I fluff up my pillow as best as I can then drop it back onto the carpet. I stare longingly at the bed from where I've laid a spare blanket out on the floor.
What have I done?
Why did I volunteer for this? There was no way Jasper and I were going to sleep in the same bed, no sir. And I guess I thought he needed to rest up more than me.
But despite the faded olive-colored carpet, the floor is as hard as concrete and my butt is already starting to ache.
I'm beginning to think my sacrifice was a big mistake, huge.
It's going to be a long night.
The torrential pour of the shower disappears and I glance up toward the bathroom. Jasper's left the door ajar. There's only a Snickers bar sized gap through which steam is escaping but it's enough. I can see Jasper. He's wrapped one towel around his waist and is drying his hair with another. Water droplets speckle his shoulders and back.
Oh my Moon Gods...I can't look away. Every muscle in his back moves as he rubs at his scalp.
My stomach is full of moths, my mouth is watering...
Before I know it he's turning around but I can't tear my eyes away from his bare torso...
Until he spots me watching and in a panic, I dart my eyes to the ceiling. I count the dead bugs collected in the light fixture.
The bathroom door slams shut.
It's going to be a really long night.
Up until now, I haven't noticed the weird energy between Jasper and me. We've been too distracted by rogue break-ins and on-coming traffic.
But now that we are in this musty, dimly lit motel room and everything is quiet, I can feel it. The pull. It's stronger than ever.
I have to stop myself from thinking about him, imagining him in the shower...I squeeze my eyes tight and I flop down on my blanket. I try to bury my head in the pillow.
A minute later and I hear the bathroom door open. I don't move or look up just in case I get another mind-melting look at Jasper. Everything is quiet except for his footsteps, and then the sounds of covers being pulled back and the squeak of bedsprings.
"Do you need any more pillows?" he asks, breaking the silence.
"Uh, no, I'll be fine," I lie. I decide to risk it and I sit up. Jasper is wearing a black t-shirt––thank goodness––and sitting cross-legged under the covers with his back against the headboard.
I breathe a little sigh of relief.
"Thank you," he says. "For taking the floor."
"Oh, that's alright. It's pretty comfy actually."
Jasper shakes his head a little.
"You don't have to do that."
"What?"
"Make me feel better."
"I...wasn't, it really is comfy!"
He laughs a little, looking at me like he knows I'm lying.
"Okay," he says. "I'm going to meditate a little before I sleep. Do you want the light off?"
"Ah, no, that's okay. You can leave it."
I lie back down and twist about trying to find the most comfortable position, settling finally on my back.
Jasper's breaths become long and deep.
Eventually, he flicks off the light but a question has popped into my mind. I open my eyes and the room is dark except for a strip of orange light poking through the gap in the curtains.
"Hey, Jasper?"
He sighs quietly.
"Yes?"
"Why do you meditate so much?' "I need to make sure my mind is attuned to the pack. But it takes practice."
"Attuned like how you can sense Aisha? What's that about anyway?"
"Every alpha has the ability to sense the members of their pack.
What they're feeling, if they're in pain. It helps us know if the pack is in danger."
"So your dad can do it too?"
Jasper scoffs. "He's amazing. He can pinpoint the exact location of every Elite Pack wolf. I've got nothing on him."
"But you can sense Aisha really well?"
"That's because we're close. It's easier if I know the person...if I care about them."
He swallows.
I stare at the unfamiliar ceiling and wonder if he's doing the same.
"It takes work to be as attuned as my father," he says.
"So you can't sense everyone?"
"I'm still working on it. My dad says I don't practice hard enough."
"I find that hard to believe."
I laugh quietly and Jasper does too.
"Can you sense me?" I ask when we fall quiet again.
My heart starts thumping so hard I can hear it.
Why did I ask that? Idiot!
"Yes," he says. "I can sense you, Max."
Silence. I hold my breath and clutch my blanket between my fingers. A car whooshes past outside.
The bedsprings creek as Jasper rolls over.
"Good night," he says, ending the conversation.
"...night."
I wake up in the night to the sound of bedsprings and moaning.
"No...don't...don't…," Jasper groans.
I sit up and look around in the darkness. Nothing has changed since we went to sleep.
Only Jasper is tossing and turning like he's possessed.
"Dad...I can't…Mom..."
"Jasper?"
He won't stop mumbling and twisting so I throw off my blanket and walk to the side of the bed.
Sweat is beading on his forehead and his face is squished like he's in pain.
"Jasper," I say again, a little more forcefully.
Super slowly, I reach out and take hold of his shoulder. I say his name again and shake him lightly.
His eyes burst open as he sucks a short, fast breath in through his nose. Our eyes lock and he looks confused, as if he has no idea where he's woken up.
"It's me," I say, retracting my hand. "You were having a nightmare."
He breathes a sigh of relief and relaxes into his pillow.
"Did I wake you?" he asks.
"Not really, that floor is actually pretty difficult to sleep on." My bottom lip is trembling a little. "Are you okay?"
He runs a hand over his face. "It was just a dream."
"Okay, good night."
I turn to walk back to my spot on the floor but Jasper gabs my wrist.
I freeze.
I don't dare look back so I just stand there with Jasper holding me in place.
"Stay," he says.
"What?"
"The floor isn't comfortable just...stay."
He lets go of my wrist and moves to the other side of the mattress.
I rush to my floor bed and grab my pillow.
My pulse races faster than a formula one car as I return to the bed.
Jasper is already lying on his side, facing the opposite wall.
Carefully, I place my pillow against the headboard and slide in.
I lie, with my eyes wide open and my arms crossed over my chest like I'm lying in a coffin.
"Night," Jasper says.
I blink once then twice. He's right there, radiating heat.
My whole body is trembling.
What would happen if I were to move my hand a couple of inches to my left?
Would he kick me out or…something else? Do I even want that?
I'm lost in my thoughts until I notice Jasper's breathing has slowed.
He's asleep.
I roll over onto my side and try to forget about the boy behind me.
Before I know it, I'm out as well.
In the morning, I roll over and squint at the sun blaring through the open curtains. It's hot, too hot. I'm sweating like a slice of ham left out of the fridge. Frantically, I push back the covers.
The bed is empty, there's a ruffle in the sheet next to me where Jasper slept.
He's not here.
For a second, I'm scared he's left me and driven on to rescue Aisha by himself. I wouldn't put it past him.
With a yawn, I sit up and take in the room. It's less creepy in the light of day. Just a plain motel that's seen better days.
My mouth is chalky so I roll out of bed and grab a bottle of water from the mini-bar.
Put it on the alpha's tab.
My phone is sitting on the coffee table and I glance at the time–– 7:01 a.m.––then groan at the string of texts and unanswered calls from my parents. In all the excitement I never found a moment to call them and tell them I wasn't coming home.
I'll have to speak to them later, I think when I spot a note on the bedside table.
"Gone to get car," it says in a hurried scribble. Phew. Jasper hasn't deserted me. The wave of relief I feel is more potent than I'd like to admit.
I go to the bathroom to freshen up. I'm almost fully awake when a horn blares outside.
Stepping out into the sunlight is like walking into a literal fire. I have to shade my eyes with my hand to make out Jasper standing next to his car with his arm sticking through the open window, his hand on the horn.
"Let's go," he says.
While Jasper drops the key back at reception I grab my things and jump into the passenger seat. I send off a quick text to my parents.
"I'm fine. With Jasper. We have to go get Aisha from Pittsburgh.
Call you when I'm back."
I hit send and wince, then immediately turn my phone off. I know they're going to fly right off the handle when they see that text. The latest I've ever stayed out without their permission was the night of Katie's sweet sixteenth when we snuck into a piano bar in Manhattan. We didn't even drink but my parents grounded me for a month.
I've tried to soften the blow as much as possible but they're not going to be happy when they find out I've gone on a road trip to Rogue City to rescue a girl I barely know from some properly dodgy bad guys.
It'll be worth the grounding if we can save Aisha.
With a fresh tire and a good night's sleep, we hit the road.
"How did you sleep?" I ask once we're back on a proper highway.
"Fine," Jasper says curtly.
"It looked like you were having a pretty intense dream," I say, trying to sound casual.
"I don't remember."
I turn to look at Jasper but his eyes don't leave the road.
"You have to remember. You woke up. You told me to sleep in the bed."
"Yeah, you shouldn't have done that," he says coldly.
It wasn't like I even wanted to! He's the one who asked me to stay. I don't know why I thought things this morning would go any other way. I should have expected this from Jasper.
He's back to being a jerk.
"So you're just going to pretend like you don't remember anything?" I ask.
"There's nothing to remember," he says and pushes down on the accelerator.
I guess that means the conversation is over.
A coverage of grey clouds has rolled in by the time we leave the highway and begin snaking our way along the cracked and faded roads toward Rogue City. Grass and weeds shoot up along the sides of the tarmac.
There are no houses, just the occasional shack in the middle of a field.
Plumes of smoke are rising just on the other side of the horizon.
Dark, smoky towers, like columns holding up the clouds.
"What are those?" I ask.
"They keep the furnaces burning for power," Jasper replies.
"So that's it?"
Finally, Rogue City comes into view. The first thing I see are the factories and warehouses. It's an industrial graveyard. All the buildings look abandoned and tumble-down.
It's just how Jasper described it. And if the outside appearance is anything to go by I shudder to think what's going on inside those buildings.
But then I notice a change in the landscape. The dusty, weed-infested grassland drops away, replaced by crops––neatly arranged in rows and well-tended. Corn and tomatoes and other vegetables grow in abundance on all sides.
"This looks like a farm," I say.
"The rogues have had to fend for themselves for a long time.
They're cut off from wolf society but they have no place in the human world either."
"That's tough," I say.
The more farmland we pass the more I start to think this doesn't look like a run-down haven for crime and more like a scene from the black and white bits of The Wizard of Oz.
It isn't exactly picturesque. But there is life here. People must take care of these crops. From what I've been told about rogues I didn't know they could trim their toenails let alone master agriculture.
"Have you been here before?" I ask Jasper, who doesn't seem as interested in the surroundings as me.
"No, but my father has told me what happens here."
"It looks like corn," I say, staring at a harvest-ready field. "Corn is what happens here."
"They're rogues," Jasper says, snarling. "They'd kill you before you even had a chance to pick an apple."
"But it doesn't look like––" "It doesn't matter what it looks like. They're all the same and they have Aisha."
I shut my mouth. I don't think Jasper is about to change his mind about this.
"We should park up somewhere before we get too close to the city."
I nod, trying to be encouraging but the truth is...I'm starting to get nervous. Nothing on this trip has been quite like I expected and despite the humble farmland throwing me through a loop, I know somewhere in this place Aisha is being held against her will.
Jasper parks his car behind a clump of trees, a good distance away from the warehouse graveyard.
"Wait here," he says, stepping out of the car and quietly pressing his door shut.
What?!
Quickly as I can, I push my door open and jump out.
"I'm coming with you."
"No, it's too dangerous."
I huff but I don't have a counterargument. He's right. Going in there is super dangerous. But if he's willing to do what it takes to get Aisha back, so am I. And...I don't want him going in alone.
"I can help," I say. "What if something happens?"
"Then I'll deal with it. You'll only get in the way."
I hate that my jaw tenses and my eyes cloud over with tears. I feel like a petulant kid being told he can't use the swingset.
"But…" "No, Max. For once just do what I tell you."
I back down, letting my shoulders drop.
"Wait here," Jasper says one last time before creeping off along the tree line.
I watch him disappear between two bushes and suddenly my heart starts pounding.
Maybe it's the thought of being left behind for a rogue to stumble upon and disembowel. Or maybe it's the sight of Jasper walking off into danger. But I know I can't stay here.
As gently as possible, I close the passenger-side door and lift my nose into the air. Jasper has left a trail of lemony mint and cherry blossom for me to follow.
Rogue City here I come.