The hybrid velociraptor screeched so loudly the leaves shook.
I didn't think.
I didn't plan.
I ran.
"NOPE! NOPE! NOPE! NOT DEALING WITH THIS!"
Branches slapped me in the face. Vines wrapped around my legs. My lungs burned like fire.
Behind me—
THUMP—THUMP—THUMP!
The raptor barreled after me, claws tearing into the dirt.
The system spammed windows in my face like it was a comedy skit.
---
[ALERT!]
You are being hunted.
---
"NO SHIT!"
---
[Threat Level: Very High]
Recommended strategies:
• Running
• Screaming
• Crying
• Accepting your fate
• Using poop
---
"TAKE THAT OFF THE LIST!"
---
[Denied.]
Poop is part of your combat identity.
---
"I SWEAR I'LL DELETE YOU!"
I dove under a fallen log. The raptor jumped over it like nothing.
I grabbed the nearest object — a rock.
I threw it.
It bounced off the raptor's nose like a rubber ball.
It only made the dinosaur angrier.
"Great! I just pissed it off!"
The system chimed again.
---
[Emergency Combat Assistance Available]
Evolution Progress: 15%
Temporary skill available.
Unlock Provisional Skill?
(Y/N)
---
"YES! UNLOCK ANYTHING! HURRY!"
---
[Skill Granted: Primal Nerve Burst]
A five‑second reflex boost.
---
Time slowed.
The raptor lunged.
I dodged under its claws, slid between its legs, and sprinted away at full speed.
"YEAH! I'M STILL ALIVE!"
Then the boost ended.
The raptor screeched.
It lunged again.
I tripped.
It pounced.
The system screamed:
---
[HOST! USE YOUR STRONGEST WEAPON!]
A brown swirl icon appeared.
Mocking me.
---
"No. Not this time—"
---
[USE. YOUR. STRONGEST. WEAPON.]
---
The raptor opened its jaws wide.
I sighed with the exhaustion of a man who had suffered enough.
"…Fine. YOU asked for this."
I reached behind me.
The raptor froze.
Its instincts screamed:
"That brown thing is death."
I swung.
SPLAT.
A direct hit across its snout.
The raptor shrieked so loudly the birds fled the forest.
It rolled on the ground, gagging and twitching, traumatized beyond imagination.
I stood there, horrified.
"…What am I becoming?"
The system pinged:
---
[CRITICAL HIT!]
Poop Strike dealt massive psychological and divine damage.
Target HP remaining: 7%
---
The raptor lay there shaking.
Then, slowly…
Carefully…
It crawled toward me.
Not to attack.
To bow.
It lowered its head to the ground, submitting completely.
I blinked.
"…Are you serious?"
The system vibrated violently:
---
[NEW POSSIBILITY DETECTED!]
Target is attempting submission to avoid future poop‑related death.
Initiate Taming Contract?
(Y/N)
---
The raptor looked up at me with trembling eyes.
It feared my poop more than death itself.
"…This is messed up," I muttered.
But also kinda awesome.
I tapped YES.
A golden light wrapped around the dinosaur.
---
[CONTRACT COMPLETE]
You have tamed: Velociraptor (Hybrid)
Title Earned: Filth‑Touched Beastmaster
Your poop now deals increased intimidation damage to prehistoric creatures.
---
I dropped to my knees.
"I hate this title…"
The raptor gently nudged my shoulder, chirping softly — grateful, loyal, terrified.
"…Stop… don't make this wholesome. You know what I did to you."
It chirped again like an apology.
I sighed.
"Fine. I guess you're with me now."
The raptor bowed again, fully accepting me as its master.