"Well, I expected this, but… It's kind of ugly," I said dryly, staring up at the Pewter City gym.
The building looked like a giant, square-shaped rock - as if someone had carved out a rough cube from a mountain, and then laid it in the middle of Pewter City. There was a collection of much smaller rocks laid around the outside of the square, and a few boulders leaning against the walls, making it look like a super-sized version of something I'd make with the rocks in my yard when I was 4.
"Yeah, I guess?" Joy nodded in agreement to my side, but then looked at me with a bit of concern, "Are you sure you want to challenge it already? It might be better to rest a bit first…"
She wasn't wrong, as we had just spent the last few hours trudging through tall grass and forests, and then wasted another twenty minutes dealing with 'John Smith.' Once we had entered Pewter City, I had walked straight here, not even bothering to go to the Pokemon Center - mainly because none of my pokemon had taken any damage from the mostly Weedle, Caterpie, Rattata, and the occasional Pidgey that we ran into. There were also a couple of fellow trainers we bumped into on the way, but they were all bug-catchers, and quickly had their pockets robbed.
"Honestly, I probably should at least go to the Pokemon Center, but…" I grin lightly, feeling confident and borderline arrogant, at the moment, "I think I'll be fine."
The trip here had only confirmed in my mind that everyone in this Pokemon world was, indeed, a bit stupid. I could suddenly understand why Nurse Joy thought I was on track to becoming a champion just from knowing how to do math, because most of the trainers were just like Joey had been - they told me their pokemon without even needing to ask, threw out the bug-types before I did, and then blamed 'bad luck' that they ran into a Charmander.
Ironically, the person who had seemed like the biggest idiot, 'John Smith', who was really a Team Rocket member, was one of the most competent people I had run into so far. His plan was so convoluted and stupid that I never imagined anyone would agree to it, unless they were trying to counter-scam like I was, but after thinking about the low amounts of Pokedollars I had gotten from the bug catchers, I was starting to think that he was actually raking in cash with his scam.
"It's a gym, so it won't be as easy as all those kids were," Joy tried to dissuade me again, "Gym Leader Brock is known for being a strong trainer, and his gym is only considered the 'easiest' because he uses weak pokemon. If you don't prepare, you could really lose!"
I didn't know what being a 'strong trainer' meant to her, but I wasn't worried. Unless Brock was a VGC world champion who had also been sucked into this world, I didn't think there was any chance I would lose.
If I remembered correctly, he only had a Geodude and an Onix - two pokemon that had not only a weakness to Water and Grass, but a huge weakness to both of those types. Bulbasaur - my Squirtle - could probably handle both of those on his own, and my Bulbasaur - my actual Bulbasaur, who was still unnamed - could finish the battle even if my Squirtle didn't wipe the entire gym. And, on the off chance that Brock brought something besides the Geodude or Onix, it would still only be a Ground-type or Rock-type pokemon - both of which were still weak to Water and Grass on their own.
Brock had made the fatal gym leader mistake of creating a team that was all the same type - and, even worse, all of his pokemon shared the same two types. With the odds stacked against him so heavily from the start, I think even a bug-catcher who found a Magikarp could've given Brock a run for his money.
"I'll be fine," I brushed off her concerns, walking up to the door, which looked like it was poorly jammed into the middle of the rock, and pushing it open, "I've never been patient."
After hours of walking and beating the shit out of small children's pokemon, I was ready for a real battle. I would beat the Pewter City gym today, and then head out tomorrow to take down the next one - if I walked quickly, I could even get all 8 gym badges in a week! That had to be a world record here, right?
As I stepped into the gym, and Joy followed behind me, I was immediately greeted by a dark and dim atmosphere. The floor was made of rock - who could've guessed? - that didn't do anything to help the dark lighting, and the walls were as well. A singular lantern hung from the roof and shone over us, which was pretty stupid considering they had modern electrical lighting in this world, as a small podium sat in front of the door, being the only thing illuminated. Overall, there was a pretty ominous atmosphere in here.
"What's this?" I muttered, walking up to the podium, and then staring blankly at the paper on top of it - which had the words 'Sign Up List' on the top. A slow sense of horror formed in me as I glanced down below the words, where it had a long, very long, list of names already.
"I have to fuckin' register to fight the gym?!"
"What? You thought Brock just waited here all day for challengers? He's got a life, y'know," Joy said dryly behind me, reaching up and patting my shoulder in a mixture of comfort and mockery.
"Don't act like you knew this! You were the one warning me about resting before challenging him!" I shot back, looking accusingly at Joy, who folded under the pressure immediately.
"A-Alright, I didn't know! I'm not a trainer, okay? Just sign up! There's only…" She reached forward, lifting up the first page as it was already full of names. Then the second page, which was also full. Then the third page. Then the fourth page. Then the-
"I think he's booked for the next month… maybe more…" Joy muttered, her expression dropping, "Well, it's just part of being a trainer, right? At least Pewter has a nice hotel, so we can stay there! Hehe… we could even room together to save money-"
"I'm not waiting a month," I interrupted immediately, stepping forward as I looked down at the paper, "If anyone asks, my name is Timmy."
"W-What?"
"That's whose first on the list," I said bluntly, pointing at the first name, which just said 'Timmy' - and, judging by the terrible handwriting, and how the word was red as it looked to have been written with a crayon, it was definitely some bug-catching kid. "From now on, I'm Timmy. Look, he's signed up for five minutes from now! So, we just gotta wait!"
"That's not going to work," Joy deadpanned at me, "You definitely don't look like a 'Timmy.' Brock's not going to believe that."
"Well, my Squirtle doesn't look like a Bulbasaur, but that's still his name, isn't it?" Joy huffed as I checkmated her, but then had another idea.
"Yeah? And what are you going to do when the actual Timmy shows up for his battle?"
"I'll figure it out, I'm great with kids," I waved her off, and as if she had summoned him, the door behind me pushed open again.
"We're going to win for sure this time, Caterpie! We've been training super hard for this moment!"
"Caterpie!"
A small child, looking no older than 12, walked in the door, his face bright and full of excitement. He was wearing a bright red hat and a pretty typical white shirt with black shorts.
He paused as he saw us, "Oh, are you guys here to challenge Brock too?! He's really tough! I've lost to him 9 times already, but my mom says the 10th try is the charm! Me and Caterpie have been training day and night for this! We're going to win this time, right Caterpie?!"
"Caterpie!"
As I stared at the young kid, who was so full of joy, excitement, and life, my heart throbbed. Was I really going to prevent such an innocent child from battling with his Caterpie? A child who had a genuine friendship with his pokemon, unlike myself, who literally named my Charmander 'Charmander' and my Squirtle 'Bulbasaur?' Could I really bring myself to deprive this sweet child of his gym battl-
"I'll give you 10 dollars if you let me take your spot," I said bluntly, reaching into my pocket and then pulling out 10 Pokedollars.
"Huh?! You think you can just skip the line for ten dollars?" Timmy huffed at me, crossing his arms defiantly, "Even if I am low on cash, I won't give up my spot like that! It's a trainer's responsibility to follow the rules of the gym! There's no amount of money that would-"
"20 dollars?" I counteroffered, wondering for a moment if he really couldn't be bought out. I'm sure I could get through to him eventually, but my pockets would take a hit. He looked really determined, so I might have to go into the thousands-
"T-Twenty dollars?! Heck yeah!" Luckily, Timmy folded immediately as he reached forward and took the money from me, "Thanks! Oh man, I was worried because this guy in a suit took all my money yesterday! Now, let's go get some food, Caterpie! We'll just try again next month!"
"Caterpie!"
Well, I could see who 'John Smith' was mainly scamming now. If he was scamming kids, then maybe he wasn't that good of a guy after all? I thought, immediately after bribing Timmy to wait another month with a measly 20 Pokedollars.
I watched as Timmy turned around, casually leaving the gym without a care in the world. I was somewhat jealous of his naivety and innocence, but I was glad he had it, because I was not waiting for an entire month!
"...You just paid off a kid for his place in line. That's kind of messed up," Joy said, looking at me dryly.
"He had a fuckin' Caterpie! Rock is supereffective against Bug, so he was never winning anyway!" I justified, as I didn't doubt that Timmy's 9 losses would've become 10 today.
"Oh, two new faces? N-Nurse Joy?!" I was saved from having to defend myself more as a man came walking in from a room to the side, and the familiar image of Brock greeted me. He looked pretty much how I would expect - he was pretty tall, with tanned skin, and spikey-brown hair, along with eyes that looked like they were always squinting.
As he approached us, his eyes went wide - which just meant they became a bit less squinted - and he literally dived at Nurse Joy's legs, "Oh, you've finally come to visit me, Nurse Joy! I knew you returned my love! Now we can be together forever-"
"I've never met you," Joy responded bluntly, taking a step back and letting Brock face-plant into the ground, "I worked at Viridian City - this is my first time in Pewter City."
"O-Oh, right! Of course! I knew immediately that you weren't my lovely Nurse Joy!" Brock pushed himself to his feet, looking embarrassed as he cleared his throat, "I-I would never mistake her for anyone else, and I wouldn't just throw myself at any woman I saw, y'know? I have standards! B-But, if you're single…"
Brock immediately lost any aura he had left remaining as he fell onto one knee, staring up at Joy, "I-I'd die for you, Nurse Joy!"
"I have a boyfriend," Joy responded, wrinkling her nose at Brock's display, and then jutting her finger at me, "He's right here."
Brock fell flat on his stomach immediately, his face dropping as he looked like he'd just taken a bullet to his heart.
"We're not dating." I corrected, and Brock shoved himself back up, staring at Joy with wide eyes again.
"We- are! He's just shy," Joy's face tensed as she gave a shaky smile, elbowing me subtly to agree. As she did, Brock dropped onto his stomach again, looking overly depressed.
"We're not. She's my stalker," I replied honestly, causing Brock to perk up again, and for Joy to turn to me indignantly.
"I'm not a stalker!"
"Oh? Then what do you call someone who follows someone else around without their consent? Even worse, someone who follows someone else around without their consent, and pretends to be dating them!"
If I was the one acting like this towards her, I would've been in Poke Jail before we even reached Pewter!
"I-It's not stalking! It's called being a travel companion!" Joy shot back, and at this point, it looked like Brock finally gave up.
"Well, the sign-up paper is right there," Brock sighed, starting to slump away as his face was covered in sadness, but then he blinked as he glanced up, "Wait, where's Timmy? We were supposed to battle today."
"That's me," I said bluntly, jutting my thumb into my chest, "I'm ready for the battle."
Brock stared at me blankly, then slowly spoke, "...You're definitely not Timmy. I've had a few battles with him. I know Timmy."
"Well, it's time for Timmy's battle, and I'm the only one here," I shrugged, gesturing towards the room to our side, "So, let's go battle."
"Y-You're not Timmy! Timmy's a little kid!"
"That's me. Just had a growth spurt," I countered, "We've already fought 9 times, Brock. I'm offended you don't recognize me…"
"W-Wait, I did have 9 battles with Timmy, but…" Brock trailed off, looking at me suspiciously as I knew the exact amount. For a second, I thought he was actually going to buy the ridiculous lie I was selling, but Brock wasn't a complete idiot.
"Even if you do know that, you're just… not him! There's no way you're him! Let me see your trainer card!" He said, holding out his hand at me, and I stared back blankly for a second.
I did have a 'trainer card' - which, I didn't know how I got in the three-building Pallet Town - that I had found in my pocket in Viridian City, but if I gave it to him, he would definitely know I wasn't Timmy.
"Joy," I said, glancing over at Joy, "Tell him I'm Timmy."
"What?" Joy blinked, looking at me dryly, "This was your idea, so you have to handle it by yoursel-"
"If you do, I won't complain about you traveling with me ever again."
"T-That's Timmy! This is Timmy alright! I saw the growth spurt myself!" I barely resisted face-faulting as Joy laid it on very thick, gesturing to me in a panic as she instantly took my deal.
Like, seriously? You saw the growth spurt? I had hoped Brock's affection for her would help her convince him to let us slide, even if I blatantly was not Timmy, but after a lie like that, there was no way he would-
"W-Whatever you say! If Nurse Joy says it, then it's gotta be true!" I did face-fault this time as Brock accepted her poor words immediately, turning around as he started to walk into the side room, and his cheeks were red just from Joy speaking, "Come on, Timmy!"
I didn't move for a few seconds, my brain still processing what I had just witnessed. Somehow, someway, I had convinced a real living person that I was really a 12-year-old child who had a magical growth spurt.
Then, I shrugged. As long as I didn't have to wait a month, I was happy with the outcome.
Joy and I followed Brock into the still-dark side room, which led to a long stone-walled hallway, which then led out into a massive room.
"This is the arena," Brock called back, gesturing outward, and I glanced around the room for a minute.
And, let me tell you, it was quite an arena. My pokemon game expectations had me thinking that we'd just toss out our pokemon and fight a few feet away from each other, but the area in front of me was much more grand than that.
There was a wide open area, which looked almost like a warehouse, as large electrical lights hung down from the ceiling - if he was just going to use lights here, then what the hell was the point of that creepy-ass lamp at the entrance?! - and the ceiling was high overhead. The arena itself took up most of the empty space, as there were two outlined boxes on each side for Brock and myself to stand in, and then a huge, rocky terrain in front of them. Rocks spiked upwards, creating pillars and miniature mountains throughout the battlefield, and I was once again reminded that this wasn't a game - even if some aspects remained, this was still my real life now.
That meant that type match-ups wouldn't be the only thing I had to worry about, and this field was a prime example. The terrain was clearly positioned in a way that benefited Brock, as I could already see a thousand different strategies he could take. Instead of a simple 'take turns and use attacks' battle, this was a tactical mind game.
The large pillars and jutting mountain-like rocks would be able to provide cover for his Onix, and my initial strategy of having Squirtle use Water Gun to one-shot his entire team before they could fight back was much less concrete now. The cover would make it difficult for Squirtle to use long-range attacks, and he couldn't get close, or else he'd risk being smashed by Onix's tail or suffering from a Rock Throw via Geodude as they took cover.
But, as I stared over the arena and quickly realized this wouldn't be as easy as I thought, I didn't feel nervous. Instead, a grin slipped onto my face.
This world had been far too easy so far, and I was glad that a real challenge was coming. The days of curb-stomping Caterpie's and decimating children for lunch money were over, and I was about to face a real-deal gym leader. Instead of breezing through everything like I had been so far, I was finally going to have my first real battle.
"This is your side," Brock said casually, his face steeling as his blushing demeanor vanished. Even if he was a bit of a goofball, it seemed that he took his gym battles seriously, which I was happy about. I wouldn't want it any other way.
"You can use up to six pokemon," Brock called as he walked around the side of the arena, walking to his box, as I headed towards mine, "But I'll only need two, so I'll only use two."
I blinked, slightly taken aback by that last part. He seemed like a pretty silly guy so far, so why the hell did he suddenly get cocky?! But, if he wanted to talk shit, we could talk shit!
"I'll only use one," I shot back, casually reaching down and grabbing my Squirtle's pokeball, "You won't even get one attack in."
Of course, if Squirtle did faint, I wouldn't just forfeit or anything. In the end, I valued the gym badge more than the aura I would lose for using Bulbasaur after I said I wouldn't.
I had considered using my Bulbasaur instead, as both pokemon were typings that were 4x effective to Geodude and Onix, but I decided to go with the most experienced choice. Most of my battles up until now had been done with Charmander, but Squirtle had gotten a few in when I gave the fire-lizard a break. In comparison, Bulbasaur had only been in one fight, and, obviously, Pikachu was out of the picture right now for his useless typing. Abra hadn't learned any new moves yet, or even made any progress - as I wasn't sure how to train him when I couldn't really switch-train in real life - so that left Squirtle as the best choice.
"Hah, really?" Across from me, Brock's head tilted downward, and for a second, I could swear a shadow covered his eyes, as a cocky, arrogant smirk crossed his face, "We'll see about that…"
I could feel the confidence dripping off his words, and I had to wonder - was he always this cocky, or had the whole Timmy thing pissed him off? It didn't matter to me either way, because I was here for the Boulder Badge, and that's what I would be leaving with today.
Behind me, Joy stood a few feet back and gave me some words of encouragement, "You got this, Red! Though if you don't, we could go share a hotel room, so it's fine if you lose!"
Her words should've been the opposite of encouraging, but with the looming threat of spending a whole month in this small city with Joy hanging over my head, I was more locked in than ever before.
"As the gym leader, I'll start! Go, Geodude!" Brock shouted abruptly, lashing out his arm as he sent a poke ball flying into the arena. It hit the ground, and a small rock with two arms and eyes popped out.
"Geodude!"
Honestly, I had felt a bit weird seeing all the pokemon in person for the first time, but this one took the cake. Charmander was a little fire lizard, so that was close enough to normal that he didn't freak me out. Squirtle was the same, as he was just a walking turtle, and Bulbasaur was a little frog. Even Pikachu, being an electric mouse, wasn't all that hard for my brain to process.
But the literal rock with two arms and two eyes? That was a bit much - because how the fuck was he floating?! That damn rock is just levitating in the air!
But, as per usual, I shrugged at the sight and tossed out my own pokemon.
"Go, Bulbasaur!'
"Squirtle!"
"What…" Brock blinked, looking genuinely confused for a second, "You… you know that's your Squirtle, right? At least, that looks like a Squirtle… I think… If you meant to use a different pokemon, you can recall him and-"
"Use Water Gun!" Unfortunately for Brock, war waited for no man, and I had no shame.
I'd do whatever it took to win - whether that meant using double-team strats, stall teams, or even naming all my pokemon to confuse the hell out of my opponents! And, right now, I was getting a lot more value from the confusing name tactic than I thought I would.
"Squirtle!" Squirtle's mouth opened, and a beam of water shot forward - crossing the gap between the two pokemon, and making direct contact with Geodude. The rock-type pokemon flinched back as it was hit, and let out a loud grunt, but, to my surprise, didn't immediately keel over and faint.
"Hey! That wasn't cool!" Brock yelled, his cocky grin turning into a slight scowl, "Fine! Let's get this battle started for real!"
I tensed, my mind whirling for a second as the Geodude survived the 4x effective move - there must have been too big of an experience difference between them. My Squirtle hadn't fought many battles, and as a result was probably still under level 10, while Geodude was a few levels over. I still had the distance advantage, as Geodude needed to cross the gap to attack Squirtle, but I was sure Brock knew this arena like the back of his hand. He'd know the best route to send Geodude through, where he could use the rocky pillars to his advantage and get close. Right now, the best move would be to have Squirtle back up, so it couldn't be caught off guard by Brock's strategy-
"Geodude! Use tackle!" I blinked, genuinely surprised as Brock just shouted three words - giving no more instructions, and as a result, Geodude didn't take it upon himself to expertly navigate the terrain.
It just sprinted - or, more specifically, floated quickly - forward, and charged through the clear center of the arena.
"Use Water Gun!" I called immediately, somewhat hesitantly, as Geodude charged straight at Squirtle.
I felt like this had to be some sort of trick, because he was right in the firing line of Squirtle, and wouldn't have time to dodge as he got closer. Brock was a gym leader, so there was no way he would completely forget to use the terrain around us, which was his one way of beating a Squirtle that had a huge type advantage. He was definitely planning something, and I just needed to be prepared to adapt and call orders to Squirtle right away-
"Geodude!" I blinked, pulled out of my distracted thoughts as Geodude… took a Water Gun to the face.
The water splashed straight into him, and as he charged through the current for a moment, he took way too much damage. He slumped over a second later, X's filling his eyes as he fainted.
"Oh no, Geodude! Dang it!" Brock called out, and as he said his very NPC-esque line, I looked at him dryly.
Was this some super convoluted plan to make me lower my guard? There's no way he would've been acting cocky earlier, just to be a total bum at pokemon battles, right? Right?!
"Geodude, come back! Now, it's your turn, Onix!" As Brocks said another strand of very basic words, I suddenly felt a lot better about the fight. Was he really going to ignore the terrain win condition he had, and just… have his pokemon charge at me? He was a gym leader, so he couldn't be that dumb, right?!
"Onix! Use tackle!" I watched with lidded eyes as Brock called out the same move and made the exact same mistake. I guess I shouldn't have expected much from the guy who had two rock-ground types, and that was all he had.
"Squirtle… fuck it, you know what to do!"
"Squirtle!" Squirtle cheered in confirmation, apparently being better at pokemon battles than the literal gym leader, as he opened his mouth. A spout of water shot forward, slamming into Onix as he charged forward, and sent the huge rock-monsters careening to the side.
"Argh, Onix! Dodge!" Brock called, and I looked at him with a deadpan.
The Onix was massive, looking to be literally almost 30 feet long overall, and was already being soaked by the water - what the fuck did he mean 'dodge?!' How the hell was this big-ass rock monster going to dodge? That's the best idea he could come up with?
"Squirtle, just… don't miss," I sighed, feeling almost disappointed as Squirtle just launched out another Water Gun, and the water continued to hit Onix - because, unsurprisingly, the massive rock-snake wasn't agile enough to dodge the attack.
Onix continued to writhe in pain for a moment, flailing around as its tail slammed through a few rock pillars, before it finally slumped over - fainted. With just one underleveled pokemon, and with only using one move, I had beaten the Pewter City gym.
"Agh, good try, Onix!" Brock shouted as he recalled his Onix, and then looked over at me with an approving look, "You're a seriously tough trainer! I haven't been beaten that badly in a long time!"
My dry look didn't drop. A 'seriously tough trainer?' All I did was have Squirtle use Water Gun over and over again! No setup moves, no intense battle utilizing the terrain, and no real strategy at all! Just spamming the highest power move I had - which a literal child could've done!
"See, I knew you were going to be great! Good job, Red!" Joy cheered behind, and she came running up behind me, and then hugged my arm from the side - smushing it between her sizeable breasts in the process, "You'll be the champion in no time!"
As I stood there, I should've been excited. I had just dominated the gym without trouble and had a gorgeous woman hanging off my arm as she praised me. Right now, I was definitely living the dream.
But, instead of excited, I was disappointed. I had expected an action-packed battle once I saw the terrain, and instead, I got… spamming Water Gun.
But it was just the first gym! This one was the easiest anyway, and I had the type advantage! There's no way the other gym leaders will be as terrible at battling as Brock was, and would lose without even doing any damage! There was no way I could become the champion so easily, right?
Right?!
…
Right?!
…
RIGHT?!
…
I didn't know it at the moment, but I was very, very wrong.
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AN: Thank you for reading! The next chapter will be posted in a few days!
You can also read the next 2 chapters right now on Patreon.com/Koyon ! This story will be updated twice as often on there! (Only the highest tier atm, but I'll add more as more chapters are posted!)