My name is Lucius Dehaviell. A man who has it all through terrible means. My path here was brutal. My reasons started out of what I consider a noble necessity/ It escalated. I became important. Too important. My life is a mess I keep too well controlled. A well oiled machine of bribes, bullying, and playing to society's needs. I'm a villain cause they like me as the villain. They never like it when I play nice. I'm anti-social when I'm nice. I'm social when I'm criminal.
Because I'm manipulating you. All the pieces of the puzzle. I'm not even the strongest yet. But I'm the most influential. Because I'm charismatic, attractive, and dangerous. A terrible triple threat as I am wanted by everyone. For good and bad. And I wish I meant bitches bro. Please send some bitches for my dick, I have blue balls. I swear this shit would be worth it if a girl would deal with my bullshit. They always dump me when they see me suck up to a client even though I kill people and shit.
It's like bitch, he's a fucking coke head. They're always arrogant cause they're a businessman that can snitch and get a lawyer. I gotta play nice to keep the cokehead happy. It's annoying, but the cokeheads make money legitly. Sometimes. And when they do, I hate it the most bro. They're the most arrogant, I swear to God. Even I'm saying in my head "Bitch, I run a gang. If this cokehead doesn't shut up, I'm burying a body tonight." But I play nice. Cause that bitch gives me 80k of his 100k of cash a year to me. Cause I'm the dealer. And he's the player. The legit player who is so high and mighty cause they don't commit crimes. Wahhhhh. Wahhhhhh.
Cry me a river bro, I get it. You're better than me cause you're a legit businessman. And if I wanted to tell the cokehead to go fuck himself, I'd say something like "Hey, does doing a business deal even trigger the dopamine in their head?" They'll get mad cause the dumbass never heard of dopamine. I took a psychology class in high school, so I explain to him he probably ruined all chances of being truly happy cause he's high on coke all the time. Tell him to go play a lootbox game like Diablo, see if he feels anything. Sometimes they kill themselves cause they realize their dopamine receptors are shot, and they can't feel what true happiness for ya.
Let me explain it to ya. You see, the human brain's happiness is basically achievement juice. For videogames, it's simple. Beat a boss, woosh! You're cocky, you're excited, you feel proud of yourself. And it wears off within five seconds, and you're back in the game. For real life, something like a good paycheck makes you happy. That rush when you see your money in your account? Your dopamine receptors fired. They gave you the achievement juice. Fucking sweet, right?
Yeah, coke and crack is that with a 15 minute high. And if you do too much, you lose real happiness and only can be happy with crack, cocaine, and depression pills. Such is life. Isn't life a bitch when you're a drug addict? It happens with everything dude, even weed and liquor. Live life straight kids, you won't end up a addict. Also drop your phone, you'll get addicted to it too. OOP! Too late, you own youtube premium. You're already an addict. We're all addicts, capitalism and society is a bitch. Everyone's selling something pretty, only question is if it's legal or good. TV, Boobs, Cake, it all fucks you up. Especially the drugs. Stay in school kids! Or you'll end up like yours truly! A gangster with no time cause I'm busy maintaining a empire run by drug addicts, old school bullshit out of stories I wish was dead, and fucking kids who can't keep off their phone and keep an eye out for cops! It's fucking horseshit, it's a miracle I'm not in jail every fucking week. I swear, I had to get hitmen just so I wouldn't go to jail. I pay people to do that now cause I'm a pussy about jail. And to be fair, I can handle it. I've got the connections. I could go old school don right now, and just be a prison don with no problem. I can even have a cell phone bro, it ain't shit. I just don't need a pretend fortress, I NEED MONEY! And some fucking bitches, jesus christ, I need a good bitch that won't fucking be a gold digger or get mad I'm a gangster. God, if they ain't into me cause they want a good businessman, it's cause I get shot at one time, and they're out! They're out!
Whatever, I've got more money than problems, and a hoe is a problem cause she'll snitch if I get too high and cheat on her bitch ass! Or worse, a client gets into me. You know, some of these fuckers I have to actually respect are women. And it's annoying. The women's men are more passionate cause they're simps for one! They make more money than me cause the simps are into them! I swear, three bitches I buy drugs from get their men to work for dirt cheap. I swear to god, you know that article about the drug lord that only made $4 an hour when the journalist judged his money? Bro was a simp, he kept giving money to his wife. It was fucking ridiculous, I was like 'No wonder you're broke, fucking simp! She's the one in charge, not you!' And she was, bitch said she was gonna cut my dick off, and suddenly every man and a child had a knife. It was like I was in an illuminati movie, they all were so synchronized.
Anyway, yeah, that's why I bribe the government. The government has an illuminati, and it's annoying. I have to do three layers of subterfuge just to make sure the wrong justice warrior doesn't fucking hack my house and starts fucking with my youtube. Or worse, play the annoying beep all day!
Ah great, the beep went off cause I decided I was gonna fuck with everyone and write a book about my adventures. Cause the town went off again and said we know everything, so I said fuck it, I'm being creative. I'm making a book about how I run this fucking town and making some passive income on it. Fucking elders of this town always make fun of me cause I've got jack shit for passive income besides a fucking steel mill that's a front for growing weed.
YOU DON'T RUN SHIT! Yes I do, fuck you bro. Fucking hacker hacking my word doc, fucking momma's bitch whore.
SHUT UP! I'M DUMPING YOU!
… look, if you're one of my hacker girlfriends, I can explain. I'm just really bored.
So guys, in case I die, let me explain something about hacker girlfriends. A lot of women can hack, and they sometimes never go away. It's fucking awful. And it's the worst if you actually love the hacker. Cause then you just let them fuck with you so they'll forgive you because the hackers are the rudest bitches ever. They just torture you, and if you're smart, you kill the hacker. But if you love the hacker, then apparently you outlast a fucking brain chip they install in your brain to torture you, and make them love you back. It fucking blows, especially cause we ended up in the friendzone. But whatever, she's fun to talk to.
That's my real sin. I'm a Negotiator that can make too much money if he felt like it. I at least integrated with my society, and I swear they love and hate it. I'm too competent and nice when I feel like it. They hate I'm lazy, and want passive income. I swear I heard them make fun of me for not having it, then get mad a young man wanted to have it so he could sit on his ass all day, smoke weed, and play videogames.
I swear to God motherfuckers. I had a weed Dave and Busters right? THEY BURNT IT DOWN CAUSE I WAS BEING TOO LAZY! They told me. It wasn't even gangsters, dudes. It was just regular pricks that are workaholics that figured out my strategies. Cause I ain't gonna lie bro. It was a one man money machine. They fucking hated it, the town tore it down.
The Beeping is louder now, fucking great. I'm taking a break, let's see if the beep stops and if my script is still here. Sometimes they delete my fucking stories. Cause apparently they want a criminal, not a writer. At least, that's how I feel. Either that, or they're just fucking dicks.