-"Are you related to layla ?"
-"Yeah ."
The crematorium workers got this weird empathetical look trying to decipher who i was and gripped the discharge paper tightly before giving it to me and gently guided me to another room where eventually another worker would give me a little jar with what's left of "mother" .
I promptly left the place after slipping her in my backpack to go in the little alley where i parked my bike . I put my backpack in front of me and rode for half an hour through the old Cairo to get back to my apartment , the city was filled with wires going up electrical towers and destroyed buildings all around
[Fuck the elevators still broken]
I thought as I reluctantly went up the stairs , the cheap liquor and rat piss aroma plaguing the stairway and corridor didn't burn my throat anymore. I reached The rusty old keys were going dull and the door wouldn't budge so after a series of body slams I finally entered my home .
[Dirty needles and empty ziploc bags laying on the floor , home sweet home i won't have to clean this anymore]
I reassured myself as I looked around the room looking for somewhere fit to put up "mother" . I ended up resting the jar on a relatively clean chair on our balcony. I usually slept there because the inside was filled with mother's friends and she told me i couldn't stay with them , Which is probably the most she looked out for me in my whole life.
I sat down next to her and gazed upon the sky. It was truly beautiful except for the buzzing beam of light coming out of the pyramid : the asche licht . It's fascinating truly , it's been 50 years and the government sent bataillons on end but no one ever came back , at first the government barricaded the entry but its actually been a replacement for the death penalty , people go into the light and disappear.
-"Well it's probably time"
I stared at the jar resting next to me and tried to force myself to shed even a single tear but a simple wave of numbness and indifference loomed over me . I gave up and gently opened the drawer to find my handgun . My fingers gripped the trigger and easily enough i led the cannon my head , stared into the void for a while and finally :
*Bang.*
Sharp was the sound that left the door and echoed throughout the corridor, oddly enough it was common for a downtown district like this , but this time an almost asphyxiant silence settled in after the first shot , broken only by the sudden exhalation I let out as I was watching the beam of light pulsing and shifting shades of gold , so distracting i let my arms down and inadvertently fired a shot at the floor next to my foot . But for a reason or another the constant asche light looked wrong at this instant.
[I dont wanna die in a dump ]
I don't know what came onto me but I took out my old leather jacket and keffieh then rode for a day to the sites . Paused along at gas stations and thought deeply about my life , no friends nor girlfriend, an engineering degree I got after my 3 years of army and 10 bucks were all I had to my name . Didn't leave any marks on earth and no one to mourn me , but I refuse to end up dead in a shitty apartment whatever was after asche licht will be better than what i have now . 14 hours later I finally arrived at the pyramids. There were still some remnants of a military base but a simple wrench did the trick for smashing the locks .
They truly looked giant from their base and the beam only gave them more of a mystical appearance , i glanced at the potential way for getting in and started climbing up , it was unsettling to say the least but for a reason or another pulling myself rock after rock , the coarse and elder minerals scraping against my palms made me feel more alive than anything i did for the past decade .
The hot wind pulled me side to side and I almost fell countless times but used all my might and soul , padded my hands with my keffieh to shield my palms after they have became sore and gritted my teeth when the razor sharp sandwind opened wounds on my forearms but after hours of restlessness i successfully attained a level near the top .
But I started thinking of why was i doing this , i would surely disappear and not leave any trace but as i looked upon the mesmerising hues i got a resolve that made me go higher and so i did until i reached the start of the light without touching it , from the top of the monument I looked down upon the city , but no regrets seeped into my heart , all i had was a glimpse of a hope I wasn't doing something stupid but this was maybe all i needed really .
After some thought I took a deep breath let the sand run throughout my skin. The light felt right , like being in a loving embrace. I just wanted to feel something this world couldn't give me , so I'll take by force. I closed my eyes, extended my arms and promptly leaped into it .