So he commanded to her, "Let's go to the guild and register as adventurers!" He raised his finger high in the sky like a cowboy shooting the bullet up in air.
But before he could even take a step, a thought hit him.
He turned back, eyes narrow.
"How long… can you even stay in human form?"
He was curious. For him it was thirty minutes at best, then boom—game over, back to demon form, and hide somewhere fast.
He wanted to know because he only had thirty damn minutes to rush into town, run to the guild, register, smile for the stupid card, and get the hell out before his boobs and skirt poofed away.
So he asked her, dead serious, "How long can you stay in human form?"
She tilted her head, finger on her chin, thinking hard like it was some math problem.
"Hmm… not sure. One time I stayed in human form for like… a week?"
She tilted her head, finger on her lip, thinking.
"Hmm… not sure. One time I stayed in human form for like… a week?"
The earth slipped right under his feet.
His chest jumped like his heart was about to burst out from his mouth.
Goosebumps crawled up his arms, his hair stood like spikes.
"Whaaaaaaaat?! W-WHAT?! WWHAAAAAAT?!" His eyes went round, his jaw fell so low you could fit a whole egg inside.
He yelled so loud the birds in the forest flapped away. His voice cracked as he shouted the same word again and again.
"What? What the hell did you just say?! A week?! A full damn week?!"
He rubbed his ears hard, even pulled his earlobes. "No no no, I heard it wrong, I heard it wrong."
He leaned forward, face stiff, whispering slow, "Say it again."
She nodded calm, not even blinking.
"One week."
His whole jaw dropped. His eyes rolled so wide they almost popped out.
He stumbled back two steps, pointing at her, his voice shaking.
"O-One… WEEEK?! You—you can go a whole week while I'm here—huffing, puffing, panicking—barely thirty minutes before my boobs vanish and I pop back into demon mode?!"
His mouth hung open, his eyes blank like his brain just snapped in half.
"How?! How?! How?!"
That was the only word he could spit out. Over and over. His knees slammed into the ground so hard it looked like he was worshipping the dirt itself.
His fists pounded the earth, his forehead almost digging a hole.
"How?! Damn it, tell me, HOW?!"
She tilted her head, calm as ever, like she didn't see him dying inside.
"Because of my level, Master."
"Level… Level… Level…" Liu Yang's mouth twitched, his jaw stiff. His eyes shook like they wanted to pop out.
He crawled closer on his knees, his finger stabbing the air at her face.
"What is your level?!"
His voice cracked so hard.
She smiled soft, her voice calm like she was saying the most normal thing in the world.
"Hundred."
He froze. His eyes went blank like someone just unplugged his brain. His jaw sagged open, no sound came out.
Slowly his hands crawled up, grabbing fistfuls of his own hair, pulling hard. "Hundred?!" His voice cracked sharp. "One-zero-zero?! Are you serious right now?!"
His finger shaped into a gun, he pressed it to his temple.
POP.
He fell sideways in the dirt, eyes still wide, mouth twitching.
He rolled over, hitting the dirt with his fists like a kid throwing a tantrum. "I'm seven! Seven! How the fuck do I live with this?!"
Birds flew off from the trees, scared by his scream.
She just stood there, blinking, her face calm. "Master, you look funny."
His eyes shot open wide, veins twitching. "Funny?! FUNNY?! You said a week! I barely last thirty minutes before my body poofs back to demon! You can go full human for a week?! A week!?"
He flopped back down, spread out like a corpse. His lips barely moved. "Perfect… just perfect… my harem dream starts with me weaker than my own harem girl…"
System beeped.
[Congratulations, Host. You recruited a living cheat code.]
"Shut up, System!"
But then he shot up quick, dirt still stuck to his cheek. His eyes wide, his finger shaking at her.
"Wait… wait wait… if you're level one-zero-zero-freakin'…"
His voice cracked higher, spit flying.
"Then why the fuck were you hiding?! Huh?!"
"Why was I, a level seven trash mob, out there fighting those Demon Hunters while you—" he slapped his palm on the ground, "—you were crouched behind a rock shaking your ass like a scared rabbit?!"
She nodded hard, chest out, her fist thumping against her chest so strong it made a little thud.
"Yes, master! I am your wall! A wall does not move unless the master commands it. A wall does not act on its own. A wall waits! I was waiting for your glorious signal!"
Her eyes sparkled red, shining with devotion, like she had just recited some holy scripture.
Liu Yang froze, staring at her, his jaw open so wide a fly could've flown in.
"…You… you're serious."
She pressed her fingers together, shy, eyes rolling away.
"B-but master… I didn't know if you wanted me to fight. You didn't give me signal."
His whole face froze. His mouth hung open, twitching. Slowly, he dragged his hand down his face, fingers scraping over his nose, his lips, his chin.
"…Signal…" he whispered.
His jaw dropped wide, and then he exploded.
"SIGNAL?! You needed a fucking signal?! I was choking, bleeding, dying, throwing punches like a mad dog, and you were waiting for a signal?!"
She nodded fast, chest puffing with pride, her finger thumping her own chest.
"Yes, master! I am your wall! I was waiting for your order to act!"
Liu Yang flopped backward into the dirt again, his arms spread out like he was ready for the coffin.
"…I'm gonna die. I'm really gonna die. Death by loyal idiot."
System beeped.
[Correction: Death by loyal level 100 idiot.]
"SHUT UP, SYSTEM!"