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Heaven Can't Handle a Cultivation Playboy

Rowling_King
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Synopsis
They said dual cultivation was sacred. I said it was a great way to die happy. The Celestial Empire had never been whole. Not truly. From the ashes of ancient wars, it had risen—not as one, but as a fractured titan. Five kingdoms stood like towering pillars beneath its name, each vast enough to be its own world, yet bound together by the silk thread of a crumbling imperial mandate. To the south bloomed Xiongtai, the land of mists and perfume In the frozen north, where snow never melted, Wuyin forged strength from suffering. To the east stood Lianzhou , old and unreadable. Westward roared Meilin, a kingdom of mountains and beasts. And at the center of it all, like a rotting jewel in a golden crown, sat Zui, the Imperial Capital. Once home to dragons, divine beasts, and emperors who leveled mountains, it now reeked of silk and corruption.Together, these five kingdoms formed the Celestial Empire. In name only. Even the sky had changed. Once blue and endless, it had become a bleeding canvas of broken light. A thousand years of spiritual warfare had scarred the heavens. And still… the world cultivated. For in this world, weakness was death. The Realms of Cultivation stood like steps on a mountain—each one bloodstained, each one promising power beyond mortal reach. But no one walked that path without blood on their hands. As cultivation deepened, so did corruption. The arts that once healed and harmonized had given birth to techniques traded in shadows—unspoken and forbidden. The sky cracked under the weight of what mortals dared to become. And then— He came. Jian Yu was a highly talented qi cultivator, but nothing ever seemed to entertain him—until he stumbled into the world of dual cultivation. Being the extremist he was, he quickly rose through the ranks. But of course, being the thrill-chaser he was, he eventually grew uninterested—only getting excited when he successfully took the partner of another. But this path was bound to be his downfall. Going after Divine Maidens and leaving unscathed. Sleeping with the Dying Sword Monarch’s daughter. Even going as far as forcefully plucking the Evil Empress’ Yin essence. They said he could seduce with a smile. They said he bedded saints and left them crying. They said he mocked the heavens—and lived. They said he wasn’t even an immortal. For the first time in a thousand years, the five kingdoms united. Not for peace. Not even for power. But for one single goal: > To kill him. Finally—he had bitten off more than he could chew. Jian Yu bedded the Scarlet Monarch’s daughter the day before her arranged marriage… To a warlord!! With anger issues. Now there’s a bounty on his head. A playboy with no real skill outside the bed. He was caught. Surrounded by foes on Unhinged Cliff—his usual go-to place when things got too hot. “So this is how it ends, right?” he muttered, bloodied and battered. “You’ve all made me look like the villain, right!?” he said as he stared at the Evil Empress. “You… You castrated five hundred men just for the fun of it,” he said, hands trembling, pointing at her. “But that wouldn’t matter since you have your title protecting you!” Finally, something snapped inside him. “Are you all dumb? Don’t you ask yourselves why none of my victims ever placed a charge—even after how terrible my crimes looked?” “If I’m going to die here… I might as well go out with a blast,” he said, drawing intricate patterns in the air. But his luck—always unfair—betrayed him again. “Father! No!” a feminine voice screamed from behind. The Scarlet Monarch acted fast. And as Jian Yu turned to the face behind the scream, his eyes—once blazing with anger—mellowed into calm. And then, a smile. He was headed. But it seemed life still had other plans for him. After going through rebirth Jian Yu awakens with a new much more handsome body... His goal? To get back at the evil empress and make her sacred hole leak, while leaving a better enviable life
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Chapter 1 - THE WOMB OF ASHES

"Where… the hell… am I?" Jian Yu muttered, vividly remembering how his head had been decapitated from his neck.

Looking around, all he could see was darkness.

"Am I in the underworld?" he said in a low voice.

"What the f*ck? I just had a bad day and ended up in hell!?"

"Oh my god…"

"All this is that Zaoh Shen's fault. I gave your daughter a good time, but nooo! That wasn't good enough for you. You had to cut my head off."

"So much for saving a damsel in distress."

"Alright, who's in charge of this pit? I'm ready for my punishment. Let's get it over with. It's getting boring here already," he said as he yawned, stretching his hands out.

"And I thought hell might be fun. Now I feel disappointed."

Suddenly, a voice answered—soft, feminine, cold.

"You are in the Realm of Womb Ashes. And you… are trespassing."

He spun around toward the voice and saw the source.

She stood at what seemed like the edge of the void—barefoot, her robes sheer, crimson, flowing like smoke. Her hair glowed silver, eyes like molten garnet. A disciple's token hung around her neck, etched with runes that pulsed like a heartbeat.

"I take back my words. Hell isn't boring anymore," Jian Yu smiled.

"Even after death—and in just your soul form—you're hitting on me?"

Looking down at his body, he saw nothing. His being was just a mildly lit orb with a translucent structure.

"What the hell!?" Jian Yu cursed out loud, clearly oblivious to the state he was in.

"I don't have time for all this, so shut the fuck up. I'll just go straight to the point. Your soul is alive, and all wandering souls come back to the Womb of Ashes. But your body is gone, so your soul will be transmigrated into another body that's close to the brink of death."

"Do you understand? Yeah. And before I forget, you owe us twenty-five million spirit stones. You have to pay within a hundred years."

"And if I don't? You'll come bundle me up? Ooh, I can't wait," Jian Yu smirked with a wicked smile.

"Oh, if you decide not to pay up, we'll destroy your soul," she sneered, snapping her fingers. From the dark void, a furnace appeared. "Yeah. It'll be destroyed in that furnace. Just pay what you owe."

"Just find the Crimson Soul pavilion. That's all."

"Of course. I'll cross the ends of the earth just to look into your eyes one more time," Jian Yu said with a seductive smile.

On hearing his remark, her eyebrows furrowed—not in anger, but amusement. Never had she met someone so brazen.

Cutting her thoughts short, Jian Yu smiled. "What might your name be?"

"Qi Rou," she responded.

"Qi Rou? Qi Rou… if it's in your power, can you send me into a wealthy, handsome body? So I can easily come and pay back, yeah?" he said, clasping his hands together.

"You're just unbelievable. No one has ever made demands like that before. Fine, I'll send your soul to a region where you're likely to be lucky and land in a wealthy family. But the handsome part? That'll be up to your luck. We can only direct the soul."

Jian Yu clicked his tongue in frustration. "With the kind of luck I've had today, I'm not expecting anything good."

He sighed, then turned to Qi Rou with a teasing smile. "Alright then, I owe you one. Stay as stunning as ever, Qi Rou. I should probably look away now before I get lost staring into those crimson eyes of yours."

He winked playfully, then shut his eyes.

As one of the elders of the crimson soul pavilion, she rarely gets seen talk less about getting complemented. 

"Alright, I'll hold you to your word," Qi Rou said with a small smile, shaking her head playfully. She then snapped her fingers—and in an instant, a warm wave of energy surged around him.

Jian Yu felt it immediately.

The change was so sudden and unnatural, his eyes snapped open. But what he saw next made his breath catch.

He was no longer in the dark void. Instead, he found himself lying in a soft bed, covered with fine white linen. 

 

He pulled it off slowly, revealing that he was now dressed in a luxurious silk robe. The room around him was elegant, clearly expensive, and filled with trays of herbs, medicines, and tonics.

Before he could even try to make sense of it, a sudden stabbing pain exploded in his skull. His hands shot to his temples as wave after wave of memories crashed into his mind. It was overwhelming—images, voices, feelings—memories that didn't belong to him.

He groaned and gritted his teeth through the pain, until at last… it stopped.

Panting, Jian Yu blinked. The memories settled. These weren't his—no, they belonged to the original owner of this body.

"So... his name was Jian Lou?" he muttered under his breath, still disoriented.

According to what he'd just seen, Lou Jian was the sole heir of a powerful and well-respected merchant family. His life had been simple… until it was stolen. Poisoned—rendered deaf, mute, and paralyzed—all by the hands of his father's newly wedded wife. A cultivator. A snake. She had married into the family for their wealth and struck when no one suspected.

"Tch… what a disgraceful way to go," Jian Yu muttered as he sat up—only to stumble right back into the bed. His legs were weak, trembling under his own weight.

"Damn it… even the doctors are in on it," he muttered, eyeing the herbal trays laid before him.

At first glance, the herbs seemed harmless—beneficial, even. But he knew better. With the right (or wrong) combination, they could be mixed into slow-acting toxins designed to corrode the muscles from within.

He recognized this setup all too well. As a former apprentice to the royal physician, he'd learned about these very mixtures. And sure, he hadn't exactly gotten the position through honest means—he'd played dirty. 

But it had saved his life more than once. Including the time he'd used forbidden techniques to overpower the evil empress while still at the fourth level of the Nascent Soul realm.

Now, none of that mattered.

Jian Yu examined his body carefully… and his heart sank.

No core.

No spirit vein.

No cultivation base.

He was a mortal again.

He sighed deeply. "Are you kidding me? I have to start from scratch?" he muttered. "What kind of shit luck is this?"

Still, he forced out a laugh—half bitter, half amused. "And I have to hurry... Who knows what that filthy woman has planned for Jian Lou's father."

Oddly enough, that thought made him care.

Jian Yu had never known family. No warmth. No loyalty. But Jian Lou… he had. Even if his life had ended in betrayal, there had been love.

Maybe this is the heavens making up for what I never had... he thought. A second chance... and a family to protect.

He made a promise to himself in that moment—he wouldn't treat this new life lightly. Not anymore. But first… he had to survive.

Using his arms to support himself, he slowly adjusted his legs into a lotus position. Closing his eyes, he began to chant a cultivation mantra—the most basic one he knew—and guided the little qi in the air toward his body.

Time crawled.

Three hours passed.

And then… success. A soft pulse echoed in his core. The first level of the Body Refining Realm.

He didn't stop. He couldn't.

With determination in his veins, he pressed forward, refining his qi and reinforcing the newly formed nebula within his dantian. He cultivated without rest for three full days, the soft hum of energy becoming the only constant in his mind.

By the end of the third day, he'd reached the fifth level of the Body Refining Realm. The changes were evident—his skin looked healthier, the pale hue replaced with a soft glow. The sickly fragility of his frame had been replaced by a solid vitality.

Swinging his legs off the bed, he stood again. This time, they held firm.

He hopped in place—once, twice. Steady.

Then suddenly, his stomach growled violently.

He blinked and chuckled. "Shit… when was the last time I felt hungry?"

So exhausting, he thought as he rubbed his belly.

But just then—

BANG!

The door swung open with a loud crack.

And someone stepped inside.

Author note: 

like it then add it to library. And don't forget to leave a power stone, I will be motivated and happy if you do that

I'm