Standing at the edge of that godforsaken orphanage, freshly booted out like last week's trash, I had an existential moment.Deep stuff, like: "Do I squat in my new rat hole now or wait for System Calibration to finish?"
Obviously, I chose to wait.
Only four bloody hours left. Easy.After surviving two years of literal HELL, what's another couple hours of freezing my whiskers off?
Let me rephrase: my patience had gone from "iron-willed orphan" to "adamantine-core warlord."Either you get tougher or you go nuts. I had Gamer's Mind to block insanity, so I just got meaner. Lucky me.
There were moments I wanted to tear off the damn Seal and let the Fox loose for a joyride — maybe snack on a few pedestrians.But alas, I had no damn clue how to rip that thing open. Minor detail.
And no, the orphanage wasn't Hell. Hell was nice compared to what came before that.At the orphanage, you got standard-issue hate, fear, and disgust from every adult. Like, textbook child abuse.The kids? Miniature copycats. No imagination.
But the real Hell?The newborn ward at the hospital.Strap in.
Imagine this:You're swaddled so tight, Houdini couldn't wiggle a toe.Flat on your back. Bland-ass white ceiling. No windows. No sounds but 24/7 screeches from demon-spawn infants.Human voices? Rare AF.Most staff operated like mute serial killers with a fetish for "Oops, forgot to change you again."
And when someone did speak to me, it was some underpaid hag explaining how I was worse than the shit in my own diaper.That was the highlight of my day.
[SYSTEM MESSAGE]New Trait Gained: [Baby's First PTSD]
I mean, sure, Kurama nuked their families. I get it.But instead of punching the Nine-Tails in the snout, they decided to emotionally waterboard a goddamn infant.Bravo, Konoha. Real classy.
By the time I hit the orphanage, I had:
– Detailed plans for world domination– A wish list for my personal harem– Enough revenge fantasies to make a Yamanaka cry
Fun fact: Driving ANBU agents batshit became a personal hobby.
Like this one night: complete silence.Then outta nowhere—
"MU-HA-HA-HA-HA!"
Cue panic.Shinobi kicking down doors like it's Black Ops 3.Of course, they find nothing but snoozing babies and a suspiciously smug me.
[SYSTEM]+5 Stealth XP. +2 Trolling.
Then came my masterpiece: the creepy Orochimaru chuckle.I'd practiced that shit for weeks.
"Ku-ku-ku-ku-ku…"
ANBU paranoia levels? Maxed out.Pretty sure one of them started carrying holy water.
My crowning achievement?Glaring at a sadistic nurse until she passed out.True story.
She once "accidentally" dropped me, but her grin gave her away.I channeled my inner Gin Ichimaru, sliced a finger across my throat with a smile and—boom—she hit the floor like a sack of traitor potatoes.
Security rushed in. I played the "confused baby" act.Clapped like a moron.Didn't work. They ran a full body check like I was smuggling bombs in my ass.
Eight hours later:– Tests done– Sanity intact (barely)– Even the Yamanaka noped out of my head faster than I could say "Shunshin"
Still don't know what freaked him out more — the Fox or my plans for nurse dismemberment.
Somehow, I dodged being dissected by Root and got dumped back in the hellhole hospital.One more month till the orphanage. Yay.
At the orphanage? Pretty standard.Adults hated me quietly, kids tried to beat me up.After a few dozen broken noses and a tooth fairy overwork crisis, we reached a nice:
"Fuck around and find out" equilibrium.
Of course, every punch I threw earned me triple the punishment.Fairness? Ha.But it was worth it — I healed overnight, they didn't.
[SYSTEM UPDATE]Trait Gained: [Regen God Mode]?Source: ??? (Fox or Game Engine).Who cares. Still OP.
And just when I thought I'd get a quiet night...Mosquito genocide began.
Apparently, hospitals had bug protection. Orphanages? Nah. Budget cuts.Result? I turned my room into a goddamn war zone every eveni
[SYSTEM]New Daily Quest: Slay 100 Bloodsucking BastardsReward: Peaceful Sleep
Then, right on cue, Mr. Asshole-in-Charge screamed:
"GET LOST, DEMON!"—KICK!
Aaaand that's how I left my humble abode.Kicked out like Satan from heaven.
No problem. I'll remember. I always remember.I am vengeance, motherfucker.
Was hoping for a neat intro quest like:
"Get home without dying."
Maybe score a new skill or two along the way.Nope.Just a boring ass walk.
Got to the apartment.No mobs. No drama.Disappointing, really.
The place? Shithole with a capital S.Lock was a joke. Door looked like it lost a fight with a Chunin.Furniture was older than the Shodaime.Dust? You could summon a Sand clone out of it.
Only good part? The view.Yay.
[SYSTEM]New Passive Acquired: [Low Standards]
Cleaned up the dump. Glanced at the countdown — forty minutes left until calibration completes.
Dropped onto the bed. Closed my eyes.
Next stop? Level 1.But I ain't starting weak.
Hell's already shaped me into a monster.
And the Game?
Time to break it.