Have you ever had a diary? I did a long time ago. I would be on and off and have terrible consistency with writing. I stopped for a while until I was 12. Diary format books were popular among my peers then, I also got into it and regained my desire to write a diary. I remember having fun with it, it was a place I could freely write anything without judgement.
I would bring it with me to school everyday. That... was until one day after coming back from the toilet, although they tried to arrange it like how I left it, I noticed that someone touched my things. You know Esmae, for a while I had suspects but no confirmation, that was until my suspects confirmed my suspicions themselves.
They were a group who would always target me, so when one day they insulted and made fun of me with information that I wrote in my diary, I knew for sure they were the ones. Since then I've stopped bringing my diary to school. I didn't know why it didn't occur to me that bullies can have no decency, I didn't know why I didn't think that they would bother my things. I felt that it was common basic human decency that everyone should be allowed privacy but apparently some people lack that.
The past is the past and its been a long time since then, I no longer write diaries nor do I see my self starting again in the near future. I've had thoughts of starting again but I procrastinate so much I doubt I'll be able to write consistently. In a distant future who knows what will happen, I might start writing a diary again.
Well, that experience lowered my already low trust in another person, now everything I let others know are things I'm not afraid to be used against me. Most people won't have have that impression of me, I'll bet even you Esmae don't see me as someone low in trust. I would like to trust you so if you truly stick with me until the end and don't abandon me, I would rejoice because I finally found someone that I could trust to keep my heart and not break it.