The next morning when Dean woke up, he found Cait sitting in the same place he'd seen her the night before. The book she'd been reading lay open on her lap with only three or four pages left to the end.
Dean pulled himself from his bed and blinked. A dull light shone through the curtained windows. It must have been the early hours of the morning.
"Didn't you get any sleep?" Dean asked, his voice low and groggy.
"Huh," Cait looked up in surprise. "Oh, good morning, Dean," she said with a bright smile.
It seemed she hadn't heard his question. He sighed and dragged himself out of bed. He washed up and put on a fresh set of warm clothes. When he was ready, he looked back at Cait. It had been about ten minutes, but she still sat staring at the same page.
"Aren't you going to finish?" He asked.
Cait shook her head. She had a strained expression on her face. It was the first time Dean had seen that expression on her.
"You must've enjoyed it if you stayed up all night reading. Wouldn't it be a shame not to see it through to the end?"
"I can't. I don't like endings. They're too difficult and sad for me."
"Sad?"
"I don't want to say goodbye." She whispered.
So that's what this was about. True, if a story is particularly good, finishing it could fill one with a particular sense of dread. The mind could linger on it for hours or even days.
Dean personally liked endings. If done well, they could give meaning to the work and bring closure. Even so, everyone had their own way of reading.
Cait's reaction to the ending dilemma was extremely child-like. Dean walked over to her and gently laid a hand on the book.
"If that's the case, then it doesn't have to end."
Cait looked up at him with wide eyes.
"What do you mean?"
"If you close the book now, then the characters living inside will go on with their lives without you. I'm sure they'll live happily ever after, and you can think of them from time to time."
"It doesn't have to end?" She asked, her voice rising a little.
"No."
She grabbed his hand and held it a little too tightly.
"It's really ok for a story to go on forever, you think so, right?"
This was getting to be a little intense. Dean didn't necessarily want to agree with her, but getting caught up in the moment and not wanting to upset her, he nodded.
"Yeah, I promise. I'm sure a never ending story can be beautiful too."
Slowly, Cait closed the book. She gently smiled at the cover, a picture of a young girl in a steepled hat looking over a vast, mountainous landscape, and gently brushed her hand over it.
"Thank you," she whispered.
Dean wasn't sure what she was thanking him for, but he smiled and nodded. She seemed to have become attached to the book. He wondered if it would ever be ok to tell her his honest feelings about endings. Every good story needed one, for better or worse. However, for this tortured girl, not knowing the ending at all might be better for the time being.
"Come on, let's head downstairs." He said.
He wanted to check up on everyone. They stepped out of the room and made their way to the salon. Along the way, Dean noted the time. It was six-forty five. Unsurprisingly, the salon was empty, but as they turned to leave, they found Methaeus walking around the entrance hall. He was moving from window to window and pulling the curtains to let in some morning light. When he noticed Dean he bowed.
"Young master Dean, I am glad you are safe. It's rare to see you alone so early in the morning."
Dean looked around. Cait had not left the salon with him. He could see her hiding behind the door.
"Yeah, trouble sleeping," he replied. "Can't believe you're doing housework at a time like this."
It was probably better that Methaeus didn't see Cait. It was likely that he was responsible for her being in the dungeon in the first place. Even if he wasn't, there was no way he wasn't aware of it.
"With Maria missing and Rosetta refusing to leave her room, it falls to me to keep this place in working order."
So, Rosetta never left her room in the end.
"I was thinking of going to see her now." Dean said.
Methaeus nodded.
"Yes, perhaps an old friend may lift her spirits when I cannot. After this, I will prepare some breakfast, so please help yourself."
"Sure," Dean said with a nod.
Methaeus' work eventually led him into the dining room. With him gone, Cait could step out of the salon.
"Is Methaeus the one who locked you up down there?" He asked her.
Cait shook her head.
"No, Methaeus was always kind to me."
"Then why did you hide?"
Cait looked down at her feet and didn't answer.
"Don't want to say? Well, whatever. I'm worried about Rose. Let's go see how she's doing."
Together, Dean and Cait went up to the second-floor hallway. To his surprise, Dean found the door to Rosetta's room to be unlocked and slightly ajar.
"Is she actually up at this hour? That's rare." Dean muttered to himself, "Maybe she's finally airing out that room."
The room beyond the door was still dark as the curtains had not yet been pulled. Had she fallen asleep with the door open? That was careless.
"Rosetta?" Dean called.
There was no response. He looked at Cait.
"She's probably still asleep after all."
He took a step inside but paused when he felt Cait grab his sleeve.
Dean gave her a slightly troubled look.
"I know it's not very polite to walk into a ladies' room uninvited, but these aren't exactly normal circumstances. Why don't you go in and check on her? I can wait out here."
Cait shook her head.
"I don't want to go in there alone," she said quietly
Dean sighed.
"Then there's no helping it, is there?"
He pushed the door open and stepped inside. When his eyes adjusted to the dark, Rosetta's sleeping form came into view. She looked comfortable under all those layers of blankets.
"Rosetta, it's time to get up. I think Methaeus needs your help this morning."
There was no response. Dean felt a pang of sympathy for whoever had to wake her up every morning. He stepped further into her room. Once again he had to walk carefully to avoid the clothes strewn across the floor.
"Hey Rosetta?"
He could now see her blond hair peeking out from under the blankets. She resembled a turtle or a snail . Dean was wondering if he should shake her awake when his eyes glimpsed her bedside table.
numerous cylindrical medicine containers were placed on top. Many of them were empty and had fallen over. There were also a large number of tablets scattered around. Dean felt a surge of panic.
"Rosetta!"
He grabbed the blankets and pulled them off a little. Rosetta was lying on her front.
"Rosetta, can you hear me?"
He grabbed her shoulder and shook it, noticing more tablets in her bedsheets as he did. With his heart beating loudly, he pulled hard, turning her over to face him.
Wide eyes stared back at him.
He screamed and fell backwards. Rosetta was looking right at him. Empty eyes. Mouth hanging open. Blue lips.
At that moment, the smell of vomit and other foul substances filled his nostrils. He failed to hold in the contents of his stomach.
He heaved, but nothing came up. He hadn't eaten much recently.
Breakfast, he hadn't eaten breakfast yet. He'll do that after he wakes up Rosetta. He can try to convince her to run away with him.
Somebody was holding him. Why were they holding him?
"Dean. Oh, Dean I'm so sorry."
"Why are you sorry?"
He had to wake Rosetta up. He got to his feet and trundled over to her and shook her shoulder. Her skin was cold and blue. Had she slept in the cold? He shook harder.
"Rosetta, wake up!" he shouted.
"Dean stop it. We're too late."
Cait put a hand on his arm.
"She probably died last night."
Dean laughed.
"Wh-what do you mean?" he asked shakily.
Oh yes, CPR. He could try that. He had never trained in it, but it could help someone who was really in trouble.
He pushed slightly on her shoulder so that she was lying on her back and began to press down on her chest. Over and over again.
"Dean, please stop."
Somebody was telling him to stop. Why would they say such a cruel thing?
"Rose, please."
"Dean, you can't help her now. Come on, we need to tell someone."
"Rose, don't you leave me behind too." He whispered, his voice cracking slightly.
After what felt like an hour, his hands lost their strength. He stood there staring blankly at his dead friend. Against his best wishes, rational thought returned.
Rosetta hadn't died with dignity. It was horrible to look at, and yet he couldn't look away. She was always so prickly. Always snapping at him for his terrible behavior. She would never do that again. Once again, he had failed to protect someone close to him.
"I should have talked to her more."
He knew that recent events had taken their toll on her. Life here could never have been called happy. He heard soft crying behind him.
"Why are you crying? You barely knew her," He sneered.
He turned towards Cait. Her head was hanging, and she was wiping away her tears with her sleeves.
"I know I'm sorry. I have no right to, but..."
Dean didn't have it in him to comfort her. He could barely keep himself standing. The smell was getting too much. Without a word, he stormed out of the room. He didn't stop in the hallway. He just kept walking.
"Hey Dean wait, you shouldn't be alone right now!"
He heard footsteps behind him, but he didn't slow his pace. He made his way to a small storage room on the first floor, under the stairs. All the outdoor equipment for snow traversal was stored there.
He picked out what he needed mechanically and shoved it all in a rucksack. He found a heavy coat, snow boots and waterproof trousers and put them all on. Beside him, Cait did the same without asking questions.
When they eventually stepped outside, Dean shied away, wrapping his coat around him tightly. The snow was still falling, and the wind cut through him like a knife.
"What about Matin, Maria and Nicolas?" Cait asked. "They're your friends too, right? They're still alive."
Dean didn't answer. Matin had made his choice yesterday, and he wasn't sure if he could even find Nicolas and Maria now. Could he even trust them?
"You should stay here," he mumbled.
Cait had gone through so much already. Really, what was he thinking dragging her out here?
"No, I'm coming with you."
"It's freezing to the point of being dangerous. You were tied up in a dungeon until yesterday. What makes you think you'd be anything but a bother to me?" He snapped.
"Then why are you going?"
Dean, surprised by her comment, didn't know what to say. He knew he was running away under the guise of 'getting help'. Turning his back on everyone just as he did ten years ago. He didn't care anymore. He'd already lost too much since coming back.
"It's too dangerous for you to go by yourself. I'm coming with you. If you refuse, I'll just follow you from a distance."
Dean stood there silently for a moment, gritting his teeth before rushing out into the courtyard
He was walking fast, as fast as he could without actually breaking out into a run. The flurry of falling snow hindered sight, but the road was wide enough and framed clearly by the tree line of the forest that it was impossible to get lost even in the worst conditions. However, if visibility and getting lost weren't a problem, then mobility was. The snow was deep, making each step difficult even with the help of snow boots. He didn't care and just kept walking.
"Dean, please wait. You're going too fast and I, I can't keep...up!"
He ignored Cait's exhausted voice.
Dean's mind continuously tortured him with memories of Rosetta. Her usual angry and sad expressions with a few slight smiles mixed in. Finally, her lifeless face. Had she really overdosed on pills? In his shock, he had completely forgotten to investigate the scene further. Useless, so utterly useless.
Addi. Did he accept that she was dead as well? He wanted to stop thinking, and so he broke out into a run.
"Dean, don't! You'll fall and hurt yourself!"
Almost as if her warning was tempting faith, Dean's foot caught on a root buried in the snow and he fell face first into the snow. Pushing himself up out of the snow, he let out a scream full of frustration and anger.
He should have done more. He should have saved them. What good was his coming back here in the first place?
"Rose..." he cried as he stared at the white snow in front of him.
He felt a weight on his back. It was Cait, hugging him from behind.
"It's ok. It's not your fault." She whispered.
"Get off of me." He whispered. "I said get off of me!" he shouted, twisting his back and using his arms to throw her off him.
Cait fell into the deep snow with a quick cry. She struggled for a moment before getting to her feet again.
"I'm sorry Dean I'm not very smart, so I can't really help you with this, but I know... I know you're a good person who's doing his best, so don't cry."
"You don't know me. We only met yesterday. How can you say something so damned irresponsible!" He roared.
Cait flinched and looked like she was about to cry. However, to Dean's surprise, she stepped forward with a determined expression and tried to hug him again. He didn't stop her, His limbs felt numb, and he just felt so very tired.
"I know you're a kind person who always puts others first, even if it's bad for you. You're sad because of Rose and Addi. That's ok, I'm sad too. So it's ok to cry and shout."
"I left them here for ten years, I don't deserve to mourn them. They probably cursed me with their dying breath, and I deserve it."
Cait's hug became tighter.
"You shouldn't lie. You know Addi thought the world of you."
"How the hell would you know?"
Cait had never met Addi and Addi certainly never mentioned her before.
"I do. I'm sorry I can't explain, but I do! You being here made her happy, and I'm sure it made Rose happy too. She was just too shy to show it."
He thought back to his interactions with Rosetta over the last few days. She had mostly been angry or sad and had rarely smiled.
"I made the last few days of Rose's life miserable." He whispered with a shaky voice.
"No, I'm sure you gave her hope, however small it was."
Lies. Cait was lying to him just to comfort him. He hated it. He hated it because it was starting to work. Just knowing that someone was willing to lie to him to make him feel better filled him with a small warmth. It did little to undo his guilt, but maybe that was ok.
"What should I do, Cait, how can I make things right again?" He asked, his voice void of any feeling whatsoever.
Cait was silent for a moment. She rested her head on his shoulder.
"There are others who still need your help at the monastery. Can you give up on them because you lost Rosetta?"
There was no implied answer in her tone. Cait sounded genuinely curious. He thought of Marianne, Methaeus and even Nicolas and Maria. But most of all he thought of Matin, his best friend for as long as he could remember. His friend had put his hopes in him. He couldn't let him down. He couldn't leave him in the guest house to die. Even so, Dean didn't feel confident.
"I'm useless. I'm probably gonna mess up again." He said.
"That's ok, I'll stay with you even if you do mess up."
Dean almost laughed.
He knew he had rescued her from a dungeon and that she was probably grateful, but this all felt very off. It was impossible for Cait to feel this close to him after a mere day . Even so, with his fragile state of mind, he decided to hold on to this farce of a relationship. If only so he could keep going for another day.
"Guess I don't have a choice." He muttered, getting to his feet. "I can't possibly do any worse. It can only go up from here, right?" He said, turning to Cait and giving her a sad smile.
"Only up from here." She agreed with a smile.
Looking down at Cait, Dean's mind was a confused mess. This girl was somewhat familiar. She had to be. Otherwise, there was no way her words would have gotten through to him. It bothered him to no end, but at least that troublesome thought seemed to drown out a bit of his grief. Cait was a mystery and was likely to remain so for the time being.
"Let's get going and... thanks, Cait."
"You're welcome," she replied with a smile.
And so the two set off once again. Dean with a determination to save anyone who yet lived and Cait, the bizarre girl who decided to stay at his side, following behind.
As they walked through the trees, Dean decided to strike up a conversation if only to distract his roiling mind.
"Did you grow up here?" He asked.
"What?"
Cait, caught off-guard by the question, nearly tripped in the snow. After steadying herself, she thought for a moment before speaking.
"Yes, I used to play in the garden and read books all the time. But sometimes Brother Methaeus would ask me to do boring stuff like help with the ceremonies. It was so boring!"
Dean wondered if she had been one of the orphans he'd forgotten about. There had been many them there when he was young, but he only ever interacted with a small few. Namely Maria, Addi, Nicolas and Rosetta.
"You really like books, don't you?" He asked.
"Yes, I do. I really like the ones with magic and heroes in them. They're so cool!"
"You mean fantasy books, right? The best fantasy books draw you in with detailed worlds, rich lore and a diverse cast of characters. It takes a lot of talent to make something like that work."
Cait tilted her head. It appeared she didn't understand what he was talking about. Dean realised he might have gotten a bit carried away.
"Heroes and magic are cool and all, but I think a good villain is what a story needs most of all ."
"I don't like villains all that much. I like it when they get taught a lesson by the hero!" Cait responded. There was a little sharpness in her voice, which was actually nice to hear. He had been beginning to think that she held no strong opinions of her own.
Dean chuckled. He was surprised at his own reaction. He was surprised he could laugh at a time like this. Their discussion continued as they walked.
While Cait's insights on fiction weren't particularly nuanced and a little childish, the enthusiasm with which she spoke about books more than made up for it, and the two continued talking for some time.
Not long after they left the Monastery they came across another old-looking building made of red bricks. It looked like a large house.
"The orphanage." Dean whispered.
"Do you want to check on them?" Cait asked.
Dean shook his head.
He thought of Layota and the orphans and hoped that they were safe. He resisted the urge to seek shelter from the freezing cold snow. It was still the early hours of the morning and, judging by the windows, the people inside had yet to wake. The sooner he brought help, the better for the people inside. That's what he told himself as he walked on.
About two hours into the journey, a sudden gust of wind almost blew them off their feet. Through the howling wind, Dean heard a large snapping sound. He turned towards the source of the sound only to see a tree falling towards them. Grabbing Cait's hand, he yanked her with him as he jumped out of the way. The tree fell at the exact spot Cait had been standing. Dean felt the twigs and branches scrape at his cheeks but, luckily, they avoided the trunk.
"What the hell was that?" Dean asked between breaths.
He looked up at the surrounding forest. The sudden wind had passed, and the snow-laden trees stood still.
"Are you ok?" he asked, turning to Cait.
Cait nodded.
"I'm fine," she replied.
"Where the hell did that gust come from?
The snow was consistently heavy, but the wind had been rather light until now.
"Talk about unlucky," Dean muttered. "Let's keep going."
Dean made sure to keep to the center of the road from then on, keeping a close eye on the tree line now and then. Aside from that one incident, their progress down the mountain was easier than Dean had anticipated, and he believed they were making good time.
"I'm never spending time in the mountains during winter again." Dean swore to himself.
Cait looked at him with a difficult expression that might have been disappointment.
"You don't like it here?" She asked, big eyes looking straight at Dean.
"Well, I mean, I like mountains and the outdoors. But this place has nothing but bad memories for me now."
"Does that mean you won't be coming back here?"
Cait was now looking at Dean with an openly worried expression. Her walk had slowed to an almost complete stop.
"I don't plan to." He said honestly.
Once he could be sure everyone else was safe, he would return to the city. Nothing good ever came from staying in this place.
"You can't! If you don't come back, then I won't be able to see you again."
Cait's eyes were becoming wet, and there was an unmistakable tremble in her voice. It called to mind a child who was being forcibly separated from their parent.
Dean sighed.
What was her issue? Sure, he'd saved her from the dungeon, but her attachment to him was beginning to feel unnatural.
"If you don't like it, then why don't you leave with me?" He asked.
Cait shook her head.
"I can't leave here."
Rosetta had said something to the same effect. It made Dean wonder what they were being told as children to make them think like that.
"Well, it looks to me like you're leaving right now," Dean said, stating the obvious.
They had been walking for a few hours now. Surely this counted as leaving the monastery.
Cait didn't respond.
"Look, if you want to stay here, then be my guest. I'm not going to be held back by this place ever again, sorry." He said bitterly as memories of Addi and Rose came rushing back to him.
He was focused on walking forward. Placing one foot in front of the other. If Cait said anything or reacted in any way, he didn't notice.
They continued making their way down the mountain in silence. Dean's legs were beginning to hurt. They couldn't be far from the nearby village of Tallow by now.
They eventually passed under a high cliff. Wary of what had happened before, Dean made sure to stand well clear of it on the opposite side of the road. If they maintained this distance, then they'd surely be ok.
A low rumbling sound was all the warning he got. A split second later, the ground shook, and the sound of multiple trees snapping reached Dean's ears.
"An earthquake?" Dean shouted, his gaze shooting towards the cliff.
The road was built on the cliff side. On their left was a wall of rock and to their right, a sheer cliff edge and a long fall to the forest below. He looked up and saw large quantities of snow falling off the cliff above. He grabbed Cait's hand and tried to quicken their pace.
"Shit." Dean cursed.
It was too late. An avalanche of snow hurtled towards them. Dean felt himself be swept from his feet and thrown over the edge. He felt a sharp pain as his legs struck the metal barrier at the edge of the road. It didn't take long for Cait's hand to slip from his.
As he fell, Dean felt pine needles and branches give way under his weight before falling into snow. The snow from above followed him, and he was buried beneath it where he fell. Luckily, he was not buried completely. His upper body remained uncovered, and he managed to dig himself out. Luckily, the deep snow on the ground had cushioned his fall somewhat.
He slowly got to his feet and looked around. He could spot Cait a few feet away, her black hair easy to spot in the surrounding snow.
"Cait!"
She looked at him, eyes wide and mouth gasping for air.
"Thank the Goddess!" Dean said as he desperately dug her out of the snow.
He rarely used the Goddess' name, but this was an exceptional occasion.
"I suppose we can be thankful for the snow this one time." He muttered.
When she was at last free, he fell to the ground feeling utterly exhausted. Cait, able to move just fine, crawled over to him and rested her head on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." She whimpered.
"Why are you sorry?" Dean asked. He almost chuckled, but his body needed air and didn't allow him the pleasure. Cait only continued to apologize.
"Something doesn't want us off this mountain." Dean said, thinking of the multiple near misses they had experienced.
Looking up at the canopy above, he felt snowflakes tickle his nose and cheeks.
"Is there something you're not telling me?" Dean asked quietly.
There had to be a reason she was apologising. He looked at her tear stained face, completely red from the cold.
"I don't think we can get off the mountain." She said.
"What?"
For sure, it was no simple task getting down the mountain. Many people had made that very clear to him, but what exactly made it impossible?
Cait stood up. Her eyes were glued to something beyond the tree line. Dean followed her gaze but couldn't see anything unusual.
"Do you see something?" he asked, hoping she had caught sight of the village.
"It's this way," she said, walking forward.
Dean shakily got to his feet. His leg hurt, but luckily, nothing felt broken. He followed Cait through the woods, wading in waste high snow. Wondering if there was a path ahead, Dean noticed something in the distance.
"Finally," Dean said, breathing a sigh of relief.
He overtook Cait in his hurry to get to the distant building. He had braved the blizzard and had finally made it. If the people living here had a phone, he could call for help. As he drew closer, something in the back of his mind started to bother him. He stopped and heard Cait catch up to him from behind.
Before them stood a large house built of red brick. The large windows on the first and second floors were familiar to him. He circled around the exterior and, sure enough, it was exactly the same as the building they'd passed when they started this journey. The orphanage.
"It's gotta be a copy. Some architect just decided to use the exact same plans on a building further down the mountain, right?" Dean asked desperately, trying to think of a logical reason for this discovery.
Cait shook her head.
"No, this is the orphanage. We're just a few minutes away from the monastery." Cait said.
Dean laughed as if he had heard a brilliant joke. Without acknowledging her words, he examined the front of the building and its surroundings. Eight windows, four on either side of a large black door framed with white columns. It faced a road that was eerily familiar even in the snow.
When he looked up at the second floor, he saw a couple of youthful faces looking back at him. They quickly dispersed when he noticed them.
"Kids," he muttered. "The orphans. Yeah, I must have hit my head pretty hard during that fall, eh?"
Cait immediately began to examine his head with a worried expression. He didn't feel any pain or dizziness, but he was too absorbed in his own thoughts to stop her. There was no other explanation. He had to be unconscious and in a dream.
In contrast with earlier, some lights had been turned on and there was clearly activity within. Once again he looked down the road and then looked up, in the opposite direction.
They had spent almost half a day walking almost entirely downslope away from the monastery. It was physically impossible for them to be back at the orphanage.
"Tell me, Cait, how did we end up back here?" He asked quietly.
Cait remained silent.
"You're not going to get away with silence this time. You knew this would happen beforehand, didn't you?"
Cait shook her head frantically.
"I didn't know for sure, I promise! I knew that if anyone could escape, it would be you. Maybe if we just tried again and wish very hard?"
What was she talking about? It seemed impossible to get a straight answer in this place.
"Tell me, how did we get back here?" He asked again. His voice was low and threatening, which surprised even him.
"We came back here because we reached the edge of this world. There's nothing else beyond the monastery and the mountain, so it must have brought us back around again."
Dean stood frozen for a moment, his brain trying to make sense of what he'd just heard.
"No," he said simply.
At the monastery, he could see for miles. Not to mention, he had arrived at the monastery less than a week ago after spending years in the city.
"It was never written, so the outside world doesn't exist." Cait added. Her words becoming even more cryptic.
Dean felt tired, and his arm ached after the fall. They'd been walking for hours, and there was no use trying to figure out Cait's words.
He stepped towards the house, but noted Cait's reluctance. She stood rooted to the spot, looking up at the building.
"I don't know if you have any complicated feelings about this place, but I think we should head inside before we die from the cold."
Cait looked at him and gave a small nod.
"I used to play here all the time. It wasn't so bad."
"Great, then let's go."
Dean walked up to the door and knocked. From the other side, he could hear light running footsteps and excited shouting. It took a while before the heavier steps of an adult could be heard. He heard numerous locks being unlocked and then the door opened.
Sister Layota appeared from behind the door. Her expression was cautious yet still somewhat kindly.
"Do come in. The two of you must be freezing." She said with a smile.
Dean and Cait wasted no time and hurried into the house. Layota closed the door behind them and locked it tight. She then turned to face them, bowing slightly.
"Welcome back Dean, I'm relieved to see you safe and sound."