The sea surrounding the Land of Lightning lived up to its name.
The sky was a permanent, bruising shade of violet, roiling with clouds that looked like clenched fists. Every few seconds, a jagged spear of lightning would stab the ocean, sending up plumes of steam and hissing ozone.
"It's energetic weather!" Dr. Bushy Brow shouted from the deck of our stolen sloop, which we had christened The Red Potato.
(The name was chosen because the Jolly Roger the Doctor had sewn looked less like a terrifying skull and more like a lumpy root vegetable with crossbones. I loved it. Zabuza refused to look at it.)
"It's suicide," Zabuza corrected, gripping the railing as the ship heaved over a massive swell. "The currents here are treacherous. And we are sailing straight into the territory of Kumogakure. They don't take prisoners, Captain. They execute trespassers."
"You worry too much," I said, sitting on a barrel of apples, polishing Gryphon with a rag. "We're just visiting. I want to see the mountains."
"The mountains where the ninja live," Zabuza deadpanned.
"Exactly! I hear the Raikage is a big guy. Like, huge. I wanna measure his biceps."
Zabuza stared at me. "You want to sail into a militarized nation to measure the leader's arms?"
"It's a pirate thing," I winked.
"CAPTAIN!" Dr. Bushy Brow pointed ahead. "LAND HO! AND IT IS SPARKLING!"
Ahead of us, jagged cliffs rose out of the churning sea. Atop the cliffs, far in the distance, peaks pierced the cloud layer. But down at sea level, a heavily fortified port sat nestled in a cove. Massive cannons pointed out to sea. The symbol of the Cloud—stylized clouds—was painted on every wall.
"Port Storm," Zabuza identified it. "The southern gate to the Land of Lightning."
I stood up and stretched. "Alright, boys. Look presentable. Doc, stop doing handstands. Zabuza, try to look less like a murderer."
"I am a murderer."
"Look like a retired murderer. Let's go say hi."
Kumogakure: The Raikage's Office
High above the clouds, in a building that scraped the stratosphere, a desk was being abused.
"BORING!"
SMASH.
The Fourth Raikage, A, slammed a stack of paperwork so hard the wood splintered. He was a mountain of a man, rippling with muscle, wearing his Kage robes loosely over his massive frame.
"Lord Raikage," his assistant, Mabui, sighed, clutching a new stack of papers. "Please stop breaking the furniture. The budget is already tight."
"I need action, Mabui!" A roared, standing up. "The Akatsuki are quiet. The Leaf is building bridges. The Rock is sleeping. Where is the conflict?! Where is the passion?!"
The door to the office opened. Darui, the Raikage's right-hand man, walked in, looking as lethargic as ever.
"Boss," Darui drawled. "We got a weird report from the southern coast. Port Storm."
"Invaders?" A asked hopefully. "Iwa sneaking in?"
"Nah," Darui scratched his neck. "A ship. Small sloop. Flying a flag that looks like... a potato?"
"A potato?" A blinked.
"Yeah. But the crew is the interesting part. It's a three-man crew. One is Zabuza Momochi, the Demon of the Mist."
A snorted. "Zabuza? He's a stray dog. Why should I care?"
"Because," Darui continued, glancing at a scroll. "He's apparently taking orders from a civilian. A red-haired man with one arm."
The Raikage paused. "One arm?"
"Intel from our spies in the Land of Iron just came in," Darui said. "Says a one-armed man matching that description stole a ship and knocked out twenty Samurai. But get this... the spies say he didn't use chakra."
"No chakra?" A frowned. "Taijutsu?"
"Better," Darui said. "They say he cut a tsunami of ice in half with air pressure. And... reports from the Leaf suggest he might be the one who took down Gato's mercenary army in the Land of Waves. Three hundred men, boss. Knocked out instantly without being touched."
The Raikage's eyes, usually narrowed in aggression, went wide. A grin slowly spread across his face. It was a predatory, ecstatic grin.
"No chakra..." A mused. "Pure physical dominance? A man who can command the Demon of the Mist and knock out armies with just his presence?"
He flexed his arm. His bicep swelled, tearing the sleeve of his robe.
"Finally!" A roared. "A CHALLENGE!"
"Boss, wait," Darui tried to interject. "We should send a team to assess—"
"ASSESS?!" A shouted. "I'm going to greet him personally! If a man like that steps on my soil, I want to look him in the eye! I want to see if his muscles are real or if the rumors are lies!"
Blue lightning began to crackle around the Raikage's body. His Lightning Release Chakra Mode flared to life. His hair stood on end.
"Mabui! Clear my schedule!"
"Lord Raikage, the window!" Mabui warned.
"I don't use doors!"
CRASH.
The Fourth Raikage smashed through the reinforced glass of his office window, plummeting thousands of feet toward the ground below, trailing a streak of blue lightning like a meteor.
"He's gone," Darui sighed. "Suppose I better follow him."
Port Storm Docks
We docked The Red Potato surprisingly smoothly, mostly because the port guards were too confused to fire the cannons. They saw a lumpy flag and a small boat and assumed we were lost fishermen.
Until Zabuza stepped off.
"That's Zabuza Momochi!" a guard shouted from a watchtower. "Alert the garrison! Level One threat!"
Sirens began to wail. Dozens of Kumogakure ninja—dark-skinned, muscular, and carrying swords—swarmed the docks. They formed a semicircle around our gangplank.
"Welcome to the Land of Lightning!" I shouted, walking down the plank with a bottle of Iron Country sake in my hand. "Lovely weather you have! Very spicy!"
A Jounin captain stepped forward. He had white hair and a sword strapped to his back.
"Identify yourself!" the captain barked. "You are harboring a known S-Rank criminal. Surrender immediately or be destroyed."
"I'm Shanks," I said. "And I'd prefer not to be destroyed. It ruins the afternoon."
"Fire Style: Flame Bullet!" one of the nervous Chunin in the back shouted, panic firing a jutsu.
A fireball roared toward me.
"I got it!" Dr. Bushy Brow yelled. He leaped from the deck, spinning in the air. "LEAF WHIRLWIND!"
His leg created a vortex of wind that scattered the fire harmlessly. He landed in a pose. "Violence is not the answer! But self-defense is Youthful!"
The Kumo ninjas tensed.
"Hold your fire," the Captain ordered, eyeing the Doctor. "That speed... purely physical?"
"Look," I said, stepping onto the stone dock. "I just want to restock supplies. Maybe get some of those famous cloud-burgers I've heard about."
"There are no cloud-burgers," the Captain said confusedly. "We are taking you into custody."
He signaled. Fifty ninja drew their weapons.
I sighed. "Why does every country try to arrest me? It's hurtful, really."
I took a step forward. I didn't use Conqueror's Haki. I didn't want to knock them all out; that would be rude for a first visit. I just let a little bit of my presence leak out.
The air grew heavy. The seagulls stopped screaming. The waves seemed to quiet down.
The Kumo ninjas flinched. They felt it—the primal instinct that told them they were standing in front of a T-Rex.
"Let us pass," I said softly.
The Captain was sweating. He wanted to attack, but his body refused to move.
Suddenly, a sound tore through the air.
BOOM... BOOM... BOOM.
It sounded like thunder, but it was rhythmic. And it was getting closer. Fast.
The ground began to shake.
"What is that?" Zabuza asked, looking inland.
A blue streak of light appeared on the horizon. It zig-zagged down the cliffs, tearing up trees and rocks in its wake. It was moving at blinding speed.
"It's the Boss!" one of the Kumo ninja shouted, relief and terror mixing in his voice. "Lord Raikage is here!"
The blue streak hit the docks.
KABOOOOOM.
Dust and stone exploded outward. The shockwave knocked half the Kumo ninja off their feet.
When the dust settled, a crater stood between me and the garrison.
Standing in the center of the crater was a giant. He was shirtless (apparently, clothes were optional for high-level fighters in this world), with bronze skin and muscles that looked like they were carved from granite. Lightning crackled violently around his body.
He stood up straight, his eyes scanning the scene.
He looked at Zabuza. Dismissed him.
He looked at the Doctor. Raised an eyebrow, but dismissed him.
He looked at me.
He grinned.
"So!" The Raikage's voice was like a thunderclap. "You're the Red Hair!"
I looked up at him. He was huge. Taller than me, wider than me. He radiated power. Pure, unadulterated strength.
"And you must be the Raikage," I smiled, not flinching at the lightning arcing near my face. "Nice entrance. A bit messy, though."
"I heard rumors!" A shouted, stepping out of the crater. "They say you cut the sea! They say you have no chakra! They say you knocked out an army with a look!"
He walked right up to me. He was dangerously close. The static from his aura made my hair stand on end.
"Are the rumors true, Red Hair?" A demanded.
I took a sip of my sake. "People talk. I just like to sail."
"Hah!" A laughed. "A humble monster! I hate humility!"
He held out his hand. It wasn't a handshake. It was a challenge. He held his arm up, elbow bent, ready for a test of strength.
"Prove it!" A roared. "If you want to dock in my country, you have to pay the toll! Let's see if that one arm of yours is just for show!"
Zabuza reached for his sword. "Captain, he's fully charged with Lightning Armor. If you touch him, you'll be electrocuted."
"It's fine, Zabuza," I said, handing the bottle to the Doctor.
I looked at the Raikage's hand. Then I looked at his eyes. He wasn't trying to kill me. He was just... incredibly bored and looking for a playmate.
"You want to test me?" I asked.
"I want to crush you!" A grinned.
"Alright."
I rolled up my sleeve. My single arm was muscular, scarred, and tanned. Compared to the Raikage's arm, which was encased in crackling blue chakra, it looked normal.
I stepped forward and locked hands with the Raikage.
His grip was like a vice. The lightning sizzled against my skin.
"Start!" the Raikage yelled.
He pushed.
The ground beneath our feet cracked. The stone dock fractured in a spiderweb pattern for twenty feet.
The Kumo ninjas gasped. They expected my arm to snap. They expected me to be fried.
But I didn't move.
I coated my arm in Armament Haki. Invisible to the naked eye, but hard as diamond. The lightning danced over my skin but couldn't penetrate the Haki barrier.
I held his push. I met his force with equal force.
The Raikage's eyes went wide. "What?! No chakra?! You're blocking my strength with raw muscle?!"
"Not just muscle," I gritted out, smiling through the strain. "Guts."
"GUTS!" A roared, delighted. "YES! MORE!"
He flared his chakra. The lightning turned blindingly bright. He pushed harder. The dock began to sink into the ocean.
I pushed back.
For a moment, we were stalemated. The Emperor of the Sea and the Ruler of the Clouds.
"You're strong!" A laughed maniacally. "I haven't felt grip strength like this since I fought the Eight Tails!"
"You're not bad yourself, Sparky!" I laughed back.
With a sudden twist of my hips, I surged my power.
SLAM.
I didn't pin him, but I forced his arm back a good six inches.
The Raikage's eyes were shining. He let go of my hand and stepped back.
"GUAHAHAHA!" He threw his head back and laughed at the sky. "Excellent! Magnificent! You are the real deal!"
He slapped me on the back. It felt like being hit by a truck, but I stood my ground.
"Welcome to the Land of Lightning, Shanks!" A declared loudly. "Any man who can arm wrestle me without dying is a guest of honor!"
He turned to his bewildered troops.
"What are you idiots standing around for?! Get this man some cloud-burgers! And bring the good sake! The stuff we save for funerals!"
He looked back at me.
"We have much to discuss, Pirate. I want to know how a man gets that strong without a drop of magic in his veins."
I rubbed my hand, which was still tingling from the electricity.
"Sure thing, Raikage," I said. "But first... do you guys have any giant squids nearby? My cook wants to make calamari."
The Raikage blinked. Then he grinned again.
"We have a giant octopus," A said, referring to his brother, Killer B. "But he might rap at you instead of letting you eat him."
"Even better," I said.
I looked at Zabuza and the Doctor. Zabuza looked like he was having a stroke from the stress. The Doctor was furiously taking notes on the Raikage's muscle definition.
"Come on, crew," I waved. "We're going to a party."
As we walked into the village, escorted by the Raikage himself, I knew one thing for sure: This world was definitely getting more interesting by the minute.