Cassian's POV
Her hands fall limp, her eyes widening like she's seeing a ghost, and she stumbles back the second her body brushes mine.
My gaze is piercing at her, and I guess she can hear the words I haven't said.
"You…" her voice is shaky, and she swallows, takes in breath before forcing out new sets of words. "I was just…"
And yet she fails again.
"Just what?"
"Wanted to get…"
She's starting to sweat despite the cold that exists, twisting her fingers that are already shaky. I'm too hard on her, I think. But I want to see her take up a reaction—of any kind.
I touch her arms and step closer. I feel her body soften, her breath loud as though her heart is beating against her chest as a drum.
"You were going to escape?"
I want to see how she will put up a lie.
Instead, she shuts her eyes, and when she opens them, she simply says "maybe".
That's weird. Not what I was expecting.
My fingers walk up her arms until I'm touching the hands of her bra. Her muscles tense at that spot, and I wouldn't have noticed if not for my distinctive vision.
She thinks it's all about her at this moment. But she doesn't know there's also an effect on me. Her gaze raises for her eyes to lock with mine.
And the expression in them… I doubt it's all about fear. But what else? That she feels the connection?
"Elara," I say.
My voice is strangely soft and calm.
"You're my mate, and everything about you confirms that."
I'm waiting for her to say something. Anything would do.
But she doesn't.
My hands walk further from her shoulders to touch her neck. Her body is vibrating.
"I'm not your mate," she says.
She loosens my grip off her neck, turns in the direction of the room. She slips and I rush to stop her body from touching the floor.
This delicate body of hers shouldn't take a fall.
My heart races a little, and this feeling… should I call it excitement or fear seems to trigger something in me other than the curse. Or maybe it's the curse. But I feel the same warmth that always comes along with the curse. Is it the way I'm in close contact with her?
My hand rests on her shoulders. I lose that deep frown I put on.
"Cassian." She whispers with a weak breath, but still lays on the floor.
"Okay?"
I hold her up, but she applies no effort in getting on her feet, instead, uses all her strength for our eyes to lock.
"You must have seen me before now, haven't you? Somehow?" Her palms rest on my chest, her chest almost pressing against me.
Her countenance is complex, it's more of curiosity?
My body seems to weaken more. She feels the same strong sense of familiarity about me. It is hard to understand.
"You call me your mate."
I nod. Her face gets so close that her breath touches my skin.
"Why is that?" Her hands walk up to my neck, but with a soft touch.
"I just know. Everything tells me so, and the first moment my eyes caught sight of you also gave the hint."
"Hint? Just a hint?"
"It's more than that." I try to explain, but I can't find the right words to put together. "It's more than knowing… it's just…"
I can feel her weak gaze digging into my skin, probing and searching. I can't keep or show my strong frame at this point. No, I'm not melting. But gazing at her is just like holding an egg so it doesn't break.
"I had a lover," she says. "Who betrayed me because of you, but this feeling never—"
She stops.
I wish she goes on to complete that statement.
Her left hand walks up from my neck to rest on my cheek, and I don't consider I'm holding her too close. Only the softness of her boobs tells me how soft and fragile she is. That softness pulls my mind off the race of breaking the curse.
"Hmmm…" I inhale softly.
My hands go around her waist, and at first, I don't notice I'm going too far.
"And to think such a hint comes at a time I am supposed to be… some sort of sacrifice to cure your curse?"
I inhale so close to her face. "I've never understood such a hint, and it's like an instinct that forges the connection neither of us can deny."
Her fingers brush into my hair, and it seems she is taking prints of me in her mind.
"That instinct can never lie," I say.
"Why do I feel you're someone I must have met before this moment?" she asks instead.
"It could be part of the instinct."
I draw her closer. Our lips touch. Our tongues come in contact. I think she should resist as she is wary of me, but she doesn't. She hasn't said she believes me, or accepts the mate bond.
It shouldn't be this easy to kiss her, should it?
Soon, she steps back, but not in a way to resist, but like she timed how long the kiss was supposed to last.
She goes into the room, and I stand, frozen on the spot she's left me, staring at her seated on the bed. My night vision blurs till it looks like I am staring at her, just her shadow.
Her eyes stare at me and the scent of vanilla smoke confirms her presence.
Is all this real? Mated to a human?
"Cassian." Lyra's voice hits me like needles.
She stands almost ten steps from me, a candle burning on a saucer in her hands. As though counting her steps, she gets closer.
"You didn't do it…" she stops. "And you're here… the blood moon ritual is supposed to—"
"Stop." I cut her.
She gets close enough to stare at Elara. "The human… your chance to break the curse under the full moon…"
Her gaze shifts between Elara and I. Elara still has her eyes on me, her hand slowly massaging her knee cap.
Lyra places the burning candle on the floor, then touches my arms. "What is it about her?"
I jerk her hands off, but have to look at her after that.
She rubs her palms roughly against each other, almost peeling her skin off. "You were joking, right?"
She forces a chuckle that doesn't suit the emotional tune of her voice, and it's slowly fading as she wants to hear me say what she wants.
"You didn't mean those words. I know you didn't. I should become your mate."
Against how she intends to speak, her eyes become wet, pointing her fingers at the room. She cracks her knuckles. No explanation I can say would make her understand.
She takes a step into the room.
I stop her. "Don't go inside."
"She's human," she says. "Not like us."
"I know."
"Then it was all a joke, right?" She forces the smile again.
"It isn't."
This is hard for her to bear.
It unlocks the tears at the sides of her eyes, and the tears flow freely across her cheeks, producing muffled groans from her.
Am I to console her? That's an act above me.
I have no consolation for her, except what I'd told Elara—I just knew.
The room is void of all sound except her quiet sob that comes like loudspeakers to my ears. But soon, almost unnoticeable, like a little change in rhythm, I hear footsteps.
First I see candle lights. Velora comes into view from the left side of the hallway. She stops at the sight of me.
I still hear footsteps.
Alaric comes in from the right side, also holding a candle. He doesn't stop. His pace increases. His face… sweat forms on it. It is deeper than a frown, rage?
It doesn't seem so.
"The moon is still full," he says. "The curse… it's reaching another milestone."
"I…"
"This is another moment." He walks into the room. "The human is here, and… what you say in that gathering has no meaning." His voice thickens. "Not when everything about you is."
My palms go cold, and I clench my fist. "We've gone past it."
I must have shaken my head a thousand times, walking inside the room, closer to the bed, closer to Elara.
"I told you already!" My voice covers the room.
Alaric walks closely behind me. Lyra and Velora are standing outside.
Elara doesn't move, her eyes still on me. Her expression is flat. Nothing to read from it.
"You would change!" Alaric's voice tenses up. "You would become completely feral, you don't get it?"
I understand him and already have an idea of what's at stake. Becoming feral. That is almost similar to the death of my will, the death of my soul. It means I would lose control over myself to become a wild beast—a wolf with unclear instincts—everything would become bad for me.
But it's strange. That doesn't seem to bother me at this point.
Before now, I already felt lost and Elara's presence seems to rekindle something deep in me. Losing her at this point means I'll still be in darkness, even with the curse gone.
My left leg touches Elara, and my eyes fall on her necklace.
"Your necklace," I mutter between breaths.
I don't know why it calls my attention.
She pulls her eyes off me to wrap it with her hands as if guarding the source of life itself.
Her necklace…
It brings back memories of my late parents, but I can't find any connection.