I awoke in an embrace. My recognition arose as his scent reached and fused with my inhale—Calix's. I felt him shift, as I froze—unmoving.
He groaned raspily, "Lynn? You awake?.."
His voice was deep and hoarse, yet I could feel the weight of his heart on my name. My voice was caught in my throat—a cage. All I could hear, feel—the sound, vibration of his voice when he speaks, and my own heartbeat.
A sense of deja vu.
"Aslynne?"
He propped himself up on his elbow as his shoulder pressed onto me furthermore, and his messy bed-head popped up in my view. I glanced at him shyly. He brought his hand up to my forehead as he frowned.
"You okay?" he asks, confused as he noticed there was nothing alarming about my body temperature.
I nod diffidently, "yeah, just.. still not really used to this.." I admit honestly. He chuckles light-heartedly at my admission.
"You are adorable," he coos. I hid my face in his chest as I felt my cheeks warming.
He holds me gently as he strokes my hair gently, patiently waiting for my shyness to defuse. Once it did, I retracted my head, and rolled my body as his hold loosened, letting me leave. I sat up, kneading my eyes as I heard him shift behind me.
I spun my head around to see Calix in a sat position as well, his legs crossed as his hair strands were heading in every direction. I laughed hysterically at his appearance, and he grabbed his phone to see his reflection before laughing along at his own ridiculous appearance.
"I would never get used to that," I say in between breaths and laughter.
He continued, "me neither," and our laughter intensified.
By the time we calmed, my hand rested on my stomach as I forcibly stopped my laughter due to my stomach cramping up. I breathe heavily as the pain begins to ease—only to rise when my eyes catch Calix's appearance again.
I spun my body around, standing up while my back faced Calix. I breathed deeply, gaining composure before I lost it once again and began an uncontrollable fit of laughter. My stomach rests as the tension fades away.
I headed to the bathroom, grabbing my freshly bought toothbrush that settled on its holder beside Calix's. I smiled, feeling frivolous as I stuck the toothbrush in my mouth and began to clean its tenants.
Once I completed my morning routine—with a single exception, I left the bathroom to see Calix scribbling on a paper. His head lifted as he sensed my presence.
"I'm gonna go to my room to shower, then I'll return, 'kay?" I say, and he nods.
"Okay, uhm, you might wanna bring some of your clothes here.." he says, a tinge of red hue painting his cheeks.
As I cognized his words and intentions, I could sense a similar hue coating my own as I let out a soft noise of acknowledgement before hurriedly leaving his room in shyness.
I heard him call out before the door closed, "be quick!" he shouts, and I lightly laugh at his impatience.
525
I knocked on his door, before inserting the pin.
0601, I smiled to myself.
I carefully twisted the knob as I pushed on it, peeking my head first before entering the room quietly. It was empty, and I was muddled. "Calix?.." I softly call out.
"I told you already, you don't have to knock.. just come in," Calix's deep voice pierced through my hearing as I felt his arms around me from behind. His scent wafts over the air—over me. I leaned back into him, closing my eyes as I subsumed the moment into my memory storage.
I felt a drop of water soak through the fabric on my shoulder. "You showered," I stated, in question of confirmation.
"Mhm," he says, resting his head on top of mine.
I reached my hand up, pressing onto his neck lightly, "you're heavy.. get off!" I elongated the ending letter of both sentences as I laughed when he pressed his head further, adding to his weight.
"Don't wanna," he says, extending his last syllable.
I mustered strength as I broke out of his hold and ran to his bed, before plopping myself on it, "I win!" I say, laughing carelessly as Calix entered my personal space and began to tickle me.
"Oh no you don't," he says, a devilish smile coating his expression.
By the end of the hour, we laid on the bed, breathless as the euphoria left us high, the ambience fed with our happiness.
"I'm bored," I state, rolling over towards Calix.
He does the same, "me too."
Our bodies were at a close proximity. I watched as his face blanks while he thinks, and the way his eyes roam everywhere as though he'd entered another world when he thinks, roaming and approaching each ample idea. Then, his eyebrows rise with his lip in unison, as his eyes extend due to that, and his mouth opens.
"I know! Let's bake," he says to me, grinning.
I sat up, "bake what?"
He sat up, "I don't know, but I think I have the ingredients to make cookies." He says, slipping off the bed as he heads towards the receptacle of food ingredients.
"I have no idea how to bake," I say honestly.
He chuckles, "well, do you want to?" he asks, his head rotating towards me for my answer.
"Of course I do!" my heart speaks through my voice.
He returns his head towards the ingredients, "then it's fine. I know how to bake, so I'll guide you, hm?" he assures calmly. I stare at him confounded.
This man could do anything.
"Lowkey, I wouldn't be surprised if you say you could play the piano or something at this point." I mutter, mainly towards myself than the person directed
He laughs lightly, "I can't play the piano, but I know my way around electric guitars a little."
My jaw dropped, he'd dropped the bomb.
I approached him, "wait, Calix, you dropped something." I warned him, my eyes shooting at the ground as he followed my gaze bemused.
My eyes rose up at him along with my hand, "my heart." I revealed the heart-shaped fingers of my thumb and forefinger linked together.
He snorted as he covered his mouth and spun away from me, "that.. was not good." He says, laughing hysterically.
I laughed along, "it was not," I confirmed, cackling at my horrendous attempt at flirting.
"God, I love you," he says breathlessly, embracing me briefly as he pecked my temple before returning to the ingredients he'd laid down on the counter.
"These are all the ingredients we need to bake a cookie."
"Okay, let's do it!" I say enthusiastically. He chuckled, patting my head lightly before instructing me step-by-step.
"Start with melted butter, I'll do this one. You can.. put the sugar in when I tell you, okay?" I nod eagerly, observing how he expertly works his way around the ingredients and baking apparatus.
After several minutes, I watched as he cracked an egg and poured the yolk inside the bowl, before ordering me to pour the vanilla extract, his hand placed over mine as he guided me thoroughly to ensure no mistakes were made.
He used another clean tool as he sunk it inside the mixture before lifting it up, scooping the liquid with his finger before poking my nose with it, a yellow, droopy liquid now settled on my nose. I glared at him, hitting him as I whined, reaching over to the sink as I washed the gooey liquid off my skin.
He laughs as he moves on to the next step, opening the bag of flour. I did not miss my chance as I scooped a handful of flour before planting it on his face. I laughed hysterically as his face became white literally, and I ran away as he began to chase me around spraying flour onto my back.
"Stop, stop! I just showered!" I say, laughing.
"And you think I didn't?" he says, deadpanning. I glance to the side, slightly guilty.
"Well.." I gestured to my long, luscious hair, my beautiful gorgeous body, and my smooth, well-cared skin. He raised an eyebrow, waiting for me to make a point. A point he knew, that I knew I could not make.
So I ran. Again.
"Oh no you don't," he says, chuckling diabolically. Then he proceeds to sprint as he reaches me quickly and picks me up before pouring a handful of flour all over me as well.
By then, we were both covered in flour as our laughter filled the floury air.
"Let's get back to the cookie, if we fail, I'm blaming you." He says, glaring at me jokingly.
"Uh-huh, who was the one who started it?" I eyed him closely, leaning forward as I pressured him.
"Huh? Who was it? Huh?" I pressed, and he flattened his lips further as he stared away from me.
When his silence continues, "exactly." I say proudly, feeling victorious.
From then onwards, we continued, and eventually it was time to wait it out as it warms in the oven.
"How—why do you have an oven?" I inquired, staring at the oven and various kitchen equipment I didn't have. Kitchen equipment—I could understand, but an entire oven?! Bewilderment consumes me.
He simply laughs lightly, "I just.. do." He avoids answering.
My head tilts, "really?"
"Eh.. okay. My parents were pretty worried when I decided to study here, and they were acquaintances with the owner of the building so.. kinda special treatment?.." he shrugs.
"Wow, that's some luck. How—why—wha—an oven?! Out of every single thing they could've given you, like–"
"Y'know, my parents own a restaurant. They were overly concerned I can't cook stuff cus' limited kitchen stuff, so.. um ya. I never used it until now." He says as a matter-of-fact.
"Wait, don't tell anyone about it though.." he says, holding my shoulder as though he genuinely is afraid I am a snitch.
Oh, he genuinely is afraid.
"Hey, let me ask you something—have you ever seen me with anyone? Like on a daily occasion, just hanging out with them, chit-chatting," I say gently, staring into his eyes.
He slightly frowns, shaking his head, "no.."
"Exactly. I have nobody to tell, okay? You can trust me." I assured, feeling slightly anxious there is no faith he has towards me.
"It's not that I don't, just for precaution, y'know?" he affirms, smiling gently.
"I'm sorry if it seemed like I didn't trust you," he holds my hand, staring at the contrast in size.
My thumb rubs on his hand lightly, "it's okay. I know you do."
Rationally, I was aware in my mind he has faith in me, yet my heart is far too sensitive and excessively anxious.
A soft noise hummed through the air, and we both turned towards the oven. He opens it as he grabs a pair of kitchen gloves before reaching inside and holding the edges of the cookie pan, bringing it out as he places it on the counter. I poked on the dough as the burning sensation barely lasted a millisecond.
"Careful, it's hot," warned Calix, slipping the gloves off his fingers as he washes his hand. I mimicked his actions as I waited for his command.
"Let's wait for now," he says, dragging a chair which he seated himself on, and I followed his actions.
"When's your birthday again?" I asked him, internally reminding myself to note it on my calendar or reminder.
"March 1st," he replies, smiling softly.
I thought about it, and gasped audibly, "that's.. when spring comes!" I say in astonishment, there seems to be too many fortunate coincidences for this man, for it to be simply a coincidence.
It's destiny.
Or perhaps, I simply want to say it's destiny that we are together in lieu of another fortunate coincidence.
Am I a fortunate coincidence for you too?
"No, you're not." He answers the question I'd thought stayed in my mind, unaware I verbalized it. I looked at him startled.
He held a stern gaze, presenting his assertiveness. "You are not a fortunate coincidence. You are a woman I chose to love, and pursue. It was fortunate—I was fortunate, you chose to love and accept me too," he declares.
My gaze lowered, "thank you for saying that." I smile, feeling the formerly rising tsunami in my heart turn into a calm wave of sea breeze.
"I'm not just saying it—"
"I know," my gaze lifts towards his, reassuring his concern.
"I love that every birthday I can see the beginning of flowers blossoming. It always feels like a fresh start," he returns to the previous conversation.
He inhales, "when's your birthday?"
"Um.. Oh! February 6th."
He stayed silent momentarily, as I did, and we gasped in unison.
"That's.. our one month dating anniversary!" we say simultaneously. We giggled collectively due to our sudden telepathic connection.
"You forgot your birthday?" he asks, referring to my previous hesitance.
"Well.. I don't celebrate my birthday often," I responded solemnly.
"Why?.. Your birth is deserving of being celebrated." He continues, concern gnawing on his expression.
"My mom thinks otherwise," I smile, closed-eye, before turning my head away as I stare at the ground.
Then I feel myself being pulled into a warm embrace. My eyes stung as he stroked my head gently, "I'm sorry you had that experience. I'm here now, we'll celebrate your birthday for sure, okay?" he promises. I nod against his chest as he combs through my hair soothingly.
I wrap my arms around him, clutching to his body unyieldingly as though if it was too loose, everything in this moment would disappear, and he was only a fragment of my imagination. He holds me as firmly, a silent reassurance that he would stay, at least for this moment.
I feel my cheeks moistening as liquid trickles down, and submerging into Calix's t-shirt.
I sobbed, "I'm sor—"
He hushes, "shh, it's okay. It's okay."
"You're not alone, hm? I'm here, always. Remember that," he declares.
A few minutes passed, and my sadness began to descend. I pulled away, my arms loosening as I let them drop by my sides. I stared at the large circle of dampness on Calix's fabric, unable to control the laughter from leaving my lips.
It was especially funny that, within the dampness, was the white powder previously planted by Calix on my face, now transferred to his clothes. He bent his neck as his chin meets his throat, before deliberately freezing his face in a deadpan expression and sighing as a small laughter erupts.
"Thank you," I say gratefully.
"Always," he replies, displaying his shallow dimples.
"Let's try them!" I stood up and lightly poked a cookie, when the sensation did not burn, I grabbed it and took a bite.
I looked at Calix, he looked at me. My eyes expanded as my mouth chewed and digested the food. He tilts his head, "how is it?"
I swallowed, "it's good! Really good, how are you good at everything?" I stare at him mesmerized.
His fingers pinched a cookie as he shoved the entire circle in his mouth. He chewed on it easily as he nodded in satisfaction. He swallows, "or maybe I'm just good at getting your heart," he grins at me.
I rolled my eyes, "that too, I guess," I said jokingly in a serious manner, before breaking out in a small laughter.
I threw the half-bitten cookie in my hand inside my mouth as I munched on it. Once I finished, my throat was dry. "Water, please?" I asked Calix, who complied with my request.
He hands me a glass of water which I gulped down earnestly. I handed it back to him empty and we began to tidy up.
It was quite the work as the flour had reached areas and places it shouldn't have, even nearly to the point of coating the entire room—but it was fun.
"I need to shower," I state, feeling sticky and itchy as we both sit on the ground, leaning on the wall.
He replies, "use mine."
"Oh shit, I forgot to bring my clothes."
"Stay a while longer."
"Calix, y'know?"
"Hm?"
"I once had a dream."
"Of?"
"This morning."
"Huh, so you can predict futures now?" he laughs, and I did too.
"No, of course not. I wish I could."
"When did you have it? The dream."
"Before we got together."
"Really? That's nice to hear."
"Why?"
"Well, at some point I thought I should stop because it genuinely seemed like you don't feel anything at all."
"Good thing you didn't."
"Good thing I didn't," he repeats.
We sat there as the time froze. Us, in each other's presence, reminiscing our past memories of each other. Imagining the future we have together.
If only, I could predict the future.
It was a night of reminiscence, yet I could only yearn to see the future of us.