"I'm not going."
"Why not?!" Katie glares at me over a sales rack in Forever 21.
"I've been thinking about it all week," I say as she goes back to dress hunting.
Last Monday, Aisha wouldn't leave my house until I promised to at least think about going to the Harvest Moon Celebration. But no matter how much I think about it it doesn't feel right.
"Why would I put myself through that?!"
"Because Aisha might be right. Maybe Jasper wants you to go so that he can choose you in front of everybody. Wouldn't that be romantic?"
She pulls out some fuzzy neon orange thing, scrunches up her face, and puts it back where she found it.
"There's a better chance he'll spontaneously combust in front of everyone," I say.
"You're being so pessimistic." She holds up a shiny silver number, considers it, then hangs it back on the rack.
"Am I? He's been a jerk the entire time I've known him and when he isn't being a dick he ignores me completely."
"The stakes are higher now. What if he's realized what he's about to give up and wants a way out?" She runs her hands down the sleeve of a blue velvet dress. "If you don't go you're basically saying you don't care."
"Maybe I don't."
She stops moving and looks at me with her eyebrows raised.
I crumble under her stare. "Fine, I do care. But that's why I can't go.
It'll be too hard."
"No one ever said love was supposed to be easy. Ah!" She pulls out a pink dress from the rack with a bow on the waist. "This is perfect!"
"What are we doing here, again?" I ask. "Why do you need the dress?"
"Because I need something to wear when you take me to the Harvest Moon Celebration as your plus one."
She spins on her heel and heads for the register.
"Katie, wait up, I'm not going."
She stops and faces me. "Max, love is like shopping. You search and search for the perfect outfit. The one that matches your skin tone and fits like a glove. And it's hard work. Sometimes it's all-out war. But you never give up. And when you find the outfit you've been looking for," she holds up the dress, "you never let it go. You fight for it."
I turn my face away. Everyone is so intent on making me go to this stupid party. And for what? So I can watch as Jasper pulls out my heart and stamps on it in front of a bunch of stuffy, judgemental wolves.
"I know it's hard for you to admit," Katie says, softening her tone.
"But you love Jasper, don't you?"
I glance back at her, a deer in headlights.
I don't even have to say anything for Katie to know she's right.
"So let me go and pay for this amazing dress," she says with a knowing smile. "And then we'll go find you something to wear."
"My shirt won't stay tucked in," I say, squirming in the passenger seat of my mom's car.
"It won't if you don't sit still," Katie says, trying to calm me down before my mother notices something's up.
Mom volunteered to drive us out to the Hamptons, so at least I haven't had to pay for a cab this time. Not that there hasn't been a trade off.
Sitting next to her in the car for two hours pretending I'm not completely freaking out is worth ten times the price of cab fare.
Luckily, she's so excited for the chance to sneak a look at the alpha's house she hasn't been paying close attention.
Her and dad were pretty impressed that I'd been invited to the Harvest Moon Celebration. They've never been. The guest list is usually pretty exclusive. Military leaders, wolves in the top political circles, and big players in wolf society. I roll my eyes thinking of all the stuff-crusts that'll be there tonight. And how much I'm going to stick out in my on-sale blazer and scuffed sneakers.
"Uh, is this the right house?" I ask as we pull up outside the gates.
"You tell me, honey. You've been here before," Mom says.
The house looks completely different than the last time I was here.
Strings of lights have been hung up all along the fence and across the open gate. Colorful balloons have been arranged in an arch over the driveway.
It almost looks welcoming.
A line of fancy cars are snaking their way up the drive. Mom lifts her chin as she joins the parade in her humble Prius.
The closer we get to the door the more I start to squirm. My well-starched collar and the burgundy bow tie Katie picked out are cutting off my airways.
"Are you alright?" Mom asks, glancing over.
"Uh, yeah. Totally fine."
We drive so slowly we might miss Jasper's announcement and have to turn straight back around.
The cherry tree on the front lawn has lost all of its blossom and stands barelimbed, wrapped in fairy lights, next to a valet station.
"You kids can hop out if you like," Mom says. "This could take a while."
"Okay, thanks for driving us, Mrs. Remus," Katie says, jumping out the backdoor.
"Thanks, Mom," I say, pulling on the door handle.
"Max?"
"Yeah."
"Everything is okay, isn't it?"
I've got one leg hanging out of the car but I can't turn away. Not with Mom looking at me like it's my first day of school and she's scared I won't make any friends.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"You've just been quiet lately. Ever since you came back from the camp."
Does she know something she's not telling me? Can she sense that something's up?
"Nothing's wrong, Mom." Why can't I just tell her?!
"Well, you know you can always, always talk to me and your father about anything, don't you?"
I don't reply because if I talk I might cry and then she'd know something was up.
"I mean it. Anything."
I nod.
"Okay, sweetie. Have a good night."
"Thanks, Mom." I slide out of the car.
"And Max!" Mom calls from her open window as I join Katie. "You look gorgeous!"
Warmth spreads in my cheeks. I wanted to slip in undetected but all of the Elite Pack's finest are shooting me weird looks.
A man at the door checks our invitation before waving us inside.
The house is glowing with candlelight. Balloons and streamers are hanging from the ceiling. They've done well to bring some party vibes to this usually cold and vacant space.
"It's packed," I say, shouting to be heard over the music and chatter.
We're surrounded by a sea of suits and super-chic dresses.
"Which way?" Katie asks as we pass an ice sculpture.
We elbow our way from the entrance hall into the living room.
Wait staff are slipping between guests with trays of drinks and bite-sized snacks. I grab a few as a server passes and shove them into my mouth, hoping to eat away my nerves.
The glass-paneled wall has been rolled back making it impossible to tell where the house stops and the garden begins.
"Let's go outside, this is too much." I wave Katie along.
The fresh air is a welcome relief but glancing across the yard I soon realize this is where the party really ramps up.
Fires rage on plinths set up around the expansive back garden, casting dancing shadows onto the palms. Lights dangle overhead. White plastic flooring has been laid down to protect the grass, with tables and chairs arranged in a crescent formation around the outside. Several well-stocked bars are set up in the corners, a DJ is spinning tracks to my right and at the far end of the garden a stage––framed by an over-the-top wild-flower arrangement––has been erected.
"It looks like a wedding," Katie says open-mouthed.
She's right. The alpha's estate has been made up as if they're hosting the most extravagant wedding ever. And that's coming from someone who's watched every season of 'The Bachelor'.
I gaze across the milling socialites and political power-houses.
Everyone looks so smart and tall.
My shoulders hunch and I shrink into myself, until Katie links her arm through mine.
"Let's walk."
We take the paved footway toward the pool which is lit up and glowing turquoise. It's the same as the last time I was here. Only now people are sitting on the loungers in ball gowns and suits, sipping bubbly drinks and cocktails.
"Can you see Jasper anywhere?" Katie asks.
"No sign of him."
I can't sense him either. There's too much perfume and wolf pheromone in the air.
A bro-y voice behind us breaks through the chatter. "Whoa, babe!"
We spin around to find Todd and Simon coming up the path, waving.
"Oh my Moon Gods," I say.
"Oh no," Katie says.
My friend's complexion has turned instantly blotchy, panicked red patches rising from her chest.
"What are they doing here?" she mutters.
"Hey babe," Todd says, taking Katie in his arms. His attempt to kiss her right on the mouth is thwarted when she turns her head to the side. His lips smack against her cheek.
"What's up, gorgeous?" Simon tries to do the same but his kiss lands on Katie's forehead.
"Hi, both of you," Katie says, like she just inhaled New York's entire supply of helium. "What are you both doing here?"
"My dad's an officer with the pack's army," Todd says, too proudly.
"And my mom works in the alpha's PR department," Simon says.
"When you told me you were coming I asked if I could be her plus one."
"Wow, that's so great," Katie says.
"Wait a minute," Todd says, turning to his bro. "I asked my dad if he'd bring me because Katie told me she was coming."
Katie's mouth is flapping about like she wants to speak but nothing is coming out.
"Why would Katie have told you she was coming, dude?" Todd asks, then turning to Katie, "I thought you were done speaking to him?"
"I...I…" Katie stammers.
"I thought you'd given up speaking to him!" Simon says.
"What's going on, Katie?" Todd says and they both turn to look at her.
Katie knew this day was going to come eventually. I guess she just wasn't expecting it tonight.
"I might leave you guys to it," I say, awkwardly excusing myself. I wish I could stay and help but I feel like they could use some privacy. And besides, I have a mission of my own.
Katie nods, distracted by her current dilemma. I squeeze her hand.
"Good luck. Nice to see you both again."
I wave at Todd and Simon but I don't think they register me, they're both staring at Katie waiting for an explanation.
"So what's going on?" Simon asks as I wander away.
Poor Katie. Being mated isn't easy for anyone.
I wander back out into the midst of the party keeping my eyes open for Jasper. He's nowhere to be found.
I pull out my phone and text Aisha. "Where are you???!!!"
"Sorry, rehearsal ran late," she replies. "Be there soon. xxx" In desperate need of a breather, I head toward the side of the house where I think I can find a quiet spot to regroup. As soon as I turn the corner I dart backward.
Jasper is standing in the shadows talking to someone. He's pacing back and forth, rubbing his temple while his other hand rests on his hip. I have to peer further to see who he's talking to.
Olivia is leaning against the wall, with her head bowed.
Jasper approaches and reaches out to take her hand but she pulls away.
He breaks. He drops his face into his palms, then runs his fingers through his hair. He's majorly stressed.
Olivia takes a deep breath and then says something. Man, I wish I could read lips. Jasper looks instantly relieved. He takes both of Olivia's hands and then pulls her into a hug.
I wish I could pretend I had no idea what just happened.
But I do have an idea. And it makes me nauseous.
When Jasper steps back, Olivia doesn't meet his eye, she leaves him standing there. The relief I saw on his face a moment ago vanishes. He leans forward placing one hand on the wall to keep himself upright, and forces himself to take deep breaths.
Before I know it, I'm stepping toward him.
"Jasper."
He snaps to attention, running a hand over his head to smooth out his messy hair.
"Jasper, you don't have to do this––" "I don't have time for this," he says and pushes past me.
"Jasper, you have to listen to me. I know why you invited me here."
He freezes.
"And why is that?"
"Because you wanted me to stop you. You wanted me to be here so you wouldn't have to go through with it. And, well, I'm here."
I wait with my palms open to Jasper, my arms lifted a little as if they're waiting to welcome him in.
Jasper laughs. A cold-hearted, heart-stopping chuckle.
"I didn't invite you so that you could save me."
"Then why?"
"I invited you so that you would be here when I reject you. So that you could see it for yourself."
I take a step back, feeling like I've been shot point-blank in the chest. I'm an idiot. How could I have been so stupid?
Of course, Jasper wasn't sending me an encrypted cry for help. He was doing what he always does–being the biggest jerk I've ever met. Only 'jerk' feels too generous for what he's done this time. No, Jasper has officially graduated from jerk to complete and utter asshole!
Not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry, I run.
"Stick around, Max," Jasper calls. "You don't want to miss the show!"