Unfortunately, in the end, no one got to witness the scene of a billionaire publicly defecating.
Because another armored suit appeared in the room.
"The party's over, everyone out!"
The newcomer was Tony's good friend, Colonel Rhodey.
He had put on an Iron Man armor and was prepared to forcefully end the farce.
But Du Mu saw right through it.
This was clearly Tony intentionally letting him wear it.
Otherwise, how could someone without authorization put on the Iron Man armor? Did they think J.A.R.V.I.S., the super-intelligent A.I., didn't exist?
"Boring."
Du Mu shook his head, his sheer chaos-loving attitude leaving Natasha speechless.
She regretted it.
If she let this guy try to "persuade" Tony, she feared Tony wouldn't last even 72 hours.
Natasha quickly said, "You keep an eye on Tony here. I'm going to report the situation to the Director."
With that, she immediately turned and left.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
By now, the two Iron Man suits were already fighting, wildly punching each other with their metallic fists.
They fought from the living room to the gym, from the second floor down to the first.
In an instant, the mansion was littered with the traces of Tony and Rhodey's passionate brawl.
By the end, both men were genuinely agitated, charging up their repulsor rays and simultaneously firing a blast of energy at each other.
Boom!
The two energy blasts violently collided, instantly creating a powerful shockwave that spread outwards!
Fortunately, the crowd inside had been evacuated beforehand, or Tony and Rhodey's combat record would have suddenly gained dozens of civilian casualties.
When the smoke cleared, Rhodey, wearing the silver Iron Man armor, flew away without a backward glance, leaving Tony alone lying in the ruins.
Du Mu kicked aside a shattered piece of the barrier, walked up to Tony, and tapped the metal faceplate with his knuckle.
"Hey, are you dead?"
"Not yet."
The faceplate opened, revealing Tony's exhausted face.
On his neck, visible black lines, like circuit patterns, were clearly spreading upwards along his veins.
NPC: Tony Stark
Codename: Iron Man
Favorability: 70
Appraisal: The epitome of 'Rich rely on tech, poor rely on mutation', Tony 'Stark-Shit', the Marvel Kryptonian.
Status: Palladium Poisoning
Well, great. In one day, he'd met the two representative figures of "Rich rely on tech, poor rely on mutation."
Du Mu looked at Tony's miserable state and asked curiously, "You were fine before. How did you suddenly become like this?"
Tony was silent for a few seconds before slowly speaking. "It's the reactor... Its energy core is palladium. Every time a palladium core is consumed, a small amount of the element leaches into my bloodstream, gradually destroying my circulatory system."
"But didn't you say one palladium core was enough to power the reactor for decades?"
"That's when it's operating at minimum power. As soon as I put on the suit, the energy consumption increases drastically. I've been looking for a palladium substitute, trying every possible ratio of all known elements, but none of them succeeded."
Perhaps having kept it bottled up for too long, Tony poured out his entire situation in one go.
Du Mu was puzzled. "So why don't you just install the arc reactor on the Iron Man armor? That way, the palladium won't flow into your body, right?"
Tony: "..."
Right! Why hadn't I thought of that method!?
Tony looked distraught. "It's too late. It's already irreversible."
There is basically no treatment plan for palladium poisoning. After all, no one in history has ever installed a miniature nuclear reactor in their chest. Tony was arguably the first, and it wouldn't be an exaggeration to name the disease after him.
"It's just a poisoning buff. Do you need to be so dramatic about it?"
As he spoke, Du Mu pulled out a bottle of strangely green liquid from his game inventory.
Item: Antidote Potion (Can cure all poisoning statuses. Synthesis materials include venom glands, seaweed, and coral)
Before Tony could even ask, Du Mu uncorked the bottle, pinched Tony's mouth open, and poured it down his throat.
"Mmmph—!"
Tony was too weak to resist and was forced to drink the viscous green liquid in the bottle.
"Damn it! What the hell did you just make me drink?" Tony felt a strange taste shoot straight to his brain.
"Antidote potion. Just check for yourself."
Du Mu took out a small mirror and thrust it in front of Tony.
Looking in the mirror, Tony was shocked to see that the black lines on his neck had all vanished!
At the same time, a long-lost feeling of lightness flowed through his body, as if a thousand-pound burden had been lifted!
"Sir, your internal palladium levels have dropped to less than 1%. Palladium poisoning symptoms have disappeared," J.A.R.V.I.S.'s voice chimed in just in time.
It was gone!
And not just relieved, but completely cured!
Tony was somewhat incredulous.
The palladium poisoning, which had plagued him for days and was considered terminal, had just been solved by a bottle of unknown green potion?
"You saved me again."
Tony looked at Du Mu with a complicated expression.
By his count, this was the third time Du Mu had saved his life.
Du Mu waved his hand nonchalantly. "It's a small matter. Just consider it a reward for providing me with so much entertainment tonight."
He pulled out his phone, opened his album, and played the highlight reel from the night.
It was the segment where Tony drank his own urine in public.
"When I'm short on cash later, I'll release this video and make a fortune. I've even thought of the title: Shocking! Iron Man Drinks Urine in Public!"
Tony: "..."
I feel like I'd be better off dead!
Not long after, S.H.I.E.L.D. agents arrived on the scene.
Leading them was Director Nick Fury, who had finally left his office.
Behind him followed Natasha, now wearing a sharp, black combat suit.
Tony looked at Natasha's outfit and exclaimed in surprise, "You're a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent? I can't believe you were hiding it so well!"
Du Mu also sighed. "I'm sorry, Tony. I'm actually an undercover agent too. I've been hiding by your side as a bodyguard all this time. I bet you never guessed that, right?"
Tony's mouth twitched slightly. "..."
No, I totally guessed it. Anyone who isn't blind could tell you're an undercover agent.
Next, Nick Fury instructed all S.H.I.E.L.D. agents to leave the second-floor hall; he wanted to speak with Tony privately.
Du Mu and Natasha came down to the ground-floor lobby.
Under Natasha's bewildered gaze, Du Mu casually opened a bottle of wine from the wine cabinet and then looked up at the ceiling with keen interest.
"What are you looking at?"
Natasha saw Du Mu staring at the ceiling and was somewhat confused.
"I'm looking at the subtitles."
Du Mu took a sip of wine, his face displaying an expression of having discovered a new world. "I didn't expect Tony's father to be one of our S.H.I.E.L.D. founders. That's eight-level classified intelligence. Did you know about this?"
Natasha: "..."
I'm only a Level Seven agent. I know nothing and heard nothing.