Spring break came to a reluctant close, and the new semester at Soubu High School finally began.
The first day of a new term always had a strange kind of energy to it. For the fresh-faced first-years, it meant arriving early with bright, nervous smiles, desperate to meet new classmates and maybe even make friends. For the seasoned second-years, it was about reuniting with familiar faces, rekindling bonds, and—if you were the normie type—laughing obnoxiously in front of the shoe lockers.
And for those of us cursed enough to be entering our third and final year of high school? It was supposed to be a monumental day. A clean slate. A chance to create the perfect final chapter of youth.
Of course, when it came to me—Hikigaya Hachiman—that perfect chapter was already ruined.
Because right now, I was pedaling my bicycle like my life depended on it, sweat sticking to my back, while the clock mocked me with the truth: I was ten minutes late.
How did it come to this? Easy.
"Komachi…" I groaned aloud, remembering this morning.
My adorable little sister had dutifully called me to wake me up. Normally, I would have praised her, given her the rare title of "good imouto." But I, being half-dead in bed, could only respond with incoherent mutters. She quickly lost patience, abandoned me, and went to school first.
The result? Here I am, pedaling against fate.
"Sigh."
Even the fresh morning air tasted sour. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I had actually promised myself that this year, my final year, I would start differently. I'd woken up early, eat breakfast like a functioning human being, greet my new class, new teacher, new classmates—all with a smile that said, "Yes, I too am a normal high school student."
…But accidents happen.
Yesterday afternoon, Yukinoshita Yukino—otherwise known as the Sadistic Ice Queen herself—had forcibly detained me. Even after an entire night of "rest," my body was still aching in places I didn't even know existed. Muscles, pride, dignity—you name it, all battered.
See? Even now, while riding my bicycle, I had to pedal carefully, afraid my legs would cramp up like an old man's.
"Sadistic demon… no, she's clearly a Demon Lord."
The memories of yesterday's encounter sent cold shivers down my spine. Before that, I'd been so confident. As a man, as a proud member of the male species, I truly believed I could handle Yukinoshita if things ever came to that.
But reality had smacked me upside the head with the harshness of an RPG damage crit.
Despite her fragile athletic record—the same girl who occasionally visited the infirmary during PE—yesterday she had been like a buffed-up raid boss, a level 99 final boss tormenting me, the poor level 1 scrub who had barely stepped out of the tutorial village.
I gritted my teeth. Damn it! How can I be so weak?!
And the worst part? Today, I had to face her again at school. She would no doubt smirk at me, call me "Zako-kun," and ridicule me for eternity. I could already hear her voice:
"Zako-kun will forever be Zako-kun." "Maybe you should take some medicine, Zako-kun." "Well, at least as long as you can produce children, I suppose you're useful."
"AHHHHH!!" I almost howled as my face contorted into the shape of a bitter gourd.
No. No, I can't let this be my destiny.
I can't give up on myself just yet. If my "youth story" is a hopeless mess, then at the very least my "married life story" must not be a disaster!
With that determination, I decided: starting today, while focusing on the hellish academics of third year, I would also put physical training as my number two priority. I would build endurance, build strength, and wipe that smug little smile off Yukinoshita's face.
With renewed determination, I slammed my foot down harder on the pedals. My speed picked up, the bicycle rattling as if in protest. Each rotation of the wheel was no longer just transport—it was exercise.
And then—
"Huh? Whoa whoa whoa—watch out!!"
From around a corner, a figure darted into the road. I yanked my brakes so hard I almost flipped. Tires screeched. My heart practically leapt out of my chest.
That… was close. If I'd been any stronger, I probably would've mowed her down. Thank God for my lack of physical prowess.
Balancing the bike with one foot on the ground, I looked at the girl who had nearly turned me into a criminal. She had short hair, her forehead dotted with sweat.
"Sorry, sorry! Are you hurt, classmate?" I asked, feigning concern like a proper human being.
Her uniform caught my eye. Ah. Soubu High. So, we're in the same boat.
"I'm fine," she said calmly.
"Oh, that's… good." Relief washed over me, though my awkwardness stayed firmly in place. Before pedaling off, I hesitated. My hand drifted toward the back seat of my bike as I glanced at her again.
She noticed.
"…Are you asking me to sit on the back of your bicycle?" she asked, tilting her head in mild confusion.
"Eh?!" My eyes widened. Mind-reading powers?!
Since I'd been found out, I had no choice but to endure the embarrassment and admit it. "W-Well, it's only natural for a senior to help out a junior. We're both about to be late, right? If you sit behind me, we'll get to school faster."
Seriously… what am I doing? On the first day of my third year, I'm actually inviting some random kouhai onto the back of my bike. Won't I be mistaken for a shady guy?
Hmm… After all, if it were a certain little devil junior, she would definitely cover her chest with both hands and tremble, saying, "Senpai, you wouldn't happen to like me, would you?""Sorry, I already have someone I like, I'm really sorry~" Something along those lines, right?
"Thank you."
To Hikigaya's surprise, the short-haired girl actually nodded and calmly walked to the back of his bicycle, sitting down on her own without hesitation.
"Thank you, Hikigaya."
"Huh?" Hikigaya, who had been steadying his bicycle, immediately froze and turned his head to look at the girl behind him in disbelief. "You… know me?"
"Huh?!" I nearly dropped the bike. Turning my head, I blinked at her in disbelief. "…You know me?"
"Hikigaya is a celebrity at Soubu High," the short-haired girl replied plainly as if it were common knowledge. "So of course all the normal students know you."
I… I'm famous? No, wait—that's not fame. That's infamy!
"A member of the Service Club. One of the organizers of the Culture Festival, the Sports Festival, and even the Joint Dance Party. You've played a part in all the major events these past two years. How could that be considered unknown?"
"Ah?"
The moment he heard her list off his dark and embarrassing history in crisp detail, Hikigaya felt his stomach turn to ice.
Wait… how does she know all that?!
Because he had someone sitting behind him now, he kept his cycling speed deliberately slower, giving him just enough time to keep his balance and avoid crashing. But even so, his brain was spinning out of control.
Did you stalk me or something?!
Sure, technically he had been involved in all those activities… but it wasn't like he wanted to be. He had always done his best to stay invisible, to lurk in the shadows like the loner ninja he prided himself on being. Apart from a handful of people close to him, there was no way the average student would remember any of it—much less some girl he had zero recollection of.
This was bad. Really bad.
Instantly, Hikigaya's paranoia flared.
Could it be… this junior secretly has a crush on me?!
Ahahaha. No way. Someone like me? A bottom-tier loner with dead fish eyes actually has a secret admirer? That's gotta be a cosmic joke.
No. No, no, no!
I have a girlfriend now. I have Yukinoshita. This is dangerous. This is exactly the kind of death flag you read about in romcom manga!
"Ju… Junior, I… I—"
His lips trembled as he forced words out, already preparing to do the noble thing—cut her off quickly and cleanly, before things got out of hand. His instincts screamed at him: put distance between yourself and this girl now. There was something about her that felt… dangerous.
But before he could finish, the short-haired girl calmly cut in, her tone unchanging.
"Hikigaya, I'm also a third-year student. Just like you."
"…Ehhhhh?!"
Also a third-year?! No way!
Hikigaya's brain short-circuited. He had spent so much of last year compiling names, class rosters, and lists of students while stuck doing work for school events. He had a decent memory for faces, even if he wasn't sociable. By all rights, he should at least have some impression of a fellow third-year.
But this girl? Nothing. His mind was a blank slate, like she had materialized out of thin air.
Oh! Maybe she was a transfer student?!
Wait, idiot Hachiman! Use your brain! She just rattled off half your life story from last year! There's no way she's a transfer!
Ugh… embarrassing history +1.
"I-I remember now! You were in Class B before, right? Fujiwara or something?"
"I'm Kato. From Class E."
"…Ah. Sorry."
Game over. Embarrassing history +2.
Another tally on the scoreboard of shame. Hikigaya mentally pulled out a notebook labeled "Cringe Records: Third Year Edition" and scribbled it down in big bold letters.
Still, he racked his brain.
Ka… Kato? Class E?
I'm in Class F. That's literally right next door!
Don't tell me… there's really someone in the class right next to mine, and I have zero memory of her existence?!
What the hell is going on with this woman?!
Hikigaya's chest tightened. This wasn't the feeling of carrying a cute girl on his bike. No—this was dread. The aura behind him didn't belong to some average classmate. It was the ominous pressure of an unseen Demon Lord, cloaked in perfect invisibility!
"It's fine." Kato shook her head, her tone so calm it was eerie. "I'm not very noticeable to begin with. My grades are average. I've never joined a club. I've never been on the class committee. I don't have many friends. So it's perfectly normal that Hikigaya doesn't know me or remember me at all."
That tone… that matter-of-fact delivery…
Wait a second. Why does this sound so familiar?!
Isn't that… literally me?!
No. No, no, no. Don't compare, Hachiman. You at least joined a club—kinda. And sure, most of your grades were average, but you're ranked third in the year for Japanese language! You're not that invisible!
But still… the resemblance was uncanny.
"T-That's not true! Kato-san is actually pretty cute, you know."
There. Compliment deflected. At least in one category, she's got Yukinoshita beat.
"Hikigaya is very kind," Kato replied, her face still unreadable. "But you don't need to comfort me. If I were really cute, then Hikigaya would have noticed me long ago… wouldn't he?"
"…Eh?"
Hikigaya froze.
He wanted to argue. He wanted to deny it. But instead, his mouth snapped shut. His survival instincts screamed louder than ever.
Danger. Danger. Danger.
This wasn't just some forgettable classmate. This girl, this so-called Kato… she was something else. She knew far too much about him, and every word from her lips pressed down like an invisible weight.
It was suffocating.
Just talking to her made him feel like he was being lured into some invisible web.
An unknown pressure, a creeping dread, something almost supernatural about her existence.
For the first time, Hikigaya wondered: was this accidental meeting really just coincidence? Or was this "Kato" part of some grand scheme cooked up by a higher being?
Ancestor Yukinoshita… please save me!!