SMACK!
She winced as the rolled-up newspaper slapped the top of her head.
"I'm going to be late for work at this rate. Momo, I'll leave this to you. Continue hitting her over the head until she gets it. If someone comes to the door, keep Sonja from making noise no matter what. Sonja, NO NOISE."
I opened the door and stepped outside. As I walked to my car, I heard the whap of the newspaper. That pretty little idiot. Hopefully she'd figure it out before Momo would have to knock her out with a book.
...…
"So, what did you want to talk to me about?"
I had just stepped into my boss's office, trying to build up all the courage I had. I hoped to look nothing like the overweight balding man when I reached his age. I sat down on the other side of his desk and took a deep breath.
"I want a raise."
"And I want to win the lottery. Which do you think is more likely to happen?"
"Let me rephrase: what do I need to do to get a raise?"
"Look, even if I wanted to give you a raise, there's no room in the budget. For God's sake, you've been here for three years. Do you really think you deserve a raise?"
"Come on, I work harder than anyone else here. Name one person who gets more done."
"Like I said, there's no room in the budget for anyone to get a raise. Where's this coming from? Did you knock someone up?"
"Not exactly. Let's just say that I have people to take care of and leave it at that."
My boss leaned back in his chair. "Ok, I'll tell you what. A regional manager position is opening up, meaning I may be able to move up the ladder. If I get the job, I'll give you my office manager position. But I want you to show me that you deserve a promotion. The decision will be made in two weeks, so I suggest you work your ass off until then."
I reached out to shake his hand. "Consider it done."
...
It was another long day at the office, especially long actually. I had stayed late, doing everything I could possibly do to make myself busy. For these next two weeks, I had to go above and beyond as the model employee and show that I had what it took to run the office. I was completely exhausted and not looking forward to the coming days. I had even picked up some Thai food on the way home, not having any energy to cook.
But on the plus side, when I arrived home and slammed my car door shut, I didn't hear any barking. Or whatever sound Sonja would now make. It seemed Momo had gotten through to her. I opened the door, seeing neither of them.
"I'm home!"
"MASTER!" Sonja bolted out of my bedroom and charged towards me.
"MASTER! MASTER! MASTER! MASTER! MASTER! MASTER! MASTER! MASTER!MASTER!MASTER!MASTERMASTERMASTERMASTERMASTER!" She tackled me, nearly knocking me onto my ass, and held on tight, her tears soaking my shirt.
"Master! You were gone so long! I didn't think you would ever come back! It's so late! Please don't be away for so long ever again!"
"Aw, I'm sorry, Sonja. I had to stay late at the office. But where's Momo?"
I looked to the doorway of my bedroom, seeing Momo, hiding with tears in her eyes. Like Sonja, she rushed over and embraced me, but instead of yammering her fears, she silently cried into my chest. I had two naked beauties, crying from their loneliness. I could do nothing but smile and hold them close.
"I'm sorry, girls. I'm so sorry. Don't worry, I'll always come home. I'd never leave you. Come on, let's relax on the couch. I got us all dinner."
They wouldn't let go of me, so I had to walk the three of us over to the couch and sit us all down. We stayed there for a few minutes, the two of them with their faces buried in my chest as I held them in my arms.
Is this how pets normally feel when we leave them alone for too long?
Eventually, they calmed down and I was able to distribute the food. I didn't know what they'd like, so I just ordered the most normal (and cheap) food I could, avoiding weird sauces and spices and focusing on meat and vegetables. Momo was downing shrimp like shots of tequila and Sonja was nibbling away at chicken on a stick….