Kevin Chen had always known he would die in some spectacular fashion.
Perhaps it would be in a blaze of glory, saving someone from a burning building while dramatic orchestral music played in the background. Maybe he would go out like a true protagonist, sacrificing himself to save the world while screaming the name of his ultimate technique. Or perhaps, if fate was feeling particularly generous, he would simply pass away peacefully in his sleep at the ripe old age of one hundred and seven, surrounded by his loving family and his absolutely massive collection of anime figurines.
What Kevin had not anticipated was dying at the age of twenty-three, in his small apartment in Brooklyn, while choking on a particularly spicy Takis chip during an intense online argument about whether or not Goku could beat Superman.
The irony, as it turned out, was not lost on the universe.
It had started, as most terrible decisions do, with Kevin making the absolutely catastrophic choice to browse social media at three in the morning on a Tuesday. He had been unable to sleep, his mind racing with thoughts about his dead-end retail job, his crippling student loan debt, and the fact that he had eaten nothing but instant ramen and energy drinks for the past four days straight. So, like any reasonable adult, he had decided to cope with his existential dread by arguing with strangers on the internet.
The post that had caught his attention was innocent enough at first glance. Someone had shared a meme comparing various fictional characters' power levels, and Kevin had made the mistake of scrolling down to the comments section. What he found there was a wasteland of broken logic, faulty scaling, and enough copium to fuel a small nation.
"Goku solos fiction," read one comment with fifteen hundred likes.
"UI Goku blinks and the entire Marvel universe ceases to exist," proclaimed another.
"Bro doesn't realize Goku scales to infinite multiversal+ with immeasurable speed," someone had written, apparently having swallowed an entire thesaurus without bothering to understand what any of the words actually meant.
And Kevin, foolish, foolish Kevin, had decided to respond.
What followed was a three-hour argument that had devolved into pure chaos. Kevin had calmly explained, with cited sources and logical reasoning, that Dragon Ball's scaling was massively inflated by the fandom, that Goku had numerous weaknesses that were consistently exploited throughout the series, and that there were in fact many, many fictional characters who could defeat him through various means.
The responses he had received were... less than receptive.
"You're just a hater."
"Cope and seethe."
"Goku literally shook the infinite void which proves he's beyond dimensionality."
"But what about Xeno Goku though???"
It was while reading that last comment, his eye twitching in barely contained frustration, that Kevin had reached for his bag of Flamin' Hot Takis. He had been so focused on typing his rebuttal—something about how bringing up Xeno Goku in debates about canon Goku was intellectually dishonest and also stupid—that he had shoved an entire handful of chips into his mouth without properly chewing.
The chip had lodged itself in his throat with the precision of a guided missile, and Kevin had spent his final thirty seconds of life flailing around his apartment like a dying fish while his computer screen displayed his half-finished comment: "That's not even the same continuity you absolute moldy walnu—"
He never did get to finish calling that person a moldy walnut.
The world had gone dark, and Kevin Chen had died, alone in his apartment, killed by a corn-based snack and pure, unadulterated rage at internet strangers.
It was, objectively, the lamest death in human history.
When Kevin opened his eyes again, he found himself floating in an infinite void that was somehow simultaneously the brightest white and the darkest black he had ever experienced. It was as if someone had taken the concept of "everything and nothing" and decided to use it as an interior design choice.
"Well," said a voice that seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere at once, reverberating through Kevin's very soul like a bass drop at a concert, "that was certainly pathetic."
Kevin blinked. Or at least, he thought he blinked. He wasn't entirely sure he had a body anymore.
"Hello?" he called out, his voice echoing through the endless expanse. "Is anyone there? Am I dead? Is this heaven? Hell? Some kind of purgatory where I'm going to be judged for all the times I said anime was better than Western animation?"
"It's none of those things," the voice replied, and suddenly Kevin became aware of a presence materializing before him. It started as a shimmer in the air, then a vague humanoid shape, and finally coalesced into something that Kevin could only describe as "a seventeen-dimensional entity that had decided to squeeze itself into a three-dimensional body and was very annoyed about the whole experience."
The being stood—or rather, existed—before him, appearing as a tall figure in a crisp business suit that seemed to shift colors every time Kevin tried to focus on it. Its face was... well, it had a face, Kevin was relatively certain, but every time he tried to look at it directly, his brain simply refused to process what he was seeing. It was like trying to read a word while someone was actively erasing and rewriting it.
"I am the Arbiter of Narrative Balance," the entity announced, its voice carrying the weight of countless storylines and the exhaustion of someone who had seen far too many fanfiction tropes. "I exist beyond the boundaries of fictional realities, serving as a corrective force for when the discourse gets... out of hand."
Kevin stared at the entity for a long moment.
"I'm sorry," he said slowly, "but did you just say 'discourse'? Like... internet discourse? Are you telling me there's a cosmic entity whose job is to deal with bad takes on the internet?"
The Arbiter let out a sound that might have been a sigh, if sighs could express millennia of accumulated frustration.
"It is... more complicated than that," it said. "I maintain the balance of perceived power across fictional narratives. When the collective consciousness of readers, viewers, and fans creates distortions in how characters are perceived versus how they actually function within their own stories, I am called upon to... correct these misconceptions."
Kevin's brain, which was already struggling to process the fact that he was dead and talking to an interdimensional entity, latched onto this explanation with the desperation of a drowning man grabbing a life preserver.
"So you're saying," he said slowly, a grin beginning to spread across his face, "that you exist specifically because people on the internet are wrong about power scaling?"
"In essence, yes."
"And you've appeared to me because...?"
The Arbiter's vaguely-head-shaped area tilted slightly, in what might have been contemplation or might have been an attempt to understand the concept of having a physical form.
"You died while engaged in battle," it said.
"I choked on a chip."
"You died while engaged in intellectual battle," the Arbiter corrected, "defending the truth of fictional narratives against the endless tide of misinformation and deliberate misrepresentation. Your spirit cried out into the void with such intensity that it echoed across the barriers between realities. You were... passionate."
"I was angry because someone said Goku could beat a Living Tribunal," Kevin muttered. "That's not passion, that's just common sense."
"Nevertheless," the Arbiter continued, "your death has created an opportunity. The multiverse exists in a delicate balance, Kevin Chen. The beliefs of mortals shape the very fabric of reality, and when those beliefs become sufficiently... divorced from the truth... things begin to break down."
"Things like what?"
"Plot consistency. Narrative tension. The fundamental laws of cause and effect within fictional spaces. When enough people believe that a character is invincible, it creates pressure on the reality in which that character exists. The story warps. Villains become trivial. Stakes cease to matter. And eventually, the narrative collapses under the weight of its own impossibility."
Kevin thought about this for a moment.
"So you're saying that Dragon Ball fanboys are literally threatening the structural integrity of fictional reality?"
"Among others, yes."
Kevin nodded slowly.
"Okay," he said. "I'm listening."
The Arbiter seemed to approve of this response, its form shifting slightly in what might have been satisfaction.
"I am prepared to offer you a second chance at existence," it said. "You will be reborn in another reality—specifically, the reality designated as Earth-616 of the Marvel Comics multiverse—with a unique system that will grant you abilities based on your capacity to demonstrate the truth about fictional power levels."
Kevin's eyes—or the metaphysical concept of his eyes—widened.
"Wait, hold on," he said. "You're sending me to Marvel? Like, the Marvel? Spider-Man? X-Men? Avengers? That Marvel?"
"Correct. It is a reality that will provide ample opportunities for you to encounter beings of various power levels and demonstrate the truth of their capabilities relative to other fictional entities."
"And the system?"
The Arbiter's form flickered, and suddenly Kevin felt something integrate itself into his very being. It was like having a new organ installed—an awareness that hadn't been there before, sitting comfortably in the back of his mind.
[SYSTEM INITIALIZATION COMPLETE]
[WELCOME, USER: KEVIN CHEN]
[SYSTEM DESIGNATION: THE FANBOY CORRECTIONAL AND EVIDENCE-BASED POWER SCALING ASSESSMENT NETWORK]
[NICKNAME: THE "PROVE THE FANBOYS WRONG" SYSTEM]
[PRIMARY FUNCTION: GRANT USER ABILITIES FROM VARIOUS FICTIONAL UNIVERSES BASED ON SUCCESSFUL DEMONSTRATION OF ACCURATE POWER SCALING AND CHARACTER CAPABILITY ASSESSMENTS]
[SECONDARY FUNCTION: ANNOY DRAGON BALL FANBOYS SPECIFICALLY, BECAUSE THE ARBITER IS PETTY LIKE THAT]
Kevin blinked at the blue translucent screen that had appeared in his vision.
"Did... did the system just call itself petty?"
"The system reflects its creator," the Arbiter said, and Kevin could swear he heard a note of smug satisfaction in its voice. "I have dealt with approximately seventeen trillion arguments about whether or not Goku could beat various characters. I have listened to more discourse about 'Xeno Goku' and 'Composite Goku' and 'Goku at his absolute peak with all abilities' than any being should ever have to endure. I am, as you might say, done with it."
Kevin couldn't help it. He laughed.
"Okay," he said, wiping a tear from his metaphysical eye, "I think I'm going to like this system."
[USER AFFECTION NOTED]
[SYSTEM IS ALSO FOND OF USER'S ENERGY]
"Before you depart," the Arbiter continued, "allow me to explain the mechanics of your new existence. The system operates on a simple principle: demonstrate truth, receive power."
A new screen appeared before Kevin:
[SYSTEM MECHANICS]
[1. ARGUMENTATION PHASE: User must encounter or imagine a scenario where a character (typically from Dragon Ball) is being unfairly compared to another fictional character]
[2. ANALYSIS PHASE: User must provide logical, evidence-based reasoning for why the comparison is inaccurate, citing specific feats, abilities, and narrative context]
[3. VALIDATION PHASE: If the system determines the argument is sound, user will receive a relevant ability from the character who would realistically win the comparison]
[4. PROHIBITION: "But Xeno Goku" is not a valid argument. Neither is "Composite Goku." Neither is "Goku in the video games." Canon Goku will be evaluated based on canon Goku feats, not fanfiction, not crossovers, not what-ifs]
[5. ADDITIONAL NOTE: Dragon Ball is, at most, planetary level for energy output and continental level for physical striking force. The moon feat from Master Roshi occurred in early Dragon Ball when the series was primarily a comedic adventure manga with occasional serious moments. It is a gag feat, not a scaling baseline. Fight me about this. Please. The system is literally designed for this]
Kevin stared at the screen.
"The system is really aggressive about this," he observed.
"I told you," the Arbiter said. "Seventeen trillion arguments. I have feelings about this."
"Fair enough."
Another screen appeared:
[INITIAL ABILITY ROSTER: NONE]
[User must earn all abilities through successful argumentation]
[To assist with survival in the Marvel Universe, user will be granted one (1) starting perk]
[STARTING PERK: "NOT IMMEDIATELY DEAD" - User will be reborn with a body slightly more durable than baseline human, approximately on par with a peak Olympic athlete. This will help user survive long enough to actually use the system]
[NOTE: This is not a power. This is a courtesy. Do not get arrogant about it]
Kevin nodded slowly.
"Okay," he said. "So let me make sure I understand this. I'm going to be reborn in Marvel. When I encounter situations where I need to prove that a character from another franchise could beat Goku or other Dragon Ball characters, I can make an argument. If the argument is good, I get an ability from that character. And the system specifically hates the 'But Xeno Goku' defense."
"Correct."
"And I'm guessing there are a lot of characters who could beat Goku?"
The Arbiter's form flickered in what might have been amusement.
"Kevin Chen," it said, "there are entire universes filled with characters who could defeat Goku. You are going to be reborn in one of them. The Marvel Universe alone contains entities who operate on levels that Goku cannot even conceptualize. But more than that, there are characters from less obviously powerful settings who would also defeat him—not through raw power, but through abilities and powers that Goku has no defense against."
Kevin's grin widened.
"Tell me more."
"One Piece," the Arbiter said, and a screen appeared showing information. "Goku has no Haki. He cannot interact with spiritual energy in the way that One Piece characters can. Logia users, whose bodies are made of elemental forces, cannot be harmed without Haki or specific counters. Goku would punch through Smoker or Ace or any Logia user and accomplish nothing. Furthermore, Conqueror's Haki is a spiritual attack that targets the will. Goku's durability is physical, not spiritual. He would be knocked unconscious."
Kevin's eyes widened.
"And Gear Fifth Luffy—"
"Possesses a power that is effectively Toon Force," the Arbiter continued. "The Nika Fruit allows Luffy to fight in ways that defy logic and physics. If Luffy decides he wants to hit Goku, he will hit Goku, regardless of speed or power differences, because his power literally runs on imagination and will. Oda is a smarter writer than Toriyama in many ways, so it is not as blatantly reality-breaking as Western cartoon Toon Force, but the principle is the same."
[POTENTIAL ABILITY UNLOCK: ONE PIECE ABILITIES]
[Requirements: Demonstrate why One Piece characters have advantages over Dragon Ball characters in specific scenarios]
[Available Abilities: Haki (Observation, Armament, Conqueror's), Devil Fruit Powers (Various), Rokushiki Techniques, and more]
Kevin was practically vibrating with excitement.
"What else?"
"Jujutsu Kaisen," the Arbiter said. "Idle Transfiguration from Mahito. It is a technique that directly manipulates the shape of the soul. Goku has no defense against soul manipulation. Mahito could touch Goku once and reshape his soul into a helpless form. Dead."
[POTENTIAL ABILITY UNLOCK: JUJUTSU KAISEN CURSED TECHNIQUES]
[Available Abilities: Domain Expansion, Cursed Energy Manipulation, Various Innate Techniques]
"God of High School," the Arbiter continued. "The Borrowed Powers are literally derived from gods and mythological entities. The Scale of the Gods alone operates on conceptual levels that Dragon Ball never touches. Jin Mori is literally the Monkey King—a being of myth and legend who fought Buddha. This is a verse where characters borrow power from gods, become gods, and kill gods as a matter of course."
[POTENTIAL ABILITY UNLOCK: GOD OF HIGH SCHOOL ABILITIES]
[Available Abilities: Borrowed Power, National Treasures, Charyeok, Renewal Taekwondo Techniques]
"Saint Seiya," the Arbiter said, its voice taking on an almost reverent tone. "A universe where the baseline power for Gold Saints is the ability to move at the speed of light. Where characters destroy galaxies as casual demonstrations of power. Where armor is forged from the blood of gods and concepts like 'death' and 'time' are manipulated by warriors. The power scaling in Saint Seiya operates on mythological levels that Dragon Ball could never touch."
[POTENTIAL ABILITY UNLOCK: SAINT SEIYA COSMOS]
[Available Abilities: Seventh Sense, Eighth Sense, Cosmo Manipulation, Various Cloth Abilities]
Kevin's jaw had dropped somewhere around "galaxies as casual demonstrations."
"Gurren Lagann," the Arbiter continued. "A universe where the final mecha is literally bigger than the observable universe. Where the power of determination and fighting spirit can generate energy equivalent to the Big Bang. Where characters win fights through sheer willpower to such an extent that they can grab concepts and beat their enemies with them."
[POTENTIAL ABILITY UNLOCK: SPIRAL POWER]
[Available Abilities: Spiral Energy Manipulation, Probability Alteration Through Will, Reality Overwriting Through Fighting Spirit]
"That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime," the Arbiter said. "Where Rimuru Tempest becomes a multiversal god who can create and destroy infinite worlds, absorb any ability he encounters, and literally controls space-time. The power scaling in that series starts at 'eating a dragon' and ends at 'becoming the supreme being of all reality.'"
[POTENTIAL ABILITY UNLOCK: TENSURA ABILITIES]
[Available Abilities: Great Sage/Raphael/Ciel, Predator/Gluttony, Various Ultimate Skills]
"Anos Voldigoad from The Misfit of Demon King Academy," the Arbiter said, and Kevin could swear he heard something like admiration in its voice. "A being who is literally immune to conceptual death. Who was killed and came back specifically because he decided being dead was boring. Who can destroy universes with his heartbeat and casually rewrites the laws of reality. Anos treats concepts like 'fate' and 'causality' as mere suggestions."
[POTENTIAL ABILITY UNLOCK: ANOS VOLDIGOAD'S ABILITIES]
[Available Abilities: Source Manipulation, Conceptual Existence, Reality Overwriting]
"And then there's the obvious one," the Arbiter said. "Superman."
Kevin leaned forward.
"Superman," the Arbiter said, "in literally any version, would defeat Goku. The weakest versions of Superman are still planetary-level with effectively unlimited solar energy absorption and zero ki-related weaknesses. The strongest versions—Cosmic Armor Superman, Strange Visitor Superman, Superman Prime One Million—are beings who exist beyond the concept of power levels. They are narrative forces. They win because they are Superman. That is not hyperbole. That is literally how they function."
[POTENTIAL ABILITY UNLOCK: KRYPTONIAN PHYSIOLOGY]
[Available Abilities: Solar Energy Absorption, Super Strength/Speed/Durability, Heat Vision, and more]
"Sonic the Hedgehog," the Arbiter continued. "Even in base form, Sonic operates at speeds that make Goku look stationary. Super Sonic is an invincible, reality-warping golden god who defeats cosmic entities and literal embodiments of evil. Hyper Sonic transcends Super Sonic. And don't get me started on Archie Comics Sonic."
[POTENTIAL ABILITY UNLOCK: CHAOS ENERGY MANIPULATION]
[Available Abilities: Super Speed, Chaos Energy, Super Form Transformation]
"Dante and Vergil from Devil May Cry," the Arbiter said. "Half-demon children of Sparda who casually defeat beings that could destroy the mortal realm and the demon realm. Who move faster than sight, regenerate from nearly any injury, and have such ridiculous combat experience that they would style on Goku like he was a practice dummy."
[POTENTIAL ABILITY UNLOCK: DEVIL TRIGGER]
[Available Abilities: Demonic Transformation, Devil Arms, Styles]
"The Doom Slayer," the Arbiter said. "A being who has killed so many demons that Hell itself fears him. Who is stated in-universe to be a constant, someone who cannot be stopped by any force in existence. Who defeated the Dark Lord, the creator of Hell, in single combat. Goku has nothing in his arsenal that could put down the Doom Slayer, but the Doom Slayer absolutely has weapons that could kill Goku."
[POTENTIAL ABILITY UNLOCK: DOOM SLAYER'S ARSENAL]
[Available Abilities: Praetor Suit, BFG 9000, Crucible, Rage-Based Power Scaling]
"Kratos," the Arbiter said. "A mortal who has killed his entire pantheon. Who has killed Titans, Primordials, and the literal concept of Death. Who possesses weapons forged by gods and has demonstrated feats that transcend normal physical limitations. Goku is strong, but Kratos has killed things that were strong, and then he killed the things that made them strong."
[POTENTIAL ABILITY UNLOCK: SPARTAN RAGE]
[Available Abilities: Divine Weapons, God Slaying Techniques, Endless Rage]
"Asura from Asura's Wrath," the Arbiter said, and there was definitely amusement now. "A being who punched a god the size of a planet. Who got so angry that he transcended death. Whose defining characteristic is that he will never, ever, ever stop fighting until his enemies are destroyed. Asura is what Goku wishes he could be—a warrior whose determination and rage are so intense that reality itself bends to accommodate them."
[POTENTIAL ABILITY UNLOCK: MANTRA]
[Available Abilities: Mantra Affinity (Wrath), Unlimited Rage Scaling, Arm Regeneration Through Pure Anger]
Kevin stood in the void, his mind reeling from the sheer volume of information he had just received.
"This is..." he started.
"A lot?" the Arbiter suggested.
"Incredible," Kevin finished, a manic grin spreading across his face. "This is absolutely incredible. You're telling me I can get abilities from all of these verses? Just by proving that they could beat Goku?"
"Among other things, yes. The system is not limited to Dragon Ball comparisons, but given that Dragon Ball discourse represents approximately thirty-seven percent of all fictional power-scaling arguments across the multiverse, it is a significant source of potential ability acquisition."
"Thirty-seven percent?"
"Dragon Ball fans are... prolific," the Arbiter said diplomatically.
Kevin laughed again.
"Okay," he said. "I accept. Send me to Marvel. Give me the system. Let me prove these fanboys wrong."
The Arbiter's form shifted, and Kevin felt something fundamental change about his existence.
"Before you go," it said, "one final piece of information. You will not remember this conversation in its entirety upon your rebirth. The details will come to you gradually, as needed. What you will remember is the truth—that there are many characters stronger than Goku, that power scaling requires nuance and context, and that 'But Xeno Goku' is never a valid argument."
Kevin nodded.
"One more thing," the Arbiter said. "In the Marvel Universe, you will encounter beings of tremendous power. Cosmic entities. Abstract beings. Gods and demons and everything in between. Some of them could destroy planets with a thought. Some of them exist beyond the concept of existence itself."
"And let me guess," Kevin said, "all of them could beat Goku?"
The Arbiter's form flickered in amusement.
"It would take quite some time to list all the Marvel characters who could defeat Goku," it said. "The Living Tribunal alone makes the entire Dragon Ball universe look like a particularly ambitious kindergarten playground. One-Above-All literally is the concept of infinite power. Franklin Richards rewrote reality as a child. Scarlet Witch said 'No more mutants' and there were no more mutants. This is the universe you are entering."
Kevin grinned.
"Sounds like paradise."
"It will also try to kill you constantly," the Arbiter added. "New York alone experiences an average of three catastrophic events per week. Stay alert."
"Got it."
"Good luck, Kevin Chen," the Arbiter said, and the void began to shift around Kevin. "May your arguments be sound, your evidence be irrefutable, and may you make at least one Dragon Ball fanboy cry with the weight of their own cognitive dissonance."
"That's the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me."
"I know."
And then the void collapsed, and Kevin Chen was reborn.
Kevin's first awareness of his new life came in the form of a splitting headache and the sound of car horns.
He was lying on something hard and uncomfortable—concrete, his brain supplied helpfully—and the sky above him was a peculiar shade of grey that spoke of pollution and impending rain. The sounds around him were overwhelmingly urban: traffic, distant sirens, someone yelling about bagels, what might have been an explosion roughly three blocks away.
I'm in New York, Kevin thought. I'm actually in New York. In the Marvel Universe.
He sat up slowly, taking stock of his situation. He was wearing clothes he didn't recognize—a plain black t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers that looked like they'd seen better days. His hands were his own, but also somehow not—the same general shape, but younger somehow, and without the calluses from years of retail work.
A screen flickered into existence in his peripheral vision:
[SYSTEM ONLINE]
[REINCARNATION SUCCESSFUL]
[CURRENT LOCATION: HELL'S KITCHEN, NEW YORK CITY, EARTH-616]
[CURRENT DATE: DECEMBER 15TH]
[CURRENT TIME: 2:34 PM]
[USER STATUS: ALIVE (BARELY)]
[ABILITIES: NONE]
[ARGUMENTS WON: 0]
[FANBOYS CORRECTED: 0]
[REPUTATION: UNKNOWN]
Kevin couldn't help but grin at the system display.
[NOTE: USER APPEARS TO BE EXPERIENCING MILD EUPHORIA]
[THIS IS NORMAL FOR NEW REINCARNATES]
[IT WILL PASS WHEN SOMETHING TRIES TO KILL YOU]
[ESTIMATED TIME UNTIL SOMETHING TRIES TO KILL YOU: 3 HOURS]
Kevin's grin faltered slightly.
"Wait, what?"
[HELL'S KITCHEN IS A DANGEROUS NEIGHBORHOOD]
[THE HAND, ORGANIZED CRIME, AND GENERAL NEW YORK HOSTILITY ALL CONTRIBUTE TO ELEVATED RISK FACTORS]
[RECOMMENDED ACTION: FIND SHELTER, ACQUIRE RESOURCES, AND PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF NARRATIVE COHERENCE DO NOT PICK A FIGHT WITH ANYONE UNTIL YOU HAVE ACTUAL ABILITIES]
Kevin scrambled to his feet, suddenly very aware of how vulnerable he was. He was in the Marvel Universe. The actual Marvel Universe. Where supervillains attacked on a weekly basis, where alien invasions were Tuesday, and where the average citizen had probably developed PTSD from the sheer amount of collateral damage that occurred around them.
And he had no powers.
Yet.
[SYSTEM SUGGESTION: ENGAGE IN FICTIONAL POWER SCALING DISCOURSE TO ACQUIRE ABILITIES]
[METHOD 1: INTERNAL ARGUMENTATION - Present a logical case to the system regarding why Character A would defeat Goku/Dragon Ball characters. If the argument is sound, receive relevant abilities]
[METHOD 2: EXTERNAL ARGUMENTATION - Engage in debate with other individuals regarding power scaling. Successfully convince them, receive abilities. (BONUS: If the individual is particularly stubborn, receive enhanced abilities)]
[METHOD 3: DEMONSTRATION - When encountering fictional entities from other verses (rare in Marvel, but possible through dimensional shenanigans), demonstrate the truth of power scaling through comparison. Receive relevant abilities]
Kevin took a deep breath.
"Okay," he said out loud, earning strange looks from a few passing pedestrians. "So I just need to... make an argument. Right now. About why someone could beat Goku."
[CORRECT]
[SYSTEM IS LISTENING]
[USER MAY BEGIN WHEN READY]
Kevin thought for a moment. What was the most obvious, most irrefutable argument he could make? Something so airtight that even the most dedicated Goku fanboy couldn't deny it?
His mind went back to the conversation with the Arbiter.
"Okay," he said, speaking quietly so the pedestrians wouldn't think he was completely insane. "Let me explain why Superman, specifically Post-Crisis Superman, would defeat Goku."
[SYSTEM ATTENTION: MAXIMUM]
[ARGUMENTATION PHASE INITIATED]
[SUBJECT: SUPERMAN (POST-CRISIS) VS GOKU (DRAGON BALL SUPER)]
[USER MAY PROCEED]
Kevin cleared his throat.
"Right. So. Post-Crisis Superman. This is the version of Superman that existed from 1986 to 2011, considered by many to be the most balanced and well-defined version of the character. He's not as overpowered as Silver Age Superman or Superman Prime, but he's still Superman."
[CONTEXT ACKNOWLEDGED]
[CONTINUE]
"First, let's establish Goku's capabilities. Dragon Ball Super Goku, at his strongest, has access to Ultra Instinct, which allows him to dodge attacks automatically without conscious thought. He can use ki attacks that have been stated to be powerful enough to potentially destroy universes—though this is shown exactly once, under very specific circumstances, and is never replicated or demonstrated again."
[ANALYSIS: ACCURATE]
[THE UNIVERSAL CLASH BETWEEN GOKU AND BEERUS HAS NEVER BEEN DEMONSTRATED AGAIN, AND BOTH CHARACTERS HAVE GOTTEN SUBSTANTIALLY STRONGER SINCE WITHOUT SIMILAR ENVIRONMENTAL EFFECTS, WHICH SUGGESTS EITHER A CONTINUITY ISSUE OR THAT THE FEAT WAS OVERSTATED]
[CONTINUE]
"Now, Goku's physical striking power is actually much lower than his ki projection capability. Throughout Dragon Ball, characters consistently struggle with physical feats that are far below universal or even planetary. Goku trains with weighted clothes. He struggles against certain physical challenges. His actual punches, while powerful, are demonstrably in the continental range at best, with ki enhancement pushing them higher."
[ANALYSIS: ACCURATE]
[KI AMPLIFICATION IS CONSISTENTLY SHOWN TO REQUIRE CONSCIOUS EFFORT, AND GOKU'S RAW PHYSICAL STATS WITHOUT KI ARE NOTABLY LOWER THAN HIS KI-ENHANCED STATS]
[CONTINUE]
"Superman's physiology is completely different. He absorbs solar radiation, which provides him with effectively unlimited energy. Unlike Goku, who can run out of ki, get tired, and needs to eat massive amounts of food to replenish his energy, Superman's power source is literally everywhere. Standing in sunlight makes him stronger. He has no ki reserves that can be depleted through sustained combat."
[POINT ACKNOWLEDGED]
[CONTINUE]
"Furthermore, Superman's abilities are not limited to physical strength. He has heat vision that operates at stellar temperatures—hot enough to harm beings that exist at cosmic levels. He has freeze breath cold enough to extinguish a sun. He can perceive events at the molecular level and react to them. His super senses alone give him a massive advantage in combat awareness."
[POINT ACKNOWLEDGED]
[CONTINUE]
"But here's the really important part," Kevin said, warming to his argument now. "Superman has consistently fought and defeated beings that are conceptually beyond Goku's weight class. He has resisted reality warpers. He has fought beings that exist beyond time. He has held together the fabric of reality. He has flown fast enough to break the time barrier. And most importantly, he has done all of this while remaining morally consistent and never resorting to 'well if I was REALLY trying' excuses."
[ANALYSIS: ACCURATE]
[CONTINUE]
"Goku, meanwhile, has consistent weaknesses that Superman does not share. Goku is vulnerable to heart disease—he literally died from a heart attack in one timeline. Goku is vulnerable to needles, as shown multiple times throughout the series. Goku's durability is ki-based, meaning that if he's caught off guard, he takes dramatically more damage—this is shown when he's shot by a laser and nearly killed despite being vastly more powerful than the shooter."
[POINT ACKNOWLEDGED]
[THE LASER SCENE IS PARTICULARLY NOTABLE BECAUSE IT DEMONSTRATES THAT GOKU'S DURABILITY IS NOT PASSIVE—HE MUST ACTIVELY MAINTAIN IT]
[CONTINUE]
"Superman's durability is completely passive. He doesn't need to concentrate to be bulletproof. His cells are simply that durable. He can be caught off guard and still tank hits that would destroy planets, because his invulnerability is a physical property, not a technique."
[EXCELLENT POINT]
[CONTINUE]
"In a straight fight, Superman's unlimited energy reserves, passive durability, superior sensory abilities, and demonstrated feats against cosmic-level opponents give him overwhelming advantages. Goku would need to land hits that exceed Superman's durability—which would require him to output energy at levels he has never consistently demonstrated—while also maintaining his own ki-based defenses against Superman's attacks, which include heat vision that operates at temperatures that would vaporize most materials."
[ANALYSIS CONTINUING]
"And even if we give Goku Ultra Instinct, which allows him to dodge automatically, Superman has consistently hit opponents who were faster than him through sheer skill, experience, and tactical acumen. The Flash is faster than Superman, but Superman has tagged him in combat multiple times. Batman, with prep time and knowledge, can hit characters faster than human perception. Ultra Instinct is impressive, but it's not insurmountable, especially for someone with Superman's combat experience."
[POINT ACKNOWLEDGED]
"Final point: Superman wins because narratively, he is designed to win. He is the superhero. He is the original. When the chips are down and everything looks hopeless, Superman finds a way. This is not a weakness in terms of power scaling—it is a strength. Superman's narrative weight means that in any crossover scenario, he has the story on his side."
[ARGUMENTATION PHASE COMPLETE]
[ANALYZING ARGUMENT...]
Kevin held his breath.
[ARGUMENT ASSESSMENT: VALID]
[KEY POINTS:]
[1. Energy Sustainability: Superman's solar absorption vs Goku's finite ki reserves - ACCEPTED]
[2. Passive vs Active Durability: Superman's cellular durability vs Goku's ki-dependent defense - ACCEPTED]
[3. Combat Experience: Superman's history with cosmic-level opponents - ACCEPTED]
[4. Demonstrated Feats: Superman's consistent high-end showings vs Goku's singular/questionable feats - ACCEPTED]
[5. Narrative Weight: Superman as the original superhero - ACKNOWLEDGED BUT NOT DIRECTLY FACTORED INTO ABILITY GRANT]
[ARGUMENT VERDICT: SOUND]
[ABILITY GRANT AUTHORIZED]
Kevin's heart was pounding.
[ABILITY ACQUIRED: SOLAR ENERGY ABSORPTION (BASIC)]
[DESCRIPTION: User can absorb solar radiation to enhance physical capabilities. This is a heavily reduced version of Kryptonian solar absorption, providing:]
[- Enhanced Strength (Approximately 5x human baseline)]
[- Enhanced Durability (Resistant to small arms fire)]
[- Enhanced Speed (Peak Olympic sprinter)]
[- Enhanced Healing (Minor wounds heal in hours rather than days)]
[NOTE: This is a BASIC version of the ability. Make stronger arguments to unlock enhanced versions]
[NOTE 2: The sun is your friend now. Stay in the light]
[FANBOYS CORRECTED: 0 (Internal argumentation does not count toward this counter, but still grants abilities)]
[ABILITIES ACQUIRED: 1]
Kevin stared at the screen, then down at his hands.
He felt... different. Not dramatically so, but there was an energy thrumming through his body that hadn't been there before. Like he'd just chugged three energy drinks, except without the jittery anxiety. He felt good.
I'm actually absorbing solar energy, he realized. I actually have Superman powers. Well. Baby Superman powers. But still!
He clenched his fist experimentally, and a nearby trash can dented slightly from the pressure wave.
Oh god I'm a danger to public property now.
[SYSTEM RECOMMENDATION: PRACTICE CONTROL BEFORE ATTEMPTING FURTHER PHYSICAL EXERTION]
[REMINDER: SOMETHING WILL LIKELY TRY TO KILL YOU IN APPROXIMATELY 2 HOURS AND 47 MINUTES]
[RECOMMEND CONTINUED ARGUMENTATION TO ACQUIRE ADDITIONAL ABILITIES]
Kevin nodded, looking around the grimy Hell's Kitchen street. He needed to find somewhere safe, somewhere he could continue his arguments without looking like a crazy person talking to himself on the street corner.
And then, once he had a few more abilities under his belt, he needed to figure out what to actually do in this universe.
But first—
"System," he muttered under his breath, "let me tell you about why Luffy in Gear Fifth would absolutely demolish Goku."
[SYSTEM ATTENTION: MAXIMUM]
[ARGUMENTATION PHASE INITIATED]
[SUBJECT: MONKEY D. LUFFY (GEAR 5TH) VS GOKU (DRAGON BALL SUPER)]
[USER MAY PROCEED]
Kevin grinned and started walking, his mouth moving quietly as he laid out his case for the system.
Behind him, in the clouds above New York, a small rainbow briefly appeared despite the grey skies.
Somewhere in the multiverse, a cosmic entity that governed power-scaling discourse smiled.
The Prove The Fanboys Wrong System was online.
And Kevin Chen had just begun his absolutely ridiculous adventure.
[END OF CHAPTER 1]
[ABILITIES ACQUIRED THIS CHAPTER: 1]
[SOLAR ENERGY ABSORPTION (BASIC)]
[ARGUMENTS IN PROGRESS: 1]
[MONKEY D. LUFFY (GEAR 5TH) VS GOKU - PENDING]
[NEXT CHAPTER PREVIEW: Kevin discovers the hard way that Hell's Kitchen is called that for a reason, encounters a familiar face in a red suit, and explains to the system why Devil May Cry characters would style on the entire Saiyan race]