They were brief moments—sharp, blinding, like lightning.
A single instant in which Nerys begged that man to spare her life, only to receive nothing in return but a cold, grey stare and a mercilessly flat sentence:
"How pathetic."
The dagger slid across her throat.
She collapsed to the floor, blood pooling beneath her on the carpet of her father's office… the same father who had been killed just moments earlier by the very same man.
She saw him wipe his blade on her dress with chilling indifference.
And the last thing her fading eyes captured was the gleam in his—those grey eyes flashing with a beast-like cruelty, glowing the way a cat's eyes do in the dark.
Then everything went black.
And that was how Nerys von Holsten died, along with her father, Marquis Sidric Holsten.
Darkness swallowed everything.
***
It was mid-autumn.
Cold enough to remind her that the warmth of summer was now nothing but a memory.
She pulled the blanket tighter around her body as she turned in bed… but something felt different.
No pain.
She was used to moving slowly, carefully, afraid to trigger the sting of the bruises her wretched husband left on her body every night.
He never rested unless he unleashed his violence on her.
Her eyes opened. She blinked, looking around.
Sunlight poured into the room, and everything looked familiar… yet somehow strange.
What is this? Why don't I feel pain? And why did I dream of a strange man killing me…?
She sat up, scoffing to herself.
"What a miserable life, Nerys… a father who doesn't care, a cruel husband, and now a nightmare of being slaughtered by some war monster."
But then she froze.
This wasn't her marital bedroom.
It was her old room in the Marquis' estate.
Her body stiffened.
She rushed toward the mirror.
And then came the shock.
She was a child. A twelve-year-old child.
Her hands trembled as she touched her cheeks, her hair, her small features.
"Impossible… Did I come back? Is this a dream?"
She spun around the room, stepped onto the balcony, returned again.
Everything was the same—exactly as it had been.
"Oh God… I missed these days. If this is a dream… I hope it never ends."
The maid, Mary, entered with her usual gentle smile.
"Good morning, young lady. You woke up early today."
Nerys shivered.
"Mary…? You're here too…"
"Where else would I be? We need to get you ready for breakfast before the marquis gets upset."
Nerys followed her in a daze.
This dream felt real… too real.
She decided not to think.
If she was a child again on a morning like this, then a short walk under the gentle sunlight was more than enough.
At the breakfast table, she sat among the family that hadn't changed—only their faces were younger.
Her father looked much younger. Her siblings were still children.
Even the knot in her stomach while eating hadn't disappeared—
the same discomfort she carried all her life because of her father's strict table manners.
She looked toward her half-sister, Cecile… with her artificial smile, her artificial brilliance, her beauty praised wherever she went.
And she remembered the truth no one else knew:
Cecile had stolen everything.
Everything Nerys worked hard for, Cecile claimed as her own.
Everyone saw Cecile as the perfect noble girl, admired by all young ladies.
And Nerys?
Just Cecile's shadow.
Even so, she clung to Cecile as a child yearning for the smallest hint of affection.
She had always been the unwanted one in this family.
Cecile and Erick were the children of the marquis' first wife, who died of illness.
The marquis had then married another noblewoman—of a weak household—who became Nerys' mother, only to die after childbirth.
Then he married again, producing her youngest half-brother, Leon, now six.
In this family, Cecile had Erick—the future marquis.
Leon had his mother.
And they all had their father.
Only Nerys had no one.
She never minded Cecile stealing her efforts. She even allowed it willingly, as long as Cecile would love her… call her, "My dear sister, you're amazing."
She tried to buy Cecile's love with her hard work.
She had truly believed she'd finally found someone on her side.
But she whispered bitterly to herself:
"I spent my whole life chasing after their love—Father, Cecile, Leon, Erick… I just wanted someone to love me."
Cecile interrupted her with a sweet smile.
"Oh, sister, are you alright? You look pale."
Nerys returned the smile, recognizing the practiced, false sweetness behind it.
"I'm fine."
If she hadn't been betrayed so deeply, she would have fallen for that smile forever.
After breakfast, Nerys went out to the garden.
She sat under the warm sunlight, Mary standing behind her.
The sky was a brilliant blue, dotted with occasional clouds.
The autumn-colored trees swayed gently, and the silence wrapped around her—just as she had always wished.
"Look at yourself, Nerys… a child running after a sister who used you… content to live as her shadow."
She tilted her head back, gazing at the sky.
"If this is a dream before death… then it's the most beautiful dream I've ever had. I never lived moments like this."
Her fingers brushed her neck—
it suddenly ached,
reminding her of how she died.
She laughed bitterly.
"Even my death was insignificant… That man was about to leave, but the moment I entered my father's office, he killed me. It was as if I stepped in at the wrong time. Then he wiped his blade on my dress as if I meant nothing."
She thought of the reason behind her and her father's deaths.
"In the end, Father's greed caused our deaths. I'm certain he played a role in imprisoning that man in the past."
Mary noticed her mumbling.
"Young lady, are you alright?"
Nerys offered a rare gentle smile.
"I'm fine, Mary… My greatest wish has come true."
She whispered toward the sky:
"I can finally die peacefully… It's over. I won't live in pain again."
She spent the rest of the day as she wished.
Ignored everyone.
Talked to Mary more than she ever had in her life.
And when the maid tucked her into bed, Nerys realized something:
Mary had been the only one by her side the entire day.
In her previous life, she had been the only person who ever answered her honestly—
not even her miserable husband had done that.
Nerys held Mary's hand.
"Thank you, Mary… You were always by my side. Maybe I'm living this dream now because I truly wanted to give you a proper goodbye… and I'm grateful for every moment we spent together."
Mary's eyes welled with tears.
"Young lady, why are you talking like that? You're not going anywhere. I'll stay with you forever, so push those thoughts away. Let's think of something nice to do tomorrow."
But Nerys only smiled.
She was ready to die.
After all, that had been her wish—after every night of her husband's abuse.
Her eyes glistened as she looked at Mary and thought:
I won't wake up tomorrow, Mary.