"you don't accept this outcome"
I don't. I say subconsciously.
Dad enters home, mom is sited on the couch watching the tv, she turns her head as she sees him she gets up and puts the food on the table.
Father leaves the bag against the wall near the wall, puts the shoes on shoe stand and sits on the dinner table.
Why are you not speaking? Flashes of them teasing each other, telling about each other day with me looking and listening to them while eating.
She puts a plate of meat with potatoes for her and dad.
Her eyes low all the time, she sits down and starts eating.
"What did you do?" I hear for the first time dad speak, his voice low.
"Usual, you?" She keeps down her head, while eating.
"Same" he picks the fork up and starts eating.
I don't want to be here. I clinch my fist, my nails against the palm of my hand. Just let me out of here.
The silence is interputed only by the fork occasionally eating the plate or the mouth moving.
I sit in the middle of them, like i used too.
I imagine what they would say "so Mark tomorrow do you want to go?" I ask him where, he smiles "where? To fix the car, you were the one to do it, did you forget?" Im slightly embarrassed, mom comes to my defence "it isn't his fault, you should have been more careful"
"I know love, but this time I don't think it someone fault, that car has had some problems all this time, i think you gave me the incentive to change it" he says to me, i smile and say "so i will able to use it whenever i wa-
"We have to get his stuff to charity" dad real voice interrups my imagination.
Mom looks up, her eyes wide "what?"
He looks her in the eyes, but for the first time i can see he is struggling to do that.
"We cannot keep everything there, it is better to give it to charity" is this... I look at my room, shiver run through my body.
"No" her voice firm.
"What do you mean no? We will have to do this, it is better to do it now, it will be more difficult as time goes on" he tries to keep his calm.
"No" she repeats.
"Laure, look at the reality, please" you never called her laure...
"Reality? I see the reality very well, and im telling you right now, no!" Her face showing emotion for the first time.
I try to become smaller, my gut on turmoil.
"You don't get to decide!" His fist clinched "you cannot keep going like this, look at what you are becoming" he says with disgust.
Stop, please.
She gets up. CLINCH. The fork falling on the floor.
"You think you are better? Always judging, just look at yourself and what you have are, do you really think you are so better than me?"
Please. I put my head between my arms. Don't fight, im here.
He looks away "think wherever you want, i will take his stuff and give it to charity, you just stay there keep feeding on your fantasy, while i do what is really needed"
"Oh yes, giving his stuff away will help, see yourself, you are just running away" her eyes swell "like always"
"What have you done to help? Eh?" His voice deep and angry.
"You were..." Her words blocking into her throat "you were the one that was supposed to protect and love us, but i... I hate it here"
Dad bits his lip but stays in silence, his eyes telling a story i cannot read.
Im alive... Im here... My mind drifting away.
She leaves the room, he stays there in silence.
Flashes appear infront of my eyes, im in the bathroom.
Why im here.
I turn around, mom is in the shower, a piece of metal on her hand. Wait...
"Im sorry Mark" her eyes too far gone, carrying the weight of the world.
"DON'T" i yell and jump forwards, everything turns black.
Bridge William appears in front of me. No it isn't him, his look is different.
My breath fast, my fingers moving uncontrollably. Please don't do it. "Where is she?" I ask in a daze.
"Do you accept this reality?" He asks with a smile.
"No I don't"
"But it is the reality, you did that" his smile still there.
"I DIDN'T" did i?... I grab my clothes. "I didn't do it, this is just a fantasy"
"This is much more, this is what happens when you don't care about other people, you are very cruel" he says touching his chin "destroying the life of those two nice people"
I don't have the energy to fight "please Bridge William, let me out"
"You didn't understand? Im not him, and there is no out" he stops for a second "if i choose not too, but i feel nice today" he snaps his fingers and mom appears infront of me.
Her eyes spark out, she reaches out her hand. The heat of her hand, the small injuries throughout the years are scared and visible on her hand, those familiar scars touch my hand.
"Mom?" I open my eyes looking directly at her. She smiles "i knew you were alive" i throw myself to her. Her smell of shampoo fills my nostril, i come back to when i was five and she would put me the cover on before sleeping "if you are scared to just call me" she would say.
"Im sorry mom, im sorry, i didn't want to worry you" her body embracing me, for the first time i can relax my body, every horror and problem washing away.
"Just come back home" she says crying. What?
I look up but fall to the ground. She disappeared.
"Where is she?" I touch on the black floor, hoping to find her.
Bridge William smiles again "i said im nice today, if you really want to go back home you can, i will bring you there, before what happened, you can continue your life like you always did" his smile accentuating "you can drive with your father, you can joke with your mother while you are in the couch, the tv on on the background, you can sleep in your bed knowing that they are in the other room, you can go out with your friends, laugh, love, cry again, but home"
My eyes lit up.
He looks at me in the eyes, for the first time serious "do you accept?"
"I acce-" 'remember one thing Tomh, don't ever accept' this pharae echos in my mind.
My face gets wet, drops of water fall on the ground, i put my face against the floor. Why did you have to do this to me? Why?
"So what you say" Bridge William says.
"I..." Can i really trust him? Maybe he lied because he didn't want me to go away from his world. I clinch my teeth and bleed on my mouth. Don't be stupid, you cannot get it back. My heart sink. I just wanted to get back.
"I don't accept"
"I will see you again Tomh and also, your core was already half open, so enjoy the reward" Bridge William says smiling.
A vortex surrounders the whole area. I look up and the Bridge William i know is infront of me, at my right is Symon, they are both looking at me, waiting.
My hand still reaching out, looking for her.