Jay's PoV
The silence between us is louder than any fight we've ever had
Keifer sits across fthe room. Elbows on his knees, loke he's waiting for a sentence that was not completed yet…maybe he was. Maybe I'm the one on the edge of our fight
"I got you that lemon tea you like"he says, quietly
I barely glanced at the cup, "thanks" I muttered, colder than I expected
He didn't push, he never does….not anymore
He used to be louder than me. Cocky grin, sarcasm in every word, fire in every breath but now he just watches as if I'll vanish if he moves too fast.
And I might…
I wish I could stop loving him
It would be easier if I could hate him for what he did. For the lies. For using me to get back at my brother. For the way he let me fall—fast,hard and fully—while he kept his secrets like knives behind his back
But then he looked at me with eyes that broke when I said I knew. When he said
'I never ment to hurt you not now. Not when I was soo close. Because I love you'
It ruined me, alright
But I didn't walk away, maybe because, I'm still hoping for him. Hoping that not all of it was a lie.
When I took that pregnancy test and saw those two red lines I almost leaped with joy but after what happened all I could think was that he'd miss this little joy and wonder that brought hope and gave me a purpose to live
He shifts slightly, his voice pulling me back "I'm leaving in two days"
"I know" I whispered
"Just…..say something"
"What do you want me to say" I snap, finally facing him "That I love you? That I've forgotten what you did? Or that I forgave you? Huh?"
He didn't flinch "You already said that earlier Jay. I just wanna hear that you love me"
My throat tightened
Because even if I'd deny it…he knew that I loved him
I do….but I don't wanna say it out loud
I don't answer just walked away
He follows, of course he does
"I know you hate me" he says "but I love you. It was never a lie. Even if you deny it. Even if you never forgive me. Even then I love you and I always will"
"I never said I don't" I whispered barely audibly
"When I come back from london. I will fix everything. Fix us jay"
"What if I'm not there?"
He freezes
"Are you leaving"
"No" I say "not yet"
"Please Jay just once I wanna hear you being yourself happy again please"
"I don't know if I will ever be happy any time soon"
"You will after you see our tiny creation. They say time heals everything. But it doesn't. It makes things worse. But for us there's nine months to go"
A smile escaped my face. Now I want to believe him...and maybe I might but not now when the wound is still fresh
"I love you" he whispered before going back
"I love you too" l whispered after l was sure he left
The night changes fast....but our love won't