Hermione's Reaction to Ron "Knowing" the Stone's Secrets
Hermione was reading in the library when Ron burst in dramatically.
Ron:
"HERMIONE! I FOUND OUT EVERYTHING ABOUT THE PHILOSOPHER'S STONE!"
Hermione slowly lowered her book.
Hermione:
"…You? You discovered a magical mystery older than Hogwarts?"
Ron puffed out his chest.
Ron:
"Yes. Destiny chose me."
Hermione blinked twice.
Then a third time.
Hermione:
"Ron… you read your textbooks upside-down yesterday."
Ron waved her complaint away.
Ron:
"Genius happens unexpectedly."
Hermione stared at him like he had just claimed to invent gravity by accident.
Hermione:
"…What. Did. You. Touch."
Hogwarts Reacting to "Ron's Genius Discovery"
By noon, the news spread like wildfire.
And Hogwarts reacted accordingly:
Ravenclaw Table
Burst out laughing. Several students believed this was a prank. Terry Boot asked if the world was ending.
Hufflepuff Table
They applauded politely because they're nice… …then asked Keith if this was some kind of joke.
Keith sighed:
"Ron Weasley could trip over the truth and still miss it."
Slytherin Table
Draco was rolling on the floor. Pansy nearly broke her ribs laughing. Blaise asked if Ron swallowed a dictionary by mistake.
Teachers' Table
Flitwick hid behind a napkin, laughing again. Sprout shook her head like a disappointed mother. Snape muttered:
"If Weasley is now considered intelligent, I fear for the future." Dumbledore avoided eye contact with everyone.
Snape Confronts Keith
Keith was teaching Helena flying, showing her balance and control.
Helena wobbled in the air.
Keith:
"Keep your core steady! Relax your shoulders!"
Snape arrived with his classic "I have no patience for foolishness" walk.
Snape:
"Keith. A word."
Keith stopped Helena gently.
Keith:
"Continue practicing gliding, Helena."
Snape crossed his arms.
Snape:
"Why… did you tell Dumbledore to simplify the protections?
Lowering everything to the level of… infants?"
Keith shrugged.
Keith:
"Well, Ron reads books upside down, Neville forgets his shoes, and Seamus can explode soup."
Snape froze.
Then slowly pinched the bridge of his nose.
Snape:
"…Severus Snape has lived many years, but even I cannot argue with that logic."
Keith opened a cool can with a crack.
Keith:
"Lemon soda?"
Snape blinked.
He hesitated.
Then reluctantly took the can and sipped.
His eyes widened.
Snape:
"…This is… surprisingly pleasant."
Keith:
"Runcandel family product."
Helena flew down immediately.
Helena:
"Dad, I want one too!"
Keith handed her a can.
Snape sighed deeply.
Snape:
"I must leave before something else becomes absurd today."
Then he left, muttering about "Weasleys discovering great secrets."
Ron Bragging Like He Found Merlin's Underwear
Ron marched around the entire school like a conquering hero.
Ron:
"That's right! I solved the greatest mystery of the century!"
Student:
"How did you find it?"
Ron:
"I have a natural instinct for secrets!"
Keith walked past and muttered:
Keith:
"He found it because he can't read signs properly…"
But Ron continued, louder and louder.
Ron:
"Maybe I'm the next great wizard!
The Chosen One!
The Smartest Gryffindor!
The Finder of Philosopher's Stone!
The Discoverer of Merlin's Underwear!"
Students choked.
Hermione facepalmed so hard it echoed.
Draco laughed so hard he fell against a wall.
Even the Bloody Baron was shaking with ghostly snickers.