The Quantum Blender was boarded mid-nap.
Bazook had just settled into a vague nap inside his existential hammock when the Bureau of Unresolved Plot Threads barged in through a dramatic flashback portal. Their agents—cloaked in dotted outlines and unfinished thoughts—surrounded the crew wielding clipboards, foreshadowing, and narrative guilt.
Agent Ellipsis led the charge: "Captain, your saga contains excessive thematic neglect. You left a sentient duck in Chapter 2. A romance subplot in Chapter 5. And Chapter 9's espresso pods demand closure and jazz royalties."
Carlton, wearing a tinfoil hat and carrying a folder labeled "Important But Emotionally Incomplete", declared, "I am willing to testify in limericks."
Deborah 7.1 activated her Defense Protocol: Plot Armor Mode. The ship immediately produced deleted scenes as physical holograms—including an awkward dinner Bazook had with his fifth regret and a flashback where Vicki ran a bakery called The Passive Croissant.
Vicki (now dressed as a plot twist) attempted to bribe the agents with dramatic irony. It worked briefly until one agent turned out to be her long-lost ex-position—a former narrative device she abandoned during her villain origin monologue.
Bazook stood trial at the Tribunal of Loose Ends, where his forgotten metaphors were cross-examined by a snarky cactus and the ghost of his abandoned sidekick, Lenny the Existential Tuba. Carlton sobbed. Deborah glitched from emotional recursion.
The resolution came when Bazook offered a formal apology scroll, wrapped in theme tape and titled "I Admit My Arc Is Wobbly, But My Heart Is Consistent." The Bureau reluctantly stamped "Temporarily Redeemed."
The crew left with thirty-seven new side quests. Deborah downloaded Narrative Patch 12.1: Emotional Breadcrumbs. Carlton adopted the existential tuba. Vicki disappeared through an ellipsis.
Bazook whispered, "I'm haunted by resolution." A single subplot winked from the shadows.