one sip of his coffee.
And then... he did.
"Why did you run away?"
Just like that.
No introduction.
No 'hello.'
Just straight into it, like he'd been waiting for the question to fall out of his mouth for days.
I blinked at him, my fingers tightening around my cup.
"What?" I said, half-expecting i'd misheard him.
He tilted his head slightly.
His tone wasn't accusing. It wasn't even curious. It was something quieter. Like he was asking not just for the sake of the question, but for what it meant.
"Why did you leave?" he asked again.
"Everything. Everyone. All of it."
I scoffed a little, because what was i supposed to say?
"You wouldn't understand."
"Try me."
God, that voice. Deep. Even. Almost too calm. Like a calm sea hiding a rip current.
I looked away, back toward the glow of the city. "You think just because you live above everyone, it's easy to breathe up here?"
He didn't reply.
Just leaned on the railing, mug still in hand, face unreadable in the dim light.
"I didn't run," I said eventually. "I left before i drowned."
His eyebrows lifted just slightly. "That's what you tell yourself?"
"Wouldn't you?"
He smirked then, but there was no arrogance in it.
Just a quiet kind of knowing.
"You know," he said after a beat, "you're not the first person to look at that billboard and think i'm a jerk."
I turned to him fully now, surprised. "Excuse me?"
He shrugged, eyes flicking toward his giant face plastered across the skyline. "I've been called worse. Cold. Arrogant. Distant. All because i don't do fan service the way others do. Because i don't post every five seconds or fake smiles at airports."
"Well," I said, crossing my arms, "you did accuse me of following you in an elevator."
His lips twitched.
"You weren't pressing any buttons."
"Maybe i was just thinking."
"While staring directly at me?"
"I didn't stare! I glanced!"
He let out a small laugh. It was low and short, but real.
I hated how much i liked the sound of it.
We stood in silence again after that, the air between us neither cold nor warm. Just... strange.
Unfamiliar.
Safe?
"Why a SOLSTICE concert?" he asked, voice softer now. "You don't strike me as a K-pop fan."
I sipped my tea. "I wasn't. Until recently."
"Let me guess. The Pinoy member won you over."
I smiled despite myself. "He's alright."
That made him chuckle again. "You looked like you were enjoying it, at least."
"I was. First concert i ever attended."
He blinked. "Seriously?"
"Swear."
He looked genuinely surprised.
"I wasn't allowed to have a life before, remember?" I said, teasing but not really joking.
Another beat of silence.
Then: "And now?"
I looked at him.
"At least now, I'm the one choosing who i want to be."
He nodded. "That's a good place to be in."
I stared at his face for a second longer than necessary.
He didn't look like a global idol tonight.
He looked... tired. Barefoot. Real.
Maybe that was what made him dangerous.
The ones who looked most human were often the ones easiest to fall for.
"I should go," I said, breaking the moment before it bent too far.
He stepped back. "Goodnight, Margaux."
My name in his mouth sounded different. Less sharp. Less scandalous.
"Goodnight, Sebastian."
I turned to go back inside.
But before i slid the door shut, I heard him say—
"For what it's worth... you don't look like someone who ran away."
And just like that, I felt the breath catch in my throat.
I didn't reply.
Not because i didn't want to.
But because for the first time in a long time...
I didn't have to.