Lotus Pavilion by the lake side was the private territory of the emperor. That late morning, he stood by the lakeside watching the blooming white lotuses. His face was gloomy.
"Zhao Qing. How did he loose his core?" He asked in a cold voice.
General Zhao Xianyu stood behind him with a lowered head. But he didn't say anything.
"Zhen asked you something." Lóngxuan reminded in a cold voice.
Zhao Qing couldn't keep silent anymore. He gulped. "I... I shattered it."
Lóngxuan turned his freezing gaze towards his subject. "When did Zhen ask you to shatter it?"
"... ..."
"Zhen only asked you to bring him back."
Zhao Xianyu who kept silent for a long time, couldn't pretend to be deaf and blind anymore. He looked at Lóngxuan furiously. "Junshang. He was rebellious when we tried to capture him. I had no choice."
Lóngxuan's lips curled up into a frightening smile. "Zhao Qing. Had Zhen been too lenient on you? You even dare to lie to Zhen's face. How dare you."
"Junshang!"
"So you say what the personal spies of Zhen reported is fake? They said that General Liu surrendered the moment he saw our armies arriving?"
"... ..."
"Answer!"
Zhao Qing's eyes were slightly red. "Yes! He didn't fight. It was me who shattered it. He's a traitor. He betrayed his country. He deserves it."
Lóngxuan's eyes flashed. "And who do you think you are to decide that on your own? Is your emperor dead?" His voice drew dangerously low.
Zhao Qing's eyes widened. He immediately sank to his knees. "This subordinate was worried about Junshang!"
But Lóngxuan's eyes did not reveal a slightest bit of affection. "General Zhao." He said in an icy voice. "Zhen does not want you to think about Zhen. Zhen wants you to think about your country. Understood?"
Zhao Qing felt as if stabbed. The hidden meaning behind those softly spoken words were very obvious. How can he not understand? Lóngxuan was the person he secretly adored. He was willing to die for the sake of him. He was willing to protect him for a lifetime. He was also ready to punish those who deceived that person...
But now it seems...
Zhao Qing's eyes were very red at the ends. That heart was really made of stone. Why doesn't that person understand his feelings? Is that person that cold and unreachable? Zhao Qing felt frustrated. He slowly bowed his head and spoke in a slightly hoarse voice. "Yes. Junshang."
Lóngxuan nodded, his dark unfaltering eyes fixed at his general. "Don't think Zhen dotes on you because Zhen raised you personally. Zhen does not dote on anyone. Leave!"
Zhao Qing didn't say anything. He bowed and silently strode away.
*** ***
I dropped the bucket of water on the floor and wiped away the sweat on my forehead. My back was drenched with sweat too. The wounds that got newly torn again and again with the hard work I'm doing, felt as if being soaked in salt.
It was unbearable. But I gritted my teeth and endured. I deserved this. I have no blames.
It was this morning itself the emperor ripped me off my ranks and named me as a palace slave.
Palace slaves were the lowest people working in the palace. They were actually prisoners with serious crimes. They always had to work to the betterment of the nation. They worked at construction sites, renovated monasteries, farmed in the fields of poor people, swept and cleaned the roads and did every sort of work.
The emperor was fortunately a fair person. Though they were palace slaves, the emperor always paid them handsomely and provided them with good food.
There were several special rules at Zhenhuang that were strictly supervised. Of course, the emperor was still the scariest when it came to punishments. He might be extra strict with his officials. But he did it for the betterment of the empire.
Under his orders, special academies were opened in main cities of the empire for the poor children to learn freely.
Any child who liked to learn letters and arts would be accepted. This was established to reduce the number of unlearned people so that once they grow up, they can make a living on their own. And if they were bright enough, they were even taken to the palace.
That was why there were no beggars at Zhenhuang. For any empire, a state without a beggar was a dream. But Lóngxuan did it.
The success behind this betterment was that person who silently sat on his throne. If it wasn't for him, would Zhenhuang be peaceful like this?
That was why people loved the emperor. That was why they respected him. Though the emperor was cold and unreachable, he always cared. He always forgave.
Tears filled my eyes again. And yet, that kind of a person was betrayed by me... I gulped.
That person must be thinking I enjoyed my life at Liu Shan. But only I knew how I was violated in every manner, both physically and mentally, how I was tortured day and night... to the extent I thought I would go mad.
I missed the days of old when I always used to watch that person whom I loved from afar.
But when I was prisoned at Liu Shan I died a thousand times alive. It was the reason I was glad to see Zhenhuang armies coming to capture me so that I can finally die and be free of all the tortures.
And if that person knows I chose that fate for the sake of him?
There was a shocking secret that I kept hidden from everyone. And I wish to keep it a secret for the rest of my life. For numerous times I had wondered if that person had thought why I betrayed him.
To be honest, I betrayed him because I wanted to save him. What if that person knew that if I did not betray him back then, he wouldn't be alive today? If he knew that I had to betray him because I wanted him safe, would he believe?
Actually, my only choice back then was to choose between my people or Lóngxuan. So I chose to save Lóngxuan, putting people's lives at risk. No matter how hard I regretted it, if a second chance was given, in the depths of my heart, I still knew that I would still choose to save Lóngxuan...
That was the reason why I risked a thousand lives along with mine, to keep that person safe. That was the reason I endured a thousand hardships amid tortures for five years long at a place that wasn't familiar to me. A place that wasn't a home to me.
But now, I'm no longer pure. Getting closer to Lóngxuan is a dream. Though I feel pain at this thought, I would never regret it in that view.
I knew I won't live for too long considering the tortures I went continually through five years. My core was shattered. Spiritual veins are torn. I knew I'm slowly dying.
So I made up my mind. I made up my mind personally to investigate the matter over. Why was I suddenly forced to take that move five years ago? Who was behind this?
That person definitely had connections with Liu Shan. My only wish in this short life is to find back why I was forced. I wanted to find what made me move away from the person that I loved.
I felt very tired. So I just placed the water bucket beside me and sat on the leafy floor under a tree. This place was a bit deserted since it was under a construction site.
As I rested for a while, my sharp senses felt a gaze directed at me. I tilted my head and saw a little boy not more than ten, looking at me with big eyes.
He was a bit far away, hiding behind a tree. His face had pure innocence and it looked as though he did not know what kind of a person I was now.
So I waved my hand and called him closer. He came with nervous steps. He was holding a big bun. He carefully observed me from up to down and asked me in a tentative voice. "Does it hurt?"
It was obvious he was asking about the wounds on my body. I smiled shaking my head. After a very long time, guided by that child's pure innocence, I smiled again. It felt so strange to smile after five years of continuous agony. "It doesn't." I said gently. "Look! I'm alright!"
"But your face doesn't..." The boy said back nervously. "Big brother had worked hard it seems. Are you not hungry? If you don't go to have lunch now, you won't get it later."
I was amazed. It was clear this boy knew about how prison slaves were treated. Yes, being tolerant towards the prison slaves did not mean the emperor was ready to let them off.
Prison slaves had the most strict time table. They had to wake at four in the morning, work the whole day and sleep at twelve... If they miss the meals that are distributed on time, they won't get it again. I gulped. I purposely avoided my lunch. I was too embarrassed to confront others.
I would rather die of hunger...
I smiled at the kid again. "I'm not hungry."
But the child clearly did not believe. "Yes you are!" He stretched the bun towards me smiling weakly. "Have this. Big brother, I can have more..."
I was startled. I couldn't help but look at him with creased brows. "Where are your parents? Why are you running around alone?"
The boys pursed his thin lips, lowering his head. "I lost them both... Five years ago... They were killed..."
My heart burned. Five years ago? So they died under my rebel? Did this kid know that I was the person who caused their death? If he knew, what would he do?
Tears filled my eyes. I grasped from both his hands.
"Tell me! How are you in the capital now?"
"It's not only me. Many children of my age was rescued from that fire soon after. After treating us at the nearby city for three weeks, all the orphan children were brought to the capital by big brother in red. He gave us into an academy where we can learn and eat every day."
"Big brother in red?" I asked in pain.
"Hmm." The kid said smiling brightly. "Big brother in red is very good. He treats us the best. He teaches us letters and Martial Arts when he gets time to spare. He plays with us when we are bored. He gives us good food. But he's very busy."
I was confused. At first I could not come up with a possible person who had such a nickname. Was he someone whom I didn't know at all? After all, it had been more than five years. Many things were already not familiar from the things I once used to know here. I pursed my lips and fell into thought.
Then suddenly I felt a stab of pain. I had a faint guess in my heart. What instantly filled my mind was a young handsome figure in red and black, that sat on the general's seat at the court. "General Zhao Xianyu?" I said in a hoarse whisper.
The boy nodded furiously. "It's him!"
I did not know what to feel. Despite my duty to serve the nation by protecting the borders, back then, I rarely left the border fortress. But now the military strength of Yan'an Battalions were much stronger than before.
The reason back then was that I was their general. Many didn't dare to stir trouble when I was there. So much of the time I spent there was spent in laze. But now it seems that Lóngxuan had asked the military to tighten the security.
This Zhao Qing not only maintained his armies, but also had time spared for social welfare activities. I felt an ache. Somewhere to the depths of my heart, it was also numb and itchy.
The emperor might be really cherishing this beloved new general of his, unlike someone like me who had bitten the hand that fed it.
My eyes slowly drew blurry as I lowered my head. The boy was startled when I had zoned out. He looked at me anxiously. "Big brother, are you alright? Eat this, you'll be fine!" He stretched me the bun looking nervous.
To ignore the child would be rude. I forced a bitter smile and accepted it with dirty hands. "Thanks..."
Shit! Why am I choking? Why was my voice suddenly hoarse? I watched the boy leave with burning eyes. Then I looked at the bun. I don't even deserve this.
As tears left my eyes, I wiped it away with the back of my dirty sleeve and raised the bun to eat.
Suddenly I did not know what happened. There was a flash of pain in my wrist before the bun slipped through my hands and fell onto the moist soil.
My eyes widened when the hem of a black - golden silken robe came into my view. Before I could even think, I was raised by my shoulders.
I gasped, trying to struggle away. But I was already weak and couldn't even match up my strength. And even startling me, by the next moment, I was pulled into a firm hug by the other person.
His strong arms went around my waist and the back of the head, forcing me to lean my head onto that person's chest. The fragrance of sandalwood was deep. I slowly shut my eyes. My lips were trembling convulsively.
"Let me... go..."
But the other person tightened his wrap around me and didn't seem to care that I'm dirty. It felt strangely warm and safe. Then I heard a hoarse voice above my head. "Don't move. Just let me hug you like this more, alright?"
I swallowed, feeling my cheeks scorching. I'm not a person who would loose my rationality in anyway but why did I bury my head in that person's chest crying loudly, when I should have moved away? I did not know.
I couldn't help but shudder. This feeling... That person must have felt it. He caressed my dirty head consoling me silently. "It's alright, Liu Feng, I'm here for you." He whispered.
I grasped him back with all my might, not willing to let go, as if it was the last thread of light in the darkness of my barely hanging life.
As my tears moistened that person's lapels, I closed my eyes, my lips curling at the ends in a bitter smile.
When a whole world ignored me, to find comfort like this was really making me think at least there's a single person who had wanted me safe, a single person who was willing to believe me, care for me and trust me all these times.
"Thanks, Your Highness the Third Prince.."