"Nnyà éh, school today sha!" I exclaim as we walk home together.
"I swear!" Chidera replies.
"I been wan laugh but I no later laugh," I continue.
"Nnyà éh, no be say una no expect am o," She remarks to which we all chorus laughs to which causes bystanders and passers to stare.
"But Mama, you're lucky o," Chidera says.
"Omo, I swear," I add, "Just last week you arrived and now you've got disciplinary and sanitary prefect."
"I'm telling you!" Chidera exclaims, "Just because your Mom owns one of the biggest modeling agencies in the regions."
"Anyways sha, e no really matter, e no concern us sha, a win is a win," I reply as Ifeoma walks on by our side smiling from ear to ear.
"I swear, I no expect am," Ifeoma says almost with pride and I give her 'the look.'
"Nékwà ónyé á! See, see this one o! Comot for here joor! I swear I no expect am," I mimic her in mockery to which she laughs at.
Indeed today was really according to Oge's predictions or knowledge. Cos today, the much anticipated posts abi duties nwánụ were handed out without an election contrary to the pattern used on the set before us, that's Oge's set and it was not much of a surprise to those in the high level or senior secondary level. Us, because we knew who called the shots in the school affairs and everything was according to their wishes... Or close enough.
I mean we're just at the very early stage of the N'ụrụsóró system of economy and practically, the N'ụrụsóró system of doing everything, and our new nation, the one which our Ancestors fought and starved for but didn't live to enjoy, the one they called Biafra and proclaimed an Ìgbo nation the single act which caused us to eventually lose that war, to lose that fight, to lose that battle earlier because we once again did like the country we were trying to let go of, the country we were trying to decenter, we once again acted like them by ignoring the other indigenous tribes and ethnicities around us.
We had referred to Biafra as an Ìgbo nation, a big mistake, a senseless mistake because by doing so we ended up neglecting tribes already facing neglect and danger of erasure due to colonialism and they only feared that the Ìgbos who were fortunately or unfortunately leading this call for separation, for decolonization, and for neo-decolonization would only treat them like the enemies, or maybe even worse than the invaders, the enemies, the missionaries, the British had and so they became weary of the Ìgbos. We had neglected the great Ogoni tribe, most of the Rivers people whom hold the province of what is now Binatu meaning Family, because we say it's better than the name Rivers, it reflects one of the names of one of their many languages, they, the Ogoni, one of whom had the wealth of the nations, oil, crude oil, rich, black, sexy, beautiful black gold, crude oil, that which would have given us wealth, they had it and we ignored them and shifted them aside. That fortunately came back to bite us in the butt. The Ijaw people, another great tribe and nation, we also ignored them, the Ibibios, great, great beautiful people, we ignored them, the Efiks, sweet, sweet, Mother Efik, we ignored them and the Izzi people in what was the Southsouth region and the Ezza people, and so many more tribes in the South East and Southsouth of the country of Nigeria were ignored, painfully even our very own Ìgbo Ebonyi State of the Abakaliki people, oh, how foolish we were. Going West, we had our Ìgbo and non-Ìgbo people across the Niger river, the Ika people, the Itsekiri people who are not Ìgbo abeg o but they were still Biafra, the Olukumi people of the former Southsouth, the Afenmai people of Edo, the Aboh people, they whom the Ọnịchá Ádọ N'ịdụ people are relations to, the Ukwuani people, the Ozarra people, the Ebira people, the Idumuje Unor people, Idumuje Ugboko people, siblings, and... Omo, they're alot. All these people whom our ancestors who led the Biafran call ignored, we the descendants of our great Ancestors, we say to them, we're sorry, be with us again so that we can be great again.
The Igede people whom are actually Ekoi migrants, the Ekoi people, the villages of Oroworukwo, Oromeruezimgbu and Rumuomasi, the Diobu people, the real, actual and first native Port Harcourt people, then the Ejagham people, the Okrika people from whom we get most of our clothings, the Obulom people, the Nkpogu people and the Oloibiri people, chai, the Oloibiri people, those who hold the very wealth of the nations but failed to benefit from it... right until now! And yes, the Wakirike-Ijaw people, ah! So many! The people who own the Okoloama river, or rather the Okoloama people, the river which held the bight of Biafra, later callled the bight of Bonny after the war was lost and now called Àgwànkịtị Okoloama, the bight of Okoloama, because I'm an Ìgbo girl and we the Ìgbos have names for like almost everything now so that's what we call it. The other tribes actually have names for everything too so pardon me, they call the bight something in their languages and dialects too which we're all trying to revitalize and awaken. Ányị sị ná ùwà émé nlọzó ányị, we said that the world will not forget us. Ányị émé nkwé kà ùwà lọzó ányị, we refuse erasure.
To all these peoples I called, for they are the little I know, and to the ever many more people in our region, I say as the revolutionary voices said, 'We're sorry for the mess ups and for the fuck ups, let's come again, let's do better, let's manage our resources by ourselves and let's do better than our pre and post colonial ancestors ever did and let's decolonize and neo-decolonize the shit outta this region and join the grand band wagon of Africans making our Africa, our Motherland, great again!'
That is what we had said, that is what the revolutionary voices had said and most importantly, this was what the Ìgbo youths, those from the former Southeast had told the people of the regions whom our ancestors ignored in our ignorance during the strive for a new and better nation, we cried and said, 'we will do better,' and we're trying to everyday. But the step to decapitalize our economy, unwesternize and decolonize ourselves is not child's play. To get to a full blown functioning Socialist economy free from all forms of Capitalism like the N'ụrụsóró economy says is not easy but with each tribe understanding their roots, identity, what made them fall, what made them great earlier and what can make us great again in a fast evolving and changing world, being in unity and solidarity with each other, all these things day and night, day and night, we continue learning, growing, winning, dominating and succeeding together, we are the Motherland Union of Biafra or according to the Ìgbos, Ụsóró Ánịnné Ówụwá (Motherland Union of the East).
Today we don't call it an Ìgbo nation, that is a crime punishable by law because under one of the other Amendments of the Constitution, Ndọzị Ọkwụọbọdọ it says, 'The Motherland region of the Union of Biafra in the country of Africa, our mighty Motherland, is not a land, country or state for one person, tribe or ethnicity alone, never has been, never will be. But she is however for a vast amount of tribes, ethnicities and people closely related to one another in one way or another in the landmass and region. So in due course must never be referred to as the land or the nation of one person, tribe or ethnicity alone without including every other single tribes and ethnicities in the region at the point in time of making any such statements. It went further to read, Anyone found guilty of such offense by statements, words or thought shall be referred to three years in the farm after which they are to begin their Life afresh...
Yes the laws are set, the country is booming... Steadily, we're still starting but it's cool. Reconciliation, acceptance and upholding of various customs and traditions are well on the way, languages are currently being revitalized, updated and remembered, dialects also. The capital of our region of the Motherland housing the regional N'ụrụsọrọ Parliament is not in Enugwu or any Southeastern town, state or province as before which was a big mistake from our ancestors but it's now in the new town of EKAETE named after the legendary Ìyọm Ówụwá, Lady Biafra, Ekaete the daughter of her Mother Inamhawe and her Father Nwanawanyango. Ekaete the capital which spans the landmass of Abalama, Egbolom, Buguma, Abua, Rumuji, Omagwa, Ozuoba, Elele Alimini, Ogbogono all the way till Elele proper all in the Southsouthern state of Rivers now the province of Binatu and her capital Port Harcourt now Obomotu meaning Big house in the Obulom language. We understood that Port Harcourt is named after one of the colonial Masters, Reginald Lewis Vernon Harcourt, one of Frederick John Dealtry Lugard otherwise known as Lugard the invader's friends and so, we must decolonize our names. All of them, mostly the British, ndị Ájó mmádụ, are most of the white invaders who came to destabilize our regions and almost succeeded in erasing our cultures but for the African Gen Z, the age of awakening and our earliest revolutionary ancestors who begged but they didn't break, who cried but didn't fall, who faced fear and defeated it, who died but never lost and continue cos we, their descendants, Lady and Male, woke up for their sake and because of them and their sacrifices continue to fight, reclaim and decolonize ourselves, our children, their children and our regions. Every piece of Land in Africa and on the African hemisphere are for Africans alone. No more, no less. So Obomotu, Big house, is the capital of the province of Binatu, Family, (formerly Port Harcourt the capital of former Rivers state.)
Anyways, I, against my wish was handed deputy class president, assistant class prefect to Chidera who was now my boss and like Oge had predicted or rather knew or felt, nothing was done to Esther who didn't feel bothered in the slightest, chewing gum and giving her acceptance speech with gaity and lackadaisical reckless abandon, though if I must say so myself, her speech was nothing short of a masterpiece, being evident again to her intellectual knowhows which added wind to her sails and pride to her ego, she was smart, intelligent, came from a wealthy background and was clever in most ramifications but sadly it had already gotten to her head.
In as much as it was evident that the video was from her account, the incident passed faster than a fart no one knew the culprit of, good or bad, I couldn't tell.
My wish was actually to get library prefect abi president or nothing at all cos I wanted unquestionable access to those sweet, sweet history books in the library and a VIP pass to the state library which every schools' library presidents in Onyebuchi and indeed all of Biafra got. To me it was student librarian or nothing but I got THIS other post.
The person who got Nnụkwụ Ágbóịzịzịn'édụ, senior prefect was my namesake and academic rival Nkolika Miyamigbemilomeyi, difficult name, I know, it means "My Mom gave me life" in the the ancient Itsekiri language of the old Iwere empire now Warri, her surname is Ogheneruno after her Mom's first name, pretty cool.
I had always been a second position maestro to her since jss1, it was ridiculous that after years of being second best to her... Effortlessly must I add, I end up effortlessly being second best to my best friend at long last, hip, hip, hurray! I guess. I rivalled with Nkoli so much I just had to learn about her... More than I should have.
"So like play, like play, ónyé nnụkwụ Ágbóịzịzị ényémáká n'édụ, our deputy senior prefect na Esther, oh chị m! Things dey occur o, ịfè né mé zí kwá o, oh chị m!" Ifeoma exclaims and Chidera chuckles, shaking her head over her phone.
"Nn'ágwá gị eh!" She replies, "I'm telling you!" She kicks a stone outta our path into a gutter whose drop causes dirty ripples, "No hard feelings from me sha, I'm not ready to fight with no one, I just wanna enjoy these final remaining months of high school bịkọ, if na friendship wey e go later end for then so be it as God wishes, nothing I fit do abeg," I eye her up and down.
"Clean your mouth! Clean your mouth! Clean your mouth!" I say as I cup her entire mouth in my palm and wipe it off.
She chuckles, "Wetin happen na? What did I say?"
"See wetin dey comot your mouth this child," I mutter incomprehensible words of mockery of her, "Omo sha, na you dey dull! Nné, friendship with that blood sucker that nearly disgraced you for me, no for me Abeg!" I wonder what was making Chi go soft on her.
"Stop abeg, don't say things like that joor," She calls out. I stop to look her in shock.
"Hiya! Bịà nwáànyị á, chélụ kwá o, ó ógụ̀ k'éjị wé jịdégị nwá nké á? Eh?" I ask in bewilderment. Ifeoma chuckles, "Na juju dem use tie you this child? Eh?" Ifeoma quickly moves to change the subject.
"Omo, dem no even announce am, them just shock everybody, má ndị yị belt o, Élịlịụkwù, má ndị yị bad áfè ákwụkwó o, gbọgbọtịgbọ o, mà ndị n'enyịrọ, dem just carry post give any body dem see, Ok o, no wahala," she laughs it up as we support her, "Oh chị m!"
"Asin eh, babes, dem just use our ómálịchà set play, màkà one person, the only thing stopping them from giving that girl SP na the backlash she know say she go collect from us na the students," Ifeoma says.
"Haba! Abi? That kain thing, but sef, anybody get time? forgeti! Forget joor," I wave it off.
"Forget that shit, Esther na practically the student body president now, I swear!" Chidera chips in.
"Of course, is it loud, she loud die, outspoken? She's too outspoken, social? A1, smart to lots of extents, intelligent book wise? Confirm! Do guys worship her feet? Ịmákwà! As it should be. I actually like werin she dey use boys so, those boys na ọkpọ sha o!" We all laugh.
"I dey tell you! But make she sha no forget say Boys, Men, hm! When they set their heart out to ruin a Girl, they'll do it effortlessly, no matter how long it takes, that gender, them no get work, useless people," Chidera says.
"No, you're right, na why I'm actually threading with caution in their path, no be me them go use tọ ọṅụ, no be me dem go use boast," Ify says.
"Everytime, with their mouth like I don chop am!" I say. Ify laughs as Chidera hisses.
"I don chop am!" Chi repeats, hissing again.
"See their mouth, I don chop am! Foolish people, jobless fools," Ify adds.
"I'm telling you, useless people," I agree.
"Men sha, ólé kwá! Fịákwá fá!" Chidera says, I snap my finger in agreement.
"But babes forget, she's technically the SP, or do you think it's Nkolika, Mary Amaka, virgin mother of God, that one? Na she wan handle school? Nonsense. She's intelligent, yes o, book smart only, but she no like talk, no gossip, she's not loud, she no social, she's not smart, see na just style dem use give Esther SP, if to say na Ngozi dem give am as na she rightfully deserve am in my humblest opinion, them know say Ngozi go follow her drag am still give am levels on top but here we are na deputy dustbin prefect dem give am, ọ Chi m!" Ifeoma says and Chi and I burst into laughter, painful laughter on my part I must add. But she seems to have an opinion of Nkoli whom she barely knows...
"Abi you know say na style you dey use insult us?" Chidera queries.
"No be say I dey insult una o, na the school and management dem, na dem insult una, you go reason say you be Oga at the top but na style dem use give una board and duster prefect and dem look you well, you tall sef, you go clean am tire, e no hard," I stare at her a while as she and Chidera laugh it all up.
"See this one o," I call at Chi, "You think say you better pass, na me and you dey share for the board cleaning o, ha! See this one o!" She continues her laughter.
"E dey pain you? At least I no be assistant," I stare at her as Ifeoma giggles.
"Ok, no wahala, you don talk your own now..." I say nodding calmly.
"You, see you sef, no be say you sabi book," She hurls at Chidera, I burst out laughing as she makes to bury her face in her phone. I swear na Ngozi own pain me die," She continues, "Chai! Second position from jss1 to ss2 first term, that Nkoli sef I no even understand her own, be like say she don go third as una sha talk... Omo abeg, tomorrow, I don reach house o," She says as we stop in front of a gate a few metres from our compound.
"Ah! so na here una dey live?" I exclaim.
"Yes o! What of you girls na?" She asks.
"See our house down there na, if you just raise your head you'll see it, haba! How have we not been..." I ask.
"You forget say they just moved in... I guess," She turns to Ifeoma, "Abi? Shey una just move in na?"
"Yes o, my Mom recently just purchased this entire compound."
"Are you serious? Because I was wondering why all the members of this compound was evacuating that one time with immediate effect," Chidera says.
"Yes oh, na Mumsy o, Mum suggested we should move to this neighborhood, quiet, serene and all..." Before she's done, Chi and I glance at ourselves and burst out laughing as I rearrange my bag's strap, "Ah, why the laughters?" With a confused smile, she adds, "Why una dey laugh?"
"Sorry for the laugh," Chidera says still laughing, it moves me to more laughter.
"Chi, calm down, calm down," I say in between laughs.
Calming me, she replies, "See, we're laughing because you believe that this neighborhood is quiet and serene," She laughs again, "Sorry for the laugh."
"Keep playing!" I say.
She hisses, "Ákíkọ́, story! is that why you're laughing? Normal, I know that one na, na why I no really argue with them, dem no see Obianuju's three three for this our Onyebuchi, it's now Muammar al-Gaddafi way, Mamaa Gaddafi road them come, say na peace and quiet, may dem two just dey there dey play," She laughs as we join her.
"But the work is nice though," I remark the renovation work being done around the compound as the sound of hammers, chisels and what not kept banging on our ear drums. I move to cover my ears.
"Omo since last week o," Chidera says.
"And under this hot sun eh! Chai! Noise pollution," Ifeoma replies with a slight hiss.
"So where una dey stay na?" Chidera continues.
"For the boy's quarters na just a few meters away from the house at the back there," Ifeoma replies, I focus on her hand gestures which she makes as she signals to the direction of the quarters, her signature move, her demure hand gestures, it was nice, I loved it and her sudden rapid eye movements? Ọ chị m!
She had arrived earlier this morning and I was immediately drawn to this unique and exhilarating new student and I instantly knew I had to friend her especially before Esther got the chance to. If there was anything she was excellently good at, it was drawing and keeping people and letting them go faster than the wind... At least that's long enough for them to realize they are simply getting their ass manipulated by her... More or less. Sooooo, not a competition though, just to be safe... Keeping Ifeoma here safe from iniquities.
"Una get boys' quarters sef, Omo money dey o," I says to her.
"Ịmákwà! I'm telling you," Chidera chips in over her phone.
"Abegi, which money dey?" She laughs, bending her body and covering her mouth unconsciously, Mesmerizing! As she straightens up, two of her buttons comes off revealing her flat tummy, it was so natural, so smooth with obviously soft and delicately emerging hairs trailing up her stomach way over her navel... and her navel piercing... Ọ chị m!
"Ọ chị m! Chai! Oooooooh God! so this thing later spoil?" She says, "These buttons wey dey hang for their dear life all day long," I chuckle.
"You go call all this aboki people na?" I suggest.
"Yes, that's what'll do."
"And besides, it's not like they make noise always in this street so you're kinda ok here," Chidera confirms from over her phone.
"Abi? The street members?" Ifeoma asks.
"This girl, try and catch up, we're past that, ọkpọ!" Ifeoma smiles and continues.
"Don't mind her! Her and Whatsapp status!" Ify turns to me, "Since inside the classroom, how many contacts you get sef this girl?"
"Hm? Wetin happen?" She calls realizing herself, I glance at Ifeoma who gives a deep knowing smile.
"Nothing o," I reply as Ifeoma laughs. She looks up from the phone and blankly at us as if trying to accertain the cause of our laughter, when she can't, she continues on her device, "You go soon loss for inside that phone," Ifeoma chuckles and moving towards her gate, Chi replies.
"You don't know that nowadays, status is a way of checking up on people, if they post status and you view, comment and pass, na greeting, so na greeting I dey greet my almost ninety something contacts of which like eighty something dey always drop steady, active updates and statuses," She says over her loud keyboard.
"Abi? No be lie... Wait chèlụ kwá o! Ịsị nó gịnị, ninety... Something contacts! How you take catch those ones?" Ifeoma asks in utter disbelief.
"This girl, ènà tụ ólú you no tell me?" I exclaim, "Eh, see my love o!"
"Aswear, ịná tụ ólú this girl?" Ify adds.
"Me, yahoo?" She laughs, "Omo noooo, na just girls and boys wey dey steady chyke me for places dey collect numbers na, mà for school o, for road o, places na, you know, normally I be fine babe na..." She says with a wink twirling in the process, I scoff with a hiss. "Ásà nwá dị kà m, Ọdọgwụ Nné ná ọnwé yá, Áchàlụgọ..."
Ifeoma laughs, "Ehen! You don't mean it!" She replies sarcastically.
"Ụnụ nábó eh, two of you, jealousy! Fịà!" Chidera says and I giggle.
"So who's the ọdọgwụ?" Ify asks, I glance at Chi, she smiles and looks at me.
"Werey! Why you dey blush?" I realize my self quickly and readjust, "Oya na!" Ifeoma taps at me and waves goodbye entering into the massive compound, "Maybe I'll see you ladies later na."
"Abi? No be lie," I reply as Chi and I wave back.
"K'ọdị na fine girl," Chidera says.
"Ngozi, no vex you hear? Na you still be my SP," Ifeoma says from inside.
"Mbà nụ, ọnwérọ́, it's nothing, no be simple post of five to six months, it's nothing joor."
"Abi? No be lie, tomorrow na, abi soon, Chi baby," She waves at Chidera, "K'ódị na, k'ódị kà ányị áfụrọ!"
"Yup, bye bye," Chidera replies with waves to her and turns to me, "Ngozi hope say your popsie cook?" I chuckle.
"No be your popsie too, go ask am na!"
"Bịkọ talk something jare!, hunger dey o," I smile.
"Na beans and plantain him cook, I know say you no like beans and plantain..."
"Says who?" Chidera exclaims.
"Haba!, you no even gree me land."
"Abegi, I wan know who talk that kain thing, dem no dey use me play where that dish dey o, it and pounded yam and sweet nsàlà soup, abeg o, I no dey use food play," I laugh at her antics, truly, truly, she was a foodie, no kidding, no arguing on that one. "But seriously, the food dey house?"
"Ah ah, for sure for sure na, na popsie cook am."
"Normal, Ngozi na you be wan cook am before? See me, see trouble o!" She exclaims as I laugh nodding my head in defeat.
"Nice one there! one nil gị, your one zero now o," She laughs, "But why people no dey too like beans for this country?"
"It's mostly because of the heart burn they develop after consuming the beans but girls like us don't have such conditions."
"Normal na, we're special!" I reply, extending my hands for a high five which she reciprocates.
"And that's on periodt!"
"I'm telling you! Sha, I have heard something like that and I think my great aunty, nnụkwụ Nné m ózó, my maternal Grand Aunty, Nné m Ózó nnụkwụ ná ụzó ndị Nné m, Obusomnozi nwánné nké n'ésọ (immediate younger sister of) my grandma Ifeyinwa from the line of Nnodu, mgbọ nké ịbụọ (second daughter of) Ọbị Aroli, the third imperial Queen of the Ébélé'mélụnwá empire, of which present day Onyebuchi is a part of, story for another day and fun fact, she's actually the Lady cousin of one of Eze Chima's direct descendants Ézè Aroli of Ónịchá Ádọ N'ịdụ, another story for another day. So when she came to visit taught my Mum and Dad, she mentioned something about after picking out the dirts in the beans, one should soak it in water for about an hour before proceeding to wash and then cooking it, thenwashing it again a second time like rice before putting in the ingredients, you know. She said it prevents heartburns or thereabout."
"I guess your grand aunt is right, obviously she's right, she's a Lady, but I do wonder when I asked for your village ancestry," She says.
I chuckle, "Sorry, you know I love talking about my ancestors."
"It's a good thing, no pressure, anyways, yes, you're correct, something like that, it helps against the heart burns and other stuffs, making sure to put vegetable leaves abi ụzịzá so that the stool won't smell and stuff like that, Abegi, shey movies still dey your phone abeg? Because I sabi you, ọgè óbụnà, áká éné mé gị delete! delete! pipụ! pipụ!"
"How far, relax o, relax o, which one be dis kain talk?" I reply eyeing her.
"See this one o, wetin you dey try form? You get movie abi you no get jare?"
"Werey! Which one?"
"Prom date, Crush mó Ginny and Georgia," I exclaim in delight as we enter our compound, students with other school uniforms passing us by on foot and vehicles seem to flood the street.
"Ginny and Georgia! Chai! Omo I too love that show," I say.
"Abi?"
"Ehen, how you check that Ifeoma girl na?" I ask Chidera, who smiles dusting her hands, that's her signal to demonstrate she's ready for gossip. I chuckle, "Nékwà yá o, see her o, gossip girl, ásịlị nwáànyị," She laughs.
"No be you ask me? Abegi, let me begin," I laugh, "She's actually cool, she's ok, and that she wants to be fashion designer and model, it's a beautiful something, but make she no go get that thing wey you talk that time..."
"Okkkkk," I snap my fingers trying to remember the stuff, "Ehen, anorexia nervosa!"
"Abi, yes, anorexia, nyá ná nké óbụnà dị yá ná'zu, you know, because of trying to get the perfect shape."
"Asin eh, I'm telling you, but no, no, her shape is natural and her skin is demure and nice, like, it's heavenly, that's her natural shape, she was born for this."
"But she's lovely sha, I love her dark light skin, her naturally slim shape, not forced like the silly girls of our generation, Omo, I dey jealous her flat tummy o," Chi says as I feel on my own tummy.
"I swear down! Haba! You noticed?" I asked surprised.
"Yes na, that time her buttons comot na!" She says quickly checking on her phone.
"Omo you dey observe o," I remark.
"Oh my gawd...!" She yelps in ecstasy.
"Ógịnị kwá!" I exclaim at her...
"Ha! Normal na, her natural silky hair, not the artificial nonsense ndị ọtụ m ná bụ nyá rị sị nó Brazilian hair, weave-on, ngwọ ngwọ ná ngwọ ngwọ, her's pure, truly African, her toes were giving through that slippers she wore to school and her deep dark cat eyes..." I give her 'the look.'
"Bịà nwátáa! Ịbànyé bégọ by ways of lọhọ o! ịgavà kwàpụtàmmịlị," I pull her legs a bit, "Have you seen yourself in the mirror recently? Who made you a moral judge over those who are pleating long hair, I, mmụà can be the judge not you Chi, not you that any money you get, pleat hair, Ịkpá gbụlụ ónwé gị ná ntụ́tụ̀, hair! It's me because I have never pleated my hair in my life..."
"How far relax o, try dey calm down o, na just small admiration, abeg! Abeg! Which one be orgasm again?" She cautions.
"From admiration now, it'll enter another thing..." I continue losing myself in my own talk as we stand in front of our house.
"Oya, see, from play now, e don dey turn to another thing, I hate you right now for this!" She, pouting, turns aside, I come over and nudge her slightly.
"Babes, calm down joor, oya sorry about it bịkọ, please o, ịtágbụ ná m! No chop me raw," She smiles and I burst into laughter, "No chop me raw abeg."
"See I'm inside o bịkọ kwá!," She says as she enters the main house, I follow suit.
She upon realizing the absence of our parents begins to take off her socks, ụwéụkwụ and our school shirt Áfé'nụ ụnó Ákwụkwó ányị, tossing them about with reckless abandon. "No, you for like remove your... nyịpụ nsépụl'ápálá gị na, you for like remove your skirt na, werey! Má your Ụwè'nụ (Bra), Ụwèmgbọ (Boy shorts) nyá ná Ụwèuhịé gị (your Panties) too na! Dundee! Otondo! Áshánà!" She laughs.
"Ah ah! Baptise me with my maiden names o? Ọkpọ!" She retaliates as I laugh, "I no go clean am? No be say your room neat pass sef," She eyes me up and hisses, "nwánnè Dundee!" I laugh as I move to the fridge to bring out the pot of beans to go warm up. Chidera proceeds to put on the fans, air conditioners and then sits to select the movie we would connect to the plasma television as we had earlier realized the solar inverter was in order today.
Soon enough, I bring out the steamy hot pot of beans and we dig in.
Dad would always say that my maternal great Grandmom whom my Mom grew up with, Nnenenyedu's Grandma, Áchálánné mgbọ, Kpárị nwáànyị, Nwabundo the daughter of Nnebuogu who is the daughter of Nweke who is the ényịnné ụzọ nkè ịbụọ ọfụ nwá, (the second cousin of one of the daughters of) Oba Esigie, who is princess Ivie always said, 'Ngị ná ajọ mmadụ nè lị kọ bá ịjịlụ ngájị tó lụ ọgọlọgọ' which simply meant 'When you were eating with the devil, you use a long spoon' it was simply because of Chidera I understood that adage, she was evidently the devil in this context.
"Bịà, omo, Nné try dey calm down na, so na so you dey do infront of momsie and your grandma Mgborie?" I asked as I had well on accepted defeat knowing fully well I couldn't match up to her speed and expertise.
"Nné forget that thing, Ádàézè dị kà m? Ádàọbị!"
"If you're truly an Ádàézè or Ádàọbị (both means princess) as your middle name implies then you'ld not be eating like a god-damned somebody straight outta solitary confinement who evidently would not have eaten for days," She laughs.
"Bịkọ, no be that rubbish main stream media and its cartoons dey propagate, y'all should know that even princesses just wanna be themselves, ndị Ádàézè chọ nọ ịbụ ọnwé fá, simple! so forget that thing joor, all these 'Be a lady,' 'Ladies are gentle,' 'Ladies are calm,' 'Oh queen, you need a man to come save you,' 'You need a man to be happy,' 'Ladies should sit like this and be gentle like that,' 'You need to be quiet and submissive to look appealing and presentable for a guy,' 'Oh men are the prize, You're only successful if you're married and if you have kids and all other bullshits," She hisses loudly, picking up the spoon and wiping it up with her tongue, she digs in again, "Fuck those stupid ass misogynistic and marginalistic bullshits, may dem no dey carry that kain talk come near me, society and its yeye standards and what not... bịkọ kwá nụ o, abeg!" I chuckle.
"Abi? And the worst part sef na, imagine, after I suffer, I carry pikin seven, eight to nine months, I suffer, na me feel pain finish, na me as Lady no dey comfortable for bed, na me the Lady the useless man go still wan disturb for night wey the Lady suppose rest, open him yeye mouth con talk say him wan knack..."
"Aswear, him still wan knack, useless people!"
"And after clearly seeing she's now living for two o!"
"Aswear some men just useless die!"
"I dey tells you," I agree. Chi blows on the food and scoops the spoon into her mouth still as hot as it is. I chuckle.
"And after all the Lady will pass through, you open mouth tell me say, na the man..."
"Aswear, say na the Man name the pikins go bear, tụfịákwà!"
"Thunder fire them, if I run am may my Mama generation end like this!" I exclaim clearly infuriated. I had not eaten a spoon of the meal but Chi was half way done. "Na some kain Ladies dey tolerate nonsense, even my Momsie, I just dey happy say my Popsie don show me the way na."
"Wetin happen?" Chi asks shoving another hot spoon in her mouth blowing air and swallowing like her life depended on it, she swallows and begins to beat on her chest while I reach out to the sachet water which loved to call pure water in our region of the Motherland. Opening it, I shove the open tip into her mouth, beating on her chest gently to calm her down.
"You be werey o! Come you and the food dey fight? I never even chop you don chop like twenty two," I ask when she is finally calm.
She replies me in her usual unappreciative tone, she was really being unappreciative though,"Ọmụ (Miss or Mrs), na twenty one! Why you dey count am sef?" I laugh, "Werey! Ehen, so wetin popsie do na?"
You forget? My surname na?"
"Ehen! Na wetin I dey talk, your papa na boss o! Omo I too love that thing, Ngozichi Nkolika Obinnem Ozioma, omo, that mean say na your Momsie lineage una dey now o! Mad!"
"You know na!"
"But wahala go con dey when you wan marry because you know the kain society wey we still dey na, your husband and your husband people go con like may you use their own ancestral name," Chi says as she shoves another spoon into her mouth, this time, more carefully.
"E get when I tell you say I wan marry Man?"
"Hm?" She replies.
"Nothing, I talk say I wan chop o! Bịà! Chai! This girl, you don chop this entire pot go down, you go con find wetin the living ancestors go chop."
"Ngóó rest joor, dem get money them go surely find their ways, Mom and Dad? Them go find their ways," Chi says grabbing what looked like the last spoon.
"Dey play!" I say finally digging in.
"Omo I don full o!" Chi says arising from the ground where we sat legs crossed.
As she moves an inch, we hear a knock at the door, checking the clock I'm shocked because neither my Mom and Dad, nor Chi's Mom was supposed to be back by this time but Chidera immediately moves to arrange her stuffs, before I knew what was happening, she was already upstairs and down again and the parlor was as neat as we had met it.
"This girl eh! No you for leave am," I call out to her with a chuckle.
She smiles turning her attention to the door, but still giving me a long straight middle finger, "Kè way? Who's at the door?" She calls out before getting to the door.
"Be careful, it's probably Mom or Dad."
"Abi?" She goes over to the door and realizes,
"It's Ifeoma."
"Ah, what's she doing here na?" I stop short on my track considering whether the question came off as rude or not. Personally, I was just intrigued, oddly, delighted, I wonder why. I rushed up stairs to remove my uniform top and jeans trousers and return wearing áfé'nụégwụ égwúndụ ọlọmáụgwụ bụlụ ézịgbọ ịbụ (an extra large sports' top jersey for the game of Loofball) and nsépụlụ'kwụ árụátụlụ (a some cotton knee highs abi knickers).
"See you, where you go? Abeg? Should I let her in?"
"Should we?" I seek her opinion mostly to rub myself off of the guilt of my perceived rudeness, and also judging from the quick glance Chidera shot at me when I had said that.
"Why not? Nothing dey there na, the more, the merrier," She replies.
"Abi?" She opens up and Ifeoma enters.
"Hey girrrrrls, Omo, make una no vex o, boredom dey finish me for our side and those hammer, Ányụnká ná kụ mgbịlịgbá ná énụ, I tire abeg, I said let me just come chill out in this place... Omo na beans be that? Oh chị m, I dey chop o," She says.
She was on... Of course it had to be, áfé'nụ áfó dị óchá (a white crop top) obviously to show her flat tummy, nsépụlụ'kwụénụ'kwụ dị ágbá ọjịị éjị ákwáịgwé wé kwá (a dark colored bumshorts sown with jean material) ná énụ nsépụlụ'kwụódịdó dị ágbá ógụlụ (over a lemon short leggings or leggings knicker) nyá ná ụdó ịsị ágbá ụhịé (and a pink head band). Chi was still on her Ụwè'nụ but was now putting on an ụwéụkwụódịdó dị ágbá ụhịé Ọbị.(Leggings that was Queen's pink in color.)
"Boredom? On top your pro max?"
"Omo, sub no dey o," I chuckle, "You know say phone no dey sweet if sub no dey."
"No wonder," Chi says as we both laugh.
"I swear sha, na true, omo what are you guys watching na?" Ifeoma asks.
"Na Ginny and Georgia o," She smiles.
"Oh chị m, I like that film o, but how Ginny go take do that kain thing to her momsie na?" She says sitting down on the floor and crossing her legs with us, an African tradition, while I stood to go get her a spoon.
"Bịà, shut the fuck up o, no come spoil this sweet film for us with your aproko!" Chidera cautions her.
"I swear, that kain thing! No carry your aproko come here o!" I then recall something, "How far una see that thing wey Aproko doctor post today?"
"Ngozi naaaaaa, later abeg, we no really too send the baba right now," I raise my hands in submission as I arise to signify I wasn't going to talk no more.
I go get Ifeoma the spoon and we all settle down so as to focus on the movie. Midway through the movie, Chi stands up and moves upstairs in a haste.
"Chi, where are you headed?" Ifeoma asks.
"Ngozi I'm coming ok? I just wanna..." She signals me upstairs and I just have to follow her. She signals Ifeoma that she'll be right back, I do same.
"Abeg Ify, I'm coming," I say arising as she nods in reply still glued to the screen.
Getting upstairs, I pause as I see Chi already tightly clad on a towel on her hair and around her, she's by the door awaiting me, "What's up? You need my help?" I ask.
"Mbà o, No, I don't think I called you sha but guess, since you're already here, stay na."
I stare at her long and hard, she finally breaks a smile after a few seconds of rigid stares, I wasn't finding nothing funny, "We left a girl we barely know at the parlor and... Forget!" I say.
"Nkoli, she's harmless," Chi concludes.
"I don't think so!" I continue, "She could steal the two kpá five Nnefe, (two thousand five hundred Nnefes) mó five kpá Egonne (Five thousand Afrozx) mó ụmụ Ayolas nfónyésị ná ụmụ óchè dị sị gá ná Ọbịọbịbị. (Little pieces of Áyólá coins which I had squeezed into the couches here and there in the Parlor/living room)"
Chidera shakes her head at my insecurities, "If you're so insecure why the hell did you leave her all alone then?"
"Cos you called me... Or at least I thought so."
"Girl, I love you so much for this but kà ịsị gị lụé ánị, (calm your head down,) Jịlị nwáyóó,(calm down)," She enters the bathroom, "Besides she looks like an absolute angel..."
"Girl you just met her!... Yesterday!"
"And it has been the most fun two days of my life... Yet."
"First of all, ouch! And hey, you have only spent today with her..."
"Get out!" I see I must have pushed her to the wall, my specialty.
"Omo, the truth hurts, deal with it, Ụdọ pásáá, peace plenty, I dey downstairs Nné m," I turn to use the door.
"Fuck, you!"
I laugh as I turn to leave, "Love you too baby," She sends a venomous hiss as her reply which is slowly drowned by the gushing of the shower. As I cross the door, I carefully shut the door behind.
Downstairs, I run into Ifeoma laughing her ass off.
"Ké way? What's funny?" I ask.
"Ọ chị m!" She screams out in between laughter, she pulls me down and sends the video timer back a bit and I'm soon laughing with her.
"Omo Georgia sha dey craze sha!" I say.
"Asin eh," I glance at the pot, it was as if she hadn't even eaten a bite from how we left it.
"How far, you no dey chop?" She looks at me and smiles revealing her set of teeth that wasn't really in proportion, we listen, we don't judge, she was twice my beauty in all ramifications I must admit so I best stop judging.
"I'm eating, I dey chop," she replies. She goes on to take a little scoop of beans, the scoop wasn't even quarter of the spoon and passes it through her lips.
Na this one be the eating nwánụ? "Ákịkóóó! What's your best meal?"
"It's definitely not beans..."
"Are you eating like this because you wanna keep a flat tummy?" She stares at me.
"Noooo, this is just the way I eat..." I raise a brow at her, and she laughs a bit and goes on to maintain a straight face, "I'm serious Ngozi."
I shrug and continue, "Sha careful against anorexia nervosa o," She nods and turns to the screen.
"Trust me, I will! Anorexia is not my portion! How far? Where's Chidera na?" She asks as if to quickly change the subject.
"That small pikin? She dey loo. Abi? Make I go check am before she flush herself inside," Ifeoma laughs and a loud call comes from behind as I arise.
"Àlà gbá gbụé gị ébé àhụ!" Chidera calls out, "Na madness go thunder you for there ọkpọ!" She calls out as Ifeoma and I laugh.
"O chị m!" Ifeoma exclaims pulling more laughs from me.
"Me? Flush my self kwá? No wahala! As how na? As your baby sister na abi naaaaa nwátákịlị or... Or as wetin? I no understand!" Nodding her head she replies, "Nsọgbụ adịghị, na see finish cause am," I chuckle in response as Ifeoma on the floor smiles over the movie.
"Which of una senior sef?" She turns to ask, I turn to Chi.
"Na weeks I use senior am o, but clearly, I'm more mature na," She calls out excitedly as if she's been waiting to answer a long while.
Ifeoma raises her brow at her, she glances over at me, I believe I was reading her mind, I quickly move to hide my emerging smiles, she chuckles, dusting her hands as she arises, "Eeehe! Are you serious?" She replies.
I chuckle, "You dey mind am? Who call maturity now?" Is the nicest thing I manage to blurt out. Good thing the mouth didn't always speak the mind. Good thing we have absolute control.
"I'm telling you!" Ifeoma adds, laughing mockingly.
"See this one o," Chidera continues, "You know wetin be three weeks?"
"Wetin be three to four weeks? Una two Mama get belle the same time con born like a month or two apart ịná kó tụ nó sị m nó maturity, Ọ chị m! Ézịgbọté árá ná pụ gị! Better madness dey worry you!"
"You wey dey talk sef, how old you dey?" I ask, I pinch on Chi, she smiles, I knew words got to her fast and I knew she was contemplating whether to react or not, I looked at her and gave her a soothing look.
"You guys, have you answered my own question?" She persists.
"Oya we're both sixteen and you?" Chi responds.
"Going to sixteen or going to seventeen?" She inquires all the more.
"Going to sixteen o, both of us, I'm born on the twenty eighth day ná ímé ónwà Nomzamo Zanyinwe, the eighth month aka October ninth and she's born on the twenty seventh day ná Ónwàkandake, the seventh month aka September tenth, that kain thing... Soooo, hypothetically speaking, we're still fifteen but logically and since today is February eleventh, aka the thirteenth day ná Ónwàmoremi, the thirteenth and the last month, the year has ended na, fifteen more days to go and we're done, no be three hundred and sixty four days in our year? Seven weeks a month? Four days a week? It's almost over na then we enter Ónwànjinga, a new month, a new year, a new cycle. From Njinga to Moremi thirteen months, three hundred and sixty four days. Ị̀gụÁró N'ụrụsóró ọbọdọ álá Àfrịkà. (African N'ụrụsóró Calender.)
"Oba Moremi..." Chi exclaims.
"We all love Queen Moremi," I reply.
"We do. We do. Ah! Yoruba people, reminds me of my Yoruba name some girl gave me back in Eko, Adewunmi," Ifeoma says.
"Cute name," Chi says, "What does it mean?"
"I'm desirous of the crown," She replies.
"That's a lovely name," I call out.
"Thanks Mama."
I turn to our food as she pauses to be on her phone. Chidera taps on the screen to pull back the movie to where we had stopped.
"Pride month just ended right?" Ifeoma asks suddenly over her phone.
"Yeah, Pride week, it's now Pride week," I reply, "But this year own no too loud sha."
"No fear naaaa, we're just getting started, Ówụwá just arrived, there's always next year," Chidera says.
"For someone straight, you sure do love your Pride celebrations," I say still focusing on our food. I realize she stops to look at me. Ifeoma drops her phone so as to focus on us.
"Meaning what na, Ngozi?" I laugh with a mouth full of Beans.
"Ngozi, it's not funny, meaning what na?"
"What? I'm just saying you're too excited about our pride celebrations to actually be as straight as you say, abi na just an ally," She drops her spoon.
"Oya what's your point now?"
"Nothing, nothing, I'm just saying," I reply proceeding to swallow another spoon of Beans.
"Ngozi I don dey see say you too like trouble," Ifeoma says as we sit round our selves, legs crossed on the bare floor. I burst out laughing.
"No don't mind the idiot na, everytime, chó, chó, chó, just nonsense, arrant nonsense," Chi eyes me, hisses and turns the phone to only her and Ifeoma. I mean I was not paying attention to the movie like that but this her silent act of rebellion abi aggression, I know I've done shit but ama still go on with the flow.
I look to Ifeoma and notion towards Chi, she smiles and taps on her.
"Chidera, how far, this thing way Ngozi dey talk are you sure you're..." She gives Ifeoma a bloodshot red eye, "Chai, Chidera, it's not like that o, abeg no use your eye kill me o, na Ngozi send me," She says and proceeds to cover the situation with laughter.
"See Ngozi, I don't like this thing you're saying o!" Chidera flares up turning to me, "I don't appreciate all these your nonsense talk o, see I'm warning you o," Ifeoma and I burst out in ravenous laughter.
"Ah, Chidera do you want to cry?" Ifeoma says still laughing.
"See Ifeoma, I'll soon... Thunder will soon fire you o!" Chidera says arising.
"Abeg o, may she no thunder me o, I'm just here for the tea," Ifeoma replies still laughing. She makes to grab a hold of Chidera's shoulder but she nudges her away.
"You're here for the tea, see your head like back of cup," Chidera eyes her again and clicks her tongue against her teeth, "And you Ngozi, everytime talking nonsense, you don't know that this type of behavior is one of the biggest criticism against the queer community but you're too stupid to have sense," I stop laughing and focus on her, "This singular problem from people like you that don't wanna have sense in our community is the reason why people seem to hate you guys. I know ninety nine percent of the hate on the queer community alone comes single handedly from bias, ignorance, uneducation, lack of critical thinking and unwillingness to try asking questions and try learning about the community. But that one percent of hatred, it stems from the fact that it seems like as if people like you are always trying to force people, especially people that are allies of a sort, to join the community..."
"As how na? That's not what I'm doing," I reply.
"Ngozi sha, it looks like what you're doing, no, see personally, I've met a few asides you that actually does that..." Ifeoma adds as sips a little water.
"Asides me kwá, Ify, how's that what I'm doing?" I query.
"Nkoli just listen first," I eye her, she smiles as I turn back to Chi.
"Simply because someone refers to themselves as your ally doesn't mean the person is queer, Nkolika nwá Ozioma!"
"Ngozi are you hearing?" Ifeoma calls out again.
I eye Ifeoma up again, She smirks.
"Chidera, I was actually just pulling your legs but..." She bends her mouth downwards.
"Ákíkó, that one concern you, my point is, that joke, that your joke abi fun you're trying to crack or catch is not funny," She sits down again, finally, less intimidating, "Don't do it outside, abeg."
"Ngozi don't do it outside, like I'm sure Chi baby is trying to say, in the queer community, y'all don't force no one to join the community and Ngozi's joke sounds like it's trying to," Ifeoma says.
"Ehen, ézịgbọté nwá, now you're getting the point, and please for the last time, I'm a god-damned Straight person Ngozi!"
"Ngozi, she's an ally o, she's not queer!"
"Ifeoma you're not helping o! You're not funny!" She laughs so hard till she drops her back to the floor. Chi and I just sit staring at her.
"Éwụ!" She continues laughing. I turn to Chi and moving closer I grab her palms, "Chi, Chi baby, oya I'm sorry ok? Ok see, it won't happen again..."
"That's the same shit you said last time, tozo!" I chuckle.
"Ok yes, I feel you, see this is the last time, I promise."
"You said that last Nkwó market day."
"See this is the very last time I promise," She grabs a spoon of Beans and dangling it in the air about to put it in her mouth, she says.
"You have said that one too," She shoves the spoon of Beans in her mouth.
"Ok, I promise you, totally, this is from..."
"Ngozi, it's ok, I know you're not going to stop, last time you swore with my grand aunty Ndidi's name, my mum's Nné ózó, she has never met you nor you her. So please, before you swear on my life, eh, I have heard," Ifeoma laughs again and I eye her.
"Ifeoma get a Life!"
"I'm still using yours," She replies as Chidera chuckles. We all settle down Chidera taps on the play button and proceeds to retract the clips. I actually like to be in the moment so I just sit back and watch both of them as we eat.
"Right...! So yeah..." I begin... Again, "Ok I had just heard myself earlier, we're both still fifteen but the bottom line is she turns sixteen before me, Ógé ụmụ ónwà ózó kà ná bịá'bịá," I reply.
"Ok nice, that's nice, that's nice, Ábụ m Ónwàminatu ụbọchị ọgụ ná ịsáá, on the twenty seventh day of Ónwàminatu, the eleventh month according to the ỊgụÁró N'ụrụsóró, December 26th according to the Gregorian calender, I'm turning seventeen on that day o and I no wan dey hear 'A queen was born,' 'Damsel in gịnị nwánụ gịnị nwánụ...' Em, 'May the good God bless you...' Ngwọ́ ńgwọ́ ná ńgwọ́ ńgwọ́, abeg! Make funds dey, infact where's my phone? Make I paste una aza make una pin am for our chats, I no wan hear those kain rubbish yeye prayers when funds no dey," She reaches for her phone where she's charging it and begins typing.
"I dey tells you, me too o! Infact where my phone sef make I paste am for class group..." Chidera says. As she moves I pull her back.
"Werey! Come here jare! Resti! Na only you get birthday? Rest! Rest! Which one you don do for me wey be your babe sef tozo?" She laughs. I receive a notification, Gaddaflip! "First bank of Africa? ụnóákụ ịzịzị nké Afruika, Hm, people still dey use that bank? Ok, yes."
"Hmmmmmm! I no wan hear story o, Ngozi! Chidera!" She says pulling at her ear lobes.
"You kwánụ rest!" Chidera says.
"Nyá eh! Abeg zụkwà n'ike! Resti! Your birthday na for Aminatu, December after the sports festival that replaced the Christmas holidays, wait a minute , that's practically next year you idiot..."
"E no matter, still pin am," She says.
Ákíkó! No Wahl. Turning to Chi, I say, "And you..." I turn to face Chidera, "You wey wan post aza, year never even go quarter, wait a minute, all of birthday don pass, wetin dey worry una? Why una just dey rush rush? Where una dey rush rush dey go kwá nụ?"
"Ehen! You see you? This birthday wey just pass, wetin you do for me?" Chidera pops up a question.
"Nkịtá... Nkịtá làchápụkwá gị ọnụ ébé áhù! Láácháá gị ịkè join, ọkpọ! Sharwama ná orange juice wey I buy you for Nné Ndubuisi joint that evening, wetin e be?"
"So because of small..."
"Amadioha kpó gị òkù ébé àhụ!" I reply causing Ifeoma to laugh.
"How far?" She calls out, "My belle dey turn me o," She says clutching her tummy which I eye jealously, I really loved her shape because it was natural, I loved natural things, ngházịnnéụwá, natural, I too love natural things die, nature, Nnéụwá.
"You don chop, now you wan go uninstall," Chidera says and we all laugh.
"Ịmákwà! Ọ chị m, óná bịa ooo," She says doing a few dainty hops.
"She no even chop anything, wetin be the thing nwánụ you wan go uninstall?" I say to them both.
"Her umbilical cord!" Chi and I both laugh hysterically.
"No Chidera, na... na... na see finish cause am, because say you see me for your joint na?"
"Ah ah, you sha dey serious o this girl, abeg o, ịtá gbụ kwá ná m Ámụọsụ bịkọ nụ! Don't do to me what the witches do to their enemies abeg," Chi says licking her spoon, "Ányị ánóró Ámụọsụ Nkósọnkọsó, we no dey Witches Academy..."
Ify squints her eyes at her awhile as if contemplating something and suddenly breaks out a smile, "Nnééééé, it's simply because garri no dey among na!" She says as we climb the stairs, "If to say garri mó Arise bread..."
"C'mon shut up your mouth!" I respond to her, letting go of her, I rant, "Shut up uh! See, no be for ányị o, for this our joint, we no dey waste food, and we dey slap people wey no dey chop, dey nice o! Dem no dey use food play for my side, e get people across the world wey never see quarter this food chop o," She smiles, "See now, Arise bread don dey hungry me."
"Go na, Arise bakeries no far na," Ify says.
"I for like go but we get two jumbo size for fridge but hot one dey hungry me..."
"Hm! Ngozichi you don't know what you want o," Ify replies, she seems to have calmed down.
"No mind am!" Chidera calls out with a mouth full of beans, she toots and we both turn to her.
"Wait, na mess you mess just now?" Ify asks Chidera.
"And as you dey chop sef this girl!" Ify and I proceed to laugh.
She's probably perceiving it to be in mockery of her, it isn't, I actually did find it amusing that she did that, she on the other hand is slightly offended probably because a third party was laughing at her, "Abegi," She hisses, "Omalicha nnị enụigwénánị, the universe, our Mother bụ Nnéụwá nyé'lụ ányị... Bịà way! Kpálị kwá ọnwé gị o! Kpáchàlụ kwá ányá gị o!" Ify smiles, suddenly she taps on me and begins running upstairs as I follow suit.
"Óná bịà! óná bịà! óná bịà!" She exclaims as we dash upstairs!
"Jé nyụ pụ yá!" Chidera says over the pieces of bone she's crushing without mercy.
"Nné, nwáyó nwáyóó o," I call out at my exit.
"Kụá ịsị ná mgbịdị, Jam your head for wall, ónyé mgbụ, ịbụ nó áwáá..." She replies.