I then answered with a question of, " how can pain help love to merge?, and how can something which is so dark and cruel inflict light at the end, how do you expect me to believe that letting pain own you is the only way you can allow yourself to truly love with no regrets?, its both inconceivable and reckless to think that pain is the root of love, how does that on is that on its own going to convince me to love and hate love at the same time?"
He simply looked at me with a little smile on his face, he said, " Son not everything has to make sense, not everything will be black and blue, and if I try to explain this to you right now it will not make sense. Son opposite things will always attract each other, it's the law of nature. The mind is very weird and unexplainable, piece of work. Understanding it will never be something you can do. Remember that it wasn't my intention to lie to you, I'm sorry that I can't explain why I took that unfair decision… "
As much as I tried to squint my eyes trying to understand his statements, it didn't make any sense at all. It wasn't something which any kid could comprehend as much as an adult would. We stared at each other for hours after that. I was looking to get more information out of him, but I guess he was taking his last look at me before he did the unspeakable.
I looked at him as he explained how he was going to look after me forever, it didn't make sense to me cause he wasn't going to be around until the ends of time, but his determination made me believe his words non the less. He had the look in his eyes, it looked as if he could go to the ends of the world just to look after me. He had love in his eyes, it was very beautiful him at that state. He was the uncle I had missed for a very long time.
As I think back now everything he said makes sense now, he was telling me about what he wanted to do in the afterlife he was going too. It wasn't fair that he didn't want to tell me that he was leaving me alone in this world. It would have been better if he had explained himself to me. But then me dwelling on the past wouldn't bring back my uncle it would turn back time for me to stop him from committing suicide. He chose his path at the end, and he believed it was his best choice, no person has the reason to doubt that, we all don't know the full story.
I managed to gather all his clothes into two suitcases, in the neatest way possible of course. I started to make my way back to the lounges. When I took the stairs going down I tripped on my own feet and fell flat on my face. It was actually a quite hilarious experience but the pain which I was on as I had bashed my stomach to the ground and my face hadn't had the least pain. But still my sister couldn't help herself, she completely laughed at me, giggling so hard that she completely fell off the sofa and kept rolling on the floor until she started to get a soar throat.
Mother ran swiftly and took me off the stairs and sat me on the sofa, right then and there everybody cracked and laughed at me, as painful as it was for me I still couldn't help the feelings of content I had when noticing the how happy everyone was, I had not seen that in a very long time. I chose to suck it up and laughed with everyone. The atmosphere in the house was very calm. Everything seemed less heavy on our shoulders.
We gathered all his stuff, as we started to discuss what was to be done with it I noticed mother sobbing again. Aunt came to her aid a second after, she looked very worried. They whispered something to each other and thereafter aunt took her to uncles room. they both seemed very perturbed, it was very weird to see them in that state together rather than trying to make each other feel better. I took it upon myself to find out what the whole matter was about, I quickly made my way to uncles room, after giving three knocks on the door mother answered with, " come in Chris".
As sure as I was guilty I asked what the whole scene downstairs was all about, mommy looked at me and asked if I had touched uncle's chest, I agreed of course knowing fully well that I hadn't as yet seen what was in the containment, she continued with a , " And?", I looked at her with dismay as I really couldn't give her a straight answer, even I wasn't sure about the content that was in the chest exactly. She quickly looked down and told me to take it out. " I guess keeping it from you isn't necessary anymore", she said while opening it up.
There were two red socks inside, two baby red socks. Mothers eyes filled with tears, she said, " I'm sorry sweetheart, don't judge your uncle about this but, you remember that you once asked me why your eyes seemed a lot different than of mine and your sister's?", looking straight in her eyes I could tell that what she would tell me was going to break her heart more than it would mine. I answered her of course, with up most uncertainty and fear, I gave mommy a little, soft yes.