"Nkolika! Nkoli! Nkolika!" I am awaken by Mommy's loud call, I stretch over to my bed rest and reach for my phone and glance at the time, shit! It's twenty one past six, more late than usual but I know it's because I was watching some late night Gaddaflips, I was kinda an early morning person as long as the previous day wasn't tedious and for me, yesterday wasn't... More or less.
The Girls had eaten, we had fun, we played two truths and a lie, and talked about anything and everything under the Sun and later, we excorted Ifeoma home right before Mom and Dad came back. Chi's mom had come back earlier than usual for reasons best known to her and locked herself indoors and Chidera had to stay with me, we helped both sides around the house.
Chi's mom was a little down as I assumed and couldn't move a muscle so Chi had to eat with us and slept over in my room, Dad as always in the evenings was cooking, I could say he actually bullies Mom into allowing him do basic house chores especially if he had a free day then Mom would simply just dish out the food if she was home at that point in time and all of us including Dad would come grab a plate. He would sometimes get me or Chi to lead Mom away from the kitchen so he could comfortably cook, And other times when Mommy really actually wanted to cook, he sure was gonna be in that kitchen keeping her company. He called it 'doing everything he said he was gonna do since he was a kid.'
Sometimes we were enthusiastic about distracting Mom away from the kitchen partly because we understood her problematic upbringing. She grew up with her Grandma, my great Grandmother who emphasized the misogynistic age old belief that 'the kitchen was meant for Women' into her and worst of all, even if the Lady was weak and aching from bone to heart, she was still gonna carry her wheezled self and make sure she prepares a fresh sumptuous, delicious and delectable meal for her stupid husband emphasis on fresh and stupid, no matter how weak she was. And the best part of it all according to was that her useless Man could toss away the food if he didn't like it and she must provide another one even if she has to go borrow from others in the middle of the night. She loved emphasizing on this as she claimed her Grandmother always emphasized on.
Dad told me he had witnessed such back in his day even after all the Women suffrage movements. A night whereby one of his Aunt's Male neighbors' was busy tossing his wife's very food away breaking the plates in the process simply because the food, Óhà soup, was salty. He said she had kneeled down begging her husband to just manage the food even with his Aunt and other neighbors verifying she was a great cook as he had owned one of the biggest eateries in the estate which she had to close down for reasons best known to her. So she was pleading but this fool in the body of a Man, emphasis on fool refused to listen even threatening to slap her if she didn't get out of his sight. Dad said his Aunt had to provide ingredients for her to cook another dish in the middle of the night as it was. Dad further stated the next time the following year he went to visit, she lived in Ogidi, a town in the Anambra State, in present day Omambala province, she had died by suicide after consuming a bottle of rat poison after she caught her idiot, useless toddler of a husband cheating with a young girl on their matrimonial bed. He said that ndị Ụwéịwụ (the Police) immediately arrested him on the charge of pushing a person to commit suicide, there was a riot, protests and he didn't recall what happened from there.
He said he was young and couldn't do nothing, he only sat back, called on the Ancestors to be with him as he didn't repeat same shit and he only wrote. He showed me his old jottings, very old. I asked Mom about such riots back in her days which she verified its genuinity and when I asked if she was in support of the idiot Man unlike Dad, she, like one who didn't like what she was being 'compelled' to do but still did it anyways snubbed the ever living fuck outta me and as I always did, I had persisted with asking the questions, so she almost broke my head with the turning Garri she was using to stir the evening dish that night that Dad had gone on Prigimmage to Obior, Eze Chima's grave site. I understood that she had come back from a hefty day of work, almost to eleven in the early night and she was forced to cook for Chi and I because she didn't want us ordering take-outs, we both loved Jazzy's Burgers, Don Jazzy's burger brand. Not like she didn't, she just didn't like snacks and shit that wasn't real, cooked food... Apparently, her Nné taught her and now at that point in time she's so frustrated she won't let anyone talk to her or rather me because Chi still remained in the kitchen with her even after she chased me out. Chi's Mom, Nné (Mummy) Chimamanda was at a party in Abakaliki, I was busy viewing her status on Gaddaflip... 'Such a Mom,' my inner self said to me, I shoved it off. Let her have fun, we don't know her story. Let's not criticize.
But recently, thanks to Dad emphasizing that the kitchen was made for everyone irregardless of gender, age or class, Mom quit getting cranky about how Dad wasn't supposed to be in the kitchen or doing household chores... To me, such misogynistic mentalities were so utterly disgusting I couldn't even repeat it with a straight face... Gimme a moment to puke!
"Fuck the age old misogynistic nonsenses," Dad would say, "Like and I quote ' Number One, numero uno, Ọfụ ónụógụgụ, Women were made for the home, that's one o, the first shit, oya take another nonsense, a woman's life begins and ends in the kitchen, two, and I quote again, Men aren't meant for household chores, ónụógụ ịtó, number three, the third nonsense, Men are born leaders,' the fourth stupidity, Em, 'A Woman's only purpose is to stay home and give birth to kids and take care of them,' the fifth arrant nonsensical stupidity, emmm, is, ok, have this one, 'A man can cheat but a Lady can't cheat, because Men don't cheat with their hearts and emotions but Ladies cheat with their hearts and emotions, this particular one is one of the biggest bullshits I have heard all my life,' that's number Six, ónụógụgụ nké ịsịị, the sixth bullshit so far o, now number seven, ónụógụgụ ịsáá, 'Its a man's world,' that's Seven o, the seventh stupidity of the Patriarchy, oya wait for eight o, ónụógụ ịsátó, number eight, the eighth and fattest nonsensical stupidity straight from the intestine right off his smelly butthole, eight, 'Men are polygamous in nature but Ladies are monogamous in nature' that's the eighth bullshit o, the most useless bullshit that the Patriarchy uses to allow Men sleep around but the same shit is used to tell Ladies to stay with one Man, the same idiot that the system of Patriarchy permitted to go outside and cheat his Life value away."
"These and all sorts of other entire bunches of stupidity and nkóyélị, All these and all those other useless and degradatory, patriarchal and misogynistic, nonsensical and archaic beliefs are simply pure rubbish, arrant deceptive lies and utterly disgusting words! Imagine a Man sleeping with so many Ladies, some of these Ladies have allowed all these multiple idiots into their body in the name of ịnábátáónyéózó (sexual intercourse or copulation) but yet people claim that Ladies are monogamous in nature, twenty two Men could've slept with a Lady at various times in her lifetime and they too could've have slept with various other Ladies too in their lifetimes but please share with me how these Ladies they are sleeping with are monogamous in nature," He would usually laugh and continue, "Let's dwell on the case of sex workers, Lady or Male, by claiming that Ladies cheat with emotions they are also saying that Ladies have sex too with their emotions which if it's true then every Lady would have fallen in abject love with the first diddler she would have had sex with but of course not, Ladies are smart and like every other being in the Galaxy, they don't have just have sex with emotions because that phrase, belief or stupidity would easily be countered by simply looking to our very own sex workers across the world. They are majority Ladies and they don't fall in love with every fucktard they allow into their portal of life. Most Men have sex because they just wanna feel alright, Men too can also have sexy time... they can also have sex because they are in love which is an emotion God damnit, they can sex for love and for fun and if they like for business too. Same shit applies to Ladies and if it's doubted, we'll clearly look to the prostitutes, the sex workers, the jigolos, the players, they are people too, they're human beings too. And any wanker that claims otherwise but still go on to visit prostitutes even after insulting them should be awarded the same level of shame and insult they award the ones they patronize. Nné m, ndị Nné m, prostitutes are people too. Prostitution is as old as time, even older than marriage and definitely older than all sorts and forms of Religion because the institution of Marriage is older than the institutions of Religion. Anyways, prostitution should always be a last resort as it was for the people of old and the people currently practicing it today. Anyways..." Dad would say as we continued to come up in age. I mostly loved spending time with him, Chi enjoyed being Mom, to me, being with Mom was also fun because at the end of the day, I am a Lady after all and like Dad would always say, "Girls need Girls not Guys," so being with Mom did bring out my feminine energy and we actually did have fun, like real fun, not just learning fun like with Dad, with Dad though, it always felt like all learn and learn and learn, he didn't hide it, sometimes he may be like, "Ọbịnné yá, I sometimes think I'm the most boring person alive," I would simply smile, grab his thumb, look him in the eyes and reply, "Yeah Dad, I think so too," He would make to konk (knock) my head but I will simply make a run for it.
"See ónyé árá (mad person) wey I help Ozioma create?" He would say as I ran. But being with Dad, it didn't just help me be me but listening to him, I felt like I was changing the world or rather, I had what it takes to change the world.
Dad has actually written books about all he said he was going to do but he wasn't lucky to blow with them, everyone's luck wasn't same but at least he did almost everything he said he was going to do in those books and he kept on showing me evidence with his relationship with Mom and that's enough for me to know that Obinna Azubuike Nnememeka Nnemedozie Ozioma is not like other Men. Truly, unlike other Men, he didn't say it, he didn't need to, he never did, probably never will but he simply showed it.
He continues, "Knowing this, you must then understand that this is a new era, a new age especially for you and your generation my daughters. So let's leave those mentalities in the past okay? Infact, it shouldn't be a plea, it should be an order! From a girl to other girlies, it's time to create a new world, time for us all to project a new reality into the face of Mother Earth, the Matriarchy. So you shouldn't accommodate such patriarchal stupidities that have hurt everyone, both Ladies, especially Ladies and contrary to popular beliefs, Men too, infact, such shouldn't even spoken of in your presence, alright?"
He would say grasping me and most times Chi tightly as we would sit on his laps, we were younger then, barely eight and he was in all seriousness.
"All genders are meant for the home," He would continue, "All genders are meant for the kitchen, all genders are meant for homemaking, all genders are meant to chase the bag and acquire resources and all genders are meant to seek wealth, Ladies are the actual leaders not Men, I'll elaborate further later and all genders ABSOLUTELY deserve all forms of financial independence and sorts... all genders I say!" He would scream, "All minus none! Financial independence! Very important especially for our Ladies. So please, please and please my angels, don't let anyone, especially any stupid Guy or his overbearing misogynist Pick me Shah of a Mother or Patriarchy overlord of a Dad irrespective of status or class or her or his stupid grandparents' old and crooked misogynistic mentalities and ideologies of the past tell you Ladies otherwise, you hear me? Eh? Ụmụ m, ụnụ ánụgọ? (Have you heard, my children?)"
"Éé Nná ányị," I would say.
"Éééé," Chidera would add.
"Because," He continues, "I know how easily you Girls get blinded by love or any little spec of good quality you find in the first Guy you meet and believe me, it doesn't help. I have been there, I and especially one of my old childhood friends Nnedubem. At least, once they become a Lady, full blown at about thirty, fourty, fourty five going upwards or in the least twenty five years of age when a Girl should actually begin THINKING of marriage, not earlier o, if at all a Girl or a Lady should ever wanna get married, they should begin thinking about it at twenty five, twenty six moving upwards not twenty four or lower, not any age before twenty five. The Lady should be hustling and striving for success, yes, a Lady should be hustling and working, yes, striving for success not looking for how to cook all types of dishes in this Universe for any stupid Man out there or learning how to perfect doing any stupid type of house chore or homemaking nonsense because they personally may or may not have defined that or may or may not have had that defined out as the definition of success for them, Ladies.
Now lemme give you this, that definition of success if it has ever been given to them is actually stupidity wrapped in glitter. We must understand that at twenty and most times, even thirty sef an average guy is still chasing success and their definition of success is usually in two words FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE aka money and the supposed freedom it may or may not bring along and yes, at that age, an average Guy is not thinking about marriage so why should it be different for an average Lady who chooses to do so? Why should a Guy at those ages be expected to think about financial independence but a Lady at the same span of ages are then being expected to chase homemaking and other irrelevant stupidities. What's good for the Ézè is twice as good for the Ọbị, what's good for Okpala is equally good for Ada, what's good for the gander is good for the goose, Let's stop the old fashioned misogynistic nonsensical nonsensities of the old generations, c'mon! You're the new generation! Let's only take the good esoteric knowledges from our ancestors Lady and Male and let's discard the evil, stupid misogynistic and patriarchal ones, the future of Africa and the world at large depends on it," He would say. We were young, we were kids, we weren't thinking about anything or anyone but he never relented in teaching us, he would constantly repeat these words everyday of our lives even till now. Ok, here we are almost legal and mental adults and he's still quoting the same wisdoms. He always loves to say, "What you put in the mind of a child before the age of eight is what that kid is most likely gonna carry on for the very rest of their lives." So my nigga began teaching us all these from I would say about age four and even now at almost age sixteen, he still never relented.
Earlier then, I would look at him, smile and give him a hug in confusion, Chidera would too, probably. But now we were older, we were understanding him better and better and relating with him alot more because we were now actually seeing Men, understanding Men and truly, I can say, those creatures ain't shit, Men, they are shit, they ain't shit, anyway the English goes, you should get the point. Then and still now, I will will hug him, planting a kiss on his cheeks or forehead or I will simply stare at him a long while in admiration and pride. At least I can brag to my mates that my Father helps around the house, It was becoming more common place... Thankfully, I'm glad Dad, my Dad, my actual biological Dad was amongst the earliest train members.
I glance over at Chi still laying around like a log, her phone still replaying the same video on Gaddaflip from last night, she had obviously slept over her phone and her data abi na WiFi was going, we both did that at times though she more and she didn't always arrange my stuffs for me if she ever woke up and I was still sleeping but I sure did always do that for her. I carefully swipe the ngwá away, the app, I swipe down turning off her data and putting off her mobile, I put it away on the bedrest where I'm sure she won't knock it out of in her sleep. I then proceed from my bed to the restroom, I return soon after and sit right back down, I reach for my phone and was about moving to Gaddaflip when I hear mom screaming out my name at the top of her lungs which almost causes me to lose grip of my phone but for sheer luck. I, tightly clad in only my wrapper from top to bottom which I keep by my side through the night make a run for it, down the stairs missing a few on purpose, I'm still careful not to fall.
"Mummy, nnábịà," I call out in response and rush outside.
"Which one is that you're coming, where the fuck are you this girl?" I hear her call out but I was already outside.
With my barefoot on the ground I call out to the Mother Universe in my usual manner early in the mornings as I had learnt from the writings of some of the revolutionary voices: "Anị, ékénè m gị nnụkwụ Nné Ụwà nịnè, (Mother Earth, I greet you great Mother of all the universe), Mmụọ nó ná ọsịsị, èkénè m ụnụ nchá, (Spirits of the trees, I greet you all) Mmụọ nó ná nnụmanụ ná gà ná anị, ékénè m ụnụ nchá, (Spirits in the animals of the land, I greet you all) Mmụọ nó ná nnụmanụ ná éfè ná énụ, ékénè m ụnụ nchá, (Spirits in the animals of the air, I greet you all) Ịkụkụ n' ónwé yá, Ịkụkụ Nná m, ékéné m ngị, ónyé ọzị Nnéụwá, Ịfé n' égọsị anyị n'ázàgọ ékpélé ányị (The great breeze of the Universe herself, my Father Air, I greet you, the messenger of the Universe herself, the sign of the response to our prayers), Nné m, Nné ányị bụ Anyánwụ, nnụkwụ Ókụ Ụwà jị áfụ ụzọ, ékéné m ngị ézịgbọté Nné m, (my Mother, our Mother, the Sun, the great bright light of the Universe with which we see, I greet you my very good mother) Ndị nnụkwụ mmụọ Énụigwénánị (Nnéụwá) bụ Nné ányị, (great spirits of the Universe our Mother) nnákpótụlụ'nụ nchá, (I call upon you all), ékéné m ụnụ màkà tá'tá, (I thank you all for today), ọ́ga'dịlị ányị nchá ná mmá, (It shall be well with us all), ányị nchá nịnè g'éjé n'ụdọ bátá kwá n'ụdọ, (We will all go out in peace and come back in peace) Be with my Mom Ozioma nwá Ifeyinwa, keep her sane, keep her safe, guide and protect her for me, be with my dad Obinna Ozioma áwụọ (né) Bogwu, keep him safe, keep him sane, guide and protect him for me, be with Nné ányị bú Mama Chidera, keep her safe, keep her sane, guide and protect her for us, nónyélụ ézịgbọ ónyị m nwáànyị bụ Chidera Adaeze ámụlụ (áwụọ) Ugonabo bụ nwá Chimamanda nyà ná my new friend Adewunmi Precious Ifeoma what ever her Mother's name is, my beautiful river goddess, ényị m nkè ófụrụ, mmá yà dị kà nkè Ónyénnéọkémmịlị, (my new friend, her beauty is synonymous with one of the Mami Watas (Mermaids)) Mmá yà dịkà mmáwụ nkè ndị Ekpoma, (Her beauty is synonymous with the Ekpoma community masquerade)" I chuckle, "Keep them both sane and safe for me, guide and protect them both, my girls, my gees, my friends for a long while, dáàlụ nụ màkà fà ịbụọ, (thank you all for the both of them), keep all us together, Ase! Be with us all, guide and protect us all, nónyélụ ndị ezin'ụnọ m, ndị ézịgbọ ónyị nyá ná ndị n'échèlụ m échịchè ómà, (Be with my family, my good friends, and my well wishers) ányị nchá g'éjé n'ụdọ tá'tá bátá kwá n'ụdọ tá'tá, ógádịlị ányị nchá ná mmá, (We'll all go in peace today and come back in peace today, It shall be well with us all), ányị émé nlọzó échịchè ómà ányị n'échèlụ ọbọdọ àlà Àfrịkà nyà ná ọbọdọ àlà ndị Ówụwá ányị nké ányị fụ chá sị ná ányá, (We shall not forget the African dream, neither will we forget the good thoughts we think about our beloved Eastern nation for the Eastern people a nation which we love,) Ányị émé nlọzó échịchè ómà ányị n'échèlụ ọbọdọ àlà Ákébụlánụ, (We shall not forget the Alkebulan dream, the good thoughts which we think about the institution of Alkebulan,) Ìsééééééééééééééééé! (Amen, 'or most likely,' As we have said unto ourselves, so shall it be unto us all)"
"Ị́sééééé!" I hear from behind me, I touch the ground with my left hand and touch it on the bare skin of my chest and turn to Chidera.
"How far?" I respond to her with a thumbs up, I stretch out my hands for a fist bump which she responds to.
"Pound it," she says as we greet, I proceed to tap on the left side of my chest and let go in the air, "Ngozi aswear you're just built different," I laugh as I make my way inside, "You and this your secret symbol."
"Nnyà éh! Nné, I'm coming abeg, let me answer my Nné," She follows right behind me.
"Babe, today's school o, we don dey go late o," She says right behind me.
"I sabi na, let me just go and bath," I reply her just as we get to the kitchen where mom is.
"Baff wetin? I wonder what you wanna go baff for, bịkọ take my ATM card on the dining table and go get me a crate of eggs from Nzeogwu's ébéá, ịsị m bath, baff for what? I need just a single crate, it's nothing more than Nnéfé ịsịị ná ọfụ áyólá, six Nnefes and one Ayola, six Nnefes and one, ọfụ, ọfụ nkpụlụ Ayola o, not two, not three, one! Ọfụ mkpụlụ, nothing more, nothing less, no buying of ntáchálị ónụ, snacks, no snacks," Mom calls out. Nnefe is the Biafran currency, it's named after the Ìgbo name for large cowries Nwèfè, and Ayola is the smaller currency unit in Biafra, it's the name for the coin and its unit system, it's named after Áyólá, the Ìgbo name for small cowries.
"But Nné m na! It's just..." I protest.
"Even if it's still just ọfụ mkpụlụ Afrozx, one Afrozx converts for three Ayolas, Áyólá ịtó, cheap you may say, but all is still money being worked for, hard earned wealth..."
"Mummy naaaa! Stop being cheap, you're bigger than that na."
"Mmụà, cheap? It was the year two thousand abi two thousand and one in the State of Nigeria, fuel sold for twelve naira per litre, the crude oil ministry of the country implemented policies that tipped the price to just thirteen naira, the people went mad, they rioted, I was still a toddler, áká ná ékụ m ná' ká, my Mom would tell me, most Ladies couldn't go out because they had kids and the Men were simply not enough so it only got worse from there. That was when we learnt that we the new generation, Gen Z at that point in time, we understood that the only way we can actually riot against those in power, ndị Óchịchị, was simply for us to not have children till the nation was ok or a new nation had come all together. So, many of us did go on with it, we refused having kids till we had fixed the nation or destroyed the colonial mandate in the body of a country called Nigeria, Ákùkùnáhịjá."
"You know baby, we understood that the government worked hand in hand with the religious in pushing the next generation to become married and pushing those that were already married to quickly have children because they knew what we didn't know at that point time, they knew that if a Lady and a Man have even just as much as a dog at home talk more of an actual person like them, just one, ọfụ mkpụlụ, they won't ever want to come out, riot or protest so as to fix the nation and bring about a better nation or a new nation entirely. They knew that so they romanticized marriage and childbirth, in the churches, in the mosques on television, on social media, on the newspapers on the websites every where we went. That was the major prayer points in the religious houses, on social media, the FYPs were full of AI babies being cute and making you just wanna have sex and give birth tomorrow, they portrayed and romanticized romantic scenes of Love and marriage online, they did all these, they and our colonial Masters in the form of investors. The religious leaders and elders of the religious houses whom we well respected and reverred were all buddy buddy with the same old politicians that were repeatedly stealing and embezzling our resources and national funds. The religious leaders kept on taking more and more funds from the same old people the politicians were already stealing from in the name of taxes and unpaid wages and they called it tithes and offerings. These went on from days to days and weeks to weeks, from months to months and years to years till some of the people began to wake up from the colonial stupidity and entrapment. We watched in real time as people rose claiming to be our liberators in the name of freedom fighters singing, acting, writing and actually leading riots and protests but getting to the top and seeing what the same old fools were enjoying, they made excuses, left the people they claimed they were trying to liberate and sold their very souls to the same systems they were trying to fight. The ones who fought monsters eventually got absorbed into the shadows of the monsters they were tryna fight," I actually saw Mom tearing up abit. She had told me this before but it was so fun, I didn't mind hearing it again.
"Then what happened Mom?" Chidera asks resting on the wall right about behind me.
"As Africans always did, we continued to endure, some of the revolutionary voices rose and asked why we kept on enduring such stupidities? Others, mostly those who were benefitting from the silence and endurance of the common people commended our endurance. One of my younger brothers called it Stupidity wrapped in Glitter, enduring such level of stupidities. The Religious enforced and emphasized on us the people to continue enduring. Verses and scriptures about suffering and endurance like those of Paul, Peter and Jesus were occasionally repeated time and time again. We continued enduring. Foreign countries and organizations that were benefitting from the struggles and the sufferings of the common people continued to feed us distractions on social media, through the Religious and through the various institutions of learning. Those in power in our countries used the entertainers to continue distracting us. Actual entertainers that tried opening the eyes of the people were either dismissed as comedians, content creators or their content didn't get pushed and we continued enduring. People called out the religious for not doing nothing but only distracting the common people, stealing from them and leaving them impoverished and praying on their knees all the times but they were termed as antichrist, agents of the devil abi Satan or agents of the end times. And the religious whom the politicians hid under their shadows, the entertainers who kept the people distracted, the freedom fighters who had sold their souls and the actual politicians who were doing the looting and the stealing, they were applauded, celebrated and prayed for by the same people they were dealing with. And the people who called them out, they were labeled jealous, lazy, sinful, jobless youths and agents of the antichrist. And the common people who kept on fighting for those who were milking them dry, from the Christians to the Muslims to those who claimed to be for their ancestral wisdoms gịnị nwánụ, they kept on suffering because why?" She looked at us. Mom didn't always do this, with Dad, it was a regular but with Mom, she didn't like talking about this but today she actually chose to talk about it, it must be special. Chi and I actually climbed into the kitchen counter and sat down to listen.
"So when did the people wake up?" Chidera asked.
"It was the smallest spark..." Suddenly her phone rang.
"oOoOO oh, who's that fool na?" I call out. Chidera runs out to go get the phone from the parlor and I jump down the counter, " Wait o, Mum, is it because of small five kpá that you began telling us these your generation's revolutionary stories?" She smiles.
"It's a pretty good story na abi?"
"Mummy, it's someone called Kosisonnem ónyé transformer," Chi says.
"Ok leave it, I'll call her later."
"Éé Nné," Chi exits and I continue.
"Mummy na, for just five k?" I continue. "Mummy you pass am naa..."
She, still on the vegetable she's chopping snaps, "Thunder fire you there! Come, come, come, your generation have it soooo easy, when I was your age, you're fifteen... And you'll be sixteen in a few months, our currency back then converted to fifteen to sixteen hundred náhịrá (Naira) against ọfụ dóhólá, one dollar, just one," She signifies one with her óbélè mkpịsị (pinky finger) for emphasis, "One of the global currencies of the bully western countries, our neo-colonial powers back then and it didn't look like stopping or it was going down..."
"Nné ányị na (our Mummy na), you've told us that stuff like how many times now?" Chidera says.
"Nnyà éh! But then the revolutionary voices came along, they saw that the means with which the older agitators were enforcing and making use of was only doing more harm than bad so they, young and vibrant, knowledgeable and having learnt from the mistakes of the earlier ancestors proceeded to make use of diplomatic means, struck deals, yada, yada, yada, Ówụwá (the regions carved out by the Benue river) left, Iwo Okhobo (from Delta to Lagos, the regions carved out by the Niger river) followed suit and Ùgwù (the North; Arewa) made their way, today we're all happy, yada, yada, yada... Mom, can I get the stuff when I'm done buying them eggs and shit?"
"Nné," Mom calls at me mid business, "Dey play, just dey play," She moves around the kitchen doing stuff, "Baby," she called for Chidera, she usually called me Ada and I wondered why.
"Yes Mom," Chi answered, she arises from the stool she sat observing, listening as she always does.
"Go get me the eggs, ósịsó!" Mom orders.
"Commander in chief!" I hype her, "Ọbị ndị Ọbị! (Queen of Queens!) Ọbị ndị Ịgwè nịné. (Queen of all royalty.)"
"Ákíkó! Ehen, Ọbị ndị Ézè (Queen of Kings) tụbè m yá nụ, Abegi, Baby," She calls at Chi, "Get yourself anything you want," I stand mouth agape, Chi runs to hug her and kisses her on the cheeks, "Under six k o, don't bankrupt me abeg," Mom says not even glancing at my direction, Chi tightens her grip on her.
"Ahhhh! Nné m you adopted me, nothing you wan tell me again, where are my bags, infact..." I exclaim for dad, "Daaaaaaaddi! You never told me I was adopted! Mummy adopted me! Mummy, where's the orphanage, I wanna go back, it's better for me there..."
"Ákíkó!" Mom exclaims, "Ịkósịá ịzụé ịkè."
"See werey o!" Chidera remarks.
"Rápụ yá nụ," Mom says signaling on Chi to release her, "Ókósịá, ómé gịnị?"
Chidera replies, "Ọzụé ịké!"
"Ófụmá nụ! Ada, Months ago, ná ónwà kédụ m áfá yá? Ónwà Lumumba, you asked me for a phone which when we search it up on Gaddaflip, it said three hundred Nnefes, last week on Orie, I got a debit alert of five thousand three hundred Nnefes and two Ayolas, I know the two Ayolas is the charge, you went to Mgbeke's POS, that girl across the street abi? Am I right or am I right?"
I smile as I usually did anytime I was caught, she smiled too, "But Mummy na! Nné m..."
"Jịlị nwáyóó just there Ada!" Mummy shuts me up, she holds unto Chi like the proud Mother of an Olympic gold medalist. Chi sticks her pink tongue out at me, werey! "Did I say anything? No! Have you changed your phone? Yes, Do I used to give you allowances? Yes, you and her abi? Lemme answer, Yes! Does your Dad do so too? Yes and her Mom gives her allowances too, sooooo, as you have chop my money... Éwọ, this hot water have boil o, Chidera ngwá ngwá ooooo" She puts off the burner, calling on Chi to go on the errand quickly but still grasping her elbow tight on the neck... More or less.
She continues, "Yes Nné m, so will I privilege her with the same amount of money you stole..."
"Mummy, it's not..."
"Haba! Sounds like freedom to me, and not the western kind. Look, we all did this typa shit back then, sometimes we were caught, sometimes we were not, in our mind, it's not stealing if it's our Mummy and Daddy's money, Aunty, Uncle, Guardian (Ágbónáéché), we draw the line, Mum and Dad, it's our own, we still made sure we were never caught but now we're all grown ups, we have kids... Few of us though, at least I said I was gonna have and I did, some of my friends in the firm don't, like sixth percent of them, anyways, now we have kids, most times against our... Forget," I squint my eyes at the latter, "We have kids that are doing the same shit to us and now we realize that back then, we were stealing, you guys are doing the same stuff, taking what doesn't belong to you aka Stealing!"
"Mummy naaaa, what's mine is mine, what yours is mine, Chi abi?" She shrugs.
"Last I checked, that only applies to the relationship between a Lady and her Man," she says, "Chidera go na!"
"Oya let's go again, Mummy naaaa, what's mine is yours, what yours is mine," She eyes me up.
"Kịtị... Kịtị...Kịtịkpá láchá gị ónụ ébé áhù!" Mum thunders at me, "Má óbụlụ ọfụ Nné m nnụkwụ bụ Nnembuogu her Mother whom I didn't meet obviously but of course heard alot about from your Grandma, my Mom Ifeyinwa, anyways so the bottom line is... Baby look at time na, go and buy the stuff na!" Mom turns to Chi.
She replies in smiles, "Mummy you're the one holding me na!"
Mom stops ranting and realizes, she's right, "Oh, sorry!" Letting go, she orders, "Now, go! N'éfè'fé! (Fly!)" She snaps at the door and Chi swiftly moves to the dining room to look for the ATM card.
"Mummy naaaa, no fair o!" I say as she turns to me.
"Werey! Ngává érụ gị mmịlị ókụ á sụlụ ásụ! (I'll soon pour you this boiled, steaming hot water!)" She replies.
"Mommy, I said it, you don't love..."
"Shut up! Ada, méchịgọdụ ónụ, it's ok abeg, I'll soon be running late, em, when you bought what ever you bought..."
"Ụwè étịtị ịbụọ naaa, two jumbo packs..." I reply.
"Not sure I wanted the full details but ok, I can't believe I've actually lost count, I have been so busy at work, I have had this case that'as been lingering for over fourteen months..."
"A year and a month now?" I ask.
"Yes, yesterday began the second month and... Ahhhh!" She screams trying to let her frustrations out, I grasp her palm.
"Mum, it's gonna be ok!" She pulls me into a hug, "I love you Onime (my Mother), my super Woman, she tightens her grip on me.
"I love you too Princess, Ádàézè m," She plants a kiss on my forehead.
As she releases me, I realize Chi standing at the door taking pictures, "Couple goooooals!"
Mum hisses, "Ụnụ nábọ eh!" She smiles.
"See werey, no, no, no, no, just see werey! We resemble couple for your retina?" She laughs, "Book you no know, Mother and daughter you dey shout couple..."
"For your information, you think say I no know book, for your info, couple is a group of two, two people are a couple or duo, three is a trio, four is a quad, five is a star and six upwards is a crowd," She was right but I wasn't gonna go down that easy, a quick glance at Mom who was equally looking at me giving me the 'I told you so' look for whatever reason. Girl, told me what?
As we all stand in the kitchen, Dad comes downstairs casually clad in his ịsịágụ, Mgbá ọnụ ná Mgbá'ká (traditional red neck and hand beads) and a neatly pressed black cotton trouser, ọkpụ mmé (a traditional red cap for Ìgbo title holders) nwé ábụbá ụgọ dị óchá (with a white feather by the side) nyá ná ákpụkwụ árụánụ ágbá ọjịị áfó dị ná ánị. (and a black leather sandals with a flat sole.)
"Ah! ndị Nné m, ndị ịsị, Chi baby baby, Nkolika nwà Nsukka," We all laugh as we always do whenever he calls us that, "Why are you Ladies not yet ready for school by..." He glances at his wrist, "By to seven?" He calls out midway down the stairs.
"Nná ányị (our Daddy), good morning Nná (sir)!" We all chorus as I wave and Chidera does a slight curtsy, he bows as he unconsciously always does for Ladies, in response to us.
"Ehen my babies... Chidera I thought I told you to always stand erect when greeting anyone, please, very important, very, very important, bịkọ leave ndị Ọyịbọ (Foreigners) ndị colonizers and their yeye thinking abeg... it's well... Ehen, hope you Girls were not still busy watching those TikToks on a school night even after I had warned you?"
"Gaddaflips," I call out, he turns to me, "Dad, it's Gaddaflip, we're in the age of the African social media, so it's Gaddaflip."
"Oooooo, sorry ma, her royal Majesty, Ọbị Nkolika Ngozichi Obinne nké ịzịzị (the first) nwá Ozioma, I will never repeat such mistakes again o? Ónyé nkụzị ányị (Our Teacher), Osagyefo Mwalimu (Teacher or PhD Doctor) Nkrumah of Ghana," He replies with a mock bow.
"Good student!" I reply shaking his hands.
"See... See... See werey, na your Papa you dey follow talk o," Chidera points out the obvious.
"Don't mind her," Dad replies with a hiss.
"Yeah genius, I didn't know," I say to her. She sticks out her tongue at me, "Werey!" She extends it.
"Babe, I just wanted them to go get a crate of eggs from Nzeogwu's, sorry about the late delay," Mom says poking her head out from the kitchen, she felt the need to step in for us because Dad had come to warn us and she did too. She usually was the strict one but Dad didn't really like not being listened to though, he didn't always take it well.
Dad chuckles shaking his head, "Ọbị m, my queen, no need to really stress yourself, didn't you inform me you have a court case today abi? You for leave am, I go just whip something up for me and the girls," He approaches her and grabbing her by the waist, he pulls her closer to himself giving her one of the most romantic kisses I had ever seen... Yuck!
"Awwwwwn!" Chidera murmurs and I eye her up.
"Ehem!" I create a distraction, "Attention, you have a room, it's twice our own!" I murmur just enough for them both to hear.
"Na why I been no want pikin..." Mom jabs him in the stomach cautioning him to shut the fuck up. Too late my lady, Ìyọm m, ịgbụlụ ógè (you wasted time).
"Oooookkkk, I talk am, I talk am say two of una no love us."
"Asin eh!" Chi adds and Mom eye us up.
Chidera hisses in agreement. Dad is dabbing at Mom's hair in the process, hands still in place, she stands aput looking up into Dad's eyes... Ndéwọ nú ooo, Lovebirds, ụmụ nnụnụ ịfụnányá, you have kids o, ụnụ nwé kwó ụmụ o, ó kànkụálụ ụnụ mgbịlịgbá? make I jiggle, ring bell for una? What happened to the era of the kids are watching?
"Babe rest joor!" Mom continues to him, her hands were casually placed on his... Should I say rock hard...? Probably not, on his chest, yeah, on his chest, they're not rock hard, "Stop that kain rubbish abeg, it's nothing, my Mom, Ifeyinwa did that and her Mom, Nnenenyedu did it so it's nothing to me... Besides I believe you have a meeting with some would be top investors abi na producers from Alkebulan, Nnémmádụnchà, that's clearly more impo..." I scoff and Dad chuckles... again, he looks disappointed in Mom but not surprised, we were all used to this, Mom returns to the gas and Dad shrugs, he makes to spank... "Babe, the kids are watching," Mom says as if knowing what he's about to do.
I quietly step aside about to go do something else with my life when I hear... "Kids kwá, where? I see no kids and besides Ngozi has brought how many girls into this house," I poke my head back just enough for them to see me and as quickly, I guide. Nná m o! Daaaaddi m o! You lie! Daddy, me, as how na? Me, GIRLS, when? As how naaaa?
"Brooo, give it a rest, they'll soon be on holiday at Ekpoma and we'll have the house to ourselves..."
"That'll be in like three months Girl and even at that, it'll only be for two months, that's no fun," I peep again, she turns to look at him taking hold of his palms.
"Babe, it's ok, maybe in the next life and we're together again, maybe then you'll consider not succumbing to the pressure of society and yourself and actually not releasing any of your mmịlịndụ (sperm) when you clearly know that all my mkpákóndụ wanted at that point in time was to accept and nurture any water of life she could find, so next time you can actually learn to pull out so we don't have kids to disturb our young lives ever again... Since that's what you Ákọ m chó (my Mister wants), since that's what you, Ọkọ m ná ụnó á (my Man of the house) wants," She says tapping his chest and reaching for the onions below the counter.
Ouch! As much as I have been referred to as unwanted in more ways than one... today! They were right, I myself didn't wanna have any kids because asides continuation of lineages and increasing the populations of the nations, kids were practically... no! I won't say useless because I was once a kid and to be truthful to myself, I still am, but all in all, Mom's obviously right.
"Besides, our generation did what we said we were gonna do, after years of hardwork, the revolution is complete, now we can have the kids, the country is ok, it's upcoming, we're still building but finally we can have kids and more or less, we both chose to and now we have that one that behaves like you,"
"But she looks like you na..."
"And those two mistakes..."
"Oya Nné be calming down. Ok see, I miss our fun times in the kitchen..." Mom was chopping the onions, nyábásị, Dad proceeded to make more advances at her, moving his body everywhere and anywhere, Mom agressively began chopping on the onions, hitting the ceramic plate in the process. No one needed to tell him twice, he remembered his creed, Ladies first and ran out of the kitchen almost bumping into me.
"How much... Of that did you see and, and hear?",
"Everything Dad, that was cringe as fuck, pretty cringe guessing from the fact that that's probably how you helped Mom make me, real weird, real real weird, but hey! I have nothing against a real Lady centered feminist whom loves his Lady dearly and deeply, keep it up old Man," I say tapping his chest, he looks at the spot and back at me.
"I'm barely thirty five," He says.
"I know you're lying..." He laughs.
"Can you prove it?"
"Don't worry, I'll catch you two one day," He laughs some more and Mom chuckles from the kitchen.
"Ákíkó, you wanna catch," He laughs, "Agba fishers of Men," He and Mom laughs in sync at me.
"Yeah, old Man, grand, old, old, Man," I tease, "Just get one of the Boys at school to... you know, ehem!" I clear my throat, "And you'll be a proud old Grandpa at thirty six, so you say, e go enter records," This Guy, he may look young, Mom actually looks much much younger but I knew these two were older than they said they were, I just couldn't prove it.
The last joke doesn't sit right with him, he clenches one fist and with the fingers of the other cracks its knuckles individually, "Hope none of the guys in school are senge mengering with you?"
"Eww! Daaad! No!" I call out in disgust.
He understands, "Yeah, right, sorry, my bad, just to be safe, may blood no flow, kà óbálá nyálụ ịpásáá."
"Bịkọ, ịkwụ zị kwá ná ụdị'fá nwụ ózó, óná s'áfó, óná lụ áfó.(Please, don't ever say such words again, it's nauseating, it's stomach churning.)"
"Well Princess," He grabs me by the midriffs pulling me closer to him, "That which disgusts you is the dominating order of the day, unfortunately for the queer community, we must simply tell ourselves the truth. So you my Queen..." Mom scoffs, clearing her throat from the kitchen and Dad smiles, "You my Princess," He waits for anything from Mom, he gets none and continues, "So yeah you, must tolerate us as we have learnt to tolerate you guys after centuries of hatred and stupidity on our part, now people learn things, people evolve, people adapt, people accommodate and you must do so too, besides reproduction there's no other special something, no unique something in a Lady and a Guy relationship, it's not more special than the Lesbians and the Gays because the only thing the Nnéfụrụnwáányịnányá (Lesbian), Ọkọfụrụnwọkénányá (Gay), Mgbọágbónáọkọ (Bisexual), Árụózó (Transgender), Nghótà (Queer), community, ndị NỌMÁN (the Queer community) mó the LGBTQ community or simply ndị nwé Nghótà, (those who are Queer) and the Straight community, ndị Ágbó ná Ọkọ, have in common is that they seek companionship and anybody can bring you that as long as you both are on board, you absolutely don't need anyone else's opinions especially society, ok? Like a guy I follow online when we used TikTok, Kyle talks is his account name, he's a black Guy from the States, he once said back then when we were quite younger, 'Hey, it's Pride month, and I'm just here to say, you do not need Christianity's or indeed any other Religion's permission to love who you wanna love,' hesaid, 'my only advice is that you love them the exact same way that you wanna be loved.' And that's what I wanna pass onto you my Princess, Love them the very exact way that you wanna be loved. So yeah... Now, the difference is that the LGBTQ, or rather the Queer community cannot give birth unless they seek medical help aka IVF or they go manual which can be hard, seeking a carrier that's accepting enough to donate sperm or to carry the baby for them, ngwọ ngwọ ná ngwọ́ ngwọ..."
́"Nowadays the members of the community can do all that by themselves without help from outsiders," I add.
"Well, you're right," Dad says pulling me closer. Chi enters almost immediately with the crate of eggs, we shift a bit to give her way of passage, "Careful baby," Dad says to her.
"Break it o!" I call out.
"Ọkpọ!" She replies, sticking her tongue out at me.
"You know it's funny..." Dad continues as she enters the kitchen.
"What?" I ask. We were seriously gonna be late today, but hey, we're prefects I guess, not an excuse I know but hey, seniors!
"Ask your Mom, back in our time, we couldn't discuss matters like this as casually as can now, we couldn't even talk to our parents as casually as we let you guys talk to us."
Mom chuckles, "We could though, I believe you're talking about the generation before our own," She replies.
"Yes, yes, yes, you're correct," He says and continues, "Now as you've clearly heard, there was a time the Queer community couldn't openly talk about themselves, Ọbị m, ọrịá? (Isn't it true my Queen?)" He inquires from Mom.
She chuckles again, "You're right I guess," She then proceeds to say something about spoiling children.
Mom could be a killjoy sometimes.
As Chi approaches us from the kitchen, Dad winks at us and begins heading up the stairs again and I follow suit while Chi keeps the money on the counter, she more or less seems clueless of the current happenings.
We hear some noise from the outside, like a door opening up, "Chidera, go and check who's that?" Dad calls out.
"Dad, it's my Mom, she's just coming back..."
Dad hisses and Mom asks, "She didn't sleep here yesterday?" Chidera shakes her head in response.
"Again?" Mom asks.
"Babe leave that one, she's the story for another day, I don't even know where to begin with her story..." Dad says.
"It's well," Mom calls out. Chidera hisses, maybe in shame, maybe not, I don't know but I just grab her palm and pull her closer to me. Just my own little way of saying, 'Babe, I gotchu and you know it.'
Anyways sha, to me, Mom was better than Grandma, her Mom, Grandma Ifeyinwa who seems to believe that a Lady's sole mission in this Universe was to suffer and struggle for a Man and indeed for everyone around her and when she died she would get some hypothetical reward in some hypothetical place called heaven abi wetin again... Abegi!
"God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers," and stupid shit like that. Her words not mine. Obviously these can never be my words, these words reek patriarchal and misogynistically religious brainwashing. The point is she used such words as I heard to justify all the trials and tribulations she went through in the hands of her smelly ass husband. Disgusting.
"Ngwá nụnụ Ádá Nné yá," Dad calls out as we on the stairs. I quickly follow suit.
When we get to their room, we had left Chi with Mom in the kitchen, "You know the drills na," He continues, "Hold the door for me while I pick out some outfits for your Mom, she'll probably override my efforts but at least God knows I tried my best," Dad says as we touch down their shared room.
"Aswear!" I say then I mutter under my breath, "At least the Universe, our Mother knows," Dad stares at me like he heard what I said, no wahl sha.
"Also get her cold bathing water the weather is a bit hot, get out her body, hair and face towels and arrange all her skin care products neatly on the table, if you're not aware of any just ask me ịnụgọ? You know as e dey be na?" I nod in response and move to help out.
Mom believed in the age old patriarchal, misogynistic beliefs that ladies were appendages, lesser than men and what not, the same beliefs she got from her mom, whose Mom got from her Mom, whose Mom got from her Mom, and it goes on and on down the rabbit hole of genealogy, she wasn't like them but between her own personal beliefs and the church and she believes in the Christian religious supreme being so she follows word for the hypothetical doctrines of his institutions which of course are obviously very Male centered, so she basically threw out her own beliefs which guided her since youth and brought her close to my Dad, bonding them to each other because of her religion... It's well sha, maybe you really can't unlearn after forty and she's almost thirty six.
Dad was on a mission to change that, as he said he was obviously told the same shit but he personally decided that "Hell no! Wait up! This shit ain't right," And he was definitely going to do shit about it so he decided it was going to start with him, he had wanted both Daughters and Sons though, he would say, Sons to educate so he won't have to protect his Daughters or other people's Daughters and Daughters to educate on being themselves, carrying, caring and protecting themselves against predatory Men and in general being financially and emotionally independent from Men especially as at when due... Especially Men who didn't want to accept, respect and coexist with the divine feminine energy which gave us life... And stuffs like that but he wasn't mad when the Universe or according to him, God, gave him Daughters only.
If not that his personal doctrines dictated him to honor and respect Ladies no matter what but with sense of course, he would've not been very chill with Mom I noticed. Funny couple, Mom was Male centered, Dad was Lady centered... It was pure comedy! Romantic comedy! Nsọgbụ ádịrọ, Better problem no dey sha.
Which was the reason why for somebody that was a loud preacher and advocate for the age of aquarius he sure still followed, coexisted and dwelled among Christendom and accommodated other forms of the Abrahamic religions in his circle but I sure did notice he wasn't a staunch follower though.
"You know when I was much younger about eighteen, nineteen or mental age twenty or so, I had decided I wasn't gonna be going to or entertaining any form of Religion no more or follow any form of Religion you get? Like I was a radical, a leftist liberal of some sort and I was keen on those my beliefs I swear but then I met your Mom who was a tad bit too religious like I kinda suspected my future partner would be, you know all these kinda I have accepted Jesus because I don't wanna burn in hell and shit..."
"That's basically Christianity for you and the other one, they claim to worship a God and that's true, they do worship a God, they do, his name is fear, they always worship at the feet and at the altar of fear..."
Aswearr, that kain thing, and yes, a lawyer, I knew she would be a lawyer and I met a lawyer but luckily for me and us, she wasn't a fanatic Religious, those were the worst kind of Religious people, I must admit."
"But I must also admit though," He continues, "That my major mistake was trying to force people to follow my beliefs, I was once a Christian, a religious person but when I left the cult called Religion I was still holding onto its ways, trying to convert people to my ways, trying to be imperialistic in my ways, being expansionistic in my doings, trying to change people's mind from their way of life to mine and claiming that mine was better. That is religious stuff, in our African Spirituality, Ngházịmmụọ Ánịnné ányị, we don't subscribe to such stupidity, infact, Nnéụwá our Mother didn't call for such, she frowns upon such but I didn't know, I was still learning. It was when I met your Mom, Ozioma that I began to change most of my imperialist and expansionist beliefs and ideosyncracies I had inherited from the cult in which I was born into, she didn't permit such because she would always frown upon me when I did such, we were much younger then, I was about turning twenty and she was already... You know the age," He said with a wink. I frowned at him, eyeing him up. Pedo! Pdf file. I wasn't sure though cos these two didn't wanna tell me their exact ages for some reason.
"It's funny that fast forward some years later I'm practically still an atheist because..." He laughs, "That's the way society still looks at people that are into our African Spiritualities, anyways your Mother, she's actually still the same semi dedicated church Girl I had met in a learning center. I rubbed off on her and she did more on me, you know iron sharpening iron kinda stuff you know, she's the tougher iron, I must confess. And then there's you, her kid, our kid," I then murmurs , 'How the hell did we make that kinda mistake how many years ago?' I glance at him, it wouldn't be the first, I'm here and there's absolutely nothing they can do about it, sucks for them and of course they love me, them get liver no love me? May Amadioha stone them bathroom slippers. Besides, it's stated in our constitution that once the kid leaves the Mom's body, the Mother can no longer do away with that kid unless the court of law says otherwise or any other unforseen circumstances yada, yada, yada and the Father, it's deeply embedded in our constitution that as long as the seed which is his own more or less has been planted and accepted in the ever sacred womb of the Lady, she's the one doing the accepting, she's the one who's actually doing the most work and not the Man contrary to popular beliefs, so the idiot Man can never walk away, he's tied there for ever and if he does try to walk away and he's ever caught, that's a death sentence for him. It's in there in our constitution, picture me laughing now I am, big, big beautiful rule by the way and get this, only the pregnant Mom that's carrying the entity which is not yet a person so it can't have rights, it's still surviving and leashing off the Mother who is the actual living, breathing being, the thing should not and actually has no rights as it is still in the womb, surviving through the Mother, so only her the Mother has the right to say whether the kid will get aborted or not, because it's surviving solely because of her the Mother, so not even the government has a say on Woman's body talk more of the Man who may or may not be irresponsible, he probably is or any other wanker in the name of family or relation none of them has that privilege talk more of an outsider from just about anywhere, no,no, no, Only the Mother, the Woman, the one carrying the baby that has a right, a say or an opinion about the baby and her own body because it's her body and that baby is surviving and thriving thanks to her hardwork, her the Woman, so that's our country and her constitution for you. I laugh again. Big, big beautiful rule.
Dad laughs thinking I'm laughing with him, "You my Princess, you're an African high spiritualist... African spiritual high culture? African high spirituality?" Dad inquires.
I smile still grabbing hold of him and looking up, I further nod in agreement, "You're correct for all Nná (Sir)," We smile and he continues, "I see you talking to the Ancestors and the Universe from time to time right...?" I stare at him in shock. He smiles almost proudly and I calm down a bit. "Right? C'mon baby cub, that's what you were doing right?" Still smiling he inquires coming closer, "That's what you're up to..." He squints, "Right?"
"Ye... Yes sir," I stammer, Dad finally breaks into a little laughter, he pulls me into a huge bear hug.
"Just know Daddy's proud of you my lil Universe, I know you'll make me more proud one day, but that's not how to do it though, sha according to our Ìgbo styles, I myself has not perfected the Ìgbo Óménàlà version but I'll teach you the little that I know because I understand that we live and we learn, you can never know it all, we keep on learning and evolving ok?" He says, I nod and he continues, "First of all, in Óménàlà, we call on our Chi first thing in the morning before anything with our gin and kola, ịbó Chị gị (greeting your Chi) or ịgó ófó (talking to your Chi or Ancestors), Now our Chi is not the Mother Universe, though it can actually be because the Mother Universe is in you not outside of you, you are the Universe, you are your Chi, your Chi is you, you are your Ancestors, reincarnation and you are the Universe, so her, that voice inside of you, she who only speaks to you in silence not now that me and you are talking, she's your consciousness, that voice that's speaking to you as you're listening to me, that voice that this person reading this thing is using to read this thing I'm telling you now, 'hey girl, she heard us,' that voice, is the person's Chi, it's your Chi, your consciousness. Science calls her our conscience, or inner voice. Critical thinkers call her our Higher self, our divine consciousness and others. The religious claim she's either of their various Gods or prophets speaking to them and yada, yada, yada, ndị Óménàlà says she's our Chi. Most African Spiritualities say she's the Mother Universe, Nnéụwá, whatever we claim it to be, we all argue about her name but we all agree on her existence, the voice in our heads and to me, that's a very beautiful and sexy thing."
"Science and other related studies will call our African Spiritualities a Religion... It's not, Africa had no Religion pre colonialism, pre the coming of the invaders, before the coming of various missionaries of the various present day Religions and before the coming of the colonial idiots, we only had and still do have our various individual and communal spiritual systems, the wisdoms our Ancestors taught us aka our Spiritualities, but today those that know and understand bound together and connect as one through our Spiritualities, though still individual in nature because we all have individual Ancestors, individual Chi's and we are born under the jurisdictions of different, separate elements of the Mother Universe, the preserver of Life right?" I nod, "Some are born under Fire, Èké, some Water, Ọrịé, some are Earth, Áfọr and others are Air, Nkwó."
"But we all still bound together communally against a new and common formidable evil and mental enemy, we call him Mental slavery, Mental colonialism, mental invasion, it all begins in the mind, capture the mind, it's over. In our Africa, the Motherland, we were and we still are Spiritualists, we follow the wisdoms our various Ancestors taught us... But they would call it a Religion, it's not! Like in a place like our Africa now, the religious, the actual black, maybe white but pure blooded Africans with direct ancestry to the Motherland and a black Mother can't claim that in following their various Religions which obviously doesn't belong to them they are following the words of their pre colonial ncestors because the Bible figures in the Bible are no African's direct Ancestor in anyway. All the Bible figures are either Palestinian, or any other Middle Eastern. In the book, the Egyptians and Ethiopians are the villains except the Ethiopian guy who helped the Bible guy called Jesus carry his cross ok? In the Quran, they are all Arabs, nothing in the Bible or Quran concern Africans positively so we cannot claim we're following the ways of our precololonial Ancestors. In these books no Africans are the heroes, no Africans are special, no Africans at least the ones killing themselves for these Religions are mentioned anywhere. I love to emphasize on Islam, Islam is Arabian culture, everything about the Religion is Arab so when the Arabs are practicing their own culture and traditions that they have made a Religion it's gonna benefit them. When they spend good money going to the holy land to pray they know that money is still coming back to them and same goes for white and Middle Eastern Christians and News going to Palestine now called Israel to pray on the rock the Israelis consider spending good money in the process, they know that it's still gonna come back to them in one way or another. And get this, they are actually honoring their own personal and actual Ancestors, they are furthermore following, dwelling and uplifting their customs, cultures and traditions."
"But when an average African abandons the ways of their precololonial Ancestors, their precololonial customs, traditions and cultures and begin following, dwelling and uplifting another's way of Life in the name or shape of Religion you'll begin to find out that no matter how economically free they seem, how liberated they look, so long as their spiritual systems are rooted in the ways of people that are not their own, in the cultures of other people, they'll always answer to those people who own that culture no matter how small and insignificant those people are and how large the followers are.
"Dad, elaborate further," I say as we grab a seat on the bed.
"Ok look Ada, let's say Ọbọdọ Ibekwe is small and tiny but Ọbọdọ Chiwendu is large and Mighty and something happens Ọbọdọ Ézèọrị the smallest of them all becomes poor and seeks for a means to acquire wealth, ok?" I nod, "The leaders of Ézèọrị and the leaders of Ibekwe are friends but they don't show it, they understand they need to get rich as quick as possible and the only way to get that quick wealth is to take from Chiwendu community who doesn't need anybody from the outside world, they are satisfied with what they have because they have everything they need at home and has actually gone outside, seen the wealth of the others, acquired the few wisdoms they can and have come home."
"They have all they need at home?" I ask.
"They have all they need at home baby. So the Ézèọrị and Ibekwe leaders discuss amongst themselves how to take the wealth of Chiwendu. They understand that Ézèọrị doesn't even have as much as Ibekwe but Ibekwe has much more than them but not near Chiwendu community so they don't plan on taking from each other just yet. They strategize how to go take over the wealth of Chiwendu. Ibekwe members go first and using their own culture which they have because only Ibekwe and Chiwendu actually have cultures, Ézèọrị doesn't even have resources talk more of culture, Ibekwe uses that culture to claim half the members of Chiwendu making them extensively eradicate their own culture almost to the very last point of no return," I nod in understanding, Ézèọrị members come to claim the rest using a culture they borrowed from a fourth community, I'll say Jisike community but they don't do a good job in the eradication of culture because it is what it is. So now that the mind of the people have been successfully captured because first Ézèọrị came with play and jokes then whips and finally guns. Ibekwe came with swords and what not, the funny thing is that years later, an Ézèọrị led council will have the leaders of Chiwendu sign documents and contracts that won't allow the Children of Chiwendu or their leaders to carry the same weapons and machines that these invaders used on her children, and the leaders foolishly signed it because they couldn't wait to continue borrowing their very own wealth from their own lands from the invaders, these invaders eventually put these leaders of the children of Chiwendu in their back pockets and these leaders have to take permission from the invaders to pluck their own Mother's Orange and Pawpaw from their own Mother's Land," I shake my head to show understanding, "Eventually Ézèọrị as small as they are manage to overpower Ibekwe but not entirely driving them out of Chiwendu. Ibekwe gets to keep his culture in her land and have people that will enrich them through that culture, Ézèọrị has a location of the stolen culture from Jisike in their land but also joins forces with Jisike community to keep the Chiwendu community coming to the various lands of the three and enriching them in the name of work, holidays and honoring of the cultures that are not even their own."
"Years later the Daughters and Sons of Chiwendu community begin to speak up and eventually manage to drive out the members of Ézèọrị community but Ézèọrị in collaboration with Jisike community and Ibekwe's community come back through the back door in the version of money doublers and continue deceiving the Chiwendu people using leaders whom they Ézèọrị elected by themselves, leaders they know only care about themselves and their families alone and not the common people, Jisike and Ibekwe however continue telling the Chiwendu people that their cultures are the best and that the Chiwendu culture is evil and against the wishes of the Gods of Ibekwe and Jisike communities."
"And Ézèọrị with the help of Ibekwe and Jisike has made sure that the descendants of Chiwendu hates their culture, themselves and everything else about their lands. Ézèọrị community keeps taking from their lands and sharing with Ibekwe and Jisike so long as they both tell the Chiwendu people that when they die they'll be rewarded for enduring all that Ézèọrị has put them through."
"Soon, they don't need to do anything again because the members of Chiwendu community themselves begin embedding themselves with the cultures of the outsiders, the invaders. And the children of Chiwendu community who dare speak about the Chiwendu culture are called evil and demonic. The Chiwendu people now hate themselves, their faces, skin colors , noses and hairs and now believe that everything Ézèọrị has and is and everything they do is the best and they strive to be like Ézèọrị in all they do. Right before Chiwendu's eyes, Ézèọrị, Jisike and Ibekwe become twice as rich as her off her own wealth and people resources because they have Daughters and Sons of Chiwendu in these three communities working for them and enriching them," I lie on the bed and he lies beside me.
"Now get this, Ézèọrị has successfully divided Chiwendu into many peoples against their will, remember Chiwendu is the richest and the biggest community. Ok, now from time to time to time, various children of Chiwendu are fighting themselves for who has the best culture from either of the three mental and physical invaders, they're all one siblings from one Mother Chiwendu but they're busy spilling each other's blood for who has the best culture from the invaders and who's acting like the invaders the best meanwhile, the invaders are busy gang raping their Mother right in front of them. Some actually are doing better than the invaders because they seem to have woken up and saw the tactics of the invaders and have eventually said no but now this is where there's a problem. They are still following the cultures of the invaders little by little, they are still largely praying to the Gods of the invaders and giving all glory and honor to the invaders' Gods. They have even gone ahead to create stories and tales about how their invaders' Gods and cultures are actually their own and how the invaders stole it from them along side the resources. That's the peak of the mental invasion and what we call colonialism."
"The invaders of these communities look, clap for and congratulate themselves because they understand that even though they may have granted these people independence and even though some of these people actually defeated them in wars, various wars and battles, so long as they are able to keep these people hating their own culture and way of Life and loving their own culture and way of Life, these Chiwendu people are never gonna be free from their shackles so they relax a bit and allow the Children of Chiwendu further colonize themselves and their children to come from generation to generation. Some of Chiwendu's kids, as free as they seem still pay good money to go pray in the shrines of their invaders' Gods whereas their own Mother's shrines lay desolate and are repeatedly being spat on, prayed against and rebuked in the name of the Gods of their colonizers and invaders by them her beloved Children. One part of Chiwendu have successfully been influenced and assimilated into the culture of Ibekwe and have become one with them so much that they forget today that they once had a culture, their very own culture, the culture of their Mother Chiwendu, they even go on to hate their Daughters and not respect them just like their colonizers, their invaders do all because they lack Love for their Mother. Another part remember the cultures of their Mother but they insult and rebuke it in the name of their invaders' Gods and want to be like Ézèọrị in beauty and what not and they go to the extent of going to Jisike's shrines to pray to his Gods so that they can be like Ézèọrị and Jisike combined meanwhile their Mother is still being raped by the three Ibekwe, Jisike, Ézèọrị and countless others who eventually wake up to the greed and deceit of Ézèọrị and his compatriots, the children of Chiwendu turn a blind eye to the evil their heroes do their Mother Chiwendu and her shrine remain desolate and spat upon by her very own children watching her being raped by all these Men."
"So what's your point Dad? I'm losing you."
"Sorry about that, my point is simple Ada, some of these children of Chiwendu who eventually become free first of all can still not truly become free upstairs in their minds and brains, do you know why?"
"Nná m mbà."
"It's because they're still praying to the Gods of their invaders, they are still calling on them, using their wealth to go and enrich the altars of their invaders' Gods. In doing so they'll still continue to answer to their colonizers and invaders. In these Religions, these their invaders have exalted and done themselves justice, the Gods are their own, the main figures of these their Religions are the invaders tribal members. The Religion itself is clothed, covered, tattooed and moulded in the cultures of their invaders, infact the Religion is simply just the culture of the invaders. Now the people that have been invaded may want to shape these cultures now a Religion to be their own but it will never truly be their own and they know it. The main altars and shrines of these invasive Religions will always be in the lands of the invaders and the main characters and players of these Religions, they'll always be the children of the invaders. So when they are busy praying to the Gods of their invaders, they are still answering to their invaders whether they give the Gods names that are the type that Chiwendu gives her children, they'll never change from being the invaders' properties and no matter how much the children of Chiwendu try to claim the main characters of these Religions and claim the culture of these Religions, it will always come back to bite them in their butts because the Gods of the invaders will always favor the invaders over they who have been invaded."
"The beauty of it all is that these invaders have their cultures, their Gods and their shrines and they decorate it to their taste, they are proud of all they have because it belongs to them and no one else and they know that no matter how much another may claim what is their own it will never stop being their own."
"If Chiwendu... Cut the crap, if Africa and her children, infact if Africa's children can turn away from the cultures of the invaders and fall in love with their own culture, chase away the invaders raping their Mother and help pick her up and together they build her shrines, decorate it to their tastes and not the taste of their invaders but to their Mother's taste and actually begin worshipping her Gods and calling upon them again then we can now actually have something to be proud of, we can then fall in love with ourselves and actually love ourselves because we're proud of ourselves then we will see true rapid change whereby the outside world will these time around come back to plead with us and beg us but we'll refuse because they know we will never fall for their deceit ever again. And then the rest of they who were once conquered but rose up can then respect us again because we respect ourselves, our shrines, our Mother and her land and they who once invaded us will cower in fear before us. But first, we must let go of their Gods, their shrines, their main characters and everything foreign which is their own. I believe this is the one African ideology that can liberate us from them, loving ourselves and loving who we are, who we were, who our Ancestors were and who our Ancestors taught us to be before they arrived... To invade."
"I believe it was our very own captain Thomas Sankara of Ánịágwáómá who stated, 'Africa's wealth is for her children only, Africa's wealth is for Africa's children alone,'
Wemusteradicate all forms of colonialism from our minds and our lives, the night is not evil, they taught us that nonsense because they were obvious of black people's ability to blend into the night. Ekwensu and Esu and are not the devil, they are the Ìgbo and Yoruba Gods of trickery and War strategy. Africa had no place for the devil in their pantheon of Gods. Writing about our African Goddesses and Gods with small letters and their Gods with capital letters is the peak of mental slavery. Chineke is not a name for one of their Gods, it's the name of the Ìgbo Goddess of fate and destiny which is why Chineke simply means fate and destiny. She has two faces one facing East and another facing West. The Sun, Moon, Stars, Earth, Air and Water are not just things created by one of their Gods or just any God at all, these are core separate individual and independent elements of the Mother Universe which when they come together they become Nnéụwá, the Mother of the world. Chịụkwụ, Osanobua, Eledumare, Una Jiji or any of the names of the African supreme beings are not the names of their various Gods, these Gods are African and the names belong to our supreme beings like Nnéụwá and the rest and not their Gods. Our Languages and tonal structures are not backwards, archaic or difficult, most Africans are just too lazy to sit down, sit back and learn. Our huts and mud houses are not old fashioned and backwards, they are built in line with our Ancestors understandings of the climate and not according to the invaders' ignorances. Our noses are fat and shorter than their own thanks to our evolution to the weather of Africa and theirs are slimmer and longer thanks to their evolution to the weather of the Caucasuses and other places after they migrated from sub Saharan Africa so no one has any right to laugh at another's nose shape or ridicule them. Africans should stop being ashamed of our noses and trying to change it to look like theirs. Our skins are black like the night because the Sun our Mother constantly upgrades our DNAs and grants us melatonin abi na melanin by making love to our skin constantly all during the day, something they're jealous of and they are only as white as they are because of the absence of Melatonin abi Melanin which the Sun grants, they don't get as much of her as we do so they taught us to hate ourselves for doing so. We are not backwards for walking on our Mother the Earth barefooted, we are only being in line with our Mother the Earth and we're communicating with her, nothing more, nothing less. And for my Mom's sake, Africans should please stop shaving off their hairs because they are extensions of our nervous systems as Africans for crying out loud. Plus the invaders can't turn their hair to be like ours but of course we can turn ours to be like theirs so anything they can't have they either demonize or they destroy. Africans can't continue calling White non-African Boys with their heads full of uncombed or untouched hair pretty, beautiful and cute while calling our Black African Boys with their heads full of untouched and uncombed hair uncivilized, unkempt, backwards, ugly and all sorts of insulting and degradatory names under the face of the Sun sometimes even when they comb and keep their hair."
"We can't continue referring to White Girls who are simply being themselves as pretty and girly and as what a real Lady should look like and we can't keep centering the White Girls and holding onto them as the epitomes of beauty and Femininity whereas we demonize and shame our Black Ladies into changing themselves and hating themselves so much that they bleach their skins just to satisfy us. We go as far as calling our Black Queens who don't wanna change shit about themselves as Natural hair warriors but we do not refer to those that do change as Bone straight fighters and stuffs like that. We must desist from the habit of referring to our fair skin African siblings anywhere in the African continent and across the world as the epitomes of beauty and what but referring to ourselves who are the actual epitomes of the beauty of the Motherland as ugly or as monkeys. Ngozichi, all these began when we abandoned our African spiritual systems and began chasing the spiritual systems of other nations because as we abandoned that which had made us great and kept us great from generations to generations we abandoned love for selves, self love and we abandoned respect for ourselves. So we as Africans wander the world as prairies, like homeless entities and not even the dusts of the Mother Earth respects us. Ngozi all these because we abandoned our Gods, the ways of Life our ancestors had taught us and the paths they showed us to follow. All these because we abandoned our African spiritual systems thereby losing ourselves in the process. Ngozi if you don't love yourself, your cultures and your identities, no one else will be able to love or respect you, ever."
I arise from the bed as he sits upright, I'm actually still in a bit of a shock, I ask, "Wait you actually really watch me through the window?... Every morning... and night?"
"Yup!" He replies with every bit of unremorse, "Everytime I'm home and you're manifesting abi praying, nkè óbụnà! You're not quite getting it right but you'll get there, hell, you forget where you stand is adjacent your Mom's study window where I also stand sipping tea or orange juice as the case may be early in the mornings or late in the evenings while I overlook the city," He laughs and I suddenly realize he was right, few years long and it's just now I'm realizing, éwọ! "Sometimes Mom too watches along with me, she thinks you're just being silly, going through a phase and even after my explanations she'll be like "She'll grow over it," And I'm like, "Ákíkó! Ịn'ákó!" We both laugh it off, "Like that was the same shit they told me since I was a kid in the early noughties, I had a neighbor Lady like that back then who thought I was being childish and what not and I wouldn't be successful if I kept on with my beliefs but fast forward years later, I'm happily married, leading my best life with my best friend and my Queen, I, her best friend and consort till the end and there's Chidera and you, my Princesses, we're lit! And they're good too, her family and my family, cool, but we don't talk anymore though, she was the landLady of the compound we were dwelling as tenants back in the days, looking back I don't mind whatever she did, it's her home turf, her abode and she was a divine feminine. Every Lady is."
"She was?" I ask.
"Yeah baby cub, she was, she still is... I guess I just have this habit of referring to every Lady as a divine feminine.
"I guess because we all are," I declare proudly.
He smiles, "Exactly," And he continues, "Back then, even now, we don't actually see eye to eye, never have, never had, never will."
"Why's that?" I ask.
"Back then she was like telling her kids not to talk with me again abi to fear me and avoid me or what not and me not to talk to them no more because I was trying to change her kids' minds on their Religions," Dad laughs and I ask.
"Well Dad, were you?"
'Asking me that like your Mom, you people should just take a person's word for it.' He murmurs, "Well Nné, I can say I was kind of o, not purposely though, in my mind I was like these kids and I, they were four to five years younger than me though both of them respectively, so I was like, we're just having a reasonable conversation where we would banter each other and learn from each other which we usually did in our spares but she thought otherwise you get?" I nod in response and he continues.
"So apparently, she thought otherwise, and like a Mom she was, respect to her and her Motherhood, her style of Motherhood all, I swear it, absolute respect from me to her I swear it, she thought it was alright her kids and I avoided each other even while we both dwelled in the same compound you get? So that was like exactly what I did," I chuckle shaking my head.
"I can recall that night vividly, my major problem with that night was that she would say something to me and she wouldn't even let me get a word in, she was like, I don't wanna hear nothing, I'm like this isn't a proper conversation then, she was like don't I have respect? And I was like when did fear become synonymous with respect then I recalled her generation and eventually went inside and decided to avoid her, not like me and her ever conversed, we obviously weren't like-minded, you get?" I nod in response.
"She was like I was talking back at her and I was like no ma, I was only simply replying the questions you had asked me and she was like that's disrespectful and I was like..."
"Ok what the fuck? Was that her definition of respect?" I ask bewildered.
"Girl, that's what I said! Anyways, I avoided her and her family best I could though, I particularly didn't wanna ruin the mom and son relationship she and her kids shared because... you know, no be that kain person I be, but a few days later we were hypothetically cool, hypothetically and we're good friends right now... At least, hypothetically, you know Uncle Nonso, Uncle Somkele, Auntie Otitodilunnem and Auntie Amanda right?"
"Yeah right, ok them, that's nice!"
"Well, it comes almost naturally as we grow up, we end up like, why are we fighting when we can be chilling and stuffs like that, today, they're living in the great western nation of Iwo Okhobo in the town of Asaba Ọchịè and we're over here in the Motherland Union of Biafra, in Onyebuchi and yada yada yada," Dad takes a deep breath and I smile.
"Ahaba Ófụrụ is for the Ìgbo people of Asaba and Ìgbo people of Delta State who had to cross the Niger canal to the Motherland Union of Biafra right? And Asaba Ọchịè, the original Asaba which is now part of the western nation of Iwo Okhobo republic, according to the Ókwú ékwụrụ n'ịfị ọbọdọ, the people's doctrine right?"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, Quit diverting, Omo! I'll never forget when they were like 'my beliefs and particularly my knowledge of history won't take me no where' especially my Aunt championing the notion, well look at me right now," Dad laughs again and continues, quickly adding.
"I really love my Aunty Ebele though, that Lady really tried for me like, that's the story for a special day, so like I was saying like dude, I'm a rigid person and you can't get your age old beliefs that have clearly never helped you or anyone else positively in me, but with time and maturity I learnt to use my gift of gab to call for peaceful coexistence and cohabitation amongst all beliefs and faiths and I basically gave the middle finger to all who came to rub it in my face that I was going to hell and their God will punish me for eternity where I'll burn, and scream, and shout, and suffer for ever and ever and shit like that because I didn't believe in their hypothetical God or his hypothetical son both of whom love me to bits even though they'll hand me to their hypothetical relation down below who will torture me for not accepting their love and I'm like, Ok, sorry for the past, sorry for disrespecting your beliefs, I was naive, please respect my own beliefs and fucking be on your own lane, but they just wouldn't get it... With time, I was like fuck it, y'all can do and say whatever you wanted to, but as for me, I was gonna respect y'all's faith and absolutely walk the fuck away from you irregardless of who the fuck you were or how much your presence was going impact or help me in anyway if I ever suspected that you were busy trying to disrespect me or my beliefs because I would basically not be doing same to you... And that was the basics of my life spiritually and physically for the past thirty two years, I lived and I learnt... But imagine that my neighbor Lady calling me a bad omen, saying that ever since I arrived her house or thereabout she had been sensing and experiencing negative energy, her husband this, her husband that... Like the fuck ma, what the fuck! But good to know, it's all in the fucking past now."
"Hm! Dad, this is no two thousand and five, ten or twenty twenty five, this is a new age, new calendar, ỊgụÁró, new generation, áró ófụrụ ọkọ m be calming down with the slangs."
"Dey play Nné, just dey dey play, no be us ụmụ gen Z bring this new generation for una, ụnụ nódụ nó ịná kó tụ pákị..." He chuckles.
"Me sef, I just started reading a lot of the books on the shelves in your study especially the ones by our African revolutionary voices and other Pan Africanists and after doing my researches, I realized they were making much more sense and I decided I was going to stick with them, I'm writing stuffs down though..."
"That's my daughter! That's my baby! Ó mgbọ m bụ ónyá! Ó ágbó m! Ó mgbọ m! Ó nwá m nwáànyị! Yeah! Cmon!" Dad exclaims like an exhilarated sports fan who's side had performed an almost impossible dine minute comeback, I laugh in response at his overzealous enthusiasm.
He glances at the élèkèlè on his wrist again and pushes me off, "Bitch, it's fucking time for school, off you go!" I give dad 'the look,' "Sorry love," He smiles, we both clearly understood that the term "bitch" was a popular derogatory term from the core of patriarchy and we were always cautious of it. But at that point in time I didn't know if what cringed me was dad's usage of the word or Dad's usage of the word. Like it was weird seeing an oldie using slangs like... I now actually recall the generation he's coming from, tech boomers.
I hear Mom calling out for me and Dad enters a bit of a rush, "Em Nkoli, this makes sense for your Mom right?" Damn, he has never called me Nkoli before, he actually gave me that name, Mom called me Ngozi, my maternal granny, my Mom's Mom Ifeyinwa initially called me Queeneth, but she later revoked it for some reason and eventually called me Obinne, Dad then did the most controversial thing he could have ever done, ditching his own ancestral surname for my Mom's first name Ozioma, he's actually the only son of his father by the way, I'm not joking, problem now is that her name now goes Ozioma N. Q. L. Ozioma. Funny! I didn't like it. But at Dad's prompting and her consideration she submitted a request to have her surname changed to one of her Great grandmother's first name Nweke, it should be ready by the weekend, Nkwó. Dad really picked his best friend and his tanker load of love for her over his family name and identity, rare!
Anyways, I glance at his pick, "She's your partner sha, so far and so good, you understand and know her better than I, sooooo... I guess... your choice is ok, let's go!"
"Right!" He says and we race downstairs and towards our various businesses.
About an hour later Chi and I were good and ready for school, we were about sitting for breakfast when we saw Mom coming down the stairs neatly clad in the outfit Dad had chosen for her with just a few modifications from her, I glanced at dad who glanced back from his chair in the living room, he smiled his usual, exhibiting his set of teeth and he clenched his fists celebratory at me, I chuckle at his 'goofiness' while Chi continues on in confusion. Mom looks at the both of us almost knowingly, chuckles while shaking her head and moves on into the kitchen.
Chi and I grab our breakfast and we both kiss Dad on the cheeks and calling out for mom, we bid her farewell as we head out, she murmurs something back which we interpret as a positive response and we get a move on.
Just a few meters into the next street and we hear a familiar honk and I turn, I smile shaking my head, I wasn't surprised Dad allowed us to go just so he could open up the gates by himself and now he was proposing to drop us off at school, I shake my head with a smile, Classic dad!
"Chi, it's funny you think I'm built different, it's like you've not met my Dad," Chi just states from me to the car and back again, she didn't want to talk or could she talk? She simply shakes her head, baffled and we hop in.
Inside, she chuckles, "Like father like daughter na," Dad and I laugh in response.
After the morning assembly where we that were prefects usually took sometimes proper and most times improper and often nonchalant, lackadaisical and reckless... I can't just emphasize the reckless enough, unchecked, undue advantage of the 'divine' duty of placing the younger students in line, something I absolutely abhorred, I personally didn't support students a few years older than others being put in levels of power and authority and being handed the privilege of caning or hitting younger ones as a means of punishment.
I usually referred to such activities as being in direct violation of human rights a major characteristic of the trans Atlantic slave trade but Chi usually always begged to differ.
"Nné, resti o! Rest! Rest, Chineke nné akpọ gị òkù! Rest! ah ah! Every thing you want to put your word over on it, resti Ómụ! Something we have been doing way before our ancestors..."
"That form of punishment amongst others came along with the colonial masters, caning kids or your fellow human being is the core of slavery himself, the core of the trans Atlantic slave trade, to me real punishments benefitted the populace, the community, like when we're punished to do dishes for a week, sweep the compounds for a month and stuffs like that, activities that benefitted the community and still inculcated lessons and disciplines... Such is the reason I hate the prison system..."
"Bịà Ngozi ịbịákwà! zụkwà n'iké! Haba!" As she exclaimed she turned to face her front having almost bumped into...
"Bịà way, this dirty human being, are you blind or what?" She screams at Chi, "You did not see me abi has poverty blocked your vision..." All around exploded into laughter, I glance around, majority of those laughing were guys, guys clearly waiting for their turn to ịtà nwà with her... Obviously! She barely had any female following because she saw herself as above all the girls, I noticed she particularly didn't fancy the boys either but was smart enough to give them just enough interest to keep them on their toes chasing her, spending on her, you know simping after her but never really handing them the privilege of getting her attention, I was a lady's girl and I really admired that about her but I just couldn't get my fingers on something I felt was off about her and not to talk of her distaste of Chidera and I for absolutely no reason which I was seriously about to tackle.
"Neche! Neche! Neche! Kpáchàlụ kw'ányá gị o! Dey wise o, what's your fucking problem sef, I swear Neche if e sure for you follow her talk again I swear!" I para towards her.
"Wetin you wan con do? Odịkà ósébé gọ gị n'ịsị? Like see this babe o, e be like say you no see me here?" Dumebi charges at me shoving Neche outta the way, I would always say take away her fronties and she could safely pass for a guy, Chi would always be like Dumebi was more of a guy than a guy, and I couldn't agree more. I stared her dead in the eye, my heart was beating faster than the drums at the morning assembly but I didn't let it show, I knew she could easily toss me out from here all the way down to the ground floor... We were in the third floor, the guys had learnt earlier on the folly of meddling with Nnemdumebi in any of her bickerings that usually turned into all-out brawls, she kinda usually had no conscience towards anyone, be you a girl or guy.
I cautiously turned to Neche and gave her a serious final warning, "Chinecherem let me not warn you again o!" As soon as the words left my mouth Dumebi shoved me by the collar and lifted me a few meters off the ground slapping me hard, I reciprocated, mine even harder because I wasn't gonna let anyone get anything on or over me but with Dumebi, it almost had me soaring but for the guys who soon gathered around to catch me just in time and separate us, I, in a bid to not sorely accept defeat even while extended in the air, grab onto her collar, she smiled and proceeded to lifting over the rails but for the guys around. As soon as the people successfully separated us, Chidera made an immediate run for it and someone shoved me forward from behind as I was picking myself up, I turned, it was one of the guys, he beckoned I should run too but I wasn't gonna run, 'Like run for what?' I say to myself.
I turned and realized Neche was staring at me with a weird lil smile plastered over her lips, I look at her a while, squint my eyes at her and get a move on nodding my head as if planning something, I am gonna forget the present incident in a few hours.