Itachi no unmei -イタチの運命-
(The Destiny of Itachi)
Part 10 : Buried love
— Itachi...»
All around me, the world was shining. I was in an infinite ocean. The sky was bright blue, clothed in ferns. The sun illuminated the vast infinite expanse where I stood.
I then looked at the ground. At the bottom of the water was a wide expanse of sand and seaweed in perfect harmony. And then... Looking down, I realized... I was naked.
I slowly raised my head, tired. Facing me, I saw him. She was staring at me with a look that was indecipherable to me, her naked body buttered with sea water.
— Izumi...»
She didn't look like the one I'd known before. I could tell by the shape of her face and body. She was... Aged. At the moment, she was about the same age as me.
Yet when I killed her that night, she was 12 years old... Could my conscience visualize her older? Tsukuyomi's power was truly limitless... But why? Why had I given her this form?
I didn't ask myself any more questions. I was in shock. I was 12, the last time we'd seen each other.... To tell the truth, I think that unlike her, I knew nothing about love. Well, yes, of course, but I was too young to be aware of my own.
Today, seeing her naked like that, in the water, made me blush. For the first time in my life, I felt an emotion I'd never felt before... Embarrassment, but repressed desire on the side. And something else too... A touch of modesty. I'd matured, finding myself naked like that in front of her... I mean... It was complicated.
I reassured myself that it was all just a dream... A dream imposed by my ward. Still, if my heart had wanted to show me that... There must have been a good reason.
Facing her like that, I had absolutely no idea what to say. I lowered myself a little, hiding my lower body in the water. She... She just stood there... Motionless, exposed.
No one spoke a word. I could see her blushing too, surely she was just as embarrassed as I was. If not more so, she was so shocked that she was unable to move, and therefore unable to conceal certain exposed parts of her body. Yet I could see from her embarrassment that she wanted to.
We stayed like that. Watching each other in silence. I'd never seen a female body before... Not before, potentially, my mother, when I was smaller, but I couldn't remember. Seeing that... It threw me. I was expressing a form of desire... I couldn't understand.
I don't think this kind of thing could have happened with anyone else... But why? How could it? Was this... Friendship? No, I'd never have felt that way with Shisui. Or else... Was it specific to girl-boy friendship?
I felt really bad. For the first time in my life, I was facing something... I couldn't understand. I, who had always excelled at everything... I had reached a dead end... An impasse I hadn't foreseen, an impasse generated by my own conscience.
All this... All the problems that plagued my brain... had been happening ever since Madara's return. It was him... It was always him... Always his fault..... No?
In the end... Wasn't it a bit my fault? All those things hidden deep inside me... I had forgotten them freely, through my own desire. Well, no, I think...
— Itachi... You...»
She had spoken. Again. I could hear her voice again... My heart leapt.
— You... Are you okay?»
I was surprised. "Was I okay?" Had I done something... strange? Suddenly, I was afraid of my own image. What was I showing the others? What were they seeing? What was... Before, I'd never cared what I looked like. Why did... Why now?
Izumi was now redder than ever. She was trembling a little. She put her hand on her stocking to pull herself together. Then... Moving her hand... I saw something below her pelvis. Suddenly, I looked away. I could feel tingling... All over my body. Mostly down there.
— Sorry... It's just... It's... Actually... You looked... Over the moon... I mean... Thoughtful... But... Actually... No, nothing... Never mind.» she stammered.
She had trouble speaking because of her embarrassment. I understood then... At first, I stared at her, up and down, as if looking for something... Then I stopped staring for a long time, because I was thinking... My gaze remained fixed... On his chest.
I suddenly started to blush, frightened.
— Eh... No...! It's not what you think... It's... I was thinking about something else...»
— I know. I figured it out... You're not interested in me, are you?» she said, pained.
— No... I mean...»
— You killed the whole clan... Without even sparing me. You didn't love me enough... To let me stay by your side... Did you? Your brother... Him... You spared him... I didn't.»
There was a huge silence. I didn't know what to say. All this... For the simple reason that I had nothing to say. She was absolutely right.
— Your silence... It confirms what I already thought...» Izumi murmured, a tear in her eye.
— I... I'm sorry, I...»
— No. No need to apologize. After all, apart from your brother... You've eliminated everyone. It's just... I loved you. I hoped the feeling was mutual... But obviously not. On the one hand... I suspected it. In spite of everything, I clung on to this Insersian hope.»
A new silence. I lowered my head in pity. Or else... Wasn't it rather because... I didn't want her to see me? I... I was just beginning to realizShe told me... That she loved me. That kind of feeling isn't just friendship, I think. It was the kind of sentence... my parents used to say to me, on the days when they were happy. But... My friends and classmates had never said things like that to me.e certain things.
One question came to mind, and I wanted to be absolutely sure...
— When you say you love me... In what way?»
She stared at me, puzzled. Her gaze... I really felt as if I'd offended her again. What could I have possibly said that was so wrong?
— You know it... No...?»
No, I didn't know... Stop. Pull yourself together, Itachi. I'd always been called a genius, I couldn't stumble over such an obstacle. For most people, it was simple... I had to think... And find the answer...
The solution was self-evident. It was simply... Hidden in my heart. I had finally understood... What my body and mind were feeling at that very moment.
So, instinctively, without thinking, as if driven by an obscure force, I moved forward. I was moving in his direction. She looked at me, surprised, and stepped back slightly, worried. I stared at her lips, as if possessed.
— Itachi... What are you...?!»
She was now more fearful than ever. I felt a twinge of sadness. Seeing her like this... It hurt. So I forced myself to stand still, against my instinctive will.
— Izumi... I'm sorry, I... I don't mean to frighten you.»
She lowered her head for a moment, then raised it again. Her eyes were devouring a completely different expression than the pressed one. Brows furrowed, she was determined...
— Keep moving.» she ordered me.
I didn't understand why, but I obeyed. I was now at her level, very close to her, almost brushing against her.
Then she turned her head slightly, her cheek brushing mine. Suddenly, my whole body spasmed. I didn't understand what was happening to me.
— So... You too...» she sobbed.
Her tears ran down my cheek, then landed on my chest.
My eyes met his. I immersed myself in his gaze, as if entranced. Then I gave the answer that was most obvious to me... I'd finally understood him.
— Yes.»
I felt her eyes sparkle. She was blushing so fast. Such vulnerability... I'd never seen her like that before. Come to think of it, I too had never been so vulnerable.
Suddenly, I felt the need to explain myself. I didn't want her to think that... I was afraid of losing her...
— I knew I couldn't let you live... After the massacre, you would have suffered. I wanted... Take sole responsibility for my actions. But then... The future that awaited me was bound to take me away from you. Indubitably, you wouldn't have been the same.»
She looked at me for a moment, then squinted.
— Yes... Yes, it's true. I also think... It's better this way. I realized that the day I died... I was just sorry you didn't hesitate to do it...»
She paused, catching her breath, which had been soaked up by her tears.
— You know... I can tell when you're lying or telling the truth. I can see it in your eyes... À... I've gotten used to admiring your gaze over and over again. I know for a fact you're lying... In fact, you didn't imagine all the things you've just said to me when you decided to kill me... But I... Today you've realized it. That's something.»
I lowered my eyes in shame.
All my life... I had constantly lied to those I loved... And I was still doing it today... I guess... It was in my nature. But I... It hurt.
— I'm sorry, I... I'm... I'm... I was afraid to...» I wanted to explain.
— Let's stop talking, shall we? Let's stop... The excuses, the regrets, our genes, our sadness... We still have approximately 47 hours, so let's make the most of it. I wouldn't want your last memory of me... To be sad.»
His words resonated in my heart. She had... right. I felt... Overwhelmed. In this new field, which I barely knew... I felt... Faced with her... So... Incompetent... Ignorant... Stupid...
I didn't know anything about my feelings yet, I still wanted to explore them for a while to understand them... I...
SMACK
I didn't have time to think more.
Izumi had raised her head, pressed her lips to mine... And...
I'd never done that before. I'd never felt like this. All of a sudden... I had a vision. I understood...
Today, I realized that... If this massacre had happened later... I would have cared more for her than for Sasuke and the village. If I'd even lived in her company... I would have been able to develop even more intense feelings than those I was feeling right now. I was too young... I could never have... Understand...
This was it... Love.
The taste of her lips fully penetrated me. Her tongue, too. I was no longer trembling with frustration. I was like... Soothed.
At that moment, I had totally forgotten that I was living in a dream. All this... Was only the fruit of my memory, in reality. But... I was so happy... So fulfilled... I hadn't felt that way since... Oh... a long time.
Only, you see, all good things... Come to an end.
My destiny... would soon catch up with me.
My death.
— Bwurgh!»
Apart from the genjutsu, I was collapsed on the ground, spitting a scarlet liquid. Blood.
📖To be Continued...📖