Westchester, New York.
"Professor," my phantom found Charles in his office and immediately got down to business, "may I ask you for a favor on which the fate of the Nine Worlds depends?"
When I got into the details of the situation and reconstructed the chronology of events, I felt a strong desire to drink, but, alas, I could not afford such weakness. Actually, it was about Thor... As always. But now especially. The guy managed to literally step on all the plot rakes of the original story, as if he was reading a script. And despite the fact that in general it was explainable, but I still felt like my teeth were sweating in some places. Firstly, Odin did not reinvent the wheel and threw Thor to the same southern United States, as it was in the film. Perhaps not exactly to the same place, but, one way or another, a company of ufologists, or whoever they are, tracked the discovery of the Rainbow Bridge and found the guy. In itself, this was not difficult - Asgard constantly rotates its troops, and Bifrost works regularly for this, and since Midgard is still one of the Nine Worlds, whose magical background, among other things, is directly connected to Asgard, this background reacts to the disturbances created by the Bridge, which is reflected in physical reality, as a rule, generating "northern lights" in some areas of the planet. In other words, if you know what to look for, you can notice the activation of the Bridge on Earth, and you don't even need any particularly advanced technology for this. In short, the little brother was found, and then a circus with horses began: they would either send him to the hospital as a psycho, or steal him from this hospital, or they would still be afraid that he is a psycho and disperse, or they would turn on the "pity" and help again. But that would be fine, I would have giggled joyfully and vilely over that, watching the suffering and humiliation of the Mighty Thor, but the main thing here was the second moment, and it was precisely for its resolution that I now came to Xavier.
- ... - the bald telepath looked up from the computer monitor, looked at my face for a split second, collecting his thoughts, and, touching the control lever of the chair, moved out from behind the table to meet me. - I am listening very carefully.
- I love it when honest people avoid answering questions using my method! It's so touching! - I was almost sincerely inspired. - But this is a specific matter, in which I will need your trust.
"So I shouldn't ask questions?" Xavier immediately grasped the gist of the matter, without showing his attitude to it with his face.
"That's not advisable," I nod. "The answers may affect your emotional state, and the value judgments you've developed may affect your subconscious attitudes. It's critically important to me that you remain yourself, perhaps a little nervous, but not in disarray with heavy philosophical questions. I can promise that my request will not harm you, the school, or humanity as a whole. In fact, on the contrary, it should save the world from a bunch of problems if everything goes as I plan. And if it doesn't, then we'll just fly off to one place and come back empty-handed. And yes, of course, I'll answer all the questions and explain the whole story as soon as it can no longer harm the matter."
"Okay," the telepath nodded, "give me twenty minutes to get ready."
- So simple? - I raise an eyebrow.
- And why not? You are a good man, Loki. Sometimes cruel, but considering the times in which you grew up and the traditions in which you were raised, there is nothing surprising about it. And if you ask for my help, then I will try to help, if it is in my power.
- Oh, Charles, - I chuckled, - you make me blush. If only someone else could see this beauty of mine...
"Not all at once, but... Storm has a pretty high opinion of you," Xavier returned to his computer, giving me a good-natured grin.
- Mmm, is this really giving out medical secrets to a charismatic fraudster?
- No, these are the words of a "simple teacher" that she conveyed to her "disabled father," - there was laughter in the mutant's voice and the glance he briefly threw at me. - I must admit, from the first minute of our acquaintance I was greatly intrigued by your point of view, it is very unconventional.
- I will not apologize for pacifist terrorists! Agree, there is definitely something in this. At the very least, it is more creative than the classic heroic epic.
"Something tells me that it is the latter that plays a key role for you?" the man asked, quickly typing something on the keyboard.
- Who knows? - I shrug. - Maybe it's the voice of my like-minded person living in your heart? Well, you know how it is - the first hundred years, the rebellious spirit?
"I wish it were like this…" Charles clicked on something with the mouse – the monitor screen was not visible from where I was standing – "but I'm afraid it's much more prosaic…"
- Someday I'll make a compilation of all the times you called me a little brat, which I've seen enough of, and I'll show it to my mother.
"I feel like there's some kind of consequence behind this…" Xavier looked up at me, rolling out from behind the table again.
"How can I say…" I shook my head, glancing sideways. "She'll be delighted… And she'll probably decide to introduce you to one of her friends."
- ... - Charles didn't immediately find an answer. - It's flattering... But I don't think we should let it get to that.
"Who knows," I grinned without embarrassment, vividly imagining this picture. "Well, are you ready?"
"I just need to warn Scott that I'll be away for a while," the telepath sighed. "This new security system sometimes seems a bit inconvenient to me."
- What can you do, convenience and safety are usually on opposite sides of the barricades. But you don't have to rush, I was going to steal his plane anyway.
- Loki... - a heavy sigh and a reproachful look.
- Okay, okay, I arranged for him to give us a lift. "Not-stylish-anymore-glasses" kindly agreed.
"Sometimes it seems to me that you are not a thousand years old, but only fifteen," the telepath shook his head.
- The main thing is not to grow old in spirit! - I smiled. - And that was the seventy-sixth case. Shall we go?
- Yes, I'm ready, - and we headed to the secret hangar with the secret stealth plane, to secretly fly to the secret research camp of the secret organization. Hmm, is it just me or is the word "secret" a bit much?
Scott was already warming up the engines, and as soon as we got up, he gave the command to take off. After getting rid of the heavy visor and the risk of putting on a laser show, just opening his eyes half-asleep before putting on the glasses, his character softened somewhat, and he respected me so much that he was even ready to tolerate my inimitable sense of humor. Or is it because of the new security system? Perhaps he is not hopeless, and the idea of throwing circular saws will meet his understanding and approval. I would also like to see Storm here, purely for moral support and for the sake of aesthetic feelings, but, alas, the beautiful mulatto was busy with the younger generation, who had exams coming up, with all that entails, so it was not meant to be.
The flight itself was rather boring - Charles, as promised, didn't ask me about anything, Scott was piloting, and I was mostly occupied with delving into the affairs of Asgard, praise be to the eternal spark of creation - at least for now without visitors and petitioners. You could land almost anywhere in the desert - thanks to the super-light and super-strong polymers of the "Blackbird", so I didn't worry about that. But then the adventure began...
"I see a camp," Cyclops reported as they approached. "Looks like some kind of quarantine zone, but there are no air defenses or radars."
- Even if there were, I camouflaged us already during takeoff, - rising from the seat in the cabin, I approach the cockpit. - Yes, that's right - this is exactly the place. Can you sit down on that hill?
– We will be there in full view.
"It's not scary – my illusions will easily last for about five hours, and they themselves won't go up there in patrol cars."
"But what is this place?" Xavier asked curiously, watching the approach of the earth with us, sitting in the co-pilot's seat.
"A temporary S.H.I.E.L.D. base," I answered the older man.
"And why are we here?" Scott glanced at me, smoothly leading the bird to land.
- Please be patient for just ten more minutes, you'll see for yourself soon.
"Okay," the professor nodded ahead of Summers.
Soon, having left the bowels of the plane, we moved towards the secret camp of the top-secret organization. Since I was in Midgard not quite materially, Cyclops had to push Xavier's wheelchair over the hummocks and grass. I immediately covered all traces with telekinesis, and then - just avert the eyes of the staff and equipment and walk forward. Charles, however, tried to help me with his own telepathy, but I talked him out of it - it would be better if he did not use his powers when everything began. So after the specified ten minutes we were already inside the perimeter, approaching the main point of the route. Here is the last turn in the corridor covered with plastic film, and we find ourselves at a crater, in the middle of which there was a piece of rock with a hammer half-sunk into it.
"Hmm…" the prof looked at the instrument carefully, "just don't tell me it's Mjolnir."
- I won't tell you, you already understood everything yourself.
"What is he doing here?" Scott asked with a slightly nervous smile.
- Depicts Excalibur. The harsh Nordic version. Although in reality it is Caliburn, because Excalibur is the sword of the Lady of the Lake, and it was not stuck in the stone during the election of the king of Britain, but you people always confuse even the fairy tales of your own composition, not to mention real events. And the level of education of Hollywood scriptwriters is a whole other story, with such an approach to raising young people, a little more - and you will again slide into the Stone Age, honestly ...
"Loki..." the telepath sighed tiredly, looking at me.
"Okay," I raise my hands in a defensive gesture. "My moron brother screwed up really badly. So badly that he was banished to Earth and stripped of his powers, and then Odin couldn't think of anything smarter than to throw his Hammer after him. It was probably meant to be a teaching moment, so the guy would suffer, but now this hammer is being studied by a crowd of warriors from a shady office, which was stuffed with spies by an even shadier office. Anyway, I need this hammer to stay with someone normal until I sort out this whole hemorrhoid. And I can't find a better candidate than you, Professor. I'm not going to turn to Eric, am I?"
"That's not all, is it?" Xavier asked, looking at me with insight.
"Not everything," I nodded in agreement, "but I can't tell you more and can only ask you to believe me."
"Okay…" Charles nodded, "what do I need to do?"
- Almost nothing - just take it and keep it for now.
"Okay," his gaze said something between "why didn't you just drag it away yourself?" and "making an old cripple carry heavy war hammers, you should be ashamed." Then Charles turned back to the artifact and extended his hand towards the handle.
"I'll help," Cyclops jerked to help with lifting the weights.
"It's not worth it," I instantly create another phantom of mine in his path, forcing him to recoil. "Believe me, I'm not just asking Charles for nothing."
"Um…" the mutant glanced at his teacher, but was met only with a calm lid of eyes, after which Xavier nevertheless touched the handle with a brown leather loop… and without the slightest effort pulled Mjolnir out of the stone pedestal.
My real body, sitting on Odin's throne, held its breath as the illusions quickly dispersed away from the professor.
And magical energy had already thickened around the telepath, literally yanking him out of his chair and suspending him in the air. I saw how the magic and essence of the hammer rushed into his body, healing his worn-out body. With an inaudible crunch, the damaged spine was restored, and his legs were filled with their former strength and mobility. The wrinkles smoothed out, and lightning flashed in his blue eyes. Lightning also enveloped Mjolnir. The skies turned black, swelling with fat clouds in a matter of seconds, thunder roared, and a wide white lightning struck the weapon, saturating and restoring the reserves of magic spent on healing the man. And then, from the subspace pocket of the hammer, armor began to manifest on Xavier, encasing his body in high-tech scales and laying a scarlet cloak on his shoulders. And, Gods... Charles Xavier in the Thor costume looked indescribably surreal, but very... very brutal.
- Ha, now you are definitely Papa Storm, - in Asgard I wiped away the beads of sweat that had appeared on my forehead - maintaining a magical illusion and suggestion on a whole crowd of people during such a riot of forces was difficult even with the support of Gungnir and the throne of the King, which was specially created to facilitate remote magical influences and far-sightedness across the boundaries of worlds. But nothing - I managed, look, everyone is calmly walking and studying the printouts, as if lightning had not just blown half of the "sarcophagus" over the weapon to pieces.
"Professor!" Scott jerked forward, either wanting to help his mentor not fall when landing, or just to make sure that he was okay.
- Loki, what's going on? - smoothly landing on the ground next to the Cyclops, the telepath looked at his new appearance in confusion.
"It's nothing serious," I dispel one extra phantom, "just a small bonus in the form of healing and rejuvenation... or rather, the transition of the body to a state of... mmm, no, that's not quite the right word... the concept of an ace."
- But why? And what next? - the newly-minted Thunderer continued to be perplexed.
- It's nothing, everything is as I said. I ask you to keep the hammer until I set Thor's brains straight, or until they fall into place on their own, and as "payment for storing the artifact" your health has improved a little. Although," I pretend to think, "I can also offer the position of acting Thor in Asgard. We have a wonderful climate and even more wonderful landscapes, as well as medical insurance, social package and all that...
"No," Charles shook his head, "I have the Institute in my care, and that's more than enough for me. But now you can satisfy my curiosity, why was it necessary to hide all this? Were you afraid that I would refuse?"
- No, - I waved it off, - it just wouldn't have been a surprise then. But seriously, you wouldn't have refused to use your mind, but you could have wound yourself up to the point that you would have subconsciously put up a block, convincing yourself that you were unworthy of such power. Besides, Mjolnir is a semi-intelligent artifact, and Odin ordered it to "find someone worthy of Thor's power." The problem with semi-intelligent artifacts, unlike normal things with a neural interface, is that you will never understand what's on their minds and what they consider worthy and what is not. If I told you why all this is necessary, and even without any problems on your part, this piece of iron could have balked, like, how is it that they are foisting candidates on it bypassing natural selection?! Leaving it here... you can see for yourself - not the best idea. It's not so much about S.H.I.E.L.D.'s research, but that these guys would have enough brains to find some decent, but not very smart patriot who could lift the hammer and gain the power of the God of Thunder. And then joyfully and without asking unnecessary questions use this power on evil commies, dirty natives and other enemies of democracy and all progressive humanity - everything as the big uncles, hanging medals on his chest, say.
"But why didn't you lift it yourself?" Charles looked at his own feet with distrust and stepped carefully, remembering how to move at all.
- Well, first of all, I already have enough problems, - I smile wryly, trying to convey with my facial expressions the full extent of how happy this makes me. - Because as a result of Thor's screw-up, I'm now a little... King of Asgard, - I create an illusion of Gungnir in my hand, - and I already have Odin's spear, - both mutants are glued to the golden shaft of the artifact. - Secondly, Mjolnir is still a semi-intelligent artifact, and it has adopted a lot from my brother, in particular, the holy belief that I am a loser nerd, so I won't let it fall into my hands simply on principle, and I can sit and hack his brain for fifty years. Oh yeah, and I also have a cunning plan!
"And what is it?" the professor smiled, catching the change in intonation in my voice.
"I'm counting on one pretty teacher to give me a kiss and go on a couple more dates with the charming bastard who cured her disabled father.
- For some reason, I assumed something like this... But you say that you became the king of Asgard?
- Yes, but I can handle it! I already have a plan on how to escape from there without starting a galactic war! I think I can handle it in two weeks, - I positively assure the mutants, bending down to the ground myself to choose a suitable stone and transform it into a decorative red flag on a stand. Because everything is in the name of Intrigue, yes! SHIELD must suffer! - But let's discuss this a little later, - I get to my feet, - it's quite difficult to fool all the surrounding technology and minds. Don't you want to stretch your legs?
"Why not, Loki?" Without commenting on my manipulations, Charles took a cautious step. "Why not…"
Same time, Asgard.
My mutant illusion was quickly leaving the SHIELD camp, explaining to the prof along the way how to remove armor and turn the hammer into an elegant, unsurprising cane. At the same time, I had to endure a migraine from the tension to keep the people and their equipment from noticing anything, but the Throne helped, and there was only a little time left to hold out.
The throne room was sterilely silent, not even the breathing of the Einherjar guards standing guard at the foot of the dais could be heard. There was no formal coronation, but when I left Odin's bedchamber with Gungnir in hand, the guards lined up in a single motion dropped to one knee, acknowledging me as lord. Everything had been prepared in advance by Frigga, and the entire palace was only waiting for my appearance to make money around the new King. And if you think about it, she got her way - the terrible woman, she talked the God of Deception into it...
I glanced around the huge empty hall. Somewhere inside, a small, satisfied spark was burning, whispering that all this was mine now , but the old childhood dream of old Loki almost didn't touch me anymore. He dreamed of power over Asgard, as some kind of super prize that would, like, clearly prove to everyone his superiority over Thor and that everyone who had previously neglected him had screwed up. Personally, I was much more interested in finding out what kind of faces these guys, portraying statues, would have if I brought the Internet here and installed a console. Well, everything was much better than sitting languidly on this regal chair and majestically staring into the empty hall. Or rather, I was working with the Throne's neural interface and could literally look through the borders of worlds, coordinating the actions of Asgard's troops, meeting with the rulers of the allies, giving orders to the far corners of the state, and so on and so forth, but from the outside everything looked exactly like that. Look, Laura already seems to regret that she decided to go with me, to look at the "work of the king", and did not stay with her mother or Yuriko in the rooms allocated to them. Or not? Nothing is ever clear from this girl, and now she is wandering around the hall, staring at the armor of the guards and studying the frescoes on the ceiling, without showing any signs of fatigue or boredom.
Silently watching the girl for several minutes, I waited for the moment when the X-Men's "Blackbird" took in its passengers and took off from the ground. After waiting a little longer, I allowed myself to relax, dispelling the illusion and mental suggestion at the S.H.I.E.L.D. facility. It immediately became easier, and the nasty, continuously screwing screws disappeared from my temples.
Oh, and here come the little men running around — they noticed the loss of the hammer, the traces of lightning and the little red flag. It warmed my heart… Yes, it's all according to the principle: if joy settles in the heart, it means that someone has been hurt. And what a pity that the Soviet Union also fell apart in this world, if only the guys at Lubyanka would catch the lulz, if Fury started sending them angry telegrams and photos of "proof" that the communists have completely lost their minds and that it's yuck to be like that. On the other hand, now poor ex-Master Windu has no one to even make a claim to, which is why he will clearly be much more angry. Although… maybe he will get mad at the Chinese, but the Chinese are a strange people, you can sit on them and get off them — they picked up a lot from the Vanir, you know…
While I was smiling vilely, watching the panic of Fury's chicks, a crazy thought quietly entered my head. I would even say a bad thought. Harmful. Inappropriate. Bad... very bad Loki! You can't think about digging a shipping channel between Mexico and Canada using the Rainbow Bridge! This is an unprofessional use of high-precision spatial travel technology; self-respecting intellectuals do not hammer nails with a microscope!
Self-hypnosis helped... a little. But it gave me a new idea.
Thanos.
As the king of Asgard, I could try to solve the problem of its existence at its roots. It was risky and dangerous, but… it had a good chance of success. He was not yet ready for a full-scale war and collecting the Infinity Stones. Almost ready, yes, but not ready. His army was probably already huge, but the army of Asgard had not yet been battered by the pacification of the Nine Realms after the anarchy that reigned with the destruction of the Rainbow Bridge, the attack of the dark elves and the release of Hela. Besides, seriously, you can really hit the Rainbow Bridge, if not on some metropolis world, which Thanos may not have, then on his huge ship…
A quick check showed that the Throne of Asgard did not allow me to pierce with my gaze those areas of the galaxy where the fallen titan was rumored to live. The radius to which the throne allowed my senses to be sent was limited to the Nine Worlds and a little above, and when trying to "zoom in" to a greater distance, the "picture" blurred, almost in complete analogy with an optical movie camera, although, of course, it was perceived completely differently.
However, Heimdall should not have such limitations. His eyes are a phenomenon, such a strong embodiment of the divine aspect that it has earned the title of legend even within Asgard. For the keeper of the Rainbow Bridge, one can become invisible and inaudible, but his gaze itself can penetrate any part of the galaxy. If Thanos does not have the magic or technology to hide all his armies, then Heimdall will find him, and then it will be possible to strike...
If I decide to do it.
But will I dare? No matter how carelessly I grimace, I am far from the strongest warrior even in Odin's family. Both the Allfather and Thor are superior to me in a direct confrontation, they are real warriors, real fighters who are not afraid of battle, who are in their place in it - in their element. I am different. I hate fighting. I know how. And I can. But it makes me sick. It is much easier for me to kill someone than to fight them. This is not a joke - in order to kill, you do not necessarily have to come face to face and exchange blows, you do not necessarily have to plan the course of the fight, you do not necessarily have to do anything at all. You may not be able to punch your opponent in the face, but at the same time be able to easily break his neck or stab him in the throat. I, and the old Loki, were the kind of people who don't get any thrill from fighting, we don't feel anything special when we're throwing our fists in a fight, it was always easier for us to kill than to win . True, both he and I were limited all our lives by the boundaries of society that didn't allow such behavior, only he - only within the boundaries of Asgard, and I - in general. But the point is that such a character type doesn't allow one to give one's all to a fight and risk this head with full dedication, at some point in the fight relying only on one's own luck and the enemy's failures. Odin and Thor could do that, but I couldn't. I can't rush into battle ready to die if fate wills it, I can't give all of myself for the sake of defeating Thanos. And the fallen titan is not one of those who can be defeated without strain and risk. At the same time, I have no one to send in my place - Odin is sleeping, Thor is exiled, and no one else can handle it, not even Heimdall, although he is a very serious fighter by Asgard standards.
Again, the plan was to get out of this universe, not overcome its problems, like Superman. If I had Superman's strength, I'd think twice, but alas - I'm a scrawny half-breed ice giant who can't even fly, and not the Last Son of Krypton.
And here, by the way, is another problem - what to do with Laufey and the coming war? The canonical plan to eliminate the biological father was good, but, for objective reasons, it is unavailable to me, because I did not lead the Jotuns to Asgard, so Laufey will not listen to me if I offer him to go into the trap. And a full-fledged war with Jotunheim ... Well, it is possible, in principle. Jotunheim is in decline, their entire technomagical industry was smashed by Odin, they do not have their own analogue of the Rainbow Bridge, and they will not restore it very soon, even if they throw all their efforts into it now. By the way, yes - they had their own analogue of the Rainbow Bridge, but it was destroyed, and its restoration is prohibited by the treaty, the execution of which the same Heimdall tirelessly monitored. But here too, there is a problem, the war with Jotunheim is long and troublesome. This is Asgard - a Flat World the size of a large island, and there is a full-fledged planet there, the local population of which would be happy to play guerrilla warfare with an army of Aesir and Vanir, and even sympathizers from all over the Nine Worlds would come running. Again, having no alternative, over the last thousand years the ice giants have become quite adept at walking along the paths of shadows...
Suddenly, the smooth flow of my sad thoughts, which were slowly leaning towards the option: "and really, shouldn't I destroy Jotunheim with the Rainbow Bridge?", was rudely disrupted. And in general, the peace and tranquility of the ancient hall shattered, like a crystal vase under the foot of a landsknecht.
- Allfather! We need to talk to you urgently! - Lady Sif burst through the side doors at the head of a trio of Thor's degenerate friends, almost running towards the throne. At the same time, she managed to maintain a respectful and humble look on her face.
The guards didn't even bat an eyelid, although why should they? The "guests" at court had a high position in themselves, and joining the Prince's retinue, even if he was currently in disgrace, made that position even higher. But then this entire cavalcade saw me and lost its stride.
"They've arrived…" I smiled, waiting for them to approach. Well, yes, it was said outside the protocol, but that was the last thing I cared about.
- Loki?! You're back? - Sif was surprised, momentarily losing her composure and showing me some hostility, well, yes, Thor's "hooligan friends" didn't really like the "nerd brother", and this lively girl was no exception. - What happened? Where is Odin?
- What happened? - I raised an eyebrow. - What happened is that Thor's prank almost brought my father to the grave, and now he is in Odin's Dream and will wake up only in a few decades, at best! - I did not have to pretend to be very irritated, the whole situation was pretty infuriating me. - As a result, I had to drop everything and rush to Asgard, so that there would be someone to lead the army in the war with Jotunheim that was unleashed, including through your efforts. And by the way, Sif, take the trouble to explain to me how it happened that you did not set Thor's brains straight when you heard about his plan? I'm not asking why they didn't do it - a gesture towards the trio of warriors - but I thought better of you! Where was your female intuition when the five of you went to storm an entire planet of creatures who were in no way inferior in strength to the Aesir?!
- ... How can you say that?! - the girl couldn't find the words right away, but she needed the pause just to go on the attack. - Thor wanted to save you!
- Save? - I ask again, not believing my ears, with a very characteristic expression, expressed by a phrase that begins with "what" and usually ends with an obscene exclamation. Did she really miss half of my speech? - From what? I didn't need to be saved! No one kidnapped me, I was not captured by enemies during the campaign, I just went for a walk away from Asgard, so as not to spoil Thor's holiday with my sour face! I even left a note so that they would not look for me and not twitch. But instead, for some reason, he went to the Jotuns and, in fact, unleashed a war. And now the result: my father is sleeping, my mother does not leave his bed, Thor is in exile, and I became the king who needs to sort out all this. So answer me, friends , how should I speak in such a situation? – If I could condense the poison from my voice, I could only start wholesale deliveries with the last phrase.
"A king?!" my brother's friends shouted in unison.
In response, I silently (I gritted my teeth, trying with all my might not to curse) turned Gungnir in my hand, causing the shaft to ring slightly with a stream of magic. A thin, insinuating sound rushed through the entire colossus of the throne room, forcing the four guests to immediately turn on their ingrained reflexes and unanimously bend their knees, pressing their fist to their chests in the area of their hearts.
- Oh, leave it, - I winced, feeling Laura's gaze on me. The girl clearly noticed the hostility in the air and became genuinely interested in what was happening and the personalities of the visitors. - I know very well how "glad" you are to see me in this place, so let's leave the formalities: tell me why you came, and be done with it.
"We…" Sif began again, but at the last moment she restrained herself and, reflexively licking her lips, tried to act the part again: "My King," the attempt to smile respectfully was counted, but failed. No… With such a smile, she would only heat up an iron in front of an interlocutor tied to a chair, "we ask you to return Thor from exile.
Unable to restrain myself, I leaned my right cheek on the outstretched fingers, looking with sincere sadness at Thor's friends, who were also considered my buddies. More precisely, it so happened that the former Loki spent a significant part of his time in their company, playing the role of a sort of squad nerd, who always talks about caution and who is always brushed off. On the one hand, Thor should clearly be envious, because not everyone has friends who, even in such a situation, will try to protect and save you to the end, including openly exposing themselves, as these four were doing now, but on the other... How I wanted to take four saucepans, put them on their heads and play drums! I didn't even want to get away from all this ass so much when I first got into this body and realized the depth of said ass! And I didn't want to kill them - some notes of old affection were buzzing on the edge of consciousness, as if someone had asked them to, I just... I just wanted to hurt them! To let their brains feel what it was like to exist !
– Firstly, the new King of Asgard cannot cancel the last decree of his predecessor. It is the law. And secondly… Have you thought about it? The Allfather did not send Thor into exile for a torn tablecloth! Do you even realize that if Thor had done what he did just a few days later and after Odin had fallen into his sleep, you would all be dead by now , and Asgard would be beheaded ? The new King of Asgard killed while trying to invade Jotunheim is a wonderful prospect, isn't it? Very conducive to peace and tranquility in the Nine Worlds. What should I expect if he returns now? That in a week he will also start a war with the Kree Empire? Punishment should bring results – force the punished to draw conclusions and correct themselves, but what conclusions could Thor draw in just a few days? And what conclusions will he draw if, even for such an offense, he is immediately forgiven and returned? Can you honestly say that he has already reformed? Can you vouch for it with your honor and good name? Go ahead! – I straighten up on the throne, looking mockingly at the petitioners. – If you do this, I will, so be it, think of something. Well?.. I am waiting.
- None of this would have happened if you hadn't disappeared! - Sif hissed, shaking with indignation, drilling me with a blazing gaze. Alas, it was not burning with a passion to get to my "innocent" body and show a master class in the cowgirl pose.
- Oh yes, of course, whatever happened, it was all Loki's fault, how could I forget? - I raise my eyes to heaven. However, to be fair, the faces of Ogun, Volstagg and Fandral showed understanding of my arguments, expressed in deep shame, and Sif was clearly objecting purely out of stubbornness. - Okay, let's leave it at that, especially since you gave an answer, - I meet the gaze of all four in turn. - Anything else?
"If you allow me," Volstagg said hesitantly, clearly uncomfortable, "I would like to ask… Your Majesty…" Here the red-bearded giant's gaze finally caught sight of a detail that stood out from the surrounding space, in the form of Laura, who had come closer to get a better look at everything. "And… who is this?" Here the others also noticed the "undocumented element."
- This is... - I turn my gaze to the child and catch exactly the same answer, that is, simple, direct and with slight interest. - My advisor, - I shrug, turning back to the four.
"Adviser?" Fandral asked, looking like he heard wrong.
- Yes. My most important advisor, - I touch my chin with the fingers of my free hand. - Every dark lord and embodiment of universal evil and treachery must have a child advisor to check his plans for adequacy. Am I right? - I glance at Laura.
- ... - the girl clearly didn't understand much, at least her eyes, running from me to Thor's friends and back, said that we were all complete lunatics here, but, having decided something for herself, X-23 nodded in agreement.
"The Dark Lord?" Volstagg asked, amazed.
"Embodiments of universal evil?" Fandral echoed.
– … – the face Sif made as she stared at Laura deserved an Oscar. I couldn't quite put my finger on why and in what category, but it absolutely deserved it! I even saved that image in Tron's memory next to the recording of Xavier lifting Mjolnir – I'll definitely transfer it to a portable holoprojector later and watch it again whenever I want to feel my awesomeness.
- Oh, just don't pretend that it's not your efforts that have given me the reputation of an evil God throughout the Nine Worlds. Although Surtur is with him, let's skip this joke as too subtle. I repeat the question: do you have any other business with the King of Asgard?
"We…" Volstagg began again, but I interrupted him:
- Besides Thor's return.
"We need to talk to the Queen!" Sif blurted out, once again convincing me of her complete impenetrability.
And again I didn't know whether to envy Thor or sympathize. On the one hand, such a loving and selfless woman is a reason to envy, especially since my predecessor was secretly in love with her for a while, after all, Sif really was a beauty compared to many, many other women of Asgard, plus a strong-willed character, constant presence nearby and all that. Remove the mole from her face and give her normal breasts instead of a flat plain - in general, such a candy would turn out that I would not be able to resist and would start drooling no less than on Storm. On the other hand, with such a temperament, she can cause her man many times more problems than she brings benefits, especially if she really moves into a serious relationship with him when it is permissible to clarify any topics, no matter how personal they are, and to show your attitude without embarrassment to anyone.
"Go ahead," I replied, without being distracted from my thoughts, with an indifferent look.
"What?.." Asinya flew into a wall, obviously expecting another rebuke from me.
"I don't mind you talking to my mother," I explain my position. "I mind you barging into Odin's bedchamber when she's there, but the rest of the time, as much as you like."
"Thank you," Sif muttered in confusion, and the others' looks also expressed considerable bewilderment.
"Please," I nod in response. "And now, if that's all for you…" I fall silent, as if suggesting that we speak.
"Um… We are grateful for your time… Your Majesty," Volstagg bowed awkwardly, starting to shake his friends with an eye on the exit.
Having patiently waited for the four of them to disappear, I caught Laura's eye and tried to convey to her with my face how sad all this was. It seemed that the girl understood. I was even wondering when these people would realize that Frigga never left Odin's bedside. I was not going to underestimate the woman - if she wanted, she would talk to anyone without getting up from her chair. True, there was a big question in all this, namely - would she want to talk to Thor's friends? The memory of the former Loki suggested that rather no than yes. Well, of course, as soon as this was discovered, I would again be the one to blame, like a vile deceiver and all that, but hey, who would have doubted it?
So, where was I? Oh yeah, the elimination of Laufey...
A little later. In the corridors of the palace.
Lady Sif walked irritably along the sleeping wing of the palace, intending to look for the Queen in her chambers, but in her soul Asinya was seething with anger. At Thor, who went to save this ungrateful man, at her battle friends, who almost shut her mouth when she wanted to say everything she thought, and, of course, at the new "King", smugly sitting on Odin's Throne and pretending to be a sufferer, but with all this he did not lift a finger to bring his brother back, hiding behind traditions and unwritten rules! But Thor spat on all this in order to go after Loki! And this is his gratitude?!
The latent thoughts and the lonely voice, timidly wondering why the God of Magic needed to be saved at all, were completely ignored by the extremely nervous Asinya. Well, at least the "King" had generously allowed an audience with Lady Frigga. A big mistake on his part - surely his mother would be able to set Loki straight and force him to return Thor! True, I had to argue a little with my friends, who unanimously claimed that since Loki had allowed the visit, there would be no sense in this visit - and that was if I was lucky, otherwise it might turn out worse. But Sif stood her ground, and in the end they gave in, muttering something like "well, maybe a woman will understand a woman better", as if some special understanding was required here, but what can you expect from them?
But the plans for an immediate conversation had to be abruptly changed - passing by the guest quarters, Asinya heard Frigga's voice, and she was clearly not alone and was talking to someone. Eavesdropping was unworthy of a warrior, but... since they did not activate the security system, then it was okay, right? The fact that only members of the royal family could enter this wing of the palace without permission went unnoticed by her. And the girl turned to listen.
– … So how did it happen that mortals began to travel with my son? – Mortals?! In Asgard? Sif had to try not to give away her surprise.
"The Lord has saved me from a fate far worse than death," the calm, soft voice replied, "and so it is my duty to serve him, for my life now belongs to him." Loki had saved someone? Not that it was anything out of the ordinary, but Sif was now very angry with the second prince and would have believed in any of his sins and misdeeds with much more enthusiasm than in a heroic act.
"And he accepted your service?" Frigga was surprised.
"Not right away," the defendant's voice trembled slightly, "but… yes. Although now I realize that he's unlikely to ever need her."
"And how quickly did he agree?" Frigga's voice became increasingly interested.
- I'm not sure... a minute or two...
- Really? It's amazing, - Odin's wife thought about something. - And you?
"My case is somewhat similar to Yuriko's," another female voice answered. "I was a research scientist, a geneticist. And because of my work..." the defendant hesitated, "I became a prisoner of people who wanted to use my knowledge to create intelligent weapons. Loki pulled me and Laura out of captivity and offered his help.
"Loki did what?!" the warrior froze like a stone statue.
"Suggested?" Frigga was also genuinely surprised. "You yourself?"
"Yes," there was bewilderment in her voice, "as I understand it, he obtained information about Laura and me from the interrogation of Yuriko's captor, at the same time preventing the start of a world war..." the respondent hesitated again.
"Is something wrong?" Frigga asked softly.
- Well... he said he did it for the potatoes.
- For... potatoes? - Sif fully shared the Queen's surprise. She knew what a "potato" was, but to perform deeds worthy of the tales of the skalds for its sake?
- Yes. According to him, it does not grow in Asgard, and since he loves it very much, he could not allow the destruction of the Earth and humanity.
- That's Loki all over, - laughed Asinya, - he never admits that he did something on the dictates of his soul, instead inventing a whole bunch of reasons. He's been like that since childhood. Although I am immensely surprised by his behavior.
- Surprised? - she asked again... it seems they called her Yuriko... a strange name.
- Yes. For more than a thousand years, Loki has not acquired his own inner circle, always preferring books or the company of Thor, and it is even more strange that after helping you, he stayed and did not go further, - now Frigga's voice acquired some interested notes. - This is ... interesting. Although, of course, I am especially amazed by how he treats this girl, your daughter, as I understand it, - she clearly addressed one of the interlocutors. - My youngest son has always avoided children, but allows her to follow him around the entire palace. Surprising.
"Laura also treats him strangely," the second woman, whose name has not yet been mentioned, admitted awkwardly. "But I think it's understandable, because he's the first man who… well… doesn't perceive her as an object and a test subject."
"Do you really mean to say?.." the Queen's voice trembled with concern.
- Yes, the intelligent weapon I was working on was Laura. She is a mutant with the ability to regenerate. People from the... very top wanted to make an ideal soldier out of her, and in the future - to establish the production of clones, as soon as the training method was worked out, - the speaker's voice trembled, revealing serious tension and how personal the facts told were for her, therefore, deciding that listening further would be completely indecent, Sif knocked on the door.
"Come in," it took Frigga only a moment to change her voice from the soft rustle of an ordinary woman to the commanding notes of the Queen. This quality of separating personal communication and the official tone always made the young Asinya somewhat envious – she could not do it.
"My Queen," the guest bowed politely, not forgetting to glance at Odin's wife's silent interlocutors.
One of them did not arouse any interest - an ordinary woman who would hardly pick up anything heavier than a spindle or a ladle, and her strange clothes looked rather ridiculous and alien in the setting of the palace of the rulers of Asgard. The other one... Her clothes were also unusual, as were her facial features, at first glance - similar to those of the natives of Vanaheim, but still not quite like those of the women there, but this was not the main thing - a fleeting glance was enough for the warrior to recognize a fellow warrior. The pose, the expression in the eyes, the position of the hands - now this mortal was relaxed, but her whole body simply screamed about the readiness to rush into attack at any moment. This was not a signal of mistrust or aggression, just a habit, a developed and reinforced reflex. And she was beautiful, too, - Asinya noted with a touch of jealousy, - with that exotic beauty of the Vanir, whom she somewhat resembled in her face. Sif even began to suspect why Loki had so quickly agreed to serve this woman... man, what can you expect from them.
"Lady Sif," the older woman nodded, allowing a slight chill to creep into her tone. A bad sign that the guest would have undoubtedly picked up on if she had been in a less agitated state, but alas.
- My Queen, I would like to talk to you...
- Can't it wait? I'm a little busy with my son's guests right now, - the degree of cold increased.
- I'm sorry, but no, the conversation will actually concern your son...
"Okay," Odin's wife replied with a sigh and turned to the mortals. "Please forgive me, I seem to have urgent matters to attend to. I suggest we continue our conversation over dinner tonight, if you don't mind."
"O-of course, Lady Frigga," the "peaceful" mortal replied. Her warrior friend only nodded.
"Then we will leave you," the Queen politely bowed her head and smiled warmly. "I recommend that you while away the time at the observation decks – the sunset will begin soon, and a wonderful view will open up to you."
"Thank you for your hospitality," Yuriko bowed politely.
Smiling once more, this time with just a glance, the elder Asinya turned towards the exit and beckoned Sif to follow her. Soon they found themselves in the corridor.
"So what did you want to talk about?" The smile on Frigga's lips didn't last long – she only had to turn to the warrior.
- About Thor and Loki!
"King Loki," the woman corrected her in a tone that did not allow for even a hint of disobedience. "My son is your King." At this point, Thor's faithful companion began to suspect that her friends were right and that this cunning scoundrel had not objected to their conversation with his mother for no reason.
"I beg your pardon, madam," Sif bowed her head.
- I forgive you. What did you want to say about Thor and Loki?
- Loki... he!.. - the girl took a deep breath, trying to calm down. - We asked him to bring Thor back from exile, because Asgard now needs the power of the God of Thunder more than ever, but he refused, citing some incomprehensible excuses! And this is after what Thor did for him! He seized the throne!
- You. Dare. Accuse. My. Son. Of seizing power? - slowly, without raising her voice, but in such a way that everything inside Sif trembled, the Queen asked again. - Are you saying that he has "unintelligible excuses"? But do you know that he himself went to Midgard so as not to interfere with Thor? That I had to personally seek him out and persuade him to take his father's throne, and he agreed only after I appealed to his Duty?!
"B-but... exile..." Sif bleated lostly.
- It was imposed fairly. As a mother, it pains me to admit this, but as the Queen, I understand my husband's decision. And I am extremely disappointed in you, who called yourselves friends of Thor... and Loki. I am extremely disappointed in you, Sif. Instead of stopping the prince's impetuosity, you decided to indulge his childish whims. And so, - the enraged woman waved her hand, as if suggesting that she look at what was happening to the world around her, - the Allfather fell into a Sleep, for decades, and perhaps centuries. And all you do is slander the Aesir, who was forced to take on his burden? Is that why, in a thousand years of life in Asgard, Loki never dared to accept anyone as his friend? Get out and don't dare to catch my eye!
- My Tsar…
"I said, get out!" The magical blow knocked the air out of the girl's lungs and threw her back a few steps. The results of the audience clearly did not meet Sif's expectations.