The morning sun hit Lia's mansion like it had been waiting to witness the disaster that was Section E. Breakfast was supposed to be "calm," "peaceful," maybe even "edible." Yeah… that didn't happen.
I walked into the dining hall, still sleepy, holding a cup of lukewarm coffee that Lia had already warned me not to spill. Keifer was beside me, calm as ever, sipping like he hadn't survived two weeks of chaos just to face another day of it. His hand rested on my knee. Safe. Grounded. My only sanctuary.
Then I heard it.
The first scream.
"WHO ATE MY PANCAKE?" Mayo yelled from across the table. Crumbs flew everywhere, as if someone had declared war on the syrup.
"IT WAS ME," Felix yelled back. "I NEEDED IT MORE!"
Kit groaned, "Can we not start like this? I'm still digesting yesterday's trauma."
Rory pointed at everyone like he was refereeing a match. "CALM DOWN. IT'S PANCAKES. IT'S NOT A NUCLEAR WAR."
In my head:
Yes Rory, nuclear war might have more order than this breakfast.
Then, the doors burst open.
Grandma. Yes. Grandma. Walking in like she owned the universe.
"Good morning, everyone! I will make coffee!" she declared.
Everyone froze. Literally. Eyes wide, forks in midair.
"NOOOOOO!" Section E yelled in unison.
"WHAT? WHY?" I asked cautiously.
"You all need ENERGY," she said like it was a public service announcement. "I'm using nineteen spoons of coffee powder this morning!"
The room went silent.
I blinked. Nineteen?
In my head: Jay, congratulations, you married into a potential caffeine apocalypse.
Felix dropped his fork. "IS THIS LEGAL?"
"LEGAL? IT'S GRANDMA'S HOUSE!" Rakki shouted, still frozen in horror.
Keifer's calm voice cut through the tension. "Wifey, I think we're doomed."
I rested my head against his shoulder. "Or it's breakfast apocalypse 2.0."
Grandma marched to the kitchen and started stirring something with a wooden spoon the size of a baseball bat. Everyone was tense. The smell of ultra-concentrated coffee filled the room. My stomach churned. Mayo faintly gagged.
And then… a loud BOOM.
"WHAT WAS THAT?" Calix screamed.
Grandma emerged from the kitchen, completely unbothered, holding a neon-blue mug. Steam rose like a chemical experiment gone wrong.
"This," she announced, "is my energy drink. Extra energy!"
"EXTRA?" Freya asked suspiciously.
"Yes, yes! I put the whole packet! Children, adults, and even senior citizens can drink it! Only half a spoon is recommended normally but not today!" Grandma smiled.
Everyone froze. Baby Grazel Jay even blinked, sensing the energy disturbance in the room.
In my head:
Jay, we are going to die. Slowly. From hyper-caffeination and chaos.
Section E looked at each other. Felix clutched his chair. Rory started sweating. Kit hid under the table. Mayo… Mayo just started gulping air like it was a survival technique.
Grandma took a sip herself. Then… she smiled wider. "Who's next?"
In my head:
Someone stop this woman before she literally gives us superpowers or kills us all.
And just when I thought it couldn't get worse…
Baby Grazel Jay started crying. Loud. Very loud.
Grace swooped in. "WHAT DID YOU DO?"
Grandma shrugged. "Just a little energy boost!"
Erdix grabbed a chair. "She's armed and dangerous!"
C In groaned. "I KNEW THIS WAS A BAD IDEA."
Keifer wrapped me in his arms again. "Wifey, I think this counts as training."
I hugged him back. "For surviving Section E, yes. Definitely training."
Meanwhile, the chaos escalated.
Felix accidentally knocked over the sugar container. Freya yelled. Rakki slipped on spilled syrup. Eren tried to dodge it, hit the chair, and sent a plate flying. Percy's horoscope-obsessed brother, Aries, yelled something about planetary alignment causing this breakfast disaster.
In my head:
Jay, just breathe. You're married to the calmest man alive for a reason.
Grandma, completely unaware, started brewing another batch. "Who wants tea next?"
Everyone screamed again.
Keifer leaned close. "Wifey… maybe breakfast is a war zone today. Again."
I laughed softly, shaking my head. "I married into the apocalypse."
He kissed my forehead. "And you survived it yesterday. You'll survive today."
I looked around. Section E was panicking, arguing, slipping, spilling. Chaos reigned. Baby Grazel Jay was wailing in the corner. Grandmother smiled like she had won.
In my head:
Yes, I survived this morning. But barely.
And somehow, through all the screams, laughter, and spilled syrup… I felt home.
I had just taken a cautious sip of lukewarm coffee—blessedly untouched by Grandma's "extra energy" experiment—when the first shriek came from the corner.
Baby Grazel Jay.
She had somehow wiggled out of Grace's arms and was crawling at lightning speed across the polished marble floor. I blinked. This baby is faster than Rory running from responsibilities.
"Stop her!" Grace yelled, chasing her like a panicked general.
Erdix grabbed a towel, "I'll block the hallway!"
Felix tried to intercept her with a plate, which… predictably failed. Baby Grazel Jay giggled like she'd just conquered the world and knocked the plate out of his hand. Sauce splattered Felix's shirt. He froze. "I… I hate this."
Mayo screamed. "SHE TOOK MY MUFFIN!"
I turned to see Grazel Jay clutching a blueberry muffin like it was a priceless treasure. Kit dove, but slipped on spilled syrup, sliding straight into Emman. They both fell dramatically. I could hear them cursing silently, probably about their life choices.
In my head:
Jay, this is what happens when Section E and babies collide. You survive, barely.
The baby crawled toward Grandma, who was stirring another mug of neon-blue energy drink, completely oblivious.
"NO! NOT HER!" I screamed.
Grandma, naturally, welcomed it.
"Oh hello! Want some energy drink?"
Grace panicked. "ABSOLUTELY NOT!"
Aries tried to intervene, looking at planetary alignments and claiming the baby's chaos was "astrologically preordained." Percy, not to be outdone, grabbed a bib and declared he was ready for combat.
Rory, meanwhile, decided the only logical thing was to film the disaster. "This is going on my story—viral content!"
Keifer wrapped an arm around me, whispering, "Wifey… I think she's testing our survival skills."
I sighed. "Yes, hubby. And failing miserably."
The baby had reached the middle of the table and somehow launched Mayo's cereal bowl like a frisbee toward the wall.
"NOOOOO!" Mayo screamed.
Kit tried to catch it and ended up wearing half the cereal. Freya facepalmed. Rakki muttered something about never having children. Eren laughed maniacally. Felix cried silently.
In my head:
Baby Grazel Jay is the ultimate Section E member—cute, chaotic, and impossible to control.
Then Grazel Jay spotted the whipped cream can. She squealed. I froze. Everyone froze. Grandma cheered.
"YES! SHE'S FOUND THE ENERGY!"
Before anyone could react, the baby grabbed the can and shook it like a maraca. White foam exploded in the air. Rory screamed, Calix ducked, and the cat—because yes, the cat exists here—ran for cover.
Keifer grabbed me and pulled me back. "Wifey… we are officially under siege."
I laughed despite myself. "Hubby… she's winning."
Grace finally got close enough to scoop the baby up, but not before Grazel Jay had managed to smear whipped cream in Felix's hair, on Mayo's sleeve, and—of course—on herself.
Baby Grazel Jay giggled triumphantly. Everyone froze, staring. Then… started laughing.
Grandma clapped her hands. "Wonderful! Now everyone has energy!"
I buried my face in Keifer's chest, whispering, "Hubby, tell me this madness ends soon."
He kissed my hair. "Wifey, this is just breakfast. You haven't seen the real war yet."
In my head:
Jay, remind yourself: you married the calmest man alive so you could survive the loudest family in existence.
Baby Grazel Jay, meanwhile, decided the next target was the fruit basket. Chaos resumed.
Bananas flew. Grapes rolled. Section E was screaming and slipping. Kit fell again. Emman slid into the wall. Felix muttered curses into his napkin. Rory was still filming, shouting "CONTENT!"
I sighed and laughed at the same time. "Hubby, I'm never leaving this house."
Keifer hugged me tighter. "Wifey… I wouldn't have it any other way."
And in the middle of whipped cream, spilled cereal, and flying bananas, I realized something.
No matter how chaotic, loud, messy, or ridiculous Section E and baby Grazel Jay were… this was home.