Chapter 1- Who The Fuck Wrote This?
JACE >>
It was a slow evening. My laptop was open on my desk, my phone was buzzing with random Discord pings, and my brain was too fried from the day to do anything useful.
Work had been a drag, just endless emails and pointless meetings, and now I was home, staring at the screen trying to think of something fun to watch.
That's when a notification popped up in the #recs channel of some obscure Omegaverse fandom server I'd joined two weeks ago.
And by "joined," I mean—completely by accident. One second, I was scrolling through memes about bad takes on superhero movies, and the next second, I clicked the wrong invite link. Boom. I was stuck in a server full of neon usernames, chaotic shipping wars, and heat memes that should've been flagged as war crimes.
It was the kind of place where people argued for hours about which Alpha had the best "knotting technique." Gross, but sometimes entertaining in a trainwreck way.
Most days, I muted the server. But sometimes, when I needed a laugh, I lurked. Tonight was one of those times.
I had nothing better to do—no plans, no friends blowing up my phone, just me and my leftover pizza getting cold on the counter.
And then, I saw it:
@omega-core: GUYS. New voice drama just dropped. "The Omega Boss and the Four Alphas." I'm SCREAMING. It's free on EchoListen. The audio acting?? The moaning?? Perfection.
I stared at the message for a second. "The Omega Boss and the Four Alphas"? Seriously?
That sounded like a parody title. Like something your drunk friend pitches as a joke at 3 a.m. It sounded like a rejected fanfic title written during a sugar crash.
Who even comes up with that? But everyone in the chat was losing their minds—emojis flying, all caps screaming about how "hot" it was.
Part of me wanted to scroll past, but the other part, the bored part, wondered just how bad it could be.
Still… I could feel curiosity scratching at me. And I'm weak to boredom.
It's like an itch I can't ignore. "Fine," I muttered to myself, rolling my eyes even though no one was around to see it.
"Let's see this masterpiece. What's the worst that could happen? Five minutes of my life wasted?"
Click.
I shoved my earbuds in, opened EchoListen on my phone, and hit play.
The app loaded up with that cheesy loading animation, and I leaned back in my chair, crossing my arms like I was bracing for impact.
A soft chime played first, followed by a dramatic synth swell that built up way too much hype.
Then the narrator's voice kicked in, deep and serious, like he was trying to sell me a mattress or convince me the world was ending.
"In a world ruled by dynamics—Alpha, Beta, Omega—power was everything. And he… was the rarest Omega of them all. Untouched. Unbroken. Unclaimed."
I snorted. "Oh boy. Here we fucking go."
Already, it was laying it on thick. "Rarest Omega"? Come on, that's the laziest trope ever.
I could feel my eyebrow twitching, but I let it keep playing, telling myself I'd give it a fair shot. Maybe it got better.
Then came the voice of the "Omega Boss" himself—soft, breathy, like he was constantly in the middle of catching his breath after doing absolutely nothing.
It was like the actor was trying too hard to sound vulnerable and sexy at the same time, but it just came off as whiny.
"I won't bow… not even to you, Alpha Thorne…"
The "Alpha Thorne" voice responded with a dramatic growl. I could hear the smirk in it.
"You'll bow eventually, little Omega. They all do."
I paused the audio. Hard. My finger jammed the screen so fast I almost knocked my phone over.
"What the hell did I just listen to?" I said out loud, staring at the paused timeline. That exchange was pure cheese.
The Omega sounded like a damsel in a bad romance novel, and Thorne was every over-the-top bad boy cliche rolled into one.
"Little Omega"? Who talks like that? It was embarrassing. I shook my head, wondering if the whole thing was meant to be a joke.
But no, the comments in the Discord were raving about it. People were calling it "peak Omegaverse." Peak? This was rock bottom.
Every scene was already making my blood boil. The Omegas were written as weak little toys, just there to whimper and submit.
The Alphas were nothing more than walking hormones, desperate to knot anything that moved.
The heats were described with the grace of bad fanfiction—awkward, over-the-top, and zero subtlety. And the plot holes? They were so big I could fall into them.
Like, how does an "unbroken" Omega suddenly become a boss without any backstory? It made no sense.
The plot was a cliché-ridden mess, the characters were one-dimensional tropes—especially the "horny Alphas" who seemed to only exist to get the docile Omega pregnant—and the heat scenes were so poorly written they made me cringe. I mean, full-body shudders. Who greenlit this?
Despite my mounting rage, I couldn't stop. It was like watching a bad movie—you know it's trash, but you have to see how it ends.
I became a hate-listener, a masochist of bad fiction, rolling my eyes and muttering insults with every line. "Oh, come on," I'd groan every few seconds. "That's not how any of this works."
I scrubbed back and hit play again. Maybe I misheard. Maybe there was some hidden depth I missed.
Nope. It was worse the second time. The narrator droned on about "fated mates" and "irresistible scents," and I could feel my patience thinning like cheap paper.
I let it play for a few more minutes. The plot—or whatever this fever dream considered a plot—was pure chaos.
The "Omega Boss" fainted five times in one episode alone, cried twice over nothing, and got saved by an Alpha who literally picked him up bridal-style and whispered, "You're mine now."
Bridal-style! In what world is that romantic? It sounded ridiculous, like a scene from a parody skit.
I ripped the earbuds out and flung them on the desk. They clattered across the wood, nearly falling off the edge. "IS THIS A PARODY?" I barked into the void of my room.
My voice echoed off the walls, and I glanced around like an idiot, half-expecting my neighbors to bang on the wall and tell me to shut up.
I stood up, pacing back and forth in my small living room, rubbing my temples like that would erase what I'd heard.
"This has to be satire," I grumbled to myself. "No actual person wrote this seriously. The Omega acts like a damn Victorian fainting bride, clutching her pearls every time an Alpha so much as looks at her—him, whatever.
And we're supposed to believe he's 'strong-willed'? He's allergic to logic and makes every situation worse just by opening his mouth! Like, dude, if you're a boss, act like one.
Don't just faint and hope someone catches you."
My pacing got faster, my socks sliding on the hardwood floor. I was getting worked up, my face heating up from frustration.
Why did this bother me so much? It was just a dumb audio drama.
But no, it was insulting. It took a genre that could be interesting—power dynamics, survival, whatever—and turned it into this shallow puddle of tropes.
The Alphas weren't characters; they were just growly sex machines. And the Omega?
Pathetic.
If I were in that world, I'd handle it way better. I'd outsmart them all.
I sat back down, still fuming, and grabbed my phone. My fingers flew across the screen as I furiously typed into Discord. I had to get this out before I exploded.
@jace-b: I'm sorry. I need y'all to be for real. This audio series?? Straight-up garbage. The Omega Boss is not a boss. He's a baby deer in heat with a God complex. Who the fuck wrote this? Are they twelve??