I'm glad to find Katie at breakfast. She isn't sitting at the fancy people's table. Instead, she's sitting at one of the round tables at the far end of the room with Eleanor, Simon, and Todd. Jasper is nowhere to be seen.
Unlike lunch and dinner, breakfast is the only meal that isn't served to everyone at the same time. Campers are welcome to stroll into the dining hall anytime between 7 am and 10 am, to fill up on pancakes, waffles, eggs, fruit, and cereal.
At the buffet table off to the side, I pile up a short stack, throw on some berries, cover the pancakes in a mountain of crispy bacon and pour on copious amounts of maple syrup. I take my overladen plate and join Katie.
"Morning," she says cheerily.
"Hi," I say, nodding to the entire group.
"Whassup, man?" Todd asks, shoveling scrambled eggs into his mouth.
"Not much," I reply, sitting.
"Eleanor was just telling me about the Mating Run," Katie says.
Apparently, she and Eleanor have become tight in the space of a couple of days. A pang of jealousy twists my heart.
"Wow," I say, tucking in.
"I was just saying based on the statistics there's a seventy percent chance of finding one's mate on the run," Eleanor says. Someone's had too many cups of coffee this morning.
An inexplicable shudder runs down my back. "That's high."
"If every unmated wolf is here and they all run, how come that number isn't even higher?" Katie asks, resting on her elbows.
She pushes her empty bowl away. Wow, she's already finished her usual–muesli and fruit–so she was either hanging around waiting for me or she was really into this convo.
"Not every unmated wolf is here," Eleanor responds like a living, breathing encyclopedia. "Every unmated wolf is invited to the festival but attendance isn't mandatory. Some people can't afford it, or they're out of state. Some just don't feel ready to take part."
So how come I wasn't given a choice? I quietly curse my parents for assuming I would want to be here.
I guess I didn't exactly protest. Katie was excited about doing our first festival together. I figured it wouldn't be so bad as long as we were hanging out.
Jasper is starting to make me wish I'd opted out.
"Right," Katie says, nodding like she's just learned the location of Atlantis. "But everyone who does attend will find their mate if they're also here, right?"
"Not necessarily," Eleanor goes on. "Firstly, not everyone who is here is going on the run. It's expected but again, it's isn't compulsory. And secondly, the bond between mates isn't always obvious. Even with the pumped-up energy from the blue moon, sometimes the connection isn't apparent right away."
"But don't we all just run around sniffing each other?" I ask. "I don't see how two mates could wind up missing each other."
"It's a bit more complicated than that," Eleanor says, desperate to explain further. "The Mating Run takes place in the woods and there are no instructions other than shifting and running. The Alpha's Retreat sits on approximately 50 square miles of undeveloped land. If you and your mate start the run heading in opposite directions there is little chance you'll sense your bond. The blue moon is intense but not that intense."
Eleanor has cracked herself up, laughing at the 'joke' she's made.
"Gosh," Katie says, getting that far away, wistful look she gets when we listen to Taylor Swift or we've just demolished a tub of Ben and Jerry's Phish Food. "I hope that doesn't happen to me."
Her eyes flicker swiftly in my direction.
"That's why you need a plan," Eleanor says, matter-of-factly. "I plan to loop around the camp in continuous concentric circles. Covering the most amount of land in the most amount of time. Guaranteed to increase the likelihood of crossing paths with every attendee by fifty percent." "That's clever," Katie says.
I scoff at my pancakes. "That's insane."
"Don't be a dick," Katie says, nudging me, making me miss my mouth with my fork.
I look over and Eleanor has gone quiet, staring down at her unfinished hash browns.
"Sorry," I say, suddenly feeling awful. "That just sounds like a lot of effort."
Eleanor perks up, shaking out hair straight, black hair and correcting her posture.
"It might seem extreme but I'll be that much closer to finding my mate."
"I guess I just thought mates were like, meant to be and all that. So, like, if it's meant to happen it'll happen. You won't need to force it."
Eleanor looks darkly at her unfinished breakfast once more.
"I guess it just means more to some people than others," she says, barely audibly.
"You got that right."
I turn my attention back to the increasingly soggy short stack in front of me, but I can feel Katie's penetrating stare.
"I...have to go," Eleanor says, picking up her plate and pushing her chair back. "I have volunteer duties."
"No wait, stay," Katie says, sympathy making her voice go all high pitched. "Please, Max was just being a jerk because he's not keen on finding his mate yet."
'Yet?!' More like ever!
As if she can read my thoughts, Katie turns to me. Staring like she's about to shift and bite my face off.
"Um sorry, Eleanor. I didn't mean to be rude, I just didn't sleep well."
"I really should be going anyway, there's a lot I still need to do to get ready for tonight."
With her eyes on the floor, Eleanor shuffles off to her duties.
Katie slaps my arm. "Why did you have to upset her like that?"
"I'm sorry, I haven't had any coffee yet."
"You've been weird ever since we got here," she says, lowering her voice so the bro twins can't hear us. "I know this isn't your dream scenario but can you stop ruining it for other people?"
"I haven't been ruining this for other people. The only reason I came here was because you wanted to do it and I've gone along with everything we've had to do without complaining once."
"You think this is what not complaining sounds like?" she hisses and I stop to think for a second. Maybe I haven't been ruining the festival for everybody, but I haven't been making it fun for Katie either.
I open up my mouth to begin apologizing but she's on a roll now.
"You may think finding your soulmate is a big joke but to some of us it's serious."
"I never said it wasn't serious," I mutter.
"No, you just made it clear that you don't give a shit about it!"
Katie's voice has risen from a stage whisper to the cusp of shouting. Her face is red and she looks like her hair is almost about to fly off, releasing the build-up of steam from her brain.
Todd and Simon have stopped flicking tater-tots at each other with their forks and are staring at us.
"Katie, calm down…" I've chosen the exact wrong thing to say to an un-calm person, but Katie isn't the type to flip her lid. She stops looking at me and turns her attention to the middle of the table. Her chest rises and falls with intentionally deep breaths. Her face is redder than before, the flush in her cheeks rising in splotches. Tears are welling in her unmoving eyes.
"Look, I'm sorry, okay? I had a weird night and I'm not on form…" "You had a weird night," she says, shaking her head slightly.
"What's your excuse for yesterday then?"
"Yesterday?"
"When you dropped me for Aisha without a second thought."
"I apologized for that. I was just excited to meet her."
Katie huffs and finally turns to face me. Her furious expression drops away and I see the sadness that's been fueling her anger, rising to the surface.
"Is that all?" she asks, her voice cracking.
"What do you mean?"
"Tonight when we take part in the Mating Run, who would you rather discover is your mate? Her or me?' My pancakes churn in my stomach asKatie's question reverberates in my ears.
Her or me?
The honest to the Moon Gods truth is I've never really thought about who my mate might be. I guess I've never thought about Katie in that way. We've been friends forever. We know each other better than we know ourselves. I've never even considered it.
Clearly, she has.
When it comes to Aisha the thought might have crossed my mind.
But just for a second, like watching from the platform as an express train speeds through the station.
Aisha is cool and good at ballet, if I had to wind up with a stranger for a mate I'd want it to be her. But I wouldn't hate it if Katie and I turned out to be mates either. It would just be weird because she's family.
Katie stares at me demandingly as I think this over, and somewhere in my expression the truth––that while I don't particularly want to wind up mated to either of them, I've never even considered it an option with Katie––must shine through.
"I see," she says as the light in her eyes, the warmth that's always made me feel at home, disappears.
"Katie…" "Don't," she says, pulling her hand away as I go to touch her.
"Maybe I'm the idiot for wanting something from someone who has no clue. Or maybe you are." She looks me dead in the eye. "Because at least I'm not pining over some prima-ballerina who is so far out of my league she's not even playing the same sport."
"What are you talking about?"
"Everyone knows that Aisha is going to end up mating with Jasper.
It's obvious."
"What?" This new information seems to have come out of nowhere.
Even though I know Katie is lashing out, trying to make me feel as bad as she is, something inside me lurches forward, an aching feeling I can't explain.
"Aisha is going to be mated to Jasper and you'll just have to deal with whichever unlucky girl gets stuck with you."
"No, she isn't!" The words flow out of me like an evil spirit, a demon I can't control. I slap a hand over my mouth but it's too late. The nasty sprite is out.
"So it's true?" Katie says. "You'd rather end up with her, a stranger, than with me?"
I have no idea how breakfast with Eleanor has turned into the biggest fight Katie and I have ever had. But here we are.
"That's not what I meant…," I say, but Katie's fragile facade is already cracking. I've seen her like this before. When our ballet teacher shouted at her for not bending her knees enough. When her first boyfriend, Eric Peterson, broke up with her in seventh grade. Her lips start quivering, a funny wrinkled pattern appears on her chin, her eyes turn pink.
My best friend is about to cry and it's my fault.
"Katie––" "Stop…" With a speedy determination, Katie begins marching toward the door. I don't even understand how I've managed to upset her so badly. I have no idea why the idea of Aisha and Jasper winding up together set me off. Honestly, I couldn't care less. So why did I snap?
I look across the table at Simon and Todd, who are staring like I've just crashed my car and it's leaking oil.
"Go after her, dude!" Simon says. In a second I'm on my feet, chasing Katie out onto the gravel forecourt.
By the time I make it outside Kate is already at the edge of the forest and showing no signs of slowing down.
"Katie!"
I manage to catch up to her and go to take her arm but she pulls away from me.
"Leave me alone!" she yells before stomping off through the underbrush.
Out of breath and thinking it might be best to give her some space, I let her go.
Whenever we've fought before it's always been about silly trivial things–a broken toy, an unshared muffin–but this feels different.
Less of a tremor and more of a city-levelling earthquake.
Katie doesn't look back as she disappears amongst the foliage.
I just hope we're able to rebuild.