After a tiresome day, next morning, I had to clean the highest storey of the ancestor tower. This altair was at the twelfth floor of the tower and required frequent cleaning.
The hall was enormous, with a black wood tile - floor and beautiful carved pillars. The balcony stood out fenced with a wooden railing, overlooking the Soaring Dragon Palace. That was the personal residence of Lóngxuan...
Five years...
For five years I haven't seen that place. I couldn't help but place the bucket and the rag at the main hall and walk towards that balcony.
That place used to be very beautiful with the palace situated in the mid of an enormous lake full of carps and lotus flowers. The aroma of the flowers were fresh, and would always spread around for miles every morning.
The moment I lowered my eyes to look down the railing, at the palace that I used to be once very familiar with, I felt my heart burn. It still looked the same, with the palace rising amid the frosty lake full of lotuses along with a cold curtain of mist that shrouded the place sealing it half way around.
Back then, I was a frequent visitor here, often accompanying Lóngxuan at his personal study to help him work.
At some cold mornings I would sit by the brim of the long stony bridge that led way to the palace with my legs swinging down listlessly, dipped in the water. My legs would sink knee deep among the looming dark green lotus leaves. And I would throw snacks at the golden carps that circled around my legs flapping their magnificent tails.
It was as if that place was mine. I never cared about what Lóngxuan thought. And Lóngxuan, on the other hand, still gave me a cold shoulder, shrugging and leaving me to dumbly sit by the bridge even without smiling. His only response was a simple cold nod whenever I greeted him. It looked so distant.
But...
I suddenly realized something...
Wait...
The personal residence of the emperor was always strictly guarded. He never let anyone inside let alone maids to clean his residence. Only a few trustworthy dedicated eunuchs were permitted inside to do the cleaning chores and no other was let in...
But...
Still he kept silent whenever I came in without his permission. He didn't mind me inside his personal study to help him at all. I thought it was because he ignored me. He always entrusted me with hard and dangerous works to deal with.
Back then, I really thought he didn't like me and wanted to chase me away. I thought he wanted to get me pissed off. I thought he was deliberately making things hard for me.
But now I slowly realized that it might not be the case... He entrusted me with those maybe because he trusted me... May be because he trusted me more than anyone else... He would have never thought I would stab his back like this one day...
I realized how much he must be disgusted of me now... With this, the pain I felt in my heart really drove me mad. It felt so uncomfortable, heavy, and agonizing. I felt my lowered eyes sting before I felt the scorching warm tears trail down my scarred cheeks.
My eyes randomly paused at a tall silhouette at the middle of the bridge, watching the misty lilies of the morning. It wasn't too far from the tower where I stood. He wore deep black with sweeping golden edges. And he was holding something... No, someone in his arms, who looked like a child who was no more than three...
At first, I was too distracted in my thoughts. But suddenly when I identified that profile, I felt like my heart tear into pieces. That was... Lóngxuan.
Then the child....
That person was snuggling the baby with one arm while with the other, he was gently caressing that little head of him. Though his facial expression was otherwise, still his movements were gentle and caring.
My hands tightened onto the railing convulsively. That person used to have a crazy obsession with cleanliness. He never touched anyone or anything that belonged to others. But now...
Whose child is that he's now holding that intimately!!? With my eyes in incredulous disbelief, I rudely stared at the figure who stood on the bridge with his back turned towards me.
That person had a sharp sense of sensing. It had always been so. Suddenly as if by fate, that person turned to look back in my direction. My scalp exploded with a cold shudder that ran down my spine, chilling me to the bones.
I'm... I'm dead sure he saw me. I'm sure he was looking at me... For a moment, I found that I couldn't move, and my heart was beating wildly. That face didn't have a slightest touch of wetness... Only coldness, hatred, loath...
Our gazes met and locked for a few moments with he, determinedly staring and I, as if being bewitched, unable to move away my sight. But the moment that person withdrew his gaze and looked away, I fell down back onto the wooden floor and the view of the lake disappeared behind the wooden railing.
Now I only saw the blurry sight of the clear sky. I was puffing hard, my chest rising and falling heavily. My entire body shuddered.
The guard who patrolled at the hall came to the balcony and stared at me with a strange expression on his face.
"What are you doing? Why aren't you cleaning? You get the hell up!"
I struggled to my limp feet, feeling weak all over. When I looked down the railing again, that person was not there. I gulped. "Did Junshang marry?"
My voice was so hoarse that it couldn't be even distinguished as a human voice. I knew this shouldn't be something that I should be asking. Even so, I still expected a blow on my back with the guard's whip. But I wanted to know.
The guard raised a brow. "It's already four years though... what on earth are you that you even don't know this?"
This was a stab in my heart. I knew I shouldn't be thinking this way. After all, he was the emperor. He had to marry and have children to ensure the safety of the future. But still without knowing why, it broke my heart...
What was it? Jealousy? Sorrow? Anger? Frustration? Hate? I did not know. All these emotions seemed to be mixed inside my heart.
"The little crown prince is already three years old." The man continued smiling at the palace that loomed up the lotus lake. "Never seen such a cute little baby ever in my life. Junshang is truly blessed!"
After hearing that, I did not know why everything felt lost to me. I felt lost like I've never felt before. After that, I didn't remember much of what happened afterwards. Maybe I must have cleaned the hall or maybe not. When it was afternoon, I habitually kept away from going to get my meals to avoid crowd.
I felt hungry but still I ignored it. In the evening , there wasn't much to do. My thoughts wandered afar as I sat down under a tree to rest. My eyes were fixed at the setting sun aid the deepening gloom. It was when suddenly a shadow appeared in front of me.
I gasped. It was the third prince again. After we parted at the heath in a hurry that day, I didn't meet him. He was creasing his brows as he looked around warily. "Follow me!" He said.
I was stunned. "Your majesty, this..."
"Just follow me. There's no one around." He pulled me from my wrist without caring even the dirt in my hands.
He brought me to a pavilion by the lakeside at Yuanshang Palace. This place was closer to the place I worked and was the personal territory of the third prince. The pavilion was by a lake and was secluded.
I looked around nervously. He had brought me into his residence. This was also a serious crime. But I can't understand why he didn't seem to care. He only looked at me with concern.
"Eat!" He said waving his hand towards the desk laden with numerous well cooked dishes. But I shook my head gravely. I didn't deserve this. It was a long time since I had some good and decent food. I was afraid it would cause some serious matter to my weak body. Besides, I wasn't in a mood to eat anymore, since morning...
Third prince sighed. "These were your favourite dishes. Weren't they? I made them all by myself all the day, and you're going to refuse it just like that?"
"I didn't mean that, I-"
"I understand." He said smiling in irritation. "They might still taste awful right?"
"..." I couldn't help but pick up the chopsticks. The warm food made my heart skip a beat. I couldn't help but slightly smile. My wounded lips trembled. "Now your cooking is not bad. " I said hoarsely in a whisper. "They really taste good."
The third prince was watching me all the time as he sat in front of me, with his cheek supported by his palm as he rested his elbow on the desk. After a while, he sighed. "Do you want me to help you investigate who was the person behind the crime five years ago?"
The chopsticks slipped through my hand and fell onto the desk. My eyes widened in disbelief. I stared at him, bewildered.
He saw through my thoughts. "Yes, I know that you were forced to do this. You would never do something like this willingly. I trust you."
I hid my face with my hands, afraid he would see my tears. "You trust me?" I asked hoarsely. "When even I've betrayed your brother and so many people?"
"Hmm." He said quietly. "You were never the sort that would fool around. Ever since you fled five years ago, I had been through this case as far as I could persue. The person you want is from a city in far north, Qiancheng, if I remember it right."
"Qiancheng?" My brows furrowed. "That far?" I was familiar with every village and city at Zhenhuang since I once used to be their former general.
Third Prince nodded. "I was only able to pursue until that point. What do you plan to do?"
I was silent for a long time. Then I looked at him. "Help me." I said in a pleading voice. "I want to flee."
The other person was stunned. "What?"
I sighed. "I won't live more than another five months. I only want to know what happened back then."
When I said this, the other person clasped my palm in his and interlocked my dirty fingers in his tightly. "I won't let you die." He said in a hoarse whisper. His face really had a touch of pain.
I pursed my lips. "Isn't it already enough you've done this far for the sake of me? I don't really want you to drag into this."
But that person did not let go of my hand. "Still I would help you. Liu Feng, did you forget? I'm your friend. Didn't we make a promise to help each other through no matter what?"
My heart burned. That was when I was seven. I did remember having a pinky promise with him who was not even five years old. It was long time ago after all. I thought he must have forgotten it. Does a thing that an irresponsible child utters count when he grows up too? This was too much.
I slowly pulled my hand away and smiled with a lowered face. "I still have you, third prince."
"Ah'Xiu." he said gravely. "That was how you used to call me. I don't like to hear the word third prince from your mouth again, understood?"
My eyes were already tearing. I felt the spreading pain down my throat as I forcefully suppressed the tears that were forcing me down. "Thanks..." I whispered.
*** ***
The night was old and the palace was quiet. Emperor Lóngxuan raised his eyes from the memorial he was reading and looked at the person who silently entered inside. That person was wholly dressed in black. He pulled down the black cloth mask that was veiling the lower part of his handsome young face.
"Nanyuan greets Junshang!" He knelt down, bowing his head.
Lóngxuan looked at his personal spy who had been loyally working for him since years. "Nanyuan. Did you find anything?"
"This subordinate went to Liushan Capital in disguise and personally investigated the matter over." The other person spoke. "General Liu was really mistreated for five years long according to the palace eunuchs this subordinate interrogated."
Lóngxuan narrowed his eyes fixing them at the person who knelt in front of him. His aura was getting colder. "Zhen is listening."
"This subordinate also heard that General Liu was... he was forced to drink poison continually to weaken his physical strength and was... harassed by the Liushan emperor day and night."
Lóngxuan's expression was frosty. He was not dumb. It did not get much for him to roughly understand what kind of 'harassments' his subordinate meant. He pursed his thin lips slightly and narrowed his eyes even darker.
"Where is he?"
"Liushan emperor? Junshang, he's currently detained at the dungeons of the East Palace."
Lóngxuan nodded. "Torture him. And interrogate him. Get everything that you can from him and report to Zhen."
"Yes, Junshang." The young man bowed. "Junshang, don't you feel something aloof?"
Lóngxuan turned his icy gaze at the shadow guard again. "What do you mean?"
Nanyuan lamely gulped. "Everything happened all of a sudden. General Liu isn't someone who is that irresponsible. It's strange he fled to an enemy state only to get tortured day and night like that instead of getting personal gains."
Lóngxuan's eyes revealed utmost loath though his face looked icier than ever. He looked at his guard warningly.
Nanyuan pursed his lips immediately and bowed. "This subordinate will leave then."
He left silently with a bow.
Lóngxuan stared at the door for a long time even after the other person has disappeared. His eyes were slightly unfocussed. His icy face revealed no emotion. But deeper to eyes, there was something that held him down firmly suppressing his despair. He pursed his thin lips even tighter.