Min Jiwon was officially thirty years old today.
She celebrated this grand milestone the only way a true corporate slave could: with cold convenience store kimbap, a dented can of peach soju, and the glowing light of her cracked phone screen showing the newest chapter of her favorite trashy romance novel.
"Ugh, again with this prince!" she groaned, jabbing the screen with her thumb. "He cheats, lies, kills an innocent girl, and then the saintess still marries him? Girl, grow a spine!"
Slumped on her tiny couch in her even tinier studio apartment, Jiwon let the phone drop on her face.
Thunk.
"…Ow."
She didn't move.
This was her life now. Wake up, go to work, eat trash, read fantasy romance, pass out. Rinse, repeat. No boyfriend, no friends (everyone got married or moved on), and not even a pet to greet her at the door.
She didn't even have a family, she grew at a run down orphanage, the source of all her current problems. Her boss yelled at her for breathing too loudly, the neighbor upstairs tap-danced at 3 a.m., and her air fryer had exploded last week.
"Happy birthday to me," she muttered, chugging the last of her soju straight from the can.
With a sigh, she grabbed her blanket and wrapped it around herself like a sad burrito. "At least Rosaria gets all the hot guys... even if they're all walking red flags."
She closed her eyes, letting the buzz of alcohol lull her into a haze.
Then—
BOOM.
Blinding, sparkly light flooded the room like someone set off a glitter bomb in her eyeballs.
Jiwon shrieked. "AHHH MY RETINAS—!"
Floating in the air was... a small, winged cat? No—was that a halo?
"Ahem!" The creature held its chin high, eyes closed, tail flicking dramatically. "Rejoice, pitiful mortal! I am Riri, a celestial-grade system assigned to guide thee through thy noble reincarnation! You have been select—ACK!"
A pillow smacked Riri straight in the face mid-monologue.
"Shut off the disco ball! I have work tomorrow, you weird hallucination!" Jiwon shouted, shielding her eyes with the blanket. "Note to self: no more expired soju!"
Riri floated there, stunned. Then a twitch formed above her left eye. A bright red, throbbing vein popped on her tiny forehead.
"How dare hit the cute and intelligent riri?? I knew I should not work with middle aged wome—"
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING MIDDLE-AGED?!" Jiwon launched another pillow with the force of a thousand regrets. "DO I LOOK MARRIED WITH TWO KIDS TO YOU?!"
"I SAID WHAT I SAID!" Riri dodged, puffing up like an angry pompom. "You're thirty! No love life! No first kiss! You've been officially labeled 'romantic deadwood!'"
"WHY YOU—!" Jiwon dove at her like a drunk kung fu master. "COME HERE YOU LITTLE FURRY DISCO BALL—!"
"STOP!! I'M A LICENSED SYSTEM! I HAVE RIGHTS!"
The two tangled in midair—well, sort of. Jiwon flailed wildly while Riri zipped around screaming, trying not to get grabbed.
Blankets flew. Soju cans clattered. At one point Jiwon bit her own toe by mistake.
Eventually, panting, she collapsed back onto the couch, hair a mess and eyes wild.
Riri hovered warily near the ceiling. "…Are you done?"
Jiwon glared. "No."
"But you've run out of pillows."
"…Fine."
A beat of silence passed.
Jiwon sighed and massaged her temple. "Okay, sparkly gremlin. Explain slowly, what do you want?."
Riri huffed and flicked her tail. "You've been selected for the Unloved Woman Reincarnation Program."
"…The what now."
"You have reached the 'Romantic Expiration Threshold' with zero love achievements unlocked. So, as part of a special initiative, you qualify for transmigration into a fantasy world of your choosing, where you may finally experience love, adventure, and glowing skin."
Jiwon stared. "This is the weirdest scam I've ever hallucinated."
"It's not a scam!" Riri pointed a tiny paw at her. "We're here to give women like you a second chance at love! You've dedicated your whole life to a system that gives you nothing back!"
"Okay wow," Jiwon muttered, "didn't ask to be emotionally annihilated, thanks."
"You fall asleep crying to novels five nights a week."
"That's private!"
Riri twirled in the air. "Well guess what, birthday girl? You get a reset. Pick your fantasy world, and you'll wake up there tomorrow. New face, new name, clean slate."
Jiwon blinked. Her eyes drifted to her dark apartment. The empty sink. The moldy rice cooker. The half-unpacked moving box she hadn't touched in two years.
"…Any world?"
"Any you've read."
She thought for a moment.
"The Holy Saintess and Her Knights."
Riri raised a brow. "The one with the three toxic love interests and the tragic villainess?"
"That's the one."
"You wanna be the villainess?"
"No," Jiwon said. Then she smirked. "I want to be the saintess. And I'm gonna give the villainess the happy ending she deserves."
"…That's not how the plot goes."
"Screw the plot."
Riri grinned. "Now you're talking."
The room began to glow again. This time, it felt warm.
"Goodbye, tax deadlines," Jiwon whispered as her eyes fluttered shut. "And good riddance... Excel."
---
When Jiwon woke up, everything was... wrong.
First of all, her bed was way too soft.
Second, her ceiling was way too high, and made of wood (?).
Third—birds, real ones. Chirping outside her window.
She shot up in bed, eyes wide.
Sunlight poured in through sheer curtains. The air smelled like fresh bread and flowers. Her body felt different—lighter, smoother. Her hair tumbled down her shoulders in soft waves, a glowing like the first rays of the sunrise.
"Okay…" she muttered, staring at her tiny, dainty hands. "I either got reincarnated or kidnapped by a cult."
"Good morning~!" Riri chimed, floating through the window like she owned the place.
Jiwon blinked. Then screamed.
"NOPE! I CHANGED MY MIND! TAKE ME BACK! I CAN STILL MAKE MY QUARTERLY REPORT!"
Too late. The door creaked open.
And a voice called gently, "Lady Rosaria? The priests are here to escort you to the capital."
Rosaria Ellis had officially entered the story.
And she had no idea what she was doing.