"What do you mean by 'dead'?" Kyoujiro asked with a trembling voice as if he had a cartoon-sized anvil dropped on the top of his skull. You could see little birds flying around in circles around his head as he tried his absolute best to wrap his head around this ridiculous situation.
"Dead. Fully. Irreversibly. Completely. Utterly. Magically. Spiritually. Physically. Eventually. Momentarily. Definitely. Yeah. Dead," the soldier explained, surprisingly eloquently.
For a second, or maybe a minute, nobody dared to take a breath, as if the esteemed guests of the royal hall were afraid of breaking that fragile revelation that slowly started seeping through into their own reality.
Not a single soul dared to speak. All eyes were focused on the young soldier who rushed into the castle to deliver the news. The eyes of people of all ages, races, status and tribes searched his face for any sign of trickery. Any clue of fib. Any string of deception.
They found nothing.
They knew it to be true.
They felt it in their souls.
In a single moment, everyone got up from their seat in unison. Cheers erupted like a thunderstorm in the middle of the eastern sea. Overwhelming joy vibrated through the marble floor as the nightmare of the Arameian people had finally ended. Even the stone walls seemed to hum with satisfaction.
"Finally!" an elven woman yelled from the bottom of her heart.
"It's over!" exclaimed a noble gentleman, hugging a commoner blacksmith with no regard for each other's social standings.
Anastasia had tears in her eyes as her dream came true – a world where people wouldn't have to mourn so often. Where tragic death on the battlefield wouldn't be so normalised, it would be treated as part of everyday life.
Little drops started flowing down her rosy cheeks as she could no longer hold her excitement in. Her previously shy and timid smile grew into one of confidence and unfiltered joy.
"Young man! Come to the throne!" the king said to the brave lad "Tell the world how it came to be. How do you even know about it?"
With a soft bow and natural elegance, the young messenger stepped up to the heir of the Wolfrus crown. His nerves were showing in his short breath and a bead of sweat running down his neck, but he summoned all his courage to speak before the people as his master commanded.
"My name is Adam Silverstate, 3rd officer of the Crown Blades. Until yesterday, my comrades and I were stationed at the border city of Casandra. Five days ago, the magical barrier surrounding the demon territory of Arakh had suddenly disappeared without a trace. We believed it to be a clear signal of an impending assault on our kingdom, which is why we've sent a distress signal and… I'm guessing that's why he's here?"
As the warrior said the last sentence, he looked at Kyoujiro with pity and worry in his eyes, as if the all-powerful hero was a kid lost in a supermarket. Nevertheless, Adam continues.
"We tried sending spies into the demon territory, but before we could, an envoy of demon diplomats had arrived at the gates of their kingdom to greet us and explain the situation. Apparently, as the Demon Lord was half-celestial, he was already around 1,300 years old, so at his advanced age, home accidents would be pretty standard. Still, he happened to slip in the shower while reaching for his rubber ducky, stepped on the bar of soap and cracked his head open. Apparently, his damage nullification magic did not protect him from auto-harm, which is why he passed"
King Fabian looked at Adam with a mouth slightly agape and asked, "Did you just say… demon diplomats? They already organised a new kingdom under a new rule?"
This question brought a sense of unease. Nobody has thought about this scenario – one where the demise of the mighty Demon Lord isn't enough to bring peace upon these lands.
"It's ok, Your Highnesses!" said Adam with a smile warm enough to melt the ice of the Harak-doom mountains "Believe it or not, the demons are friendly"
"They are….. friendly?"
"Yes, sir! Turns out, it's in the demon's nature to listen to the king of their realm. The ruler's word is absolute, which is why demons always act in such a unified manner towards one common goal. But after they 'elected' the next king, their goal has shifted from one of merciless war to peace"
"What do you mean by 'elected'? What even is that?"
"Oh, so the demons live by something called democracy. It's a neat system where
"Very strange. But who is the individual who will reign over the devils? He must be someone truly remarkable"
"Truly. They have chosen an archmage. The one whom people called 'the chosen one'. Oracle of Arakh. A great sage who mastered the arts of interdimensional wisdom by traversing his astral body across the multiverse, observing endless universes and learning from them. The all-knowing demon with angelic grace. And his name…. Bobby"
"Bobby?"
(Bobby?)
Bobby?
(Even Mr Narrator can't believe it.)
Ah yes. It is pretty strange…
(See?)
"Yes, sir. The sage is called Boberion Aleccio but after receiving a revelation of an otherworldly dimension in which he's said to have seen the true meaning of life he became a firm believer in the power of "Whatsupdawg" - now the official religion of the demon state - he decided to change his name to Bobby as it best represents his current philosophy of being 'just a chill dude'. Apparently, he has been elected after introducing a holy artefact from another world called 'Frozen Pizzabagels', which cured his lands of famine in an instant"
Murmurs and whispers spread around the hall. It seemed impossible, but the sincerity with which the young man spoke about his experiences seemed to persuade even the most sceptical onlookers.
Anastasia stepped forward, nervously digging a nail into her palm, a habit she developed back when she was a child, when she anticipated something uncertain.
"Then… is it over?" she asked Adam. Voice trembling under the weight of its promise ", Is the war over? Can we finally live in peace?"
Adam smiled warmly and directed his kind gaze toward her eyes.
"That's not all, Princess Anastasia. As we travelled across the lands back to deliver the good news, we encountered a goblin group that, instead of attacking, offered us a basket of fresh fruit. A cave troll blocking the road stepped aside when we asked politely. A sabertooth tiger approached us and began purring. It seems the whole world is at peace now"
He looked at his trusty sword hanging on his hip, with an almost apologetic smile and chuckled.
"Seems like I might be out of the job if there's no need for a warrior in this era"
His smile became contagious as the guests of the crown started exchanging smiles and burst out laughing, filled with unfiltered joy.
Even the king seems to have his eyes filled with tears of relief, knowing he won't have to send any more good youngsters out to war. Finally, after thousands of years, this land can finally know peace.
Among this grandiose celebration, a single hand was raised upwards with evident hesitation.
"Emmm…. Ex- Excuse me? So what happens to me?" Kyoujiro asked with a voice full of uncertainty.
Suddenly, the celebration stopped. Everyone turned their stares towards the summoned hero. The one who was about to embark on an extraordinary journey to save their world.
There's a strong scent of awkwardness in the air surrounding the would-be hero, especially since most people forgot he was even there. Even as a narrator, I kinda forgot about him for a moment. I mean, it was so epic and… never mind.
King Fabian sighs loudly, stroking his long beard. He looked at their almost saviour.
"Hanazaki Kyoujiro. Summoned hero from another world. The one wielding the power of a sun. The mightiest and the strongest. I'm afraid you won't be able to go home since you weren't the one to defeat the Demon Lord, you know, the way we described in the last chapter, so you're unfortunately stuck"
"But… do I at least have Princess's hand in marriage, right?"
Kyoujiro tries to find Anastasia's eyes, but they're quickly averted as if she just saw a crazy ex on the same bus and tried to hide in the most obvious way possible.
"Sorry, lad. I guess it wasn't meant to be," the king continues, "and since we don't need a hero in this era, I'm afraid we have to let you go due to the restructuring of our war department. You're fired. Guards!"
"Guards?"
Before Kyoujiro can protest, he feels two strong arms on his shoulders, and in the next scene, he's being thrown out onto the streets of Rosalia, landing face-first on the cobblestone road.
The loud clang of the holy sword landing next to him rings in his ear, mingling with a trickling of coins in a leather pouch right next to it.
A small pink sticky note attached to the pouch reads: "Have fun. Build a harem or something. Just don't come back. Our bad LOL."
Kyoujiro stares at the bright piece of paper for a second before crumbling it in his fist and looking up to the sky.
"WHAT THE ACTUAL F********"?!?!?!?!!?!"