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Naruto: Winning Over Every Kunoichi

Omnis_0438
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Synopsis
Warning: This story contains taboo themes, explicit language, and mature content. Reader discretion is advised. In the ninja world… everyone fights, struggles, dreams big. But not Naruto Uzumaki. He doesn’t give a damn. No goals. No responsibilities. No bullshit. Just laying back, relaxing, and stuffing his mouth with grilled gigolos while his other hand explores something… softer. Naruto isn’t a hero. He’s a lazy bastard with a smirk—and stamina from hell. Rasengan? That one-handed spinning ball technique? Let’s just say his fingers do better work on a kunoichi’s body than on chakra. Shunshin? The perfect escape jutsu… or the fastest way into the women’s bathhouse. His Uzumaki bloodline? Endless chakra. Endless energy. Endless f*cks to give—literally. Tailed beasts, Sannin, Kage, rich heiresses… They all try to resist. They all fail. Because when Naruto comes, he doesn’t come alone. He brings thunder… and moans. They say he’s a disgrace to the shinobi code. But when they're on their knees, gasping, trembling under his touch… They call him a god.
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Chapter 1 - Uzumaki Naruto

"Look, that child…"

"Blonde hair, blue eyes, and whisker marks…"

"Is that him?"

"The demon fox…"

"I wonder what the Third Hokage was thinking, leaving that kind of guy in the Village."

"Shh, don't speak ill of him!"

After a suffocating silence, someone suddenly, sourly, threw out another remark: "He's not bad-looking, though…"

On Konoha's streets, Naruto walked through the crowd that shunned him like a plague, showing no reaction to the almost undisguised 'whispers'.

Naruto didn't care about the hateful gazes of these ignorant people, or rather, he didn't care about anyone in this world.

As long as they didn't jump in front of him, he couldn't be bothered with how much these people hated him.

As a transmigrator, Naruto just wanted to live this life peacefully and easily.

Given his sensitive identity as the Nine-Tailed Jinchuriki, achieving this goal was a bit difficult, but not a big problem; he had a cheat.

Ignoring the hateful or disgusted gazes of passersby, Naruto focused his attention on the system panel that only he could see.

'Negative buff detected: Ugliness. Removed.'

'Negative buff detected: Ashura Chakra. Effect: Intelligence reduction. Removed! Gained Ashura Sage Body, Wood Release…'

'Negative buff detected: Chakra disorder. Removed! Gained Nine-Tailed Chakra.'

'Negative buff detected: Uzumaki Kushina Chakra. Effect: Will influence risk. Removed! Gained Uzumaki Bloodline, Uzumaki Sealing Jutsu, Kagura Mind's Eye, Adamantine Sealing Chains…'

'Negative buff detected: Minato Namikaze Chakra. Effect: Will influence risk. Removed! Gained Chakra Cultivation Technique, Three Body Technique, Body Flicker Technique, Rasengan, Flying Thunder God, Uzumaki Sealing Jutsu…'

'Negative buff detected: Chakra disorder. Removed! Gained Nine-Tailed Chakra.'

'Negative buff detected: Chakra disorder…'

Emmm… This system is a look-supremacist.

Calling it a system, it was actually just a modifier that could eliminate negative buffs, from a pirated game he played before transmigrating.

Originally, its function was very singular: it could only eliminate negative buffs.

However, after transmigrating, it seemed to have a bug because it couldn't process these external energies, directly feeding back all the energy and abilities possessed by the buffs to Naruto himself in a copy-paste manner.

The abilities were both strong and weak.

First, someone had to forcefully infuse his body with external energy.

This is why it worked out after transmigrating into Naruto; if it were anyone else, such a heaven-sent start would be impossible.

Also, don't be fooled by the many skills given; in reality, there are very few usable ones.

Because more difficult jutsu require stronger Chakra control, and Chakra control is judged as operation by the system, not a skill.

Right now, Naruto can't even perform hand signs, let alone Chakra control!

He claps his hands and nothing happens, his fingers are stiff like tree branches, and he has no combat experience whatsoever.

At most, he can barely use the Three Body Technique, or rely on his Bloodline power and vast Chakra to create a miracle, like playing with a dog leash.

Beyond that, the only other usable ability was Kagura Mind's Eye, a sensory Ninjutsu.

This was like a great beauty posing seductively on the bed, only to look down and realize she was only three years old; willing but unable…

However, Naruto wasn't too bothered; after all, the skill points were already unlocked, how long could it take to learn Chakra control?

It's worth mentioning that Kurama seemed to be judged as a positive buff, so it wasn't removed.

However, the Nine-Tailed Chakra that seeped out to erode the seal and interfere with Naruto's Chakra was judged as a negative buff, and every last drop was fed back to Naruto.

And because of the bug that also copied abilities, he inherited the characteristics of the Nine-Tailed Chakra.

In other words, Naruto is now a humanoid Tailed Beast, and this Chakra is growing stronger day by day as Kurama persistently erodes the seal!

What a hardworking fox, Kurama!

Facing such a heaven-sent start, Naruto naturally decided to just coast along.

He lay in that dilapidated small apartment for three years straight, until some impatient individuals removed his caretaker. Only then did Naruto step out of his room for the first time and onto the streets of Konoha.

It was interesting that despite not leaving his door for three years, his identity was exposed as soon as he went out. Naruto felt that those old geezers in the higher-ups truly took him for an idiot.

But he didn't care; his current abilities weren't enough to use the Flying Thunder God, but once his Chakra control proficiency improved in a couple of years, he could just leave in a flash.

What can you do if you don't like me?

I just love the way you don't like me, yet can't do anything about me~

Walking brazenly down the street, Naruto attracted countless gazes.

Among them were hatred, hostility, and also some people who didn't know his identity but were amazed by his good looks.

After removing the so-called 'ugliness' buff, Naruto found his appearance becoming more and more like his cheap old man's: a slender, delicate oval face, long and sharp eyes. The whisker marks didn't affect his looks at all, but rather added a touch of allure.

(Between the manga version of Naruto from Shippuden and Minato; the anime version's wide face and flat chin are unacceptable. The original manga was not affected by the forehead protector at all.)

Facts prove that all that talk about forehead protectors sealing good looks and whisker marks affecting appearance is complete nonsense! Kakashi wore a mask his whole life and it didn't affect his handsomeness.

The original Prince was actually quite handsome, with a masculine and vigorous appearance, but because he inherited Kushina's face shape and eye shape, he always seemed a bit clumsy, with a clear foolishness.

Plus, his sense of style… like the saying goes, you only know who's swimming naked when the tide goes out. Compared to Minato, Kakashi, and Sasuke, the Prince couldn't really be called a great handsome man.

Naruto wasn't very concerned about his looks, after all, he was already not bad-looking to begin with, but the feeling of 'you don't like me, yet you have to admit I'm handsome' was quite interesting.

After circling the Village and accumulating enough hatred, Naruto finally found a secluded forest near the back mountain.

With Kagura Mind's Eye activated, ignoring the tail following him, two chains flew out from his back with a wild momentum, rushing into the jungle, and soon returned with two adorable rabbits pierced through.

Arriving at the small river, he used the sharp tip of the chain to cut open the fur on the rabbits, then the chains dissipated, and Naruto awkwardly cleaned the rabbit meat and organs.

And then, he made a fire and roasted the rabbits.

The process wasn't difficult; he had a lighter at home and brought some salt when he left. Soon, an enticing aroma of roasted meat wafted through the forest.

He tore off a rabbit leg, blew on it, and took a bite. The meaty flavor exploded on his taste buds, and Naruto felt instantly satisfied.

"Not bad."

A bright smile appeared on his pretty little face. The warm autumn sun filtered through the dappled leaves, casting a beautiful glow on the boy, making the scene exceptionally lovely.

Naruto ate with great relish, but someone else couldn't sit still.

Inside the Hokage's office, Hiruzen Sarutobi looked at the scene in the crystal ball, his face filled with astonishment.

As the Third Hokage, he naturally had to pay attention when the Jinchuriki first appeared before the villagers.

When he saw that Naruto was not only unafraid of the villagers' hateful gazes but instead displayed a calmness unbefitting his age, although it didn't quite match his expectations, he wasn't too surprised and even felt a little relieved.

After all, he was Minato's son; it was only natural for him to be intelligent and sensitive. However, in that case, subsequent measures regarding the Jinchuriki would need careful consideration; at the very least, they couldn't be so obvious as to treat him like a fool.

It wasn't until he saw the Adamantine Sealing Chains that Hiruzen Sarutobi's head suddenly buzzed.

Something bad has happened!

The Uzumaki Clan, as distant relatives of the Senju Clan, also possessed Chakra and vitality far exceeding ordinary people, and their characteristics were even more distinct than those of the Senju Clan.

But the problem was, the Uzumaki Clan was not a Bloodline Limit family!

(Official setting: Uzumaki is not a Bloodline Limit; it neither possesses Chakra affinity nor organ mutation abilities, so it can only be considered a special physique. Of course, if you argue, you are right.)

In other words, abilities like Adamantine Sealing Chains and Kagura Mind's Eye are not Bloodline Limits that can be naturally awakened, but rather special jutsu unique to the Uzumaki Clan, created based on immense vitality and Chakra reserves!

So the question is, who taught Naruto this jutsu?

Danzo?

The face of a certain pot-stirrer flashed through Hiruzen Sarutobi's mind, then he shook his head, dismissing the idea.

It's possible, but not very likely.

Based on his understanding of his old friend, while destroying his bond with the Jinchuriki would make him happy, a Jinchuriki who could perfectly control the Tailed Beast's power was definitely not what he wanted.

Moreover, Naruto had been under his surveillance for the past three years, and Root's reach hadn't extended to Naruto.

Could it be… Kushina left Chakra inside Naruto?

At this thought, Hiruzen Sarutobi's expression immediately turned grim.

If that were true, Naruto might already know about his parentage, as if Kushina could leave Chakra, Minato naturally could too.

This would also explain why Naruto ignored the villagers…

Hiruzen Sarutobi believed Minato could guide Naruto well, preventing him from taking any drastic actions. However, no one, upon learning they are the child of a hero, would feel good about being treated with coldness, let alone Naruto who is only three years old. He would inevitably harbor resentment.

It's still unclear where Naruto's Adamantine Sealing Chains came from, but if it was indeed passed down by Kushina, then it's certainly not suitable for him to appear before Naruto now.

"Go call Shikaku!"

Inside the office, Hiruzen Sarutobi pondered for a moment, then gave the order.