"Right then, is everyone armed and ready?"
Maria's booming voice echoed throughout the library and was answered by an enthusiastic cheer from the drunken crowd. Nicolas looked on with a heavy feeling of trepidation. Many in the crowd were swinging their rifles around like flags and howling like wolves. Maria had managed to whip them up into a frenzy while handing out the weapons.
Wasn't this supposed to be his group? Wasn't Maria only there to support him? Looking at the current situation, it felt like it was the other way around.
"Right then, our target is the guest house where those rich bastards have dug themselves in! Remember, we're doing the Goddess' work here, so everyone do your best!" Maria shouted at the top of her lungs.
Nicolas walked over to Maria.
"There can't be more than a handful of people willing to fight in the guest house, do we really need so much firepower?"
Maria looked at him as if he were mad.
"Of course we need this much! If you have the option to overwhelm your enemy, then why not go for it?"
"These people are more likely to shoot themselves or worse, shoot me or you by accident."
Maria waved a hand.
"Don't worry, I've ordered them to..."
There was a loud bang followed by the sound of falling rubble.
"Sorry! I didn't notice the safety was off."
The young man who had fired the rifle apologised and looked slightly embarrassed. This was followed by a round of roaring laughter from his friends.
Nicolas felt dread in the pit of his stomach and took a few steps away from the wild crowd.
"What they lack in sense they sure make up for in enthusiasm." Maria laughed.
Nicolas looked out over the crowd. Many of them had been in the orphanage with him many years ago. He'd never particularly liked them, but that didn't mean he wanted to see them killed. Well, not most of them. He looked over at Diskin, who was showing off his rifle to Ruth and Sarah. Neither girl looked the slight bit interested.
"Some of them are probably gonna die today, huh?" he asked quietly.
He didn't know why he said those words. It was pointless to complain now that the decision had been made.
"So what if they do? It'll be less for me to worry about," Maria said flatly as she loaded her own rifle. "Come on, the sooner we get Rose outta there, the better. So let's get going."
Nicolas had no choice but to follow Maria and the armed mob as they descended to the ground floor of the library and into the courtyard. It was twilight, and visibility was poor, but a few lights could be seen from the guest house in the distance. They trudged through deep snow to get to their destination, and when they had gotten to one side of the fountain, just out of sight of the guest house, Maria held up her hand to stop the group.
Many continued for a few steps before realizing they were supposed to stop. Some others actually managed to trip over themselves in the process.
Maria looked over at Nicolas and nodded. He sighed and stepped out in front while keeping a close eye on where the mob were pointing their rifles.
"As we've discussed, Maria and I will be going around back while you guys attack them head on. Wait two minutes after we're out of sight and then start shooting into any room you think is occupied. If you see Marianne or Methaeus, make sure to kill them first!"
"Yes, Savior!" They shouted in response.
Despite his misgivings, Nicolas felt a hint of confidence from the respectful response. Even if they were out of their minds, they valued him now. He was their leader, and it felt good.
"Anyone who bags Methaeus or Marianne will get a special prize from yours truly!" Maria added, winking at some of the young men.
Nicolas shot her an annoyed look, which she answered by sticking her tongue out at him.
After a few moments, the pair were away, and sneaking around the back of the guest house while ducking under the ground-floor windows.
Soon after, they heard the first crackles of gunfire.
"That couldn't have been more than thirty seconds," Nicolas complained.
"They waited longer than I thought they would." Maria laughed.
Maria stopped and pointed upwards towards a small rectangular window about two meters above them.
"This is the window to the utility room. I doubt anybody is anywhere near here right now," she said.
She raised her rifle and shot a couple of times, shattering the glass. Nicolas winched.
"You could've used a rock. Someone probably heard that." He hissed.
"Nah, they're occupied for sure. Come on, I'll give you a boost."
Nicolas sighed but allowed Maria to help him reach the high window. Brushing away some remaining glass, he slid through the window and rested his feet on the counter below. He turned around and leaned out the window, extending his hand towards Maria. She grabbed it, and he nearly got dragged back outside as a result.
"Ghh, you're so heavy."
"Watch your mouth Nick, or I'll have to wash it out for you!"
After a few moments of struggling and cursing on Nicolas' part, they were both inside the utility room.
"See, not a soul in sight." Maria said proudly, with her hands on her hips.
"Of course not, why would anybody be hanging out here?" Nicolas asked, annoyed.
"Come on, Nick. Let's use the servant's stairs. Doubt those morons can keep up the distraction for much longer."
There was a spiral staircase on the other side of the hall from the utility room. It was cramped, but it kept the servants from having to use the grand staircase in the main hall. This also meant that guests didn't have to run into them as frequently as they performed their tasks. Conveniently, this staircase led to the servant's rooms, including Rosetta's.
The wooden stairs creaked noisily as they ascended.
"Dammit, hate these creaky ass stairs. Sure, Oscar would make sure the guest areas were pristine, but this place hasn't seen any work in his lifetime. Lazy old bastard." Maria complained.
"I'll get something done when all this is over." Nicolas said.
He didn't intend to make it sound like a promise. This was simply banter after all. Even so, Maria gave him a rare smile.
When they got to the second floor, they were met with a small landing and single door. Maria pushed it open and they found themselves at one end of a corridor. Somebody else was already there.
A young man with red hair and spectacles stood outside Rosetta's room. When the door opened, he looked their way. Maria raised her rifle in an instant.
"Maria, wait." Nicolas said.
Matin had taken a step back at the sudden aggression and was looking slightly frightened. Even so, he didn't try to run away.
"Hey, it's been a while, you two," he said with his usual friendly smile.
Maria raised an eyebrow while looking down the sights of her gun.
"Didn't think you'd have the balls to be so calm with a gun pointed straight at you Matin," she said.
Matin's eyes widened slightly.
"I look calm?" he asked before chuckling dryly. "Well, I guess a lot's happened. I might just be too tired to show it. Trust me, I'm terrified. Could you maybe put that thing away?"
"Why are you back here? Did you run away from the commotion in the front?" Nicolas asked.
Matin rubbed the back of his head as he looked down the corridor towards the front of the house.
"Well, Mitch told me there might be an attempt to sneak in, and then we heard some gunshots from the back of the house, so he sent me to check it out." Matin said. "I was happy to be away from the shooting, though."
Nicolas gave Maria a withering look, which she ignored.
"So what are you going to do? Call Mitch and Methaeus up here?" Nicolas asked, his muscles tensing as he tried to keep eye contact with his old friend.
"Doubt he wants to die that badly," Maria said with a laugh.
"He's not who we're after, come on Maria."
They were only there to find Rosetta. Killing Marianne and Methaeus was also on the table. He didn't want to have to kill Matin.
"Wasn't it you who used to always go on about hating the rich kids? Well, he's one of them. He'll walk all over you if you're not careful, Nick."
Matin's face contorted in pain as he listened to Maria's words.
"You know I wouldn't..."
"Not now maybe, but what about in 10 years when you're the CEO of whatever company or some big shot politician, what then? You gonna be going around acting like a saint?" Maria asked, her voice rising an octave as she went.
There was a brief silence as Matin considered his next words.
"I don't think that has anything to do with what's going on now. Nick, Maria, why are you doing this? Where have you been and what have you been doing?" He said, voice cracking slightly.
Maria looked over at Nicolas and nodded. He sighed before speaking.
"It's like I said on the day of the festival. We're getting rid of those who have corrupted this place and mistreated us all our lives. We want to get back at those who caused Addi's death."
"I see, and then what?"
"And then..." Nicolas hesitated. "We'll take over this place and build a better life for ourselves. Something worthwhile, something that we can be proud of."
Matin narrowed his eyes.
"Do you even know the first thing about governing, about ruling a group of people?" Matin asked. "I've been studying hard for years, and even I'd still be at a complete loss if I tried to take over from Oscar."
"I've been studying too. I can manage it."
It seemed his father's lessons wouldn't completely go to waste if he could use them for a little while before his time was up.
"These kinds of things can't be done alone. Do you have anybody qualified to help you? Do you have a plan for how to delegate responsibilities so that daily life can continue?" Matin said, his voice growing a little more confident with each word. "Even if you've got all that covered, there's no guarantee the government will even recognize you as the legitimate governor."
Nicolas felt cornered by the sudden barrage of questions. He hated to admit it, but he didn't have an answer that was likely to satisfy Matin.
"Then why don't you join up with us? You can finally be free of your mother and do things your way," Maria said. She still had her gun raised at Matin.
Matin shook his head.
"All this time we were looking for you, worried about you. While Rosetta was suffering, you were out playing at revolution? Why?"
Nicolas had never heard Matin so angry before. The man's voice was a razor's edge sharped through gritted teeth.
"She's in her room, right? I want to speak with her," Maria said, stepping forward. Her voice held a hint of concern.
Matin bit his lip, struggling to come up with something to say.
"Fine," he said. "Go and see what all your grand plans have resulted in."
Maria drew in a quick breath and narrowed her eyes. She bolted past Matin to the door to Rosetta's room and opened it.
Nicolas was surprised that the door was opened. Didn't Rosetta usually lock her door? He followed Maria reluctantly. Matin stood to the side, his face turned away.
Nicolas felt a wave of dread wash over him. Why was there silence coming from Rosetta's room? Shouldn't she be shouting at Maria for walking in uninvited?
There was a dull thud as something fell to the floor.
He ran into the room to find Maria standing over Rosetta's bed. The rifle she had been holding was on the ground.
It all became clear once he reached Maria's side. His insides knotted around themselves as he looked down on his friend's pale face. She wasn't merely sleeping.
He looked over at Maria, concerned. She hadn't made a sound since entering the room. Her eyes were half lidded and her chin was trembling slightly.
Instinctively, he felt the urge to flee from Maria. There was no telling how she would react to this.
At some point, Matin had entered the room and stood on Maria's other side. He stood much straighter than usual, and his expression was stiff.
"We found her like this, open bottles of medicine and all. Everything that happened was too much for her to handle," he whispered, his voice trembling.
What followed was a long, painful silence. Occasionally, one would hear the distant gunshots from the skirmish at the front of the building, but it felt a world away now.
Nicolas' muscles were stiff to the point that he could no longer move. Had his actions played a part in all this? He could imagine what staying in the guest house would have been like. Spending every minute in fear of attack. The atmosphere had likely been suffocating.
"She was always weak of will. This is a necessary loss for greater change to happen. We will mourn her and move on," whispered a familiar voice.
His other self brushed off the tragedy, but how could he do that? He had known Rosetta for almost half his life, and now she was gone, just like Addi. Compounding this was the fact that the visions of the future granted to him by the Goddess hadn't shown anything remotely similar to this. This wasn't how things were supposed to go.
Rosetta died because of his actions. She was dead. Unable to take living anymore, she had chosen her path. A stabbing pain grew out from his chest until it threatened to consume him. A sob escaped from his chest.
A sound escaped Maria's throat that sounded like a whimper growing louder. It ended in a blood curdling guttural scream as she fell to her knees. She grabbed the blankets covering Rosetta tightly and twisted them in her fists.
Nicolas turned his face away.
Maria continued to cry for a few moments before going silent. Then, taking a deep breath, she dived towards her rifle. Matin reacted even faster and, with his hand held out straight, he struck Maria's lower neck. She collapsed onto the floor without making so much as a single sound.
It had all happened in less than a second, and Nicolas took a moment to react. He raised his own weapon, ready to defend himself, but hesitated. Matin grabbed it and forced it aside.
"Please stop, Nick."
Despite his violent actions, his voice was quivering.
"Not here, please." He said, voice breaking as he looked over at Rosetta's still body.
The strength left Nicolas and the gun fell to his side. He looked at Matin, unsure of how to react. He had believed Matin to be soft, a bookworm firmly under the heel of his mother. Yet, he could knock out Maria with a single strike.
Matin stood in silence as Nicolas checked Maria's condition. She was unconscious but still breathing.
"She cared about Rose more than any of us. There was no chance she'd ever take is calmly. She'll live, but we need to get her out of here."
"Why are you helping us?" Nicolas asked. "And how the hell were yo able to do that just now?"
"I'm hoping you can talk her out of it, actually," Matin said with a smile. "As for how I did it? Well, mother has me trained in martial arts almost every day."
"And if she doesn't listen? What if she kills your mother, you and everyone else?" Nicolas asked.
"Then that's what happens," Matin responded. There was a hint of resignation in his voice that made Nicolas wonder what had been going on in the guest house all this time.
"There's more going on here than you two causing trouble. It almost feels like we've been cursed or something," Matin said bitterly.
"Cursed?" Nicolas asked.
Matin took a deep breath.
"Killing Oscar I understand but Rosetta and Addi dying had nothing to do with you, did it?"
"But Rosetta, she..."
"Yeah, and we all need to take responsibility. It's our fault for letting her suffer and not doing a thing about it."
Matin looked down at Rosetta. Tears welled in his eyes, which he quickly wiped away.
"Nick, let's stop this. Enough people have died already. We need to work together if we're going to survive the winter."
Nicolas hesitated and looked down at the unconscious Maria. Talking her out of her revenge once she woke up wasn't going to be possible.
Seeing Nicolas looking at Maria, Matin spoke.
"We might have to keep her tied up, so that she doesn't hurt herself or the others."
Nicolas felt a sharp pain in his chest. Maria had lost everything she cared about in the past few days. Did he have any right to force her to give up and accept it? Did he himself want to stop here, having taken the first step?
"No, I'll talk to her once she gets up." Nicolas said.
He was worried Matin might attack him then and there. It would have been easy for the martial artist to subdue him but luckily for him, Matin seemed unwilling to fight.
Matin merely sighed and seemed a little disappointed. He looked towards the exit of the room.
"The sounds of gunfire are getting less and less frequent."
Nicolas listened carefully. Matin was right. He had been so focused on what was happening in front of him that the noise from outside had faded to an unnoticeable din.
"Either they ran away or..."
"Or your friends have broken in," Matin paused for a moment and seemed to be considering something deeply. "Let's take Maria and go. I'll help until you get to the rear exit."
"Wh-" Nicolas let out a sound of surprise but got distracted as Matin stepped up to Maria
"You get a hold of her from under her arms. I'll lift her legs."
Nicolas didn't waste any time, and soon they were leaving the room, holding Maria between them.
"Why are you helping us escape?" Nicolas asked.
It was likely that Maria would come back once she regained consciousness. Matin must have surely known that.
"Things are already out of control. If we take you two, the others outside might get even more violent. Besides, I know it might be hard to remember now, but we were all friends once. I don't have the stomach to lock you up, let alone hurt you. I truly am pathetic, aren't I?" Matin finished with a self-deprecating smile.
Carefully, they made their way down the spiral stairs and into the utility room. There, they gently let Maria down.
"I better get back to the others and see if they're alright." Matin said.
"How's Dean doing? He's probably helping out back there, right?" Nicolas asked, remembering their other friend, whom he hadn't seen since their encounter at the festival.
"Dean?" Matin asked, a forlorn expression on his face. "Yeah, he's acting the hero as usual."
Matin's tone sounded strange, but Nicolas didn't comment on it. He hesitated a little before asking his next question.
"Do you...want to come with us?" Nicolas asked quietly.
Nicolas knew that Matin was always under his mother's thumb. He might have been born to a rich family, but that didn't necessarily mean he had it any better than the orphans when it came to freedom. Matin shook his head.
"Sorry Nick. They need me here. I can't leave her alone at a time like this."
Nicolas shoved back the feeling of disappointment and nodded. He didn't have to ask who he was referring to.
Matin unlocked the door leading outside and helped Nicolas lift Maria over his shoulders. With a little effort, Nicolas stepped outside into the snow.
"Hey Nick?"
"Yeah?"
"Look after yourself and don't forget your medicine."
"Don't worry, I haven't," Nicolas lied and began walking through the snow away from the guest house.
Every step was a struggle of endurance. His back, unused to the weight, felt like it would snap at any moment.
Nicolas had chosen to take a longer route around the back of the cathedral towards the library so as not to be seen. However, it now seemed that he had overestimated his stamina.
He felt dizzy. Every step required careful positioning. He had stumbled many times already because of the snow. It was impossible to know exactly where he was walking and how deep the snow would be. Compounding this was the fact that flurries of snow were blowing right into his face, rendering sight almost useless.
He hugged the walls of the guest house so as not to get completely lost. Every breath hurt, and he felt dizzy. The ground in front of him swayed more than it should, and all he saw was white, even when he closed his eyes. Once again, his body was betraying him.
"Looks like I won't be making it anywhere." He muttered. "Sorry, Maria, I wish I could have carried you all the way back."
"You calling me fat?"
Surprised by the sudden voice in his left ear, he lost focus on the ground in front of him, tripped and fell on his face. He felt movement as Maria rolled off his back.
He turned to face where she had fallen. She was looking up at the sky and panting.
"Good morning?" He said with a forced smile.
Maria glanced at him for a moment before returning her gaze to the sky.
"Shut up, Nick," she muttered.
Silence settled between them as they tried to catch their breath.
"Hey Nick, why don't we just go to sleep here?" Maria asked quietly. "I think I'm done"
Nicolas almost agreed on the spot. The snow felt oddly comfortable after his struggle, and it didn't actually feel so cold anymore.
"Not yet," Nicolas said through gritted teeth.
"What?" Maria asked, looking over at him.
"Dying of exposure isn't how I want to go," Niclas replied.
It would be a pathetic end to fade away, buried in the blizzard. The heir of the great Durin family died while walking from the guesthouse to the library. The thought almost made him laugh.
Maria did laugh, and for a moment, he thought she had read his mind.
"I get it. I at least wanted to go out with a bang, ya know? Something that would be on national television or something."
"Something with meaning, right?" Nicolas asked.
"Yeah."
Nicolas struggled to his knees. Seeing this, Maria followed along.
"Hey Nick, what do you think this 'meaning' is?"
Nicolas tried to think of an answer. He wanted to say something smart to impress her, but his mind was in survival mode, and his thoughts were sloshing around uselessly in his brain.
"I don't know, but wasting away in a hospital bed without having done anything isn't it. I think I just want to be remembered as someone cool. I don't know." The words sounded lame even as he spoke them.
He remembered all those notes he used to take of animals and plants in the mountains when he was young. At the time, he had wanted to publish his own encyclopedia. How long ago was that again?
"Your idea sure is grandiose." Maria laughed. "You also have a strange way of going about it. I mean killing your own father and starting a cult?" Maria said with a laugh.
"Well then, what do you think?" Nicolas asked, feeling slightly stupid for opening up.
In answer, Maria half walked, half stumbled towards him. It seemed as if she intended to hug him, but in the end she'd only managed to fall awkwardly on top of him.
"It's weird. I've always had this feeling, ya know? That nothing we do really matters, that our lives don't really matter. Kinda hard to explain, but I feel like we're just going through the motions before everything is wiped clean with our deaths."
Nicolas furrowed his brows. What exactly was she talking about? It was difficult to think with her lying on top of him. Was she referring to Mortianism? The faith they practiced at the monastery that promised a better life if you lived your current one like a saint?
"Are you talking about the church?" He asked.
"Hmm," Maria mumbled. "That's not quite it, you know I ain't their biggest fan. I dunno, it's just a feeling. Makes it easier to kill others too!" She finished with an unsettling giggle.
Feeling a bit unsettled, Nicolas tried to nudge the conversation back on topic.
"Then is there really nothing that you think gives your life meaning?" He asked.
Surely she hadn't lived out all her twenty four years thinking life was meaningless. She took a while to answer, but when she did, her voice sounded firm and confident.
"Meaning is living for someone else's sake. Thought I'd lost that when I lost Addi and Rose. But then you had to come along, you idiot."
She untangled her arms and held them out to embrace him.
"Hey Nick, can you help me keep going for at least another day or two?"
She leaned back and looked him in the eye. Her green eyes locked with his. They were desperate for something, anything, to keep the light of life in them for just a moment longer.
"Yeah," Nicolas responded with a rasp.
Maria smiled and then leaned in to kiss him.
The first thing that came to mind was discomfort. She was rough, but he could barely feel any of it since his face had long since become numb from the cold. It wasn't as enjoyable as he thought it would be. Even so, he returned it.
After a moment, they separated.
"Why did it have to be now?" Maria asked, her expression crumbling. "I finally find someone just after crossing a line I can't return from. That's so typical of me. Seriously, fuck this life."
Closing his eyes with effort and grunting aloud, he slowly got to his feet.
"Hey, Maria?"
"Yeah?"
"Let's leave our mark on the world, go out with a bang like you said."
He reached his hand out to her
She looked up at him, mouth agape.
"Can you go on for another day or two?" He asked.
She sat in silence for a moment before letting out a loud laugh. She took his hand.
"I suppose I can do that, as long as you're around."
Slowly, the two continued on through the snow. They weren't far from the library's rear entrance, but each step felt like a monumental undertaking.
Maria, despite recovering from Matin's strike, supported Nicolas with her shoulder.
"You carried me halfway, so I gotta do the same for you."
Nicolas no longer had the energy left to protest.
One foot in front of the other, then push through the snow. Repeat, over and over again.
Nicolas no longer knew if he was still conscious or not. Visions kept appearing in the distance. His mother, Addi,Oscar and finally, Rosetta. He had a feeling that if he approached any of them, he would never make it out of the snow.
They offered the rest and comfort he craved, but the person who had lent them their shoulder kept him from giving in. He turned his back on the specters and continued on.
"Hey!"
Nicolas heard a voice. At first he thought it was one of the specters in the distance, but this time the figure approached them.
"It's Maria and Nick!"
"They're alive?"
"Just barely. Quick, get them inside."
Those were the last words Nicolas heard before he once again passed out. In his mind, he heard himself speak.
"Well, would you look at that? How many times have you passed out now? Not to worry, I'll take over for a while. I'll make sure we're remembered."