Midtown High was on lockdown-lite mode.
Not full panic, but let's just say the science lab was now labeled "hazardous cosmic zone," half the windows were covered in radiation tarp, and Jean Grey hadn't made eye contact with anyone since the incident.
Good.
Because I wasn't done with her.
Or Scott "Laser Eyes" Summers.
[New Objective: Survive Academic Suspension With Dignity]
Optional: Humiliate Homelander.
Bonus XP: Make "Sansa" flinch again.
I pushed open the front doors like I owned the place — hoodie up, shades on, Force rippling just under my skin. Peter and Ned were waiting near the lockers.
Peter: "Please don't cause more drama today."
Ned: "Or get expelled."
Me: "Oi, did I ask for the audience commentary, lads? I'm here to learn… and possibly suplex a telepathic fascist."
They both groaned.
Cue: X-Men Damage Control Team, Hallway Edition
Scott Summers was leaning against the lockers in his smug uniformed glory, arms crossed, doing his best "I'm the responsible one" scowl.
I walked right up and said, "Oi, Homelander. You break into my school, destroy half the science wing, and now you're loitering? I knew you guys were a dysfunctional lot of wankers, but this is next level."
Scott's jaw twitched. "You're unstable. You need to be contained."
"And you need to get your eyes checked. Or a therapist. Or both."
Storm cleared her throat. "Rowan Skywalker, Charles would like to speak with you."
I mock-gasped. "Professor X wants a chat? Be still my beating trauma!"
Jean walked in behind them. Still rattled. Still glowing faintly. Our eyes locked.
I smiled sweetly and nodded.
"Starlight."
She flinched.
I kept going.
"Sansa."
Her eyes narrowed.
"Firebird? Flame Princess? Mother of Ashes?"
"You're going to regret this," she said through gritted teeth.
"Oi," I said, tapping my temple, "get in line."
[System Update – Psychological Warfare: Lv. 3]
Passive: +20% Resistance to Guilt
Active: +50% Chance to Annoy Redheads
Note: May trigger firestorms, emotional crises, or unwanted Force-bond consequences.
Just then, the PA system clicked on.
Static.
Then that familiar, smug voice filled the building.
"Good afternoon, Midtown! Stan here — still providing round-the-clock coverage of our favorite interdimensional oddball: Rowan Skywalker, the only student who's survived both a psychic meltdown and three separate SHIELD taserings in one week!"
I looked up at the speaker. "This man is my spirit animal."
"Oh, and for today's special broadcast, I've invited a co-host. You may know him as the man who made lightsabers cool — give it up for George!"
"Thanks, Stan," came a tired but amused drawl. "I've been watching this kid for a while. He reminds me of someone."
"Anakin?"
"No," George said. "A gremlin with force powers."
Peter muttered, "Why is this our life?"
Outside – SHIELD Command Truck
Fury stared at the hacked global broadcast feed on a dozen screens.
"Well?" he growled.
Maria Hill: "They hijacked every channel again."
"Who?"
"Stan Lee and George Lucas, sir."
Fury pinched the bridge of his nose. "I knew we shouldn't have let them near the signal tower."
Talos (still disguised as a janitor) chimed in: "Honestly, it's kind of hilarious."
Fury pointed at the screen. "That kid is a walking threat. And the world thinks it's a bloody reality show."
Back in the Hallway
Professor X's voice finally whispered through the school comms.
"Rowan. My office."
Except, y'know.
Mentally.
Like someone knocking directly on your brain.
I rolled my eyes. "Oi. Fine."
I turned to Ned and Peter. "If I don't come back, avenge my mixtape."
"Wait, you have a mixtape?" Ned blinked.
"No. But say I do. Makes the story better."
[New Mission: Survive Xavier's Job Interview from Hell]
Primary Objective: Avoid Brain Surgery
Secondary Objective: Keep Calling Scott "Homelander" Until He Snaps
Reward: Plot advancement. Maybe cookies.
To Be Continued…
Want me to continue with Rowan entering a mental mindscape with Xavier — where Charles starts to truly grasp just how deep Rowan's Force connection goes, and how dangerous it might be?
Here is the next scene in Chapter 17: "Oi, Sunshine!", where Rowan enters the mindscape of Professor Charles Xavier — a place of cosmic calm and psychic revelations — and proceeds to treat the entire thing like a cosmic stand-up special.
Chapter 17 (continued): Oi, Sunshine!
Astral Plane – Somewhere Between Sarcasm and Sanity
The moment I stepped into Xavier's "mental office," I knew I was out of my depth.
Not because of the space itself — which, by the way, looked like a fusion of the Starship Enterprise and the Apple Store — but because it was quiet.
Too quiet.
No Force whisper.
No Phoenix echo.
Just me… and the mental equivalent of calm dad judgment.
Charles Xavier sat in the middle of an impossible room — a glowing chair suspended in a void of stars and memory. Behind him? Giant floating windows replaying pieces of my life like Netflix got ahold of my trauma folder.
I stepped in, cracked my neck, and immediately said:
"Oi, Captain Picard. You know mind privacy's a thing, yeah?"
Xavier sighed. "You don't take this seriously."
I walked in a slow circle around him. "Nope. But it's adorable that you do."
One of the floating memory windows flickered. It showed me screaming in a Hydra tube, Force energy tearing through a steel wall.
Another showed Jean glowing like a sun as I stood opposite her, radiating midnight-blue static.
Another—
"Oh, that's embarrassing," I said, pointing at a screen showing me in a hospital gown trying to Force-choke a vending machine. "That definitely wasn't a Dark Side moment. That was a Snickers emergency."
Charles folded his hands. "You're deflecting."
"I'm surviving," I shot back. "Bit of a difference, baldy."
He raised an eyebrow. "You know I could lock your mind in a loop of your worst memories."
I grinned. "You mean like a public speaking class taught by Homelander and La Forge knockoffs? No thanks, already live it."
Xavier sighed again. "You know they don't understand you."
"Good," I said. "Because if Scott starts relating to me, I'm throwing myself into the nearest Sarlacc pit."
"...?"
"Exactly."
[System Notification – Mindspace Engagement Active]
Warning: You are within a Level-7 Telepathic Field.
Temptation to troll: 87%
Response: Engage maximum sarcasm
Charles turned toward one of the larger memory projections. It shimmered with shadow and fire — the image of the Mortis gods, towering and celestial, flickering behind the moment I touched Subject Nine's hand.
"You've encountered something… ancient," Xavier said carefully.
"Oh yeah. The Ones of Mortis. Creepy family drama. Tall ghost guy said I'm a Force singularity. Also Abeloth's apparently renting a murder condo in my subconscious."
Charles looked disturbed.
"I see," he muttered. "So it's not just Jean who's a threat to this reality."
I clapped. "Finally! He gets it."
He floated a little closer, still calm, but visibly more tense now.
"You must understand," he said, "your presence is a a damage to this 'Force' a wound in it if you like. The Phoenix Force already destabilizes this dimension. You could—if left unchecked—create a catastrophic dimensional rift."
I blinked.
Then pointed behind me. "Right. So the solution is obviously enrolling me in high school."
Xavier didn't laugh.
I did. Loudly.
"Oi, baldilocks, did you not watch the fight in the chemistry lab? Jean and I can't even be in the same building without reality crying. You know what you do with unstable nukes? You don't put them next to each other!"
Xavier finally frowned. "Would you rather I lock you away?"
I gave him a crooked smile.
"You could. But I'd escape."
"You're confident."
"No, I'm chaotic."
[Trait Gained – Cosmic Menace]
Others view you as a walking paradox.
Charisma: +2
Likability: -10
Plot Armor: Online
"You'll have to learn control," Xavier said, standing. "Or people will start to fear you."
"Too late," I said. "SHIELD already has a file titled 'Skywalker Protocol' — and I'm not even the craziest thing they're tracking."
"Then why do you laugh?"
I stopped.
Looked up at him — really looked.
Then smirked.
"Because the second I stop, I'll start breaking things. Or crying. Or both. You think sarcasm's my defense? It's my anchor."
The mindscape rippled slightly.
I felt Xavier's projection soften.
"You may be the most dangerous person I've ever met," he said.
He nodded. "We'll continue this another time."
The void shimmered.
And just as I faded out of the astral space, I saluted and added:
"Oi, Picard. Say hi to La Forge for me."
[Mindscape Disengaged]
Achievement Unlocked: Bald Diplomacy
Rewards: +1 Insight, -10 Goodwill with the X-Men, +500 Chaos Energy
To Be Continued…
Want to pick up Chapter 17 next with Rowan waking up, discovering SHIELD just leaked his "Homelander meme" account, and the X-Men demanding an official conversation — with a bonus appearance from Anastasia and Felicia?
Alright, let's roll into the next segment of Chapter 17: "Oi, Sunshine!", where Rowan wakes up from his mind-trip with Professor X and… well, things go from ridiculous to spectacularly unhinged.