"He's not coming to breakfast is he?" I ask. I'm leaning on the door of the dining hall, not sure if I want to go in.
Not sure if I could even eat anything if I tried.
Aisha left her half eaten bowl of fruit to come speak to me.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, having to creep back to my cabin naked last night or the look of pity on Aisha's face right now.
"He left early this morning. Before sunrise."
"Of course," I huff.
"If it's any consolation he didn't say goodbye to me either. He just left me a note saying he had to get back to meet with his father."
I roll my eyes. "Wow, a note. That's big of him."
"Look, Max. I know things haven't turned out the way you wanted––" "I didn't even want to be here!"
"I know."
"It isn't fair. This whole stupid festival is messed up." I'm acting like a toddler who's been told he can't have ice cream, so I'm surprised when Aisha reaches out and takes my hand.
"You're right," she says. "It isn't fair. And for the record, I'm not proud of how my friend is behaving."
There's a sharpness to her voice I haven't heard before.
"And I know you didn't ask for any of this. So I can see where you're coming from."
I sigh and rub my sneaker against the back of my leg.
"But I'm glad that you came to the festival. Even if you aren't."
"Why?" I ask, finally looking her in the eye.
"Because if you hadn't come I wouldn't have gotten to meet you.
You're a cool guy, Maximilian. I'm glad we met."
A small patch of warmth, about the size of a quarter, starts to thaw my frozen heart.
Aisha reaches into her back pocket and pulls out a folded-up piece of notepaper.
"Here," she says. "I'm not the alpha's son so this might not be the phone number you were hoping for. But if you ever want to hang in the city just give me a text."
I take the paper, feeling the smoothness of it between my fingers, and grin.
"Thanks, Aisha, I'm glad we met too."
She takes a step back, raises an eyebrow, and purses her lips like she's appraising me.
"You're gonna be fine," she says. "You're a tough kid."
I drop my shoulders and exhale.
"So tough, just don't put me anywhere near a spider."
"Definitely not," she says dryly, shaking her head. "Hey, what time is it?"
I pull out my phone.
"Nearly 9."
"My ride is probably waiting," she says.
"You're leaving already?" I ask.
"Sorry, dude. I know people like to hang around but I have to get home and sort my life out. I'm back in rehearsal tomorrow. What about Katie? Where's she?"
"I think she already has plans." Her and Todd are probably off somewhere exchanging promise rings.
Aisha squeezes my arm. "Keep your chin up, okay."
"I will," I say, not so convincingly.
"Promise," she says.
"I promise."
"Good." Aisha spins to head off but looks back over her shoulder.
"Hey, Max. He doesn't know what he's missing."
She waves one more time then leaves. I stand in the doorway, arms crossed, hoping the rest of the day goes quickly.
After managing to eat a whole rasher of bacon I head back to my cabin, ignoring the tearful goodbyes and lingering hugs happening all around me.
Walking through camp feels like traipsing through school on the last day of term.
The Elite Coast Pack is essentially the same size as New York, so...big. Meaning a lot of the new couples here are going to have to figure out how to do long-distance for a while.
Everywhere I look someone else is crying while they exchange phone numbers or clutching their new mate as if the world is ending..
At least I don't have to go through all that.
A day ago I wouldn't have been surprised to see Eleanor begging people to sign her yearbook. But she's nowhere to be seen. I guess not finding your mate is a real school-spirit killer.
I feel in my pocket for the scrap of paper with Aisha's cell number on it. The one good thing to come out of this festival.
Once I'm back inside my cabin I'm shocked when Simon pulls me in for a big bro-hug.
"It's been a pleasure, man!" he says, ruffling my hair and acting like he wasn't the walking dead just yesterday. He's downright chirpy. Maybe he's just as glad as me to be leaving this mosquito farm. Or maybe it's easier to move on from losing your mate than I thought. I can only hope!
I take my time packing and pop down to the lake once more before it's finally time to go. Despite never really wanting to be here, I have to admit this view is everything.
At long last my phone pings. It's Mom telling me she's waiting in the parking lot.
I shrug my bag over my shoulder and make my way through the cabins, keeping an eye out for Katie. I haven't seen her all morning but I promised her Mom we'd drive her back so I need to find her.
When I pass her cabin I walk past a couple making out against the wall and do a double-take.
Katie!
Todd has my best friend pressed up against the wooden beams and is exploring her molars with his tongue.
I cough as loud as I can to get her attention. Once, twice, and finally, on my third cough, she pries herself away from Todd's octopus-sucker-lips.
Her mouth is so red it looks like she's smudged lipstick all over her face.
"Mom's here," I say, "I'll give you guys a second to say goodbye."
I turn my back to give them some privacy and want to plug my ears with cotton wool at the stream of cutesy pet names that follow.
"I'm going to miss you sooooo much, schmoopsie-bear," Katie coos.
"I'm going to miss you, even more, angel-cake princess. Call me the second you get home."
The cute names stop, replaced by the even more irksome wet, smacking sounds of making out. I wait as long as I can stand.
"Mom says she's leaving without us if we don't go now," I say, spinning around and taking Katie's hand. "Nice to meet you, Todd."
I literally have to pull Katie away from his grope-y sausage fingers.
"I'll text you when I get to the car!" Katie calls back.
When we're a little distance from the camp, and Katie has stopped turning to look behind her, I nudge her side.
"You happy then?" I ask.
"Oh Max," she says. "I wish you'd found your mate so you could know what it feels like."
Katie leans her head on my shoulder and sighs contentedly.
"Yeah," I say, "same."
As we crest the hill I spot my Mom in the distance and roll my eyes when she starts waving frantically.
"Somebody looks happy," she says, raising her eyes at the state of Katie.
"Oh, Mrs. Remus. This must be how you felt when you met Mr.
Remus. Isn't it wonderful?"
Honestly, I wouldn't have been surprised if someone thought she was completely wasted. I guess that's what Beyonce meant by 'drunk in love'.
"It's incredibly special," Mom says, as Katie slides into the back seat. "I don't ever remember my face looking like that though."
I can't help giggling at my Mom's joke. Even now that they've stopped kissing, Katie looks like she's face planted into a bowl of strawberry frosting.
"So Katie found her mate," Mom says, raising her eyebrows in my direction.
"Ahuh."
"What about you?"
"Can we just get going?" I say, dropping my bag in the trunk and slamming it shut.
"Sure," Mom says, looking at me sideways.
I haven't exactly lied but I'm not about to just come out and say 'oh yeah, I found my mate and he's going to be our next alpha, but he hates me, and did I mention he's a dude!' Still, I don't like the way Mom is looking at me like she can tell there's something I'm not saying.
"What?!?"
"Nothing," she says, holding her hands up innocently. "Did you have a nice time at least?"
"It was a real howl."
I jump in the car and shut my door.
Mom turns the key, revving the engine, and my stomach feels like it's caught in the fan belt. We pull out of our park and begin driving back down the path toward the highway.
I turn in my seat and glance back at the camp. It's already out of view, hidden behind the hill.
I feel like I've forgotten something. Or left something important back in my cabin.
One last look then I force myself to turn around, focus on the road ahead of me.
There's no point looking back now. I attended the Blue Moon Festival and it was everything and nothing like I thought it would be.
I sigh a breath of relief as we merge onto the highway and pick up speed. It's finally over.
I never wanted to go and barely enjoyed myself the whole time we were there and now it's done.
So why don't I feel happy?
Why do I feel like I'm leaving the party early?
I reach up and rub my shoulder where the rogue bit me. The wound has healed entirely. The scars are just white dots against my peach-tone skin. But I feel as if he's still biting me, his fangs digging deep in my flesh, holding on for dear life.
And I'm still waiting for someone, my someone, to come and save me.
As road signs zip past, I realize he was never going to come and save me. And it doesn't matter now.
I'm going home, back to my life from before. Before the festival and before him...