"Mmmphhh—!"
My lips pressed against Javrian's with all the force of my resolve.
My fingers dug into his jaw to hold him steady.
I poured everything into it—the months of separation, the awakened memories, the fierce need to make him see.
My mouth moved desperately, sucking at his lower lip, then his upper, trying to coax any response from him.
"Umh... mm..."
I nipped gently, then more insistently, my tongue tracing the seam of his mouth in a silent plea for him to open, to meet me halfway.
But his lips... they didn't move.
He stood there like a statue, rigid and unyielding, his breath steady but his body frozen.
He didn't pull away, but he didn't lean in either.
No hands came up to hold me, no softening of his mouth to match my urgency.
It was as if I were kissing stone—cold, immovable, and utterly unresponsive.
The humiliation burned in my chest, hot and sharp, but I pushed it down, refusing to let it win.
I sucked harder, my teeth grazing his lip in frustration, biting down just enough to sting, willing him to react, to feel something.
Finally, I retreated, my breath coming in shaky gasps.
I bit my own lip, tasting the salt of my tears mingling with the faint echo of him.
My eyes lifted to meet his, searching for any sign, any flicker.
But there it was—he averted his gaze, looking away as if the intensity was too much, as if seeing me like this hurt him more than anything.
And in that moment, I understood.
He wasn't rejecting me out of anger or pride.
It was fear.
Deep, bone-deep fear—the same fear that had driven him to hurt himself all those months ago.
The fear of hurting me again, of being the monster I had once called him.
He stood there, not moving, not holding me, because he didn't trust himself not to break me.
My hands clenched into the fabric of my dress, knuckles white as resolve hardened in my chest.
This was it—the only way to shatter through that wall of fear, to make him forget the past and stop ignoring what burned between us.
I had to show him, prove to him that I wasn't fragile, that his touch wouldn't destroy me.
That I wanted it—craved it—even if it meant taking the lead.
Slowly, deliberately, I let my hand slide from his jaw, trailing down his neck, over the hard planes of his chest.
My fingers brushed the ridges of muscle beneath his shirt, feeling the rapid thump of his heart betraying the stoic mask on his face.
He was confused, his silver eyes flickering back to me with a question in them, but I didn't stop.
I leaned down, my movements unhurried, my gaze never leaving his.
"If you don't want to see me hurt," I whispered, my voice steady despite the storm inside me, "do not move."
"You need to stand there and keep looking at me... loving you."
Javrian's breath hitched, his massive body tensing under my touch, but he obeyed.
He stood frozen, eyes locked on mine as I continued my descent, my hand mapping the terrain of him—down his abdomen, lower still.
I sank to my knees in the grass, the dew soaking through my dress, but I didn't care.
My fingers worked at his belt, deliberate and sure, pulling it free with a soft clink.
'!'
"Luna, what are you doing? That's—"
His words came out rushed, laced with panic he couldn't hide. Javrian's massive hands moved instinctively to stop me, reaching down to pull mine away, but I was quicker.
I caught them midair, my smaller palms wrapping around his wrists with a firmness that surprised even me. His chest heaved, rising and falling in sharp, uneven rhythms, and when I looked up, those silver eyes met mine—wide, conflicted, burning with something raw and restrained.
I held his gaze, feeling the tremor in his grip, the way he was fighting himself more than fighting me. But I didn't let go.
Instead, with one hand still clasping his, I used the other to tug at the fastening of his trousers, easing them down just enough. The fabric gave way, and there it was—springing free, rigid and demanding.
My breath caught.
The morning light filtered through the trees, casting a long shadow across my face as it loomed before me. It fell over my features like a veil, and for a heartbeat, I doubted if this was real or some fevered dream.
My eyes widened, tracing its imposing form—the skin stretched tight, swollen at the tip. It twitched subtly, alive with need, and the sheer size made my pulse quicken. A mix of awe and uncertainty washed over me.
This was overwhelming.
The warmth radiated from him, so close I could feel it without touching. The way that shadow fell across my cheeks made me feel small yet strangely powerful. It looked... formidable. The smooth head glistened faintly, the shaft veined and firm, curving slightly as if reaching for me.
My heart pounded—how could something so intimate feel both intimidating and inviting?
I hesitated, my breath shallow, fingers tightening around his wrists. Then I looked up, really looked at his expression—the tension in his jaw, the way his silver eyes darkened with effort, his massive frame rigid as stone.
He was holding back. Every muscle coiled, not because he didn't want me, but because he feared unleashing himself would shatter me.
My lips trembled at the realization.
A wave of tenderness crashed over me. He was erect because of me—swollen and tight from desire I had ignited—yet he fought it, all to protect me from his own strength.
There was something strange about seeing him this flustered. The shock, the confusion, and that flush spreading across his features as he looked at my face. Ignoring the thing casting its shadow on me, my eyes met his, and I felt like... teasing him.
I had never been good at these things. But my future self had developed a habit of reading romantic stories in her free time.
My hand trembling, I placed my forefinger on the small drop of liquid at his tip—that redness barely hidden beneath the taut skin. I poked it gently, just like how he had touched me that day.
His eyebrow twitched slightly, making me slowly retreat. A thin string of fluid connected my finger to him, and I recalled what those books written by commoners called this.
"Did they call it... love liquid?" The thin string of fluid stretched between my fingertip and his tip, glistening in the morning light like some forbidden nectar.
I stared at it for a heartbeat, my curiosity overriding everything else.
What did it taste like? Salty? Sweet? The books I'd read in secret described it in flowery terms, but words were nothing compared to reality.
Slowly, I retracted my finger, bringing it toward my lips.
My tongue darted out, ready to sample this "love liquid" that had him so worked up—
"What are you doing?!"
Javrian's voice exploded with panic, his massive body jolting into motion so fast I barely registered it.
He slammed his hands down on his thighs, sitting up abruptly and grabbing my wrist in one swift movement.
His silver eyes were wide, almost wild, like I'd just suggested jumping off a cliff.
"That's disgusting! Don't just try to lick anything!"
I narrowed my gaze, heat rising in my cheeks—not from embarrassment, but from the way he was holding my wrist like I was some naughty child.
His grip was firm but not painful, his palm warm against my skin, but his words stung.
Disgusting? After everything?
My eyes flicked to where he held me, then back to his flushed face.
That flicker of panic in his expression only fueled the fire building inside me.
If he thought that was disgusting...
I shifted onto my knees in one fluid motion, the grass cool beneath me as I rose up to meet his height.
My free hand shot out, grabbing his collar and yanking him closer until our faces were inches apart.
His breath hitched, those silver eyes locking onto mine with a mix of shock and something hotter.
"If that's disgusting," I whispered fiercely, my voice low and challenging, "then why the hell were you drinking mine like a thirsty dog you—"
His eyes widened in horror, the vulgar word hanging on the tip of my tongue.
Before I could finish, before I could force him to confront it, he moved like lightning.
One hand cupped the back of my head, the other wrapped around my waist, and his lips crashed against mine in a desperate seal while yelling something confusing.
"I CAN NEVER BECOME AS BOLD AS YOU, LUNA!"
"Mmmph!"