Part of this book has been published here before. I was often asked, "criticized," that it should have many more paragraphs to make it more readable. Something I didn't understand at first. I processed and read what I published on a large screen, and everything looked fine there.
That was until I was sitting on the train and, out of curiosity, reread a chapter that I thought I had forgotten a detail in. This time on my cell phone. Then it immediately became clear to me what the problem was.
Long paragraphs and long dialogues may not be such a problem on a PC or laptop screen. But it's a damn annoying problem on the smaller screen of a tablet or cell phone.
I tried to solve this problem by working in shorter paragraphs and interrupting my dialogues, which can indeed be quite long, more often, so that the whole thing becomes more readable. I did this by inserting subtle interruptions. Or by having characters who were actually listeners to a dialogue or rambling of my protagonist break up the flow of words in an innocent and logical way. On the one hand, by making a side comment and, on the other hand, by adding an appropriate addition to the dialogue.
This changed the tone of the story itself. And that in itself gave me more room to highlight the story, the background, and the personal connections between the characters. Something I hope I have succeeded in doing, and would give this new version a better chance of reaching a wider audience.
Give it a chance, enjoy it, and as usual, I am always open to advice and suggestions.
Sandro Romanov