I was standing on the second floor near a large carved black stone door.
(Fuck, they're huge! How the hell do you open this thing? HEY YOU THERE!!! BRING A RAM!!!) I thought, approaching them, when suddenly the gate slowly, but not too slowly, opened.
(Automatic doors? No way, that's cool) - I thought to myself as I entered the office. - (OH FUCK ME IN THE MOUTH!!!)
It's not just huge, it's HUGE!!!
(Spatial magic, right, Dad? Not bad.)
The office was rectangular in shape, with a large fireplace blazing at the far end. The walls were decorated with black and white marble columns and bas-reliefs as tall as me, depicting naked girls with angel wings and long horns, holding spears, whips, staffs and many other things. They were dressed in armour similar to breastplates, and at their feet were people, demons and... nekis? moaning in pain.
"Hmm, Gothic style with a touch of late Amper. I like it!" I decided to take a closer look at the bas-reliefs, as they were so... interesting.
Suddenly, one of the girls turned her head, winked, and waved her hand, raising her spear high and giving me a magical kiss!
"AH, YOU FUCKING DIGGER!!!" I jumped back in surprise, and the girl burst out laughing, though I couldn't hear her. Recovering from the shock, I approached her again.
She stopped laughing and clutching her stomach, stood up straight and hit her chest with her fist, kneeling down.
"You're cute." When I said that, the girl seemed to blush and shyly began to fidget with her foot on the floor or the corpses. What was she imagining there? "Let me hug you!"
Saying this, I ran my hand over the cold stone, tracing the outline of the girl's body, which made her freeze for a moment, but then she began to push herself against my hand. She let me stroke her lush breasts, her delicate, toned stomach, and as a bonus, she stuck her bottom out and started slapping it and beckoning me with her finger.
Well, I couldn't refuse her, and I patted her a little, which was strange, but the stone seemed... alive, and very pleasant to the touch. Running my hand from her buttocks to her sacred place and massaging it a little, the girl shuddered several times and sat down exhausted. She looked at me with loving eyes, which were now shining with hearts.
"Do you have a name?"
The girl lowered her eyes and shook her head as if to say "No."
"Then I'll call you... Ril? Do you like it?" The girl nodded energetically and started jumping up and down on the spot. She was cute after all.
Then I felt envious glances from all sides and, turning around timidly, saw... that all the other girls were looking at me expectantly from every wall, with pleading eyes.
"Fuck, Dad, you know what to leave, right?" I muttered.
About 45 minutes later, when I had already served all the beauties and acquired another column in my trousers, I had acquired 20 bar girls and used up all my supply of female names.
Am I a lord or a sorceress?
Speaking of these bar girls (bas-relief girls), they turned out to be my personal bodyguards, the security of my office and the surveillance system in my house.
In short, as soon as I think about danger, they can instantly jump out of their frames or pull out their weapons to their full length, so anyone who decides to get close to the wall is out of luck. And Anji, Delina, Maria, Eli and Dara, who are skilled with bows, can shoot like machine guns with stone arrows, and very skilfully at that.
Now, about surveillance. In short, all I have to do is wish it, and I can see any place in the house, no matter where it is, with my own eyes. It's very convenient, and I can change the viewing angle as I please.
In general, my office is something like a command centre, and as I found out, almost all the statues in my house are alive, hmm... that's unexpected, considering the fact that I can also take control of each of them. The same goes for the rooms. I can isolate or remodel each one, or even disguise them so that no one can see anything at all.
And I figured all this out in five minutes! Damn, what kind of monster am I?!
I sat down in a luxurious armchair at a table made of shiny black stone and looked around.
At the opposite end, there was a fireplace where, unsurprisingly, lava was flowing, and a high ceiling with... the night sky? Or a galaxy? In general, celestial bodies or simply shining spheres rotating in orbit, emitting a pleasant light that was very soothing. It was obvious that my mother had put a lot of effort into this.
Columns of black and white marble, along which... lightning bolts ran? Or something like that. There was also a rectangular table made of black, but matte-coloured wood, surrounded by dark wooden chairs that looked very impressive, like mini-thrones.
And near the walls were leather sofas and armchairs.
There were no windows, but why would I need them when every bas-relief could show me anything I wanted? Exactly, no need!
The table I was sitting at seemed to tower above the rest, and the chair I was sitting in was a throne... literally...a large stone throne that fit me perfectly. I swear I refuse to get off it, plus the shape of this throne chair resembled a sleeping stone dragon or a gargoyle from Dark Souls! And when I sat down on it, I swear on my balls that I heard it sigh, and one of its eyes opened slightly! Apparently, everything in this office was designed to protect me at any moment. Cool! Now you can invite demons here, they'll die quickly anyway... I won't give them a chance to escape...
So, back to the table. I stood there for about 10 minutes, not knowing what to do with it, until I picked it up and smashed it in anger.
(BAM)
The table made a hollow sound and... activated! Holograms appeared before my eyes, like in an anime, showing my house, its structure, its population, and other statistics. There were also many menus, ranging from a library to weapons and a laboratory, as well as a treasure trove!
I tapped it without thinking... and... and... and... it was empty... Hmm, what did I want? Was it going to be a barn filled to the brim with money?
Disappointed, I closed the menu and noticed a glowing message in my cap.
"Strange," I said, clicking on it, when suddenly a hologram appeared in front of me...
"Actor Pandora zu Ihren Diensten der junge Herr (at your service, young sir)!!!" Actor Pandora saluted and bowed.
(Fuck, Dad, are you kidding me? Why the hell do I need this fascist? Is this my legacy, or did you just dump your problem on me?!) I began to ask myself.
***
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