Greetings from your friendly neighborhood rat kid.
My name?
We rat kids don't have names: we are shadow, we hunt in the shadow…
And when I say I'm the shadow, I mean I'm in the dark in my room with the computer as my only light source.
And when I say I hunt in the shadow, I'm talking about the unsuspecting internet users I spoil things for.
User 1: Damn it, I haven't even gotten to that chapter yet.
User 2: You jerk, the anime isn't even at that part.
User 3: Forget the anime, the manga isn't either!
User 4: You scum, die you bastard.
User 1: You better hope I never find out who you are.
GYAJAJAJAJAJA! Yes, go on, hate me. Your anger feeds me. GYAHAHAHAHA.
Your desperation paints a smile on my face.
Your resentment… it… it… ahem… GYAJAJAJAJA!
Today I posted 300 spoilers, 400 absurd critiques, and belittled 150 free novel translations.
[Today was a great day.]
It was just as I was muttering my joy that the world decided to slap me across the face.
"Network offline."
That's right: the internet was gone.
What kind of South America is this?... Oh, right, it is South America. Tsk.
I thought nothing worse could happen in this cruel and unjust existence.
I was wrong.
[Now the power's out.]
Oh, gods… oh, humanity…
Woof.
As I despaired in my desperation, it was my cute pet dog, Zeus, who got my attention. It's no exaggeration to say he's my best friend, almost the only being for whom I'm willing to leave the rat cave—to get him food and water.
Still, I swore never to leave him alone with the rat kid's future girlfriend…
Have you read that guy's life? So jealous… I mean, sick. How sick.
Why did I give him that name even knowing that?
Of course, I didn't know at the time, you idiot.
woof
Oops, I got off-topic.
The important thing is that, from the rays of light seeping through the curtain, I deduced it was daytime.
And when things get this bad, one must make reckless decisions. A forbidden act, one that defies the natural order. Oh, youth. Oh, foolishness.
[For now, let's open the window.]
I'm not talking to myself, okay? I'm talking to Zeus.
With the air of a martyr, I pull back the curtain.
And I'm immediately struck by the brutality of the outside world: sunlight.
Ugh. And fresh air.
I know, I'm a disgrace to the rat kid lineage, but the power is out, I have no choice.
[So pretty…]
I can't help but murmur.
The first thing that hits me in the face is the planet in the sky.
It has a blue tone, but not a pretty blue: more like the color of an abandoned, fungus-filled swimming pool.
From the planet's surface, beams of light shot out—some thin as needles, others thick as towers—stabbing into the earth. One of them was piercing the old river bridge, the one that connected our town to the nearby city.
"BZZZZHHHHMMMM."
The cars trying to cross were left floating midway, as if someone had hit 'Ctrl + Z' on physics. First debris, then the cars, and finally all the traffic rising toward the sky, sucked up as if by a celestial vacuum cleaner.
[So pretty…]
Without the smile leaving my face, I silently close the curtain and get into my bed.
[Those are the consequences of going against the rat kid code. Yes, I understand my mistake.]
I cover myself completely with my bedsheet. Of course, I brought Zeus with me. For now, let's just sleep, yes.
"Fools, altering the natural order of things." The image of a certain crow from a certain cartoon enters my mind. I'm sorry…
…..
By that point, I was already aware.
That wasn't a pretty sight or a space ornament. It was a fluorescent sign written in a universal language that said:
(Game Over, suckers.)
Why did I hide under the bed?
Pfff, I wasn't hiding… I was devising a master plan, you understand?
Yes, a high-level strategic plan, the kind that can only be conceived in the fetal position, wrapped in sheets like a depressive burrito, tears included, clinging to your dog as if it were your last human shield.
That's how brilliant the plan was.
Woof.
…Shut up, dog.