A week later, Saitama experienced something truly terrifying: Boredom.
Not the crushing, existential "nothing challenges me" boredom. This was different. This was the "I have finished all my chores and it's only 11 AM" boredom.
The S-Class were busy. Genos was attending a Cyborg Sensitivity Training seminar (mandated by Fubuki). Fubuki was at a meeting to rename the "Saitama Group" to something less proprietary (current leader: "The Apex Coalition"). King was at a video game tournament.
Saitama stood in his living room. The apartment was clean. The fridge was full.
"Well," Saitama said to his cactus. "Guess I'll go patrol."
***
Patrolling as Rank 1 was weird.
People didn't scream when they saw him. They bowed. They offered him free takoyaki. They asked him to bless their babies.
"Please, Great One," a mother thrust her crying infant at him. "Just one head pat! For intelligence!"
Saitama patted the baby awkwardly. "Uh. Stay in school?"
The baby stopped crying. The crowd applauded.
"I liked it better when they called me a fraud," Saitama mumbled, walking away with a bag of free squid balls.
He reached the outskirts of City Z. The Ghost Town. It was being rebuilt, but there were still ruins. It was quiet here.
He sat on a pile of rubble, eating a squid ball.
*Thump.*
A vibration in the ground.
Saitama stopped chewing.
A monster crawled out from under a collapsed building. It wasn't big. Maybe wolf level. It looked like a walking mushroom with teeth.
**FUNGOID. THREAT LEVEL: WOLF.**
"I smell... snacks!" the monster squeaked. It saw Saitama. It saw the squid balls. "Give me the balls!"
It lunged.
Saitama just looked at it. He didn't feel the need to punch it into orbit. He didn't need a serious move.
He just stood up and held the bag out of reach.
"No," Saitama said.
The mushroom jumped, snapping its jaws. "Give it! Give it!"
"Get your own."
"Please?" the monster stopped jumping. "I haven't eaten since the Roots took over."
Saitama sighed. He looked at the monster. It was pathetic.
He skewered a squid ball and held it out. "One ball. Then you leave town. Go to the forest. Be a normal mushroom."
The monster took the ball. It ate it. It cried. "Thank you, shiny man!"
It scurried away into the drain.
Saitama sat back down. He smiled. Not a big grin. Just a little smirk.
"I scared a mushroom," he said. "Still got it."
***
That evening, the apartment was full again.
Genos returned, ranting about how the seminar instructor had a subpar chassis. Fubuki returned, exhausted but victorious (she trademarked Saitama's bald head shine). King returned with a trophy.
They ordered pizza.
They sat around the TV, watching a bad action movie.
Saitama looked around the room.
Genos was analyzing the movie's plot holes.
"Physics violation at 34:00. Cars do not explode upon contact with feathers."
Fubuki was arguing with King about who would win in a fight: Godzilla or a giant psychic toddler.
Garou (who apparently lived on the roof now) crawled in through the window to steal a slice of pepperoni.
Bang and Bomb dropped by to drop off some fancy tea and complain about their backs.
It was noisy. It was crowded. It was a mess.
Saitama leaned back on the sofa. He felt a weight on his shoulder. Fubuki had fallen asleep again.
He took a sip of tea.
"You know," Saitama said quietly, to no one in particular.
The room quieted down. Everyone looked at him. Was he going to declare a new training regimen? Announce a new threat? Reveal the meaning of life?
Saitama looked at his hand. He clenched it into a fist. Then he opened it.
"This pizza needs more cheese," Saitama said.
Everyone groaned.
"Unbelievable," Tatsumaki huffed from the corner.
"I can deploy a tactical cheese supplement," Genos offered.
"Please do," Saitama nodded.
He closed his eyes, listening to the bickering of the strongest people on Earth.
His fist was strong. The strongest.
But for the first time, he realized something.
His hand wasn't just for punching. It was for holding a controller. For eating pizza. For patting a disciple's head. For holding a girl's hand.
Saitama, the One Punch Man, opened his eyes.
He picked up a slice.
"Let's eat."