The "Cloud-Burgers" were, in fact, just hamburgers, but the buns were remarkably fluffy.
"Delicious!" I proclaimed, sitting cross-legged on a massive tatami mat in the Raikage's private training dojo. "It's like eating a meat pillow!"
"GUAHAHA!" The Raikage roared, downing a barrel of sake as if it were a shot glass. "We Kumogakure warriors need density! Carbs for the body! Lightning for the soul!"
We were high up in the mountains, on a plateau known as the "Thunder Bowl." It was a flat expanse of rock surrounded by electrified pillars. Zabuza sat nervously to my left, eating his burger with a knife and fork (weirdo). The Doctor was currently doing one-finger pushups while eating, which was a choking hazard I chose to ignore.
"So, Shanks," the Raikage wiped his mouth. "You have strength. You have guts. But can you handle... the rhythm?"
"The rhythm?" I blinked.
Suddenly, the heavy iron doors of the training grounds were kicked open.
"YO! YO! Check it out, check it out!"
A man danced into the arena. He wore dark sunglasses, a white scarf, and carried seven sword hilts protruding from various impossible places on his body. He was dark-skinned like the Raikage, with a tattoo of bull horns on his cheek.
He spun on his head, landed in a pose, and pointed at me.
"You the one-armed bandit? The red-haired star? / Came to fight the Raikage, traveled from afar! / I'm the Hachibi Jinchuriki, the Killer B! / Float like a butterfly, sting like a... BEE! YEAH!"
Silence followed.
Zabuza stopped chewing. "Is he... rapping?"
"Badly," I noted, grinning. "I love him."
The Raikage sighed, massaging his temples. "B! Behave! This is a guest!"
"A guest who passed the test!" Killer B shimmied over to me. "I heard you matched the Boss in a grip-off. That's top tier! But can you handle the Eight-Sword Gear?"
He leaned into my face.
"Fight me, bro! Let's see the flow! / Don't say no, or you're a hoe! ...wait, that rhyme was weak."
I laughed, wiping burger crumbs off my shirt. I stood up, grabbing Gryphon.
"A spar?" I asked. "I just ate. Cramps are a real danger, you know."
"Don't worry!" B pulled out a notebook. "If you win, I'll put you in my next single. If I win, you teach me how to look cool with one arm."
"Deal."
I walked to the center of the arena. The Raikage leaned forward, his eyes sharp. He wanted to see this. He wanted to see if my power was a fluke.
"Seven swords vs one," B said, adopting a bizarre stance. He held swords in his hands, his armpits, his mouth, his neck, and... somewhere behind his knee. It looked ridiculous.
"Acrobat style," I observed. "Interesting."
"Let's GO!"
B charged.
It wasn't like fighting a swordsman. It was like fighting a buzzsaw. He spun, flipped, and rolled. The blades came from everywhere at once—high, low, diagonal, behind the back. It was chaos incarnate.
But chaos is just a pattern you haven't figured out yet.
Observation Haki.
I saw the red trails of his intent.
Left armpit blade. Right knee blade. Mouth blade thrust.
I didn't move my feet. I stood planted. I used Gryphon with minimum motion.
Cling. Clang. Ting.
I parried the mouth blade with the flat of my sword. I ducked the armpit blade. I swayed back to avoid the knee blade.
B was a whirlwind of steel. I was the eye of the storm.
"Whoa!" B backed off, panting slightly. "You read my moves! You got the grooves! / Like a ghost in the machine, the cleanest I've seen!"
"You're tricky," I complimented him. "Most people focus on the hands. You fight with your whole body. It's unpredictable."
"But not enough!" B grinned. "Let's crank up the volume!"
He channeled lightning chakra through his blades. They hummed with high-frequency vibration. Super Vibrato Lightning Release Swords.
"Sharp," I noted. "Those could cut steel."
"They cut through anything, fool! Ya fool!"
He attacked again. Faster. Much faster.
I had to coat Gryphon in Armament Haki. The black blade met the lightning blades. Sparks flew—red Haki lightning mixing with blue Chakra lightning.
The clash sent shockwaves rippling through the arena. Zabuza had to shield his eyes.
I pushed B back with a burst of strength. He skid across the stone, smoking slightly.
"Okay," B said, dropping the swords. "Base form ain't cutting the mustard. You're a Yonko-level threat, I heard that word! Time to bring out the Big Turd! ...No, wait, Big Bird? No... THE BEAST!"
The Raikage stood up. "B! Do not lose control!"
"Chill, Bro! Me and Eight-O are tight! We're gonna show this Redhead the true light!"
Killer B crouched. Red, bubbling chakra began to leak from his skin. It was dense, heavy, and malicious. It formed a cloak around him. One tail. Two tails. Three tails.
"Tailed Beast Chakra," Zabuza whispered, terrified. "That's the Eight-Tails."
"So that's a Bijuu," I murmured, watching with genuine curiosity. "Feels... angry. Like a sea king with a grudge."
B grinned, his teeth looking feral. The chakra bubbled up to Seven Tails. He was about to enter the full transformation—the massive ox-octopus hybrid.
"GYUKI! LET'S GO FULL BEAST MODE!" B shouted internally and externally. "TRANSFORM!"
The chakra exploded outward... and then stopped.
Suddenly, the red bubbles popped. The chakra receded. It didn't just fade; it was yanked back inside B's body violently.
B stood there, confused, back in his normal human form.
"Uh?" B looked at his hands. "Gyuki? Partner? What's the deal? / Why did you stop the wheel?"
We all waited.
B's eyes went wide behind his sunglasses. He was having a conversation in his head.
Inside B's Mindscape
Killer B stood in front of the massive Eight-Tails, Gyuki. Usually, the giant octopus-ox was calm, or at least grumpy.
Now, Gyuki was huddled in the corner of his water cage, his tentacles wrapped around himself. He was trembling.
"Yo, Eight-O!" B shouted. "We look stupid out there! Give me the juice!"
"NO," Gyuki rumbled. His voice wasn't angry. It was terrified.
"No? What do you mean No? We gotta show him the flow!"
"DO NOT ENGAGE," Gyuki bellowed. "That man... B, you are a fool. You cannot sense it?"
"Sense what?"
"The predator," Gyuki hissed. "He is not a ninja. He is not a human. He is... an Apex."
Gyuki peeked one eye open, looking through B's vision at Shanks, who was standing calmly with his sword resting on his shoulder.
"I have lived for centuries," Gyuki said. "I have fought the Ten Tails. I have fought Madara Uchiha. But that man... his Will... it is the ocean itself. If I come out... if I expose my soul to him..."
The giant beast shuddered.
"He will tame me. Not with Genjutsu. Not with chains. He will make me heel like a common dog just by looking at me. I refuse! I will not go out there! Keep me inside! HIDE ME!"
Back in the Arena
Killer B blinked, returning to reality.
"You... you're scared?" B whispered aloud. "Of the Redhead?"
"Everything okay over there?" I called out. "Did you cramp up?"
B looked at me. He looked at the sweat pouring down his face—sweat that wasn't his, but the residual fear of his Tailed Beast.
"Yo..." B swallowed. "Uh... technical difficulties. My partner... he's got stage fright."
"Stage fright?" The Raikage roared. "GYUKI HAS STAGE FRIGHT?! HE'S A DISASTER OF NATURE!"
"He says..." B pointed at me. "He says that guy is the Ocean Predator. He says if he comes out, he's gonna get 'tamed'. He's hiding in the basement, locked the door, turned out the lights."
Silence descended on the Thunder Bowl.
Zabuza looked at me with renewed horror. "You terrified a Tailed Beast? Without even doing anything?"
"I didn't do anything!" I protested, raising my hands. "I was just waiting! I like octopuses! They're tasty!"
"THAT'S PROBABLY WHY!" B shouted. "HE THINKS YOU'RE GONNA EAT HIM!"
The Raikage stared at me. He looked at his brother, who was usually fearless, now shaking because the monster inside him was cowering.
A slow, incredulous laugh built up in the Raikage's chest.
"BWAHAHAHA!" A slapped his knee. "Unbelievable! The Eight-Tails, cowering before a man with no chakra! Shanks! You are absurd!"
I scratched the back of my head. "I guess I have that effect on sea creatures. Sorry, B. Tell your friend I promise not to grill him."
B listened to his inner voice for a second.
"He says you're lying. He says you smell like soy sauce and barbecue."
"Okay, fair," I admitted. "I did have takoyaki last week."
"Well," B sheathed his seven swords. "I can't fight without the battery. You win by default. / It's not my fault! / The beast is a chicken, the plot does thicken!"
He walked over and offered me a fist bump.
"You're real strong, Red. Respect."
I bumped his fist. "You too, Bee. You got a weird style. I like it."
"So," The Raikage stepped down from his viewing platform. "Since the spar is ruined by my cowardly pet... let's get back to the drinking!"
"Now you're speaking my language!" I cheered.
"Wait," Dr. Bushy Brow interrupted. He was holding a stethoscope to B's chest. "Fascinating! The heart rate of the host is stable, but the chakra pulse is erratic! It mimics the symptoms of extreme anxiety! I must prescribe a calming tea made from the roots of the Thunder Flower!"
B looked at the Doctor. "Who is this green bean?"
"My ship's doctor," I said. "He's harmless. mostly."
As we walked back toward the feast, Zabuza lingered behind, looking at me.
"Captain," Zabuza whispered.
"Yeah?"
"First the Sea King ran away from our ship. Now the Eight-Tails refuses to fight you."
Zabuza paused.
"Are you sure you're human?"
I laughed, clapping him on the shoulder with enough force to rattle his teeth.
"I'm just a pirate, Zabuza! Just a pirate."
But as I looked at the violet sky, I felt the Haki humming in my veins. The Tailed Beast had sensed it. The Conqueror.
In this world of ninjas and chakra monsters, it seemed Willpower was still the strongest weapon of all.
And I was the only one who knew how to wield it.
"Hey Raikage!" I shouted. "Does this village have any music? B's rapping is making my ears bleed, I need a palate cleanser!"
"WHAT?! YOU DISS MY DIS?!" B yelled.
"Let's get a party started!"
And so, the Emperor of the Sea partied with the Lords of Lightning, while a terrified octopus hid deep within the subconscious of a rapper, praying the red-haired man would leave soon.