The sound of hoofbeats grew louder, and so did his heart beat. Thump-thump the heart banged against his chest and his gaze fell to the hands grasping the reins.
Those hands…tender like…uh…chicken wings, pale like a ghost, slim like a green onion and…he ran out of praises.
Not because he was illiterate, but because those hands like—ugh! Those hands like whatever now whipped the horse harshly to march forward, heading towards him, Elder Yu. The sound of the hoofbeats yet again grew louder, so loud he could feel his ears beating to rhyme with it. The four-legged beast of a brown horse, and perched on it, a lady of forty, together gave chase to the white haired dude Elder Yu was.
Why?
To beat the hell outta the old guy for visiting a courtesan on his marriage anniversary, all while his wife stared at the doors, hoping to have a round of wine with her husband. Failed as his brain was, Elder Yu struggled to recall his own birthday, how would he remember his marriage anniversary? Nevertheless, the wife had now shedded her soft skin to reveal the tigress beneath. With another slap on the horse's buttock, she dashed faster. The leather whip appeared to gleam brighter as she raised her hand and aimed for the target.
The scene was truly spectacular. All the neighbors, with the bowls in their hands stuffed with food, gawked at the deer as he clumsily raised his robes with one hand and ran from the tigress. No one breathed a word of interruption. Why would they? Why waste a cent on plays when the drama came right at their doorsteps for free?
It wasn't something new anyway. Dirty ol' guy deserved the beating. Which wife wouldn't be angry if her husband took a Missy every week? So, thinking it was justified; as long as the Ol' guy wasn't beaten to paralysis, they kept quiet.
On the field, it seemed the deer had finally reached his limits. How long could his ancient knees support his popped-out belly? He soon slumped face-first onto the ground. He had no other choice than to resort to buttering up his wife. At once, he sat up and took in a large amount of air and screamed from the top of his lunges:
"I love you, Darling! Yer ma heart, ma pulse, ma wine and m‐"
A thunderous sound echoed in the whole neighborhood. Those who weren't out yet, poked their heads out the window. The madam had finally struck her husband on the shoulder with the whip. She glared down at her husband, who fell onto the ground once again before he could let out a scream.
All the neighbors sucked in cool air in anticipation. Was that it? Would the Elder finally divorce his wife? Or worse…would he repent for his crimes and enter his arc of redemption? The blow looked stronger this time.
They all held up their hands and began counting on their fingers. The Elder took ten fingers of counting to sit up usually. If feeling dramatic, he'd take at most twenty-five fingers of counting.
Twenty-three…
Twenty-four…
Twenty-five…
…
Twenty-seven…?
…
Thrity-one…?
Why wasn't he waking up? He should've been hugging the thighs of his wife with a snotty nose by now. What happened?
Soon the silence dissolved into murmurs. The wife also noticed something was amiss today. She dismounted the horse and knelt beside her husband and flipped him to face her. No twisting on his face. Her eyebrows drew closer as she slowly brought her hand near his nose. No breathing. Her eyes widened in an instant as she hurriedly felt the pulse of her husband. Why wasn't his heart beating?!
Frantically, she pumped his chest, then drew near to hear his heart, and began to pump again. When it didn't work, she cupped his face in her hands and blew air into his mouth. But nothing seemed to work!
Was…was her husband actually…
B-but, the loud sound she made was only her whipping a small drum she'd carried on the horse, she hadn't actually hit her husband with much force…How could he?!
As if gone mad, she raised her hand to slap her own face violently, again and again. The neighbors couldn't miss it either. They rushed to bring the physician as soon as they could.
As it turned out, the Elder had been so certain of his death today—he hopped up to Heavens even before the whip landed on him.
***
Yu Ming felt as if a thousand bees were roaring in his ears…no…he felt as if those bees were literally inside his head. Aside from the buzzing in his head, he could hear a jumbled mess of incoherent mumbles adding to the pain. Was that crazy woman still waiting with a whip? Should he open his eyes? Would it be better if he played dead?
As the noise in his head cleared up gradually, he realised that his surroundings weren't as loud as he expected them to be…it was actually too quiet. He couldn't hear his wife's taunting. He lifted his head up while chewing nonexistent food in a haze, then looked around himself.
...Four red wooden walls, red curtains, red carpet, red cusions…why was everything red?
Hmm…even his robes were red…they just weren't the type he usually wore…
He lazily turned his head to try and find out something that wasn't red. And oh, the golden charms adorning the two tiny doors weren't red. The rims of his robes were golden too. His bangles, too, were red with golden rims—
Wait…bangles?